My baby had colic the first three months and she would only stop crying if we held her. Now she is 8months old and she is very hyper. She has to be constantly grabbing things or playing with something. She gets fussy if I get too close and try to play with her sometimes. She won't sit still at all. She creeps on her tummy and does the army crawl to get around but won't crawl with her tummy off the floor. .She can't make sounds like ma or da or anything but mumbles, shrieks, or screams. She won't pay me any attention even when I get in front of her face to talk to her she just looks around me for something to play with. I feel rejected and like she dislikes me or something else is wrong developmental wise. I'm worried that her hyperactive state is not normal. She's been like this since her colic went away. Her hearing has been tested and was normal. I want her to bond with me and pay attention. I've been around other babies who were calm and paid attention to people and their surroundings. I am worried about her not being normal. I've never been able to just hold her and walk around without her reaching or squirming for everything she sees since her colic went away. She won't even be still while she's just being held. I'm always worried she's going hit her head just walking down the hall with her in my arms cause she wiggles so much. I think to myself will I ever be able to just bond with her in my arms knowing she's content just being held! Could this be a sign of ADD or something worse? I've never seen a baby this young as hyper as ours. I thought at this age she want to pay more attention to people and try to talk or crawl. I feel horrible. I hope this is not my fault.
Thank you for all the advice. I know it's too early to tell if there is a real problem or if she's just a extra active baby. I guess I feel bad because I haven't gotten to really bond with her on a affectionate level like holding her close to my heart without her trying to get out of my arms. I know some children don't like to be messed with but I thought all babies liked to be held and loved on. I hope this is just a stage that will pass and when she's old enough to hug and kiss me she'll make up for it. I know it's too early to talk but I've read that babies should be making the ma and da and ba sounds as early as 7 months. I never said she should be saying complete words. I will mention her behavior to her doc without labeling the behavior. Thanks again.
I found this webpage and it looked like it might help - http://www.ehow.com/how_###-###-####_calm-hyperactive-bab... It mentions food coloring, so I want to mention that red food coloring would make my son hyper and I ran into other parents with the same problem. The first time I noticed it was with orange Hi-C. Good luck.
Find a homeopath and get her a remedy. It will be very personal and suit her exactly. Find one who has been in practice at least 10 years and works with children and families.
Go to your pediatrician and make a stand. You need to have some evaluations done, and if her vision has not yet been assessed, I would suggest that. Your gut is telling you that something is going on, and you should trust it. Quit trying to put a name on it. ONLY talk about what you see, do not mention ADD, ADHD, Autism, or any other diagnosis to a doctor, just tell them what you see and why you are worried, and that you do not think that she is behaving and developing in a typical way, and you want to start evaluating, period. The doctors need to hear you, and they will not hear you if you start suggesting a diagnosis, stress the issues, not your fear; let your fear go. Quit calling it hyer, that is a categorical conclusion. Tell the doctors about the squirming, such that she is a danger to herself, tell them that you are not exagerating when you say she NEVER stops this behavior. Tell them that she is not interested in human contact. Do not say that she is not bonding. Be OBJECTIVE about her behaviors, no conclusions, no categories, no "reasons" just exactly what she does. This, they will listen to, and if they seem to be dismissing you, stop them, and say that you know that this is not right, and you want to get to the bottom of it, and if (what ever) doctor is not the right one, then you want a referal today. My geuss is that they will suggest a pediatric neurologist or a Developmental Pedatrician or both, and that is one place to start.
Last...this is not your fault. Stop it. The whole "perfect Mom makes perfect baby, and your baby can read" movement is just a load of guilt ridden garbage. Children are hard wired, you get good prenatal care, you take care of yourself while you are pregnant, you nurture them, you take care of them, you give them good nutrition, you give them modern medical care, you love them, and you enrich their enviornments, and if they get this, they can reach their potential. Unless you have left your baby in a dark room all alone for 20 hours a day after she was born, or you drank and used drugs while you were pregnant, you have done what you needed to do for her. You canot manufacture potential, but you can intervene with more targeted enrichment and interventiion if that is what your baby needs to reach her potential, and not one of us has any control over what the potential is, not with a birth plan, not with organic foods, not with supplements, and not with avoiding toxic lifesaving vaccines. The probelm with the whole idea that we can control every outcome by doing the right thing backfires on every Mom with a child who has an issue, don't buy it, because it is not true. We get what we get, it has always been this way, and it will always be so. You did not do something wrong, not one thing wrong.
Call the doctor. Go in for a complexed appointment so that the doctor has time to talk to you. Take your husband or a firend to keep you on track, and make a list of the objective things that she is doing, then do not leave without a referal.
M.
My daughter was like this and she still is. She just turned 4 and she still doesn't stop. When you wrote you were worried she was going to hit her head walking down the hall it made me think about my daughter. She does it all the time. She is so busy she is always falling or running into things. She has never been a good sleeper and mix that with a busy girl, I want her to wear a helmet. :) If you are really concerned talk to your doctor, but I think our headstrong little girls will make awesome headstrong women.
Try seeing it from another angle:
She reaches for things; she's interested in them. This is how kids learn.
She moves around; she has good and growing motor skills.
She seeks out things to touch and play with; she's exploring her little world.
She's not interested in you as much as you'd like; that's because she knows you're always there for her, and you're a safe, reliable and well-known fixture in her life. She doesn't have to fret that you might disappear, so she looks past you for a toy.
She's not talking; she's only eight months old. My daughter said her first word on her first birthday and hasn't stopped talking since.
Try to find some local moms, maybe a parents-and-infants group through your local hospital, to meet with weekly. You'll see a huge range of behaviors, all normal, and not one baby will spend the whole meeting time gazing lovingly into mom's face, quiet and cooing. A moms' group where you see other babies will really give you a reality check and help you feel better. You're not doing things wrong; you're doing things RIGHT if she is so secure in your presence that she is throwing herself at her world so eagerly.
If you're still worried, definitely see your pediatrician, but please don't go in the door with labels at the ready. ADD, ADHD, hyperactive -- don't label her so soon. She may just be an active, raring-to-go kid. Enjoy her.
.
Ha ha! You had an Aubrey! Lol. My DD was like this from the womb!! And she still is 3 years later. :) I get this comment ALL the time... "Wow! No wonder you're so thin! You have to chase HER around all day!" Now, this was way worse when she was younger, but she's still non-stop at 39 months old. She can converse now and understand consequenses, so she's settled a lot. I'm surprised that we were able to nurse for a year b/c most of the time she was pulling off to check out whatever was going on. She's a sweet, loving, crazy, wild, smart, gifted, talkative little girl and I feel like I am the only person in the universe who could have the patience to handle her 24/7, but that's what makes us so special!
I hate to say this, but try tv. This the ONLY way that I could get her to settle down at that age. She started watching Barney at 10/11 months old and I feel so blessed to have tv! Lol. No one understands how exhausting kids like this can be so some don't get the need for "babysitters". Ignore those people if you have to. Have fun with your crazy kid! :)
IF you are truely worried contact your local Early Intervention Offices
here is their website:
http://www.state.tn.us/education/teis/index.shtml
Write down your concerns and talk to your pedi. She sounds like an active and curious baby but you'll feel better knowing what the range of "normal" is.
See if you can find the book "what to expect the first year" to get an idea of developmental changes as well. She is bonded to you - being "content" to just be held has nothing to do with that - some babies just don't like to be held - they'd rather be investigating the world; she is too young to "pay attention" - she's in explorer mode; hold her so she can look outward when you walk - some babies just like that better than being held facing the "holder". My son liked to scoot on his back rather than crawl for the longest time - she'll lift up when she's ready - it's early yet.
You may also want to talk to YOUR doctor as well - you may have gotten a bit depressed from the stress of dealing with the colic. You're taking her behaviour personally and that's not healthy for YOU. Take care of yourself as much as you take care of your little one.
be thankful that she's active & enjoying her surroundings - in her own way, which may never be yours! That she's not developmentally delayed.....& quite capable of achieving what she deems is her goal - without actually crawling! Some kids never crawl, & exclusively use the army scoot.
& the flipside of this whole equation could be a child who whines, screams, & cries because you are not holding her........So, please be thankful!
Not all babies like to be held....my younger son did not. He preferred being on the move & exploring his world. & I guess I truly don't get "why" you think she has to be still in order for you to bond together! Do you hold her & rock her to sleep? Do you try to read books to her?
& as for the not talking, OMGosh....she's only 8 months old. She is verbally expressing herself exactly as she should! By 1 year, you will begin to hear the "ma" "da" sounds. If you're not hearing it by 15 months, then I would speak with the dr.
To get a better feel for developmental expectations, please contact your local school district & ask about Early Childhood info. Perhaps your district participates in Parents as 1st Teachers.....they have excellent resources. Your dr also should offer guidelines for developmental milestones.
Do your homework, get a better feel on where she should be developmentally, & please rejoice in your daughter.....she sounds wonderful!
She is too young to be diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) not ADD. I have a son who has ADHD, and they said that they can't diagnose till school age. You need to talk to your Pediatrician about not saying words, not paying attention to you and her constant activity. Each child develops at different stages so she may just be a little delayed or just normal, but this doesn't mean ADHD. My son when he was that age, he was active crawling around, but he would pay attention to me and he talked (like mama, daddy, etc). He is now 24 year old, is engaged and just became a father a few days ago and has a great job. ADHD is not that bad.
Calm down. The worst thing you can do is worry. Our anxiety transfer to our kids.
Your daughter sounds normal to me. My daughter never had the time of day for me. My son, sometimes,but as soon as he could crawl (5 months), he was off. Nursing was/is the only time he will be close to me.
I would say talk to her ped if you are extremely concerned but I think alot of what you have mentioned is normal. My daughter just turned a year and she is a little busy bee. She army crawled until she was about 11 months and finally figured out how to hold her weight up. She is very independent and doesn't want to be held much nor does she want to sit still much either. She doesn't really play with toys, she's at the stage where she wants to stand holding on to something all the time or crawl after her brother. You may just have a very independent baby on your hands! Mother and daughter will always have a bond even if you don't see it yet!
Please talk to your pediatrician. I don't think any one of us would be doing a service if we told you, yes, everything is fine or, no, it is not. No reputable doctor would EVER diagnose an infant with ADD/ADHD. I can't remember the age off the top of my head, but it is not even diagnosable until something like 5-6.
With that said, SOME of what you are writing about sounds very normal. Most 8 month olds cannot speak. I have never heard my 13mo say mama or dada, but I know she knows more and I am not worried in the slightest. I assume you want her to have self confidence-- she's at that magical age when she is exploring her world a little, but before she learns fear and separation. Some babies never crawl. It is perfectly normal.
You didnt say anything about her eating habits. Is she BF or Formula? Is she on soilds?
It sounds to me like she is just enjoying her surroundings and that is a great thing. Every baby is different so you really can't compare and this isnt far to you or her. Just calm down and enjoy the fact that she loves her toys.
How is your daughter now. My daughter sounds just like your daughter (when you posted in 2011). I feel rejected at times :(
the colic has nothing to do with it. she got rid of it and around the time she did she was doing the wiggles. THIS IS NORMAL!!! i would be worried if she didnt try to grab things or wiggle. shes 8 months old theirs no way to tell if she has add relax shes fine!
Updated
the colic has nothing to do with it. she got rid of it and around the time she did she was doing the wiggles. THIS IS NORMAL!!! i would be worried if she didnt try to grab things or wiggle. shes 8 months old theirs no way to tell if she has add relax shes fine!
Updated
the colic has nothing to do with it. she got rid of it and around the time she did she was doing the wiggles. THIS IS NORMAL!!! i would be worried if she didnt try to grab things or wiggle. shes 8 months old theirs no way to tell if she has add relax shes fine!
