48 answers

Your Wrong Married Men Keeping Secret Woman

i am a divorced woman for 11 years, my divorce was very hard on me and kids, took almost 3 years to finish divorce and criminal hearings. anyway the company i work for , one of the owners and i were close, but we became closer and over time we developed feelings for each other. we started off with luches, then motor cycle rides, then weekend at the beach, then trips to weekend concerts. he tells me he loves me so much, but he is complicated, he doesn't want to hurt his children or his wife, nor me and he doesnt want to loose any of us. he buys me all kids of this, he takes good care of me, but what kind of man is he. i have worked for the family for almost 12 years, the more time that passes, the more time he spends with me. i have been doing sole searching lately cause my 3 boys are grown and then i will be alone like a dirty secret, but please help me understand. what kind of man is he? his favorite lines are i am complicated and i wish i were a moreman. i am so confused. just so every one knows his kinds are grown, my youngest is 17 and his kids nor my kids know anything. and i would never confront his wife he has to do that

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So What Happened?™

your wrong rebeca, i want honesty, so bring it on, i wouldnt be here if i didn't. i just wanna hear what other women think, he is spending more and more time with me and spending more and more money on me so what does that mean?
and jennifer h. i lost my husband to another woman and drugs so i know where you are coming from. my ex husband made me feel like crap about myself. i lost over 45lbs the first 2 weeks, this relation ship didnt just happen quick.it slowly developed over years. he biult my inner sellf back up and his face lights up when he see's me like a little kid. but i am ashamed of my self more than any of you could know and i have thought about going to the wife, but no thatwould crush her and the damage to every ones life. for get mei am harsher on myself more than any of you could be i need help as to what kind of man is he

Featured Answers

What kind of man is he? He's the kind of man who cheats on his wife. That tells me everything I need to know. Now, what kind of woman are you?

20 moms found this helpful

I think you are scared of a "real" relationship so you specifically chose a man that is unavailable. Time to grow up, get over the past and go find a man who is not a cheater and who is emotionally available.

8 moms found this helpful

You asked, "what kind of man is he?". Simple...He is a cheating kind of man.

So what if he says that he is complicated..he is not. It really is that simple. He is cheating on his wife with you.

I believe you meant to say that he wishes that he was a mormon vs more man. I think the latter is a better fit. He probably does wish he was more of a man. Like a good man that does not cheat on his wife and put his family at risk for destruction.

7 moms found this helpful

More Answers

What kind of man is he? He's the kind of man who cheats on his wife. That tells me everything I need to know. Now, what kind of woman are you?

20 moms found this helpful

ETA: www.survivinginfidelity.com

There's a board on the site JUST for people who are betraying their spouses, and affair partners who are trying to pull their head out and stop causing wreckage & pain to others... Plus a lot of good reading.
____________
Sweetheart... Your self esteem is STILL in the crapper.

1) You're stealing from another family...

Money, time, and love.

- $ . If asked to, Could you make a financial amends to this woman and her kids? How would YOU feel if someone stole 5,000, 10,000, god only knows how much you've stolen over the years from these kids by accepting gifts from this man.

- Time. How much time from his family have you stolen? Weekends? Where a woman is home alone with her kids while the man who is SUPPOSED to be loving & cherishing her BEFORE all others is out galavanting with you and your kids. Where daddy isn't there to help with homework, play catch, talk about girls, or in any other way be a good parent to his own kids.

- Love. Love is a decision. And its work. By providing something "shiny"... How many shoulders to cry on, smiles to share with, hands to cheer with, heart to grow closer to, laughs, hugs, sex, conversation, etc... Have you STOLEN from his marriage?

2) That he values his wife so much as to LET you, shows you exactly how much he respects his vows, commitments, and BOTH. of you. Aka, not at all.

3) He's a selfish coward.

If he really cared about EITHER of you he'd have divorced his wife YEARS ago... To. Let. Her. Find. Someone. Worthy. Of. Her.

- Instead of being a cake eater by pretending to love her & keep her on the back burner NOT ALLOWING HER TO FIND THE LOVE SHE'S WORTHY OF.

- Wanting you to have someone worthy of you who puts YOU and your kids first in his life.

= Selfish coward... Who wants a cook/maid/babysitter/sex partner at home, and then keeps you as his piece on the side for whenever he wants a change up.

4) He's a liar.

- Everything he's ever told you about her is likely to be a flat out lie. EXACTLY what you need to hear to keep you on the line. Like not having sex (most men having affairs have MORE sex at home than they do in the affair, according to Kinsey's. I can verify that anecdotally. We were have sex a couple times a day during the entirety of his affair... Until I found out about it). Whether or not she knows / if they're in an open relationship is another common one. That she's crazy/cold/mean/abusive (Oh! You poor thing!). The list goes on.

Because for darn sure... He's lying to her about you. Every. Day. The woman who knows him best is being lied to. And if she's not catching him at it, how many lies do you think YOU'VE missed.

.... I could go on.

It would be nice if scummy men didn't have such great EXTERIORS, huh? I'm sure he makes you laugh, smile, feel good... All the while he is a lying cowardly bastard.

And you want to be in a relationship with a lying cowardly bastard? REALLY?

Or has he just preyed on you, with your standards in the toilet after being treated like garbage for so long, that being treated like recycling seems "good"?

15 moms found this helpful

He is a cake and eat it kind of guy.

14 moms found this helpful

SAeriously?
You know what kind of man he is? The kind of man that likes to have some $ussy on the side. And that's exactly what you are.
He wants to be able to be with his family, his WIFE, HIS kids, and have you on the side.
He doesn't love you. He doesn't respect you. He doesn't want to be with you.
And I am not Mormon, but last time I checked they do NOT approve of polygamy. That's stupid.
YOU WORK FOR HIS FAMILY???? Does that mean you know his wife??? ICK ICK ICK. That's so nasty.
You know his kids, you know his wife, and you are still sleeping with this man.
Find some self respect, find a new job, leave this creep.
I want to make sure that you understand that you are not some little innocent bystander in this whole thing. You KNEW that he was married before you started anything with him. That's gross. He promised to love and respect his wife and here he is sleeping with you. Also gross.
It's like a Jerry Springer episode.
BLECH.
Laura

14 moms found this helpful

He's the kind of man that cheats.

He's the kind of man that lies to his spouse.

He's the kind of man that manipulates.

The question isn't what is HE doing with YOU. The question is what are you doing with him? Why have you lowered your standards to his level?

12 moms found this helpful

What kind of man is he???

He is a cheater
He is a liar

He is not trust worthy
He has broken his wedding vows

He claims he loves you. Yet he hides your relationship from the world.
He claims he doesn't want to hurt his wife and children yet that is what he is doing by having an ongoing affair.

Don't you want better??

11 moms found this helpful

what does it mean?

It means you are both weak and lack morals and the ability to set healthy boundaries.

Nothing more.

I'm not sure why you are confused. It seems to me you are trusting someone you know to be dishonest. That is not wise. So, stop.

11 moms found this helpful

Okay, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you. YOU. Him too, but what in the world made you think it was okay to start any kind of "thing" with a married man? You're a fool to think getting into a relationship with a married man is a good idea, and what about your kids? What are you teaching them? You and he both need to be taught a lesson in how to treat people. You're the kind of woman I tell my boys at the young ages of 5 and 7 to stay far away from. And that man you spend time with, what a complete piece of trash. He doesn't take care of anyone but himself and he has you both fooled. You are not harsh on yourself at all, if you were, you'd woman up and go the heck somewhere else. People like you and him honestly make me so sick.

10 moms found this helpful

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