Younger Sibling Left Out of Party Invite

My thoughts are that when Mary told Ann she could have a party, they probably told her she could have x amount of friends. Ann chose her friends to invite and Jane was not on that list. I think you are reading into this way too far. You're taking in personally...

One thing you can do is take Jane for a fun time with mom date while Kelly is at the party.

I hope I got the names all in the right spots...but I think you can understand what I'm saying.

I understand how you feel but think of it this way...Ann may consider Jane her "little friend" but Ann's other 7/8 year old friends may not. It may be easier to simply say that Kelly is attending a party for 7 year olds (period). Do not elaborate that "and you're not invited". You can say "so while Kelly is there, you and I are having movie time or going for ice cream (or whatever mommy daughter time you would both enjoy).

I think you need to let Kelly go and not even bring it up with Mary, she's made it clear that it's for older kids. Just because the kids all play together does not mean that when Ann can invite just 10 friends over that Jane is going to be in that 10. That it's a house party is not relevant.

Welcome to the real world where everything is not fair or in black and white but in shades of grey.

Your friend has planned Ann's birthday party at her home and she is inviting children her daughter's age (7). The younger one, Jane (5) is just that the younger one.

Now would be a good opportunity to teach Jane that there are going to be times when people get invited to things separately from each other. It hurts but it is better to learn this now than to learn it later in life when it will really hurt when someone says something to her in not so nice terms or words. Perhaps you can plan something special to do separately with Mary the day of the party and have some one on one time.

Sorry to be harsh but we all can't get to do the same things. Besides if the little one does everything the older one does what will there be for the little one to do for herself? When will she learn to be herself aside from her sister and her sister's friends? It is time to prepare the children for the future and how the world really works.

Let Kelly have her day and fun without little sis tagging along.

The other S.

PS It stinks but Mary did prewarn you about not inviting Jane

Edit: It doesn't matter that the girls play together all the time and live in the neighborhood. It might be that there is a time when mom or Ann only wanted your older daughter around. Let it also be a learning experience for you since you are having the biggest problem with the invite. You can't force people to do things and never "assume" that they are family and would include everyone to everything.

AFTER READING YOUR SO WHAT HAPPENED:

It doesn't make any difference. Your younger child is NOT invited.

You children will need to learn sooner or later that they will NOT be included in EVERY invitation that their siblings get. Be gracious and do something special with you little one on the day of the older sisters party invite.

Blessings....

Please, don't be offended. We just had something like this happen not only with a birthday party, but with a Christmas party.

My daughter plays with three little girls across the street, the two oldest are a year apart. I had to draw the line in terms of how many kids I could realistically handle. So we said that we're only inviting third graders since my daughter wanted to invite some of her new classmates. Even though it's not a financial issue, it's REALLY hard to keep an eye on that many kids. They run through the house, sometimes get in arguments, etc.

Please, don't be offended! It is not because she doesn't like her! Plus, you don't want your older daughter to not be invited if the younger one is always seen as a "package" deal. Go do something fun with the younger one. Develop her own friends so she doesn't feel bad.

It's possible that it's not Mary's call, but she let her daughter (Ann) decide who she wants at her party. At 7, I can remember having more say over who was invited and who wasn't. It wasn't a free-for-all invite anymore.

It's possible that Ann, while she plays with your youngest all the time, still feels like Jane's a tag-a-long and she's obligated out of polietness to play with her. So, when she gets the chance to have a party and invite who she wants, your younger daughter wouldn't be on that list.

Try not to take it personally. She will understand when she's older. It can be a good teaching moment for your younger daughter. And, it's some good alone-time with you and her.

Just wanted to add, while it's not *likely*, it is possible that it was also your oldest daughter (Kelly) who asked Ann not to invite her younger sister. She probably gets tired of not having this same-age friend to herself at least sometimes.

I understand hurt feelings, but I don't think you should make a big deal of this. I really don't.
If the shoe were on the other foot, so to speak, and Jane was invited to a party without Kelly being invited, would you feel the same way?

A very lovely woman I know has 3 kids. They were all invited to a special function at a local lodge in which "Santa" would be attending and handing out gifts for the children. She and her mother RSVP'd thinking they would go and take the kids. What fun! However, the two youngest ones got sick and Grandma wanted to still take the oldest to the event and they would bring back the gifts for the other two. The mother said she wasn't going to let the oldest go either because it wouldn't be fair to the other two.
She asked my opinion and I said, "SHE isn't sick...why should she have to stay home and miss it? Is that fair to HER? She's been looking forward to this for weeks and she's the oldest. She can go with Grandma and have fun while you stay home and take care of the little ones and they'll bring back gifts. All bases covered."
Sometimes I think we over-think being "fair".

I hate to say it, but I know some really nice people who have not invited certain children to parties because the younger siblings are brought along as well. It's like, "You invite one kid, you get all of them for the afternoon." And it can turn into basically a couple of hours of babysitting. Parents don't want to have to say, NO siblings, please, so they just don't invite certain kids who they know will show up with two or three little brothers or sisters.
I'm sure it does sting that both your daughters weren't invited, but I think that you should let the oldest go and tell your youngest there will be times she's invited to things that her sister isn't.
Take Jane and one of her friends out for a cup of hot chocolate. A treat. Or go just the two of you.

The way she handles this will come from your cues.
If you bring it up with Mary, that puts her on the spot to explain or say to just let Jane attend anyway. I mean, it might be like you're not really giving her much of a choice.

My sister is 3 years younger than I am. We weren't invited to the same things all the time. On one hand, you don't want one kid getting to do something the other doesn't, but in life, no matter how close sisters are, they don't do everything together. It's a part of learning individuality and that doesn't have to be a bad thing.
It's tricky, I know, especially since you are such good friends with Mary.
It wouldn't be a friendship deal breaker for me and it shouldn't be for you either.

That's just my opinion.

Your girls are not a "package deal" no matter what. This type of thing will happen more and more, and it's the birthday child's option to invite who they want. I would explain to the youngest it was for 7 year olds only and leave it at that. If your five year old is upset, let her take it up with the birthday girl herself when they're playing.

My daughters are starting to get to the 'we don't want to do everything together' stage, although my 8 year old is a sweetie and still tries to include her 6 year old sister. My 6 year old, however, jumped at the opportunity the first time only SHE was invited to a friends house. I'm using it as a learning lesson: not everything is fair, not everything is equal.

Like my 6 year old's best friend goes to the same school as both the girls. She has an older sister and a younger brother, just like my kids... but the 2 older girls don't really know each other, even though they go to the same school. Technically they COULD have play dates all together, but they need to learn to survive separated as well ;)

So, having been in a similar situation, I totally understand where you're coming from regarding hurt feeling... but really, I made a bigger deal out of it than my kids did! Then I felt so stupid, LOL! When I told my 8 year old her sister had a play date and she did not, she said 'Okay, then can Haley come over?' PROBLEM SOLVED. (and why hadn't I thought of that?!)

It all comes out in the wash. Just wait until the girls are older and one has a boyfriend and the other doesn't ;)

your going to have to get a thicker coat of skin. kids get invited to party's of kids who are in their classes. if she invites your daughter who is 5 then 3 more girls will expect to be able to bring their younger siblings also. sometimes you have enough money / stuff to do a party for "x" amount of people I don't think anyone should get their noses out of joint because I choose to have a party for my 7 year old and only invite 7 year olds.

This is not about a party - but my niece & nephew. 5 and 3. Once I wanted to take only the 5 yr old to do something and my sister said no because the 3 year old would be upset that she couldn't go. I thought that was crazy! we actually got into an argument she said everything was going to be FAIR for her kids. I don't get it ... everything is not fair, kids cannot do everything all the time that their siblings get to do. For whatever reason. I understand you being hurt because you think of them as family ... But, I agree with what someone else said. The mom probably told the girl, you can invite this # of girls - who do you want? And your youngest daughter was not on the list.......

I understand how you are feeling, but please try to look at it a little differently. Sounds like "Ann" is school aged. And she probably has lots of other school aged friends (like your daughter, Kelly) invited to this party. It has nothing to do with the friendship your family has with the other family, or whether "Ann" is or isn't friends with "Jane", and EVERYTHING to do with having compatible guests at a party.

A birthday party is mostly about the honoree/birthday child, but a good party of any kind takes into consideration how the invited guests will interact and get along with each other.

It may or may not be an easy life lesson for your kiddos to learn right now, but the reality is they will have to face it. If you explain things matter of factly, without giving any unspoken indications to your kids that there is a "reason" for them to have hurt feelings, then your kiddos will adapt much more readily to the reality that your younger daughter won't be going to the party.

I went through this with my kids. And they were FINE. Every kid will eventually not be invited to something. You don't even have to take her to go do something else. You can, but it isn't necessary. She will be fine.
And no hurt feelings, mom, okay?

If it truly is an older girls party, she would have likely been left out. If I were Mary, I would have definitely thought of that. In addition, it was likely Ann herself, who requested only her older friends...not actually Mary.

Unfortunately, this will happen as your daughter gets older. Her friends will want to invite similar aged friends, and they are at the age to begin requesting that. I would be VERY surprised if this was something done to leave your youngest out. It's simply part of the process. Her daughter is growing up, and probably doesn't want "little kids" at her parties. I don't think you should approach it with Mary, at all. Like I said, it was likely done at Ann's request. I don't think this is personal, at all.

P,S.
It's clear that you are taking this very personally, no matter what anyone says. To me, this would be a non-issue. I guess I just can't understand why your panties are in such a wad over something so silly. Do you want our advice, or do you want to mope?

There is going to be many of a times when the two won't be invited to the same thing. Be it a party, the movies or a school function. I understand 5 might be a little young to grasp that concept that oh big sister is invited and I'm not because of my age. She needs to learn though.
My parents raised me that exact way. Just because your sibling was invited doesn't mean you are invited. They are two different people and should be treated as it.
There is a cost per child weather you are doing the party at home or somewhere else. There is always food, cake, drinks, party favors, games, ect. that need to be bought.
I think if you showed up with Jane it would also be very rude. That is like showing up to someones party because your friend you know is invited. Yes, they are young but same thing in my mind.

Please don't let this hurt your feelings. It's not too early for your five-year-old -- and you -- to get used to this, because it will happen pretty much for the rest of your kids' lives together under your roof.

See the posts about the real costs of an "at-home" party. Even a simple one requires, if not much cost, a good bit of planning. And consider this: If your younger child is invited (or tags along), then the parents of other kids who were invited will wonder, "Why wasn't my other kid who also plays with Ann invited to this party, since Kelly's sister was invited?"

If the mom invites not only the friends Ann wants to invite but also those friends' siblngs, it could easily double the number of kids, or more. It really is the host's prerogative to invite or not invite anyone, including siblings.

Of course you don't want your younger child to be hurt. But you also don't want your older child to feel she must share every experience with her younger sister -- right? So now is the time to establish that. If you act hurt about it they will pick up on it and feel hurt. If you take it in stride (and don't make any comments about it in their hearing) -- they will move on and deal with it. Kids are more resilient about these things than we think.

The only way in which I'd approach it with the mom would be to thank her for inviting Kelly and then get Kelly there on time, while using the party time to go off and do something with just you and Jane. Look at it as an opportunity to have some one-on-one time with your younger child, not as an intentional slight against your daughter -- or yourself.

You have to explain to the younger child that she doesn't get to go to every event. She may later choose not to invite the older girl to HER party and that would be her choice. I remember in an interview once Mrs. Dilley said that her kids had to learn that even though there were 6 of them, you couldn't substitute a Dilley. The kids had to learn that sometimes it wasn't for everybody.

I'd make it a Mom and Jane day and not make it a big deal that she's not going to the party. I would let the older daughter decide to go or not and not give her a guilt trip for going. This may be one of those things where the activities are really for the 7 yr olds or that the girl feels closer to the older child than the younger one.

My youngest nephew was not always invited to my SS's parties because even a few years can really show in maturity. He did come later when he caught up with the older boys. It wasn't about disliking Nephew. It was about a 14 yr old at a 17 yr old's party and the 17 yr old wanted to do 17 yr old things.

As someone who spent $400 on my son's birthday party at home (nothing big, either. Pizza, favors, cake...I borrowed a jumpy house)...
I can assure that cost does add up when there are a lot of kids involved.

I understand that it will hurt Jane, but how much really depends on how you play this off.
It's a good time to teach her the "not everyone is always included" lesson, and maybe use that time to do something special and fun with her. It isn't a big deal, and if you don't make it one, your daughters won't either.

I have two boys, age 6 1/2 and 5. My youngest has been invited to some parties, not others. Some good friends invite them both, some don't.

I think you need to let it go. It's a bummer, but as your older daughter makes new friends (and the younger one too) they will both have times when only one is invited, even IF they are friends with a whole family.

Make it a teaching experience.

If it really really bothers you, you should talk to your friend, but if she was pretty clear that she was not inviting the younger one, she must have her reasons.

I'm in your friend's situation now. I will say I'm still inviting siblings SOMETIMES but less and less. It's just crazy the number of girls my daughter is friendly with and the neighborhood kids etc and I"m so tired of these huge parties. Just tell Jane she'll be going to the sister's party probably and Kelly probably won't be. And then take her to do somethign fun. And are you sure there's no cost? We had a home party where I hired someone to help and over 10 kids meant I had to hire an assistant. That wouldn't have been obvious - ie: what's one more kid? In that case it was an incremental $200! 8 really is getting to the age of just her friends coming. Parties typically get smaller and her mom likely had to draw the line somewhere.

Reading your SWH, it's only 6 or 7 girls and she's inviting a lot of 5-6 year olds? Kind of weird... If 5-6 girls tops includes your daughter, then that's 4-5 girls invited, assuming you're not including Mary. If you are, then it's just 3-4 girls invited. That woud make it really small so understandable that your youngest isn't invited. It all does seem a bit odd but I'd just put this in the back of your mind and then see how things go. I agree with some people that inviting your youngest may open the door to everyone's siblings. Try to brush it off and hopefully it's just a thing about # of girls at this party. And remember these get tricky and as hard as peopel try to not hurt feelings, it's unavoidable sometimes unless you invite every kid you know. If the mom starts blowing other things off, then something personal probably is up. Likely not the case though.

It's normal... I was a slightly younger sibling this happened to as well with friends that my sister and I shared. Your youngest may get along with the older girls, but they would like to have fun with girls from school or whatever without a kid sister tagging along. When your younger daughter goes to school, she will make her own independent friends and will be invited to parties for kids her own age.

What my mom did, is drop my older sis off at the party, then took me out for pizza or ice cream or something so I didn't feel left out. Don't mention it to the other mom at all, she hasn't done anything wrong. Jut say, "Kelly, you are going to Mary's 8th birthday party with other girls form school on x date. And Jane, we will go out for ice cream before we pick Kelly up."

It looks like you've already gotten all of the answers I was about to give. Just let your younger daughter know that these things happen sometimes, not everything in life is fair or makes sense all the time, then maybe take her for a fun afternoon outing while her older sister is at the party!

I have friends who have four plus children...there may be one that is close in age to my child and we have play dates and everyone comes and everyone plays.

However, if I had to invite every sibling of every friend to birthday parties it would get out of hand.

AND if you invite one set of siblings you have to invite everyone's siblings...around our parts that is a lot of siblings.

So if Jane is invited how many other kids there would be to go home to tell their mom or siblings that Kelly's sister was invited, but she didn't invite my sister/brother.

it is a slippery slope...I have a girlfriend with twin boys and sometimes one gets invited to a party and the other does not...they are in different classes...the do not always go to every event just the ones they are invited to...

This is most likely about containing the number og guests for the home party. The other kids may have sibs that will expect to be included if she sets that precedent with Jane, right?
This is Ann's birthday. She probably wants friends her age. She doesn't want to be the big sister all day, to her own sibling and others as well. I think Mary is respecting the boundaries for her older child's party. Explain to Jane that this party is for the "big girls" and maybe take Jane out with you for the day--errands, stop & get some frozen yogurt or something.

i think maybe it was a numbers thing like you can have 6 girls, pick which ones. If you're really close why not J. say hey, I don't mind one of them going without the other but can I ask why? Does Ann not enjoy being around Jane so much b/c if so we should arrange some playdates where they can hang out alone without Jane or is it a numbers thing?

So very sad for your little one but it doesn't have to be devastating. Into every life comes some disappointment. Instead of staying for the party. I would drop off the 7 year old and then take the 5 year old to some place super fun like a museum, movie, zoo or have a play date for her with her 5 year old friends.

I understand where your feelings are coming into play because you expected both girls to get the invite but try to think of it differently.

As many moms have said, life comes with some disappointment it is how you choose to handle it that separates the well adjusted from the slightly strange. This definitely qualifies for one of those teachable moments for you and your girls make the most of it. Keep us posted.

My daughter is 8 and doesn't like big parties. Last year she only wanted 3 girls over and this year she's only inviting 6. Maybe there's a reason that Mary only wants Kelly to come to the party.

I'd just let your younger daughter know that you'll be doing something special with her while your daughter attends the party. She might feel left out but will probably love the 1:1 time.

That's the way it is sometimes.
When Kelly is at the party, go do something special with Jane.
Go see a movie, or spend some time at Chuck E Cheese.
Same thing if/when Jane gets an invite and Kelly is not included.
Or - you could say Kelly is busy can can't make it to the party and then go do something else with both the girls.

You said it's an "older girls party" but then you contradicted yourself that there will be younger girls there too. So which is it?

Personally I would let the older child go WITH the hopes that it wasn't being done just to be mean.

Otherwise you can simply say to Mary, "Jane is hurt that she wasn't invited, did something happen that I should know about?"

Hmm...while I admit it is odd that she is not inviting your youngest. I'm guessing she has some reason. And even though its a home party she might have put a limit on the amount of kids wanted there. I would be shocked if my daughters friend whose family I've became close with didn't invite my youngest and I might be a little hurt too.

But....I guess I would just take the opportunity for your daughter to have some alone time with friends her age. All kids need that.

The same thing happened with my children. It just happens as they get older. I wouldn't worry about it, and I wouldn't blame your friend. I'm sure it was her daughter's choice who to invite.

I'd discuss the situation with your daughter and let her make the decision herself (with your guidance, of course).

I'm sure that the birthday girl feels closer to your daughter since they are the same age. To a 7 year old, a 5 year old Kindergartener might be too much of a "baby" to have at her party. It might be embarrassing for her.

On the day of the party, take the chace to do something one-on-one with your 5 year old - go to a movie or lunch just the two of you!

In the real world, you do not always get included in everything. Maybe the
birthday girl does not want the younger one tagging along on her special
day. She has every right to feel that way. Your younger one will learn a
valuable lesson of life. My kids were all a year apart and I never expected
my friends to invite the siblings because we are friends. Kids never had a
problem with not being invited. I had four kids 5,4,3,2,..
Each one had their own friends but also played as a group. That did not mean that everyone went to every party.

My ex-husband is an identical twin....even they were not a package deal.

you say they play together all the time... but is that your choice or theirs? do you ever give the older girls a chance to play without Jane? It maybe that they play with jane to be nice when you are all together but really Ann conisders Kelly her friend
As other pointed out fair is not always equal. Jane will take your lead in this... if you act like it was a slight... she will see it that way.

Kids get to a point where they invite their same aged friends to their parties. Your friend is not obligated to invite your younger daughter, and you will need to tell her that it's for the same aged friends only. There are costs involved in at-home parties, too.
I know that you are thinking, what difference does one more make? But you are thinking only of yourself. What if the birthday girl is inviting 8 friends to her party, and that's what mom can afford. Six of these girls may have siblings between the ages of 5 and 9, and birthday girl's mom may not want that many kids or have a budget to nearly double the amount of kids for pizza, cake, papergoods, crafts, goodie bags/favors or whatever else she is buying for the party. She may not be willing/able to make an exception for one friend's sibling and not others. You should not approach this subject with your friend. She is entitled to invite whomever she wants for her daughter's birthday party. While your younger daughter may adore "Ann," it is possible that Ann views your 5 year old as her friend's little sister.
Good luck

Personally , I would probably not have your daughter go at all. Could you come up with something that you all had to do that day ? If you let this set an example for the future that is how it will always go.If the mom let her daughter decide to leave out your daughter then she is ok with excluding her. Kids need guidance and need to learn how to treat others. If they were all 7 year olds it would be different.This is not a kind thing to do to a friend. I hope it gets better=)

I knew it was getting close to the end of my friendship as it had been with one particular friend when she told me that my granddaughter was not invited to her daughters birthday party. She wanted just her school friends to come. I felt slapped in the face. Who did she think she was to exclude my daughter from the birthday party no matter what the ideal was. It was rude and hurtful to my granddaughter. She still feels bad about it.

I started creating distance between the girls so that I could help my granddaughter start making independent friends away from this family. It was the best thing ever.

My older daughter was not invited to a FAMILY birthday party when my younger one was just this last weekend and I did not think anything of it. They were doing things for the younger age group. So it goes both ways but they do not need to do everything together. It is for that age group, not the other one.

That sucks. I think you should talk to the other mom and explain it how you just did here. I just can't imagine that she would not understand where you are coming from on this. It reallly sounds mean of them.

So, I am just going to be honest with you...This is one of those teachable moments that "not everyone is included in everything." It bothers me with this new generation of thinking that it's unfair to only invite one child and not their siblings. I am sorry but I would be going broke if I invited every child's siblings to parties, gatherings, etc. What is so wrong with inviting a child over to a party or playdate without having to feel guilty for not inviting their siblings?

Unfortunately, no. You should not force an invite or even hint at one. There might be other circumstances at play that you are not aware of or it might just be time for Mary to downsize and get a handle on Bday party expenses and festivities. I am the inclusive mom....all the kids come. But I pay for it in cash and time! I can see the benifits of it. My daughter was recently left out of a party and that child had been to her's. It was tough and she was devastated, but that's the way it is, so we focused on how to go with the flow, control our emotions and accept that we aren't always included. I held her, dried her tears and secretly hoped the whole party would suck. It was REALLY hard not to say something, but no one was mean about it, it just was what it was and the girl and my daughter still play. Girls can be so harsh, and it hurts so much to be excluded. But you can make it teachable if nothing else. Fight the urge to do something special for your uninvited daughter. She has to learn sometime that life isn't fair....just give lots of kisses and explanations if she asks. Ask your older daughter not to rub it in as it hurts her sister. Sorry Mommy, being the reasonable adult sucks. I still make mental faces when I see that kid and her mom!! Good luck.

LOL (: Don’t you LOVE how this is “supposed” to be a site where moms help other moms, but instead it turns into a rude and preachy, criticizing forum!?!? I mean, some of you people w/your tactless words of “advice” (like “Welcome to the real world!” or “You’re gonna have to get a thicker coat of skin!”) are unbelievable!

My Goodness, the woman asked for some “helpful advice”, NOT ridicule and sanctimonious ‘know-it-all’ dictations... Each and every situation is different, no matter what ANY of us have been through individually. Therefore, I think a little helpful feedback is called for when we give our “advice” like A.F. from Houston, or R.D. from Richmond --- VERY nice words ladies!!!

In any case, A.L., I don’t know if what I have to say will be helpful to you or not, but I sure hope so!!! :)

I have a 5yr-old myself, and a niece who is going to be 7 at the end of the month. My daughter IDOLIZES my niece, but I don’t see my niece reciprocating the same emotion. Don’t get me wrong, I believe she loves my daughter, but I think in her mind, there are times she thinks she’s older and can’t really be bothered w/my daughter (the younger, immature kid) and it hurts my daughter.

My daughter will sit there and cry sometimes as my niece is being mean to her, and my niece just looks at her and doesn’t seem to care that my daughter is so upset. And, God forbid if there are other kids around... My niece (and others) can then become very mean! Children can be cruel, especially when you have different age mixtures; someone is always getting their feelings hurt, or even small physical confrontations occur. It’s sad, but true.

Maybe that’s one of the reasons why your youngest daughter was omitted from the invite? She may know & play w/the party girl, but does she know the other ‘older’ kids? Sometimes, parents can see potential conflicts before they actually occur. There may be some older, bratty kids there that the party girl’s parents know would NOT be nice to your daughter. So for that main reason, I wouldn’t want my little one to go to the ‘Big Girl’s’ party.

I’d try and do some of what the others suggest... let your 7yr-old go to the party and you and your 5yr-old can have a special “Mommy & Me” day. That might please the little one even more! (I know my daughter would probably hate not going to the party, but on the flip side, she’d absolutely LOVE a special ‘Mommy & Me’ day.)

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best! It sure is HARD being a MOM isn’t it? Good Luck and best wishes...

I wouldn't approach it with Mary.

Maybe Ann prefers Kelly over Jane. Maybe she feels obligated to play with her during play dates because she's never had a chance to play with your older child alone, and considers Kelly more of a friend. It sounds like them all playing together is just a given/forced thing.

In any event, this is a great opportunity to teach your 5 year old that you don't always get what you want, and how to deal with it. It's also a great time to get some separate friendships going for the 5 year old.

This is going to happen ALOT as the girls get older, you will find that you might actually WELCOME that the invites to your older daughter don't include your younger, things that your then 13-15 yr old will be doing will not be the things you might want your 11-13 yr old doing.

Let the 7 yr old attend & explain to BOTH girls that soon there will be a party that will only be open to younger children in which case your 7 yr old won't be invited. This WILL happen, especially as school begins for the younger girl if she isn't already going.

Oh for the love of PETE! It's a 7-year old's birthday party! Get some perspective. This is not the Treaty of Versailles.

Ann gets to invite who she wants. My kids are 5 and 3 and even they understand that they are not a package deal.