Won't Use Her Words

Updated on May 28, 2009
J.G. asks from Salt Lake City, UT
5 answers

My 19 mo old little girl is very intelligent, she understands nearly everything we say, and can complete several tasks in order that we ask her to do them (ie please throw away the wrapper, and bring me a diaper and your shoes) But she won't talk. It's not that she can't, if she feels strongly or is excited about something she will use words- please, pretty flower, Elmo, banana, hot dog.... Oddly she has never said 'no'. But she will only say things 2-3 times a day.

If we ask her to use her words, she acts like the world is ending and drops to the floor and crys (starting softly but increasing volume) for up to 30 min or until someone picks her up and walks around looking for what she is asking for.

At her last check-up (a month ago) I brought it up with her pediatrician, and she went over an autism check list, but not talking is the only warning sign that she had. She seemed relatively unconcerned, but did mention speach therapy if things don't improve.

I'm concerned about a developmental delay, as well as not being able to interact with other kids- and the cost of speach therapy. How do I increase her vocabulary useage? I think that possibly spending more time with other children would help, but few of our friends have children, and those that do either live some distance away, or their kids are old enough to babysit for us.

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A.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I would definitely use some sign language- check out Signing Time- it's great for kids! My son loved it, and that way he could communicate what he wanted or needed very early on. Also, if it does come to speech therapy school districts cover the cost because they need kids to be able to communicate before they come to school- so check your school district out before shelling out any money! :) good luck, and I agree with not worrying until she's two...she may just not want to talk much right now.

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My third son vocalized even more rarely at this age. He was never a babbler as a baby and just didn't seem to feel the need to express himself vocally. We had to figure out his body language for quite awhile. When he turned two, he started to vocalize more and is now talking in complete sentences. There wasn't a developmental delay, he just chose not to talk. I wouldn't worry about it until she's two. Keep an eye on the other signs of autism and watch for them, but she will probably choose to start talking regularly when she's ready.

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Language acquisition goes in a very specific order. Kids (or even adults learning a second language) can understand the language quite a bit before they can produce (speak) it. So it's not uncommon for her to understand a lot but only speak a few words at a time. Especially at 19 months - most kids are still only putting a few words together at a time at that age.

Keep talking to her. Help her use words - give her the words. When she communicates in a way other than words (teaching her a few ASL signs like someone else suggested isn't a bad idea), accept her communication. Don't make her use a word before you give her what she wants. But give her the words too. "Oh, you want your Elmo. Here's Elmo" for example. The more you model the more she is learning. There's a good chance that she gets frustrated and can't come up with the words to use (again, normal for this age) and you are helping her by saying the words as you give her what she's asking for.
Talk to her all day long. Tell her what you are doing, ask her questions and wait for her to answer (but don't be unhappy when she doesn't), let her hear you talk to other people. Avoid baby talk. She may still say 'baba' for bottle or 'Emmo' for Elmo, but that's because she's still learning to coordinate her mouth to say things. You say the words the right way (and encourage other adults to do the same) so that she hears them the right way.
One day soon, she's going to start talking and surprise you with all she can say.

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R.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hello J.: My oldest Son (now 9yrs old) had a similar delay when he was about 2 yrs old. I found that by reading to him out loud and asking questions about the book helped him to get acustomed to using words to communicate. Especially books with repeatinf phrases, things he could remember and could chime in when the line came in the book. Sign language was another helpful tool. I taught him and the spoken word,He began to say the words as he used the signs. At first I only taught him a few basic signs like mom,dad,milk,apple,potty, eat,sleep and of course his favorite animals. Later he asked to learn more. We use signs with his 2 younger sister still. Interaction with other children, often those that may be a bit older, so she will see that using words is necessary. My son started spending a lot of time with his cousins that were all anywhere from 2to 5 years older than him. As he saw them play and interact, he wanted to participate and in order to do that he had to use his words. Any kind of role playing you can do like pretend talking on the phone with her, reading, playing grocery store to help boost her use of words is helpful and fun at the same time for her. That's all the speech therapist will try with them at this young age any. Our Pediatrician was not too concerned either. These are just a few things that we tried and seemed to work. I hope it's helpful. Best of luck.

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K.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Great responses so far! My son didn't use many words until about age 2 1/2, but I knew he could talk. His personality is such that I knew he wanted to practice in private and feel more confident before he shared his skills with the rest of the world. Now he's 3 1/2 and sometimes we have to have designated "quiet time" because he won't stop talking long enough to eat his meal or complete a task. If your daughter is meeting all the rest of her developmental milestones and she is clearly developing language skills, don't worry yourself too much. I also used minimal sign language from early on with my son.

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