My son slept fine in his crib fine until about 6 months. Then all of a sudden just laying him in his bed would wake him up and he would scream. I listened to everyone but THEY didn't seem to understand. I was told if I didn't let him scream it out I was spoiling him. And I would let him scream and turn up the TV and destract myself and then give in. But it wasn't immediately like everyone thought. He would cry for 2 hours sometimes longer before I gave in. This didn't seem right. So for a few months he slept with me and my husband.
Then my cousin told me about Ferber and he went to sleep fine after the 3rd night. Problem is after about a month he started waking up anywhere between 3-6 am and want to sleep with me. If I put him in bed with me he goes to sleep instantly. If I rock him and manage to get him back to sleep he wakes and screams before I can get out of his room. How do I make him stay asleep or atleast go back to sleep in his bed? He has become wild in his sleep kicking, spinning, laying on my head, etc.
He has learnt that if he screams and kicks enough, you will come and get him. The best way to resolve this is to let him be. Don't go into his room. Just let him scream for as long as it takes for him to fall back to sleep. First night is awful, second is bad, third is often a lot better. Expect to have to redo this once in a while if his schedule gets off. good luck.
Stop giving in & letting him in your bed. He now knows that you will eventually cave in. You are going to have to be strong & not give in. Even if it takes 3 + hours & a few horrible nights, don't give in. The rule in our house is that you can only crawl in bed with mommy after the sun comes up (granted in the summer that's 5:30 a.m.).
Wow, I remember those days. My first was like that also, neither child liked the crib. Her is a couple of suggestions that might work. Get a night light, green or blue something soothing. Then get a cd or dvd crib player that will go on when he makes noise or moves. It might soothe him into sleep. If you can't find that, perhaps a mobile above his head that twinkles or plays music. That always put mine to sleep. Hope this helps.
Also, you might want to bring the crib or bassnett? into your room, until you can get some sleep (he may feel better just seeing you), and he gets alittle older. I know most people will frown on that, but if it gets you some sleep, so what. Especially when your second one is around. You have to do what is right for you!
I say...this too shall pass! Our babies grow up so fast and before we know it they are not our babies anymore. I just try to take each stage in stride. You can try to enforce that you want him to stay in his own bed but at some point you might need to realize that he just NEEDS to be close to you right now. What you will remember one of these days are the mornings you cuddled in bed together :) You won't want to remember all the mornings you laid in bed and tried to drownd out his crying :(
Good luck and hang in there! Soon he will be very independent.
What is his nap schedule like? If has one shorten it to one hour waking hime up or take it away. If he is at day care he can sit ther with books. I am sure they would prefer a happy well slept kid then a cranky one! Ask them what time they are starting nap, and stop in to see if it is true...some day cares start lunch earlier and do naps way to long so, the teachers can benefit from the free time. This maybe why he is not sleeping! I have also read doing all the bedtime routine stuff earlier such as after dinner is better then bed so, there is time in between and the kid is procrasting:)-not that this is the case.
My son is very sensitive to smells. The stinkier his blanket is the better! Can you possibly sleep in a t-shirt for a few nights and give it to him to snuggle in his own bed? I know it sounds strange but your son just might want your scent close to him.
I think Weissbluth says to not go to them when they wake up that early and basically do a CIO at that time as well.
My son some days wakes up around 5:30 but I let him hang out until 6:45 unless he's screaming. Some mornings he'll fall back asleep other mornings he talks to himself and plays in his crib. I was doing the same thing at first - bringing him in bed with us but I was nursing so we'd all fall back asleep. Now if I bring him in he thinks it's playtime. The other morning he wouldn't go back down so I turned on Sesame Street and he fell back asleep for a little bit.
You can't make him sleep, just help him to be comfortable. Make sure he's dry, fed, warm, and has a mobile for him to watch by nightlight. Maybe a musical one to soothe him. Then you must leave him. It's not easy and you could feel like the worst mom in the world but you're NOT. He has to learn to relax and entertain himself back to sleep. Don't talk to him during doing these things. He know you love him or he wouldn't keep doing this to keep you with him. He must break the habit of you being there all the time or you're the one that will pay for it when he's a year or two. He'll get out of control and you'll be half suicidal. He'll fall back to sleep mommy. Most of us go thru thiss
You may have found a solution by now, but in case you haven't here are some resources that I hope that you might find to be helpful...
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/sl6.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t050800.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/sl15.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t131200.asp
Best wishes,
J.
Your instincts were right about not wanting to let him cry it out at 6 months. Usually they say 9 or ten months because at that age they don't physically need to eat in the middle of the night(Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child). Now that he stays up crying for hours if he isn't in your bed, I would lay on the floor until he goes to sleep. He needs to know you are there.After a week he should be ok. Each night move closer to the door until you are outside of his room so you can slip away easier and he will assume you are there. Good luck:)
OK, this might sound weird, but I let my 6 month old sleep on the floor. She nurses to sleep, and it has become increasingly difficult to transfer her to her crib after she falls asleep on the boob. So, I got a thin foam mat and put it on the floor in her room. I nurse her to sleep on it, and once she's good and asleep, I roll out the door. She still wakes once or twice a night, so I just go in and nurse her back to sleep on the floor. I was bringing her into my bed with me before, but she's bigger and more mobile now, and I don't sleep well with her arms and legs flailing on me all night. I do put pillows all around the mat so she doesn't roll around on the floor too much. I don't know what we're going to do once she starts crawling or walking, but for now, this works beautifully.
I totally understand your predicament, and I could never ever let my baby cry it out either. Maybe if I'm still doing this when she's two, I'll think about it:)
