Making Mistakes

I want to show you something.

Do you see this?

It may look like a simple canning jar partially filled with glass beads, but in Mandyland, it’s something else entirely.

Each of those beads are mistakes.

That one? That’s from me miscalculating the first chicken coop design.

And that one? That’s from Chad getting upset over said design flaw.

That one right there was from Joseph spilling his salsa on the carpet.

And one towards the bottom was from me buying too much fish.

I bet you’re wondering why we have this jar, aren’t you? I’m about to let you in on a dirty little Mandyland secret.

We hate making mistakes.

I know. So does everyone, but we really hate making mistakes. You know the saying, you learn from your mistakes? Yeah. That’s not part of our credo. I’m bad, but Chad’s worse. It must be from being two oldest children who tried so hard to achieve childhood perfection. (I’m sure we were as obnoxious as we were adorable.)

Or maybe it’s because I’m a Virgo and expect nothing less than the best from myself.

And Chad’s a Capicorn who feels the same way.

And Joseph is a Taurus first born who is following our footsteps.

Which, quite frankly, scares the pants off me. Because, logically, I know we learn from mistakes and making them is a natural part of our human experience. Mistakes strengthen us. They make us think outside the box. They instill perseverance and make us work harder for our goals.

They’re also unavoidable.

Which is why, when I watched Joseph melt down after making a small mistake, berating himself, punishing himself worse than I’d ever dream, I got scared.

I stopped, stepped back and watched how Chad and I acted when mistakes were made.

I was fairly patient when the kids made mistakes, but woe befall Chad if he did. And when I messed up? Self-doubt, frustration, irritation – all the emotions I saw in Joseph.

When Chad makes mistakes? Well he doesn’t. Or, at least, he claims he doesn’t. Which, in many ways, is worse.

So what’s a mother to do when she realizes she’s making a mistake in how she deals with a situation? Thankfully, when said mother works with educators, the answer is easy to find.

See that bead at the very bottom of the jar? It was the first one in. It was accompanied with an announcement:

“I made a mistake. I let myself get frustrated and irritated when I messed up and that showed my family that mistakes are bad things. I learned that mistakes are good and we should celebrate them by keeping track.”

And what happens when we fill our mistake jar? We’re going to buy pizza and take it to the drive in where we will probably spill our drinks and step on the pizza box and start another jar of mistakes.

Mandy Dawson of Mandyland is a wife and mother of two living on the Central Coast of California. When she’s not figuring out how many beads scratching the car should require, she can be found blogging In Mandyland.