Discover practical strategies to manage holiday stress, particularly for women. Learn to lower expectations, combat social media pressures, enjoy virtual gatherings, and find joy in meaningful moments this holiday season.
Introduction
Originally published on APA.org in December 2006, the study Holiday Stress, authored by Anna Greenberg and Jennifer Berktold, remains a valuable resource for understanding the pressures of the season. Based on a survey of 786 adults, the research highlights how the holidays can amplify stress, particularly for women, while also offering moments of joy and connection. While the data is from 2006, the tale is as old as time, as the saying goes, and still relevant. This blog summarizes the key findings, nests them a bit more in the current times, and provides actionable strategies to help women navigate the holidays with less stress.
Why the Holidays Are Stressful for Many
1. Women Face Heightened Stress Due to Responsibilities
Women reported significantly higher levels of holiday stress compared to men, with 44% stating that their stress increases during the holidays, compared to 31% of men. Women were also more likely to take on labor-intensive holiday tasks. For example, during Thanksgiving, 66% of women said they cooked (versus 35% of men), and 70% reported cleaning up (versus 41% of men). Despite their efforts, only 27% of women strongly agreed they could relax during the holidays, compared to 41% of men.
2. Financial Strain Intensifies Stress
Financial pressures disproportionately impact lower middle-income households earning $30,000–$50,000 annually. A majority (53%) of respondents in this income bracket reported increased stress during the holidays. Specific concerns included a lack of money (67%) and the pressure to avoid accumulating credit card debt (44%). The commercialism of the holidays further exacerbated financial worries for 60% of respondents in this group.
3. Emotional Contrasts: Joy vs. Stress
While the holidays evoke positive emotions such as happiness (78%) and love (75%), they also lead to stress (61%), fatigue (68%), and irritability (52%). These conflicting emotions illustrate the duality of the holiday experience—joyful yet overwhelming for many.
4. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms Are Common
The study highlighted the prevalence of unhealthy stress-relief behaviors during the holidays. Comfort eating was a significant issue, with 41% of women and 25% of men reporting that they turned to food for emotional relief, compared to 31% and 19%, respectively, during the rest of the year. Alcohol consumption also rose, with 30% of respondents citing it as a coping mechanism, up from 18% during non-holiday periods.
5. The Impact of Social Media on Holiday Stress
Social media has become an integral part of modern holiday experiences, but it often adds to the stress. Platforms like Instagram, Pinterest, and TikTok showcase curated posts of elaborate meals, perfect decorations, and expensive gifts, creating unrealistic expectations. This comparison culture can make people feel inadequate or overwhelmed, and the constant barrage of holiday advertisements and promotional content can pressure individuals into overspending.
6. Virtual Gatherings: Staying Connected While Reducing Stress
With families increasingly spread across states and countries, virtual gatherings have become a common holiday tradition. While these events reduce the logistical challenges of in-person gatherings, they introduce their own stressors, such as technology issues or the difficulty of recreating intimacy online. However, virtual celebrations also bring opportunities for inclusion and convenience, offering a way for families to stay connected.
Practical Strategies to Make the Holidays Less Stressful
1. Let Go of Perfection
It’s okay to lower expectations and aim for “good enough” instead of perfect. Many people fall into the trap of striving for an idealized version of the holidays. Focus instead on meaningful connections and experiences rather than picture-perfect decorations or elaborate meals.
2. Share Responsibilities
Delegate tasks to family members, whether it’s cooking, shopping, or decorating. Children can help with wrapping gifts or setting the table, and guests can contribute dishes for a potluck-style meal. Remember, the holidays are a family effort, not a solo project.
3. Set Realistic Financial Goals
To alleviate financial stress, create a clear holiday budget and stick to it. Thoughtful, low-cost gifts or experiences—like homemade treats or a family game night—can be more memorable than expensive purchases. The study found that financial concerns were a top stressor, with 67% of lower middle-income respondents citing them as a major challenge.
4. Explore Healthier Coping Mechanisms
While comfort eating and sedentary activities are common, consider more productive ways to manage stress:
- Physical Activity: A brisk walk or short exercise session can reduce stress and boost mood.
- Mindfulness and Meditation: Set aside a few minutes daily for mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, or meditation.
- Creative Outlets: Engage in crafts, baking, or decorating as a way to channel stress into something constructive.
- Spiritual Practices: The study showed that attending religious services or prayer were effective for stress relief, with 68% reporting increased participation in such activities during the holidays.
5. Be Present and Make Memories
Focus on being in the moment and finding joy in small, meaningful experiences. Whether it’s decorating cookies with your children, laughing with friends, or pausing to admire holiday lights, creating positive memories can help shift the focus from stress to connection. Recognize that these moments, not perfection, are what make the holidays truly special.
6. Combat Social Media-Induced Stress
- Limit Exposure: Reduce time spent scrolling through social media, especially during peak holiday season. Use app timers or take short digital detoxes to focus on your own experience.
- Be Intentional: Instead of passively consuming content, use social media intentionally to gather simple, actionable ideas or connect with loved ones.
- Practice Gratitude: Reflect on what makes your holidays meaningful instead of comparing them to others’ curated experiences.
- Shift the Focus: Remember that most social media content is staged and doesn’t reflect reality. Find joy in your authentic holiday moments.
7. Make Virtual Gatherings Meaningful
- Simplify the Setup: Use accessible platforms like Zoom or FaceTime and provide participants with clear instructions.
- Create Shared Experiences: Plan a fun activity everyone can join, like decorating cookies together or playing virtual games.
- Focus on Connection: Embrace the opportunity to include loved ones who might not otherwise attend in-person celebrations.
Conclusion
The holidays are a time for joy and connection, but they often come with significant stress, particularly for women. The study by Anna Greenberg and Jennifer Berktold in 2006 underscores the need to acknowledge these challenges and take actionable steps to manage them.
Modern challenges like the influence of social media and the rise of virtual gatherings bring new dimensions to holiday stress, but they also present opportunities for connection and creativity. Combat the pressures of social media by limiting exposure and focusing on gratitude, and make virtual gatherings meaningful by prioritizing shared moments.
By lowering expectations, sharing responsibilities, prioritizing self-care, and finding joy in the moment, you can transform holiday stress into an opportunity for connection, joy, and personal growth. Remember, the spirit of the season lies in the moments we share and the memories we create—not in perfection.
Citation
Greenberg, A., & Berktold, J. (2006, December). Holiday Stress. Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research. Published on APA.org.
Check Out Related Topics on Mamapedia
Explore more discussions that might interest you:
How do you handle the stress of the holidays!!??
What’s there to do for the holiday
How do you split your holidays??
Some of these suggestions are definitely still relevant, however the numbers don’t work anymore (speaking as an academic). It would be really surprising if the division of holiday work by gender has not budged in almost 20 years, for example. Maybe it hasn’t, but still, I think an article like this needs newer data. Also, the poverty level for a family of four in 2024 is $31,000. The ‘lower-middle income’ category mentioned in the article is now working poor. I would love to see a discussion like this which is more current. Just a suggestion, and thank you for bringing up things to consider.
@alewinson You are 100% correct that the data has likely moved in 20 years, in particular the poverty level, and that old data does not pass academic scrutiny. Sounds like some data updating and editing for this article could be useful so thanks for the suggestion.
A project for someone to do!