10 Month Old Screams to Get What He Wants

I would definitely recommend teaching sign language. He's old enough to sign "please" and "thank you". I also wouldn't doubt his cognitive skills at this age. He probably understands quite a bit of what you tell him.

As far as what to do in the situation where he's screaming, I would wait until there is a break in the screaming and then model what you would want him to say. For example, he sees a cracker and starts pointing and screaming. You wait until he has calmed down a bit. As you hand him the cracker, say "Cracker, please?". You can also model the sign language. Once he has the cracker and his happy, say "Thank you!" along with the sign.

Sign language is a great tool. Also, you can explain to him that he can have what he wants after he calms down. AT HOME, let him yell but don't give him what he wants until he's not yelling. That way you will reinforce the positive behavior and not "give in" to the yelling (HARD NOT TO DO!).

HI M.,
Children his age understand us a lot more than we think. The problem is that we don't understand them which means that their only means of communication is crying, screaming, whining, etc.
Sign language is an awesome way of giving your child the means to communicate with you. There are several ways you can learn: CD Rom (which I have seen at Babies R' Us in the parenting book section), flashcards (which I have seen at Target in the parenting book section), classes such as ABC Sign Me, or DVDs such as (Baby Signing Time). Whichever you choose I would highly suggest a program that uses ASL instead of invented signing. That way you are teaching your child an actual language. I am enormously partial ot he Baby Signing Time DVDs. I have been using them with my son for the last month and I have probably learned a good 50+ signs. They have catchy music on it, the creator teaches you how to make the signs, and then she shows babies using it. You can purchase them on Amazon or on her site: www.babysigningtime.com

I also advocate for sign language.
My daughter is 14 months now and signs about 10 words (milk, eat, more...) She loves being understood! She still screams from time to time, so we would look at her but that's it.
I'm not into ignoring him, because he has now no other way to communicate what he wants. So, if he creams for food and you ignore him, you only get a cranky hungry little boy who will be to upset to eat when the food finally comes. It's OK to ignore him when he has other ways to communicate what he needs (signs or words), but meanwhile it will be very hard on both of you and I'm not sure what good it will bring.

We have four grown children now...however, I am surprised that you think your little one doesn't understand you at his age. They certainly DO understand you, but you do need to be patient and calm and speak in a calm voice and let him know it's NOT ok to scream like that, that they won't get their own way by doing it. And by the way...you may have thought it funny when he was screaming at the restaurant, but it isn't fair at all to the other people there to have to listen to your little "screamer". People don't go out to have to listen to someone else's child scream! I hated screaming (still do) and don't do it myself and didn't do it with my own children. Spoke to them in a calm voice and let them know that we don't scream to get our way. My kids just didn't do it...they knew it wasn't acceptable!

ten months is not "that" little....by a year i remember my son was saying several words. and he will never know if you don't teach him. give sign language a try, that might be helpful. but also, if you already know what he's screaming for, teach him the word for it. when he screams for a cracker, say, "honey, sssshhhh..." (speak quietly so he has to stop screaming to hear you, wait until he is done screaming so you can be heard), "do you want a cracker? say CRACK-ER"....he may be too young to talk, strictly speaking, but he's not too young to try, with a little guidance. praise him for his attempts. teach him right away that screaming isn't the way to get anything, and he won't do it for long. but yes, it is a phase they all go through. hopefully it will be a short one :)

Ignoring the behavior doesn't let him know it's not okay to scream. I completely understand not wanting to ignore him anyways since he has no other way to communicate. Just because babies don't understand what they are being told doesn't mean you don't say it to them. Eventually they learn what it means. Every time he screams, tell him "NO screaming" in a firm voice. Put food in front of him and tell him "eat" while making the sign for eat. I'm a HUGE signing advocate. Even teaching them a few words will help tremendously. The signs I would definitely teach are mommy, daddy, eat, milk (eventually drink), more, all done (finished) and help. I used the following website when I needed to learn new words: http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm since your son is older he'll learn it pretty quick.

I taught my older one sign and by 18mo about the time she started speaking she knew close to 100 signs. It was sooo great to be able to communicate what we heard and saw before she could speak.

Good luck with your little screamer! :)

Don't use sign language, and don't give him what he wants when he screams. He's not communicating, he's demanding. I am the mother of three grown children, and i will tell you he will not try and use words if he gets what he wants by screaming and by sign language. I had a daycare mom with this same issue, to the point she once was asked to leave a resturant, because people trying to enjoy and evening and a meal out with their family could not enjoy it, she also was asked to leave a hospital because of his screaming, you may not like this idea but she said it worked, every time he screamed she told him no screaming and if he continued to scream she flicked his cheek with her middle finger, other than it stinging a little it did him no harm, she said in about a week she said the screaming went way down, and eventually he stopped. Julia is right when she says he probably understands quite a bit of what you tell him. In My daycare I teach use your indoor voice. I don't suggest you ignore him, not because it's not fair, it is fair but because if you ignore negative bahavior he will not know it's negative, like one mom said 10 months is not all that little, and discipline honestly starts from day one. hope this helps. J. L.

You may want to work on ignoring him until he get your attention some other way. It may only be a phase, but if it's not, then it can be hard to get anything done in public without giving in. Screaming worked once, so it'll work whenever I want something - that may be what he is thinking.

He's testing out his screaming - don't give him what he wants when he screams, but DO communicate with him. Tell him you don't understand when he screams. Ask him what he wants - the more words you use with him, the more he will learn. Don't assume he doesn't know what you're saying. He may not understand everything, but they know more than we realize.

I have to disagree with the woman who said he won't talk if he uses sign language to get what he wants. We used baby signlanguage with our son - he chose a few signs to use, and was talking just after he turned 1. There are studies that show the signing kids talk EARLIER because talking is more efficient than sign language. Sign language for babies helps them develop language before they are physically capable of speech. They can think before they can talk - part of the frustration of the terrible twos.

Good luck.

10 months is still very little! Lots of kids go through this stage, including my own! I never did the "ignore them" route, I didn't think that was fair to them...like you said, they can't talk at this age so how else are they supposed to communicate with you? Rest assured it is only a stage and it too shall pass! I always gave them what they were wanting, with a "no screaming" attached and all my kids turned out just fine...no screaming, all can talk now and know how to use proper manners and such. Until you are absolutely positive your little guy can understand you, I do not see the logic in the ignoring them philosophy? But to each is own...