S.G.
Hi
I had the same issue. I gave my son a spoon of his own to hold and then put food in his mouth when he was experimenting with his spoon. Makes them feel like they have a little more control.
As for table foods - the universal first food seems to be cheerios (or gerber puffs). See if she likes picking these up and self feeding. Once she gets the hang of that she might be more willing to try other foods.
Good luck