1 Month Old Will Only Sleep on My Chest

This was my son to a tee. And my mom was constantly on my case about it. I tried to get him to kay next to me with my hand touching him and eventually that was ok and then eventually the bassinet was ok. He stopped sleeping on my chest around 6-8 weeks old. Now he's almost 5 months and sleeping great, so there is hope!

My son was the exact same way for the first month! It was so hard to get him to sleep anywhere else besides on me! I started laying him down on his side instead of on his back. He woke up everytime I put him on his back, but kept sleeping when I placed him on his side. Hope that helps!

I am going to echo a lot of what is suggested. I do recommend swaddling, white noise, and a swing. I know it is great to have baby sleep on you, but one of my 2 1/2 year old twins who did that all the time as a baby has a horrible time sleeping through the night now and hates going to bed unless she is exhausted. I know it was because she spent too much time in the swing,or on me and did not learn how to soothe herself. Do it gradually, it is okay to let them cry a little bit. Swaddling did make a big difference! Maybe a pacifier or crib light? My other twin sleeps awesome through the night, and I would put her down when she was sleepy as she wanted her own space and wanted to be in the bed(she is still like that!). She loved (and still loves) soft blankies and her pacifier! I have had a lot of moms tell me that they utilized the Babywise method and that really helped. I have bought the book but haven't spent anytime with it (I am expecting my 3rd in Aug). It is pretty rigid sounding (the book), but I have friends that swear by it. Good luck, and take care of sooner than later. I wish I did! and I plan to do things differently with this baby.

My son did the same thing. I was nursing; so, I didn't mind him next to me, but it wasn't easy having him on my chest for a couple of months. And it's dangerous, because they can roll off of you without you realizing it. So, it's great that you're wanting to make this change.

When I changed his sleeping area, I did it during nap time. That way, I was fully awake (and more patient) when he was transitioning to his new area. Once he got used to that, then we moved him to his crib at night. It really just took a few days for him to get used to it, and you could put her in a bedside sleeper for a little while. Also, try incorporating your scent into her bed items, because that will help comfort her. So, maybe her sheets, store them with your clothes to get your scent...something like that. Hope this helps.

I have such sweet memories or the same thing!! Treasure every moment; it wont last long. At some point you will have to set a routine, we chose around 4 months. all the best, liz

I had the same issue with my baby girl (who is now 7months). I would suggest buying a swaddler (target $12). It's quite a drastic change from the womb to sleeping in a crib. This snuggles the baby and prevents her from accidently jerking herself awake with those arms she doesn't have control of yet. I might also suggest a pacifier. (buy one specific for her age $2) I was against it at first but it became the only way to calm my girl while getting her used to the crib and sleeping without me. I would suggest ONLY using it at naptime and phasing it out by the sixth month. (we are doing fine without it now)

Also it does take a while for some babies to get a hang of falling asleep themselves. Just make sure you have a nap/bed time routine, that you do everytime. Then she will begin to feel comfortable because she knows what to expect next. Be patient it doesn't happen over night and sometimes there are bumps in the road after you've gotten into the swing of it.
I hope some of this helps! Oh! I remember feeling the same way! It will pass soon! Good Luck!

Hi M.,
I have a different perspective if you don't mind...I say treasure the moment of her only sleeping on your chest or next to you. I won't last forever and this is a bonding time for you both. If you look at it as the glass half full...you have a great excuse to catch up your sleep. My mom and other mothers really encouraged me to sleep when the baby sleeps. I'm a pretty active person, so this was hard, but when I learned to do it, I really appreciated the time to rest. I know there is a point where they have to learn to fall asleep on their own and in their crib, but if at 1 month old it isn't happening I wouldn't worry about it. My 2 year old falls asleep at daycare by himself and at night, but on the weekends, he still let's me hold him and rock himself to sleep for naps...I love it! They grow so fast, try to enjoy each phase they are in b/c it will be gone b/4 you know.

D.

Hi M.,

I know that it is very difficult to do anything that will make your baby cry. I have two children, 3 and 10 1/2 months. This is a touchy subject for me because I handled this issue two different ways with my children with two very different results. With my daughter, who is 3, I allowed her to sleep on my chest and in our bed (I nursed her until she was 2 1/2 mos old) and it took until she was 11 months old to get her to sleep part way through the night in her own room. I spent the next year trying to get her to sleep in her own room all the way through the night. She turned 3 years old this passed April. She still does not sleep through the night on a consistent basis. My son, on the other hand, is 10 1/2 months old (I also nursed him until he was 8 mos old). I did not co-sleep with him and he has always been confortable sleeping in his own space (crib/pack and play). He does not experience anxiety when you leave him in his crib to fall asleep, whereas my daughter still needs reassurances, and constant attention to get her to fall asleep (and stay asleep). He sleeps through the night and has since he was 7 months old. My recommendation and advice is that you use the blankets or Swaddle me to swaddle your baby and make her feel comfortable so that you can transition her to sleeping on her own as early as possible. I know that these are precious moments that you will not get back, but you can cherish your daughter and love her in other ways (and other times, like when she is awake). If she does not learn to sleep on her own, trust me, in the long run it will affect your ability to sleep long after the baby stage has passed. I am 30, 2 kids, 1 pom.

I know that it might seem hard and frustrating now....BUT just enjoy it because it will not be that way for long. I miss those sweet nights when my son did that. The first few months can be hard with the lose of sleep but it goes by so fast and pretty soon you will be looking back on this and remembering how precious it was.

Dear M.,
Your daughter is only one month old, I would not worry so much that she only sleeps on your chest. Just have patience and in time your daughter will sleep on her own.
Good Luck!

My oldest was the same way and I can say NOW that I have sweet memories of it. At the time, I was exhausted. I would say she sleeps well like that because she can feel and hear your breathing and heartbeat. That is how she is used to sleeping..when she was in side you. She will grow out of it..the first 3 months postpartum are just a fog, especially with your first. It WILL get better..for me it was always around 12-14 weeks.

Trying getting a mommy bear from Babiesrus. Also you might need to try some white noise like a fan. You daughter is listending to your heart beat and breathing the white noise and mommy bear can make the same sounds.

my baby slept on my chest until she was prolly about 2-3 months old. then she slept in a co-sleeper for a few weeks, then to a craddle/bassinet at the foot of the bed and then to her own crib by the time she was 3 months old. It is gradual, ENJOY it, I miss those moments!!

My son did the same thing until he was 2 1/2 months old...then I put him in the bassinet and he stayed down. Now at 6 1/2 months he is sleeping for 10 straight hours in his crib...I miss him at night, but the sleep sure is great. Give it some time and just make sure you both get rest...

Hi M.,

I agree with Claudia T., so I probably won't be helpful to you, but try to cherish times like these, because I promise you they do grow up so fast! We have a 12 year old, and I can't believe the things I worried about when he was an infant (like when he would sleep through the night, introducing solids, etc.)

What I'm trying to say is that everything seems like a big deal when they're babies, but when you reflect back on it later, you realize that it wasn't really important in the grand scheme of things.

We have a 6 month old that we are just cherishing so much right now. He sleeps with us every night, and I am not going to worry about any little things this time around. You know that book, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff"? That's the approach we are taking this time.

Do what you feel right about doing. If it's a problem for you that she sleeps on your chest, then by all means find a solution you can live with. But, if it's a problem for other people (ie mother-in-law telling you not to do that, etc.), politely thank them for their advice and then do what you want to do anyway. In the long run, you are the one who lives with your baby, and only you can know what is right for her.

Oh, and it's very normal for babies this young to want to be in constant contact with the mother. That is nature's way to insure their survival. So, she's probably not going to be happy about being separated from you. Every baby is different however. Our first one didn't mind being in his crib and always slept there. This one has never slept in his crib. We tried it in the beginning, but he always woke up immediately when placed in the crib, so we realized it wasn't a good option for him. Just follow your instinct and you will come up with a solution that works for your baby and for you.

I guess bottom line is do what makes life easiest for you :) If that means sleeping with the baby (within safety guidelines of course), then do that. If that means having the baby sleep alone, try that. She will be more likely to do this as she gets a bit older and is able to sleep more soundly (ie 6 months).

One more thing...our 6 month old slept on our chest at first too, but at this point he never does that anymore. So, it won't last forever. He now sleeps next to me, but not on me. So, it will get better soon :) Hang in there!

Good luck!
E. (mom to 4 blessings)

I agree with the other moms that say treasure it. My youngest just turned one this month, and there is no way he would sleep on me now! He was colicy and had reflux, etc. The only way I got him to sleep on his own was by putting him on his tummy. I know they say don't do this until they can roll over, but I wasn't able to get a good nights sleep, so I tried it and it was the first time he slept by himself for more than 15 minutes. Everytime I tried to lay him in the side position swaddled in his blanket, he would undo the blanket and wake up immediately. Good luck!

I actually moved to the couch with both of my boys for about 1 month so that my husband could sleep. I was nursing so I was used to being up but from about 3 week to 2 months… they would ONLY sleep on my chest. My Dr. told me that if we were both getting some rest and we were being safe (keeping the baby near the inside of the couch or bed) then more power to ya’!

This too will pass; both of my boys were sleeping through the night by 3 months alone in their cribs.

Good Luck!
E.

If she's crying most of the time during those awake times, ask your pediatrician about reflux. Another culprit for fussy sleepless babies is lactose intolerance or milk allergy. If you're nursing, cut dairy from your diet for a week. If you're using formula, switch to a lactose-free version or to something like Enfamil Nutramigen. Either change will take 3 or 4 days to notice a difference.

I would try swaddling her and putting a fan for noise in her room. I bought a little fan for $10 at Target that I keep on his dresser and it's perfect. Not only does it provide white noise for him, it drowns out a lot of house and outside noise.

You never know if what works for others will work for your baby! My friend got into the habit of holding her daughter to sleep (it was cute and sweet) and at the age of 2, was still needing to be held to go to sleep and would wake up when she was put down. Katie was EXHAUSTED not being able to get sleep when the baby was sleeping, she couldn't get anything done around the house because she was holding the baby, and got pretty good at tying emails with one hand when the baby took a nap. I know she is a big advocate of get them used to sleeping in their own bed. She is now expecting #2 and has learned her lesson.... she's doing it differently this time!

Good luck, and congratulations on your little doll!

~ t

I am a new mom to a 6 wk old. My son prefers being held, sleeping on my husband's chest or in our bed and has the same issue of waking up when I put him on his back in his crib. When that happens in his crib, I feed him or pat is back for a while until he falls asleep and them put him back in the crib and that usually does the trick. Swaddling and using a passifier also seems to help. Sometimes putting something of yours with your scent on it also helps. I would do whatever it takes to get you little one to sleep even if it is letting her sleep in your bed or on your chest for a while. It will get better. My little one is sleeping better just in the last few weeks. Good luck! K.

Awww! This brings back precious memories!

My son did the same thing. I admit, though, I absolutely loved it. I think I probably held him for the first 3 months of his life - straight through. :) Lot of people said I would ruin his sleep habits, etc, by letting him do it. But when I felt like he was ready, I transitioned him into his own crib and he did awesome. I think he was just the kind of baby who needed that extra TLC for a little while longer.

I have friends who swaddled and it worked wonders for them. My son was never a fan of that, but some babies crave that snuggly feeling.

Also, my son was a tummy sleeper. A million people will tell you not to do it. But you will also find a secret society of other mommies who know that it was a saving grace to everyone's sleep when they finally agreed to try it. If it totally freaks you out, spend the $100 on an angel monitor. But so many babies prefer to sleep this way.

Another thing to try is a white-noise machine. This machine might be soothing for her as she falls asleep and will keep her asleep no matter what is going on in the house. They are at Walmart and Target.

Good luck!! :) And before you stop sleeping like this, you should totally have your husband take a picture of it. It's a memory you'll love to have.

S.

M., I agree with the "swaddle me" advice. There is a store in Grapevine called "The Nesting Place". The owner, Kay Willis, will show you how to use it which I think is helpful. She is a wealth of knowledge and is a baby junkie! She will sale you the item and fill your brain with lots of ideas at the same time at no additional cost! Also, ask Kay if there is a way to tuck a piece of clothing that you have worn in the swaddle me wrap, or even better, swaddle and then lay her next to you in your bed. She's only a month old and I would prefer that she be next to you, not on you! Then when its time to move her to her crib later she will be use to the swaddle me wrap and the transition will be easier. Hope this helps! Blessings of sweet somewhat interupted sleep!

A. Crowell, CPM,LM

I know this is not the advice you were seeking, but I think Elizabeth and Kristin hit it right on the nail. My Son is only 6 mo. and my husband and I already miss when he would just sleep for hours on our chests. Once they get mobile, that's that and they are off to explore the world. Enjoy that sweet little precious bundle and snuggle as much as possible... :)

Personally, I say enjoy it while it lasts! Most will disagree with me and that is okay. My 3.5yr old daughter still has trouble going to bed on her own but she is growing up so fast and there are more important battles for me to focus on...Now my 19 mo old wants his own bed and has no problem going to sleep by himself...He loved being swaddled in a blanket...

Do you wrap her in a receiving blanket? ("Swaddling") My first son-- I never wrapped him up because I hated the thought of being "bound" and didn't think he would like it either. But, my mother-in-law (mother to six) told me that they feel safer wrapped in their blanket (consider the space they are used to before birth). I started wrapping him at night and he seemed to sleep much better. They also don't awaken as easy if you are rocking them to sleep and then putting them in their crib after. I wouldn't worry too much if she still wants to only sleep on your chest. This is wonderful bonding for the two of you.

I cannot tell you how much swaddling our baby helped her to sleep. You can always swaddle with a blanket, but there is a product called Swaddle Me (I think that's the name) that makes swaddling easy. You can find them at Babies R Us. My daughter slept swaddled until she was about 6 months old.

Also, my daughter always wanted to sleep "on" us and we finally figured out that it was because she liked the warmth. Everytime we would put her into the crib she would SCREAM...So, we slid a heating pad between the crib sheet and matress. We would turn it on a few minutes before laying her down so that it could warm up the sheet where we would lay her. That way, she didn't get that big jolt from warm to not warm. You just have to be sure that you turn the heating pad off before you lay her down and that the cord for the heating pad goes underneath the sheet and out the bottom of the crib so that there is no risk for strangulation.

Good luck...these can be challenging times...

one of those bears that makes heart tones. my sister-in-laws have both said their kids went STRAIGHT to sleep when they attached them to their cribs. They just hook onto the side. Your daughter is so used to hearing the sound of your heart. It's like a bunch of kittens and a clock. Whenever we had a new kitten when I was little we put this travel analog clock by them under a blanket. They cuddled up to it and fell asleep instead of mewling all night long. It's a security thing...They want to hear something familiar while they sleep. She's used to hearing that particular sound, so try something like that :).

I had the same problem with my daughter, hers turned out because she was cold! the first couple of nights was hard but just keep her in the crib she will fall asleep!

M.,
my daughter was similar (she is almost 6 months now)....I went and bought one of those things that proppd her up on her side while she slept-Sassy makes the one I have-she didn't like being on her back at all....my daughter would not sleep anywhere but in my arms or on my chest and I started putting the prop in her bouncy seat and eventually I moved it to her bed...she has been sleeping in her crib for over 3 months now! If I am not explaining this correctly just email me and I will give more details....good luck!

I had the same problem with my son. We found that he loved to be swaddled but didn't like to lay flat (he had feeding and tummy issues for the first 3 months). So we let him sleep in his little baby papasan bouncer, it vibrated and was a life saver. We finally were able to transition him when he was about 10 wks old, but we elevated one end of his mattress and used a sleep positioner. It took time but it will all work out.

Just enjoy the time that she sleeps on you. I know I soak up every minute my 9 month old sleeps on me. It is my favorite thing about being a mom besides seeing his great smile.

Good luck,
J.

My daughter loved swaddling. Also she likes to sleep on her side or tummy. I loved the baby whisperer books. They do NOT tell you to let her cry it out. It may work for wome, but I couldn't do it! But I got my baby on her routine and it helped so much! She is a champion sleeper, now!

Your risk of SIDS if she is in a soft, warm bed (yours) does increase exponentially. My son was the same way and we spent a lot of time walking around with him, or him sleeping on our chests. But I have also heard stories of children who died from SIDS while laying on a parent's chest. (Which really blew my mind, because I thought they would be stimulated by the parent's heartbeat.) Anyway, I realized that part of the problem was the coolness of the crib sheet, I think it woke him up after getting used to being held all the time, and maybe the lack of movement. I tried rubbing the sheet with my hand to kind of warm it up, swaddled him, and placed him in the crib while rocking him back and forth, and then continuing rocking him with my hand in the crib a little. It was kind of comical. Just keep at it, (pacifier helped us)putting her back in the bassinet. Eventually she'll get the idea. As long as she isn't hungry or wet. Honestly, no baby every died from crying for a few minutes, too many babies have died from SIDS. (Crying for more than a few minutes, you should check them, my daughter was crying once because my long hair that was falling out post-partum had wrapped around one of her toes). It'll get better, honestly!

My daughter did the same thing but finally out grew it. The Doc said it was just cause they are used to the womb so much that being away from stuff is scary feeling almost like a falling feeling so to use swaddling and swinging and white noise. She was too strong so always broke out of swaddling but for about the 1st 3 mos or so she would only sleep on someones chest or in her swing that we were able to plug in to keep the swing motion. Once she started getting used to the bed a white noise machine helped. My daughters fav on her swing was the sound of ocean waves so at walmart near the candles I found a 5 in one noise machine for $10 that had the same sounds on it as her swing. You could set it to turn off in an hour or to play all night. Now she uses a fan for noise. :) Good luck - it gets better. My doc called it the 4th trimester lol.

Hello M.,

You daughter has YOU trained; you need to turn that around today, IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THIS SITUATION BEFORE IT BECOMES EVEN WORSE.

Get your daughter on a flexable schedule; feed her, play with her and give her some time to stretch, look around, listen to you read and watch you go about your daily chores, when you want her to go back to sleep, just go put her in her crib or bassinet on her back and leave the room; no need to return to the room until it is time for her to get up and eat again, then begin the routine all over again. At bedtime for over night, put her to bed awake, feed her again in about 3 to 4 hours then put her right back to bed. She will catch on to your way of doing things quickly and life will be great for all again. It will not harm your daughter to cry, it is great for your daughter to learn that she can comfort and put herself to sleep. She will find her thumb or fingers if she likes to suck, so you will not have to get her in the habit of finding her pacifier for her and going in and out of her room to put it back in. This is the best advice that I can give you and I guarantee that your daughter will be sleeping well within the next two weeks. You will have to be consistent and do this all the time, not just occasionally.

P.

Hi M.,

My daughter just turned 4 months and you sound just like me 3 months ago. It was like a switched turned on and she would only sleep attached to me. I tried a schedule and routine, but it won't work. As one LC explained it to me, "there are some babies in this world that need a 4th trimester" and i happened to have one. And remember, they do not understand nor have the knowledge to manipulate you so don't worry about spoiling her. Once you can accept that, you'll be fine. I ended up with the boppy around me, in the recliner, laid back with her on my chest, protected by the boppy for several weeks. Around 3 months she suddenly got better. At 1 month she kept refusing a pacifier, but i kept trying at sleep times. Now, that is her routine...she's getting sleepy, she takes her pacie, put her in her bed (on her tummy) and she goes to sleep. I'm in the tummy sleep club too. it was the only thing that worked for her.

Another really good tip is to make sure she isn't cold. That ended up being a factor that helped us out. She loved the sound of the hair dryer, it would calm her to sleep. Now we have a white noise machine that she loves....(www.sleepwellbaby.com) they have free shipping!

Just remember, there's hope to sleep with your husband again soon. Like the other's have said, cherish these moments. She's only 4 months and i've been guilty to nap with her just to have that bonding time even though she doesn't require it anymore. Keep doing what you're doing, it will be ok. She will fall into a schedule very soon, i promise!

If you need anything else, feel free to send me a message. I have much sympathy for you!

Best of luck,
J.