Why I'm Grateful for Night Wakings
Reese has been sleeping really well for the last week, so well that I did not expect to be awoken at 3am last night, but it was by her sweet whimpers that echo through my baby monitor.
On this night at 3am, I am happy, not annoyed, to have my precious sleep interrupted.
In this moment, late at night, she is mine and I am hers. It’s just the two of us, my thoughts, our snuggles and the white noise blaring in the background.
I found myself actually okay with getting some snuggles and not being upset. You see, she has been sleeping through the night (yeah!) and doing so in her own crib for the past week (Double Yeah!).
I have been looking forward to her sleeping through the night since I had her. It’s finally arrived, and in this moment I am extremely proud, but surprisingly sad at the same time. I am sad because I miss her and she is growing up so fast.
Before I became a parent, I mocked parents that did EVERYTHING for their kids and simply couldn’t let go. You have one job as a parent, I thought, and it’s to raise them to be independent and a productive member of society. I still believe that, but what I didn’t realize is how hard and challenging it is to stick to your guns when it comes to this goal. I have selfish motives and I want to snuggle and hold her as much as possible.
She is growing and moving so much that she doesn’t snuggle and cuddle with me as much as she once did. Also, being a working mom leaves me little time to get the moments I really want with her during the week. Once we get home, the mission is to eat dinner, play a bit, bathe and bedtime. That doesn’t make time for much of anything else.
Don’t get me wrong – I am beyond excited to see her grow and learn how to crawl and eventually walk – but I do miss the cuddles already and she is only 6-months-old.
So, you see, at 3am… she is all mine.
No distractions, no checking my emails, no bills to pay, nobody asking me, “What’s for dinner?”, no rushing around to get her ready to go to one place or the other.
In this moment, in the darkness with her night light on, her calm and collected body in my arms, eyes shut; I cherish this moment, and know that it will be gone quicker than I can blink. I look at her fast asleep and wonder what her future entails. I daydream about those things, and the girl she will become. I catch myself falling asleep with her in my arms, and then I put her back in her crib, pat her little behind and kiss her goodnight. She never fusses at this hour and she drifts back to sleep like the little angel she is. I catch myself staring at her and thanking God for the true miracle and blessing that she is. What did I do to deserve this moment, I wonder?
In this moment, she is mine, and I am hers.
Michelle Hancock is a thirty something wife, working mom, stepmom, and a Pinterest obsessed blogger. Striving to be a modern day Wonder Woman, but quickly learning that sometimes life has other plans. Read about family, food, fun and then some at Mind of Meesh Follow Mind of Meesh on Facebook and Pinterest.
