What to Do If My Son Refuses to Eat What I Made for Him???

Updated on April 23, 2008
J.B. asks from Pueblo, CO
11 answers

I have a 13 month old son who tends to reject what I've made him for dinner. Often I make him multiple meals before I get something that he will eat. One day he will eat what I made for him first, a few days later or a week later, he wants nothing to do with it. My husband and FIL say not to give him another option, just have him eat what's served the first time and if he refuses, get him out of his high chair and wait until the next meal. Sometimes that can be breakfast and I have a hard time dealing with the fact that he could go to be hungry. Should I do that or just offer him something different? I just think that he's awfully young to start the going to bed hungry thing if he doesn't want what's served.

Any insight or helpful suggestions?

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W.P.

answers from Dallas on

I have done the same thing with my boys and I wish I had put my foot down sooner. My boys are now 6 and 2, both very close to a birthday actually. Some nights I find myself making a different meal for everyone in the house! You would think the world was coming to an end when I try to make one meal for all of us. Stop doing it NOW. The temper tantrum of a one year old is easier to handle than that of an older child. Trust me. If I could go back in time and give myself warning, I would.

My sister is a pediatrician and would give her daughter Pedialyte when she wouldn't eat at that age. My niece just refused to eat at all back then. If she did eat it was one or two bites tops. She would buy the chocolate flavor, warm it up a bit, and present it as hot cocoa for breakfast. My niece is now 8 and still doesn't eat much, but she does eat what her parents eat.

Remember you are not alone. Good Luck, to both of us.

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H.L.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with your husband & FIL. My kiddos either eat what is fixed, or not eat. If they choose not to eat, then they do not get snacks. Your son will learn to eat what is offered. Also remember that as they go thru growing stages, they will sometimes seem to not eat for days; then suddenly eat everything in sight for days! Everything that I've read about little one's eating says to not look at what they eat on a daily basis. Rather, look at what they eat over a week's time, since they can be such sporadic eaters.

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

I think your husband and FIL are on the right track. I know it's hard, but he will eat when he's hungry.

I always catered to my kid's desires, and now I'm regretting it (they are 6 & 3). It is much harder to break your child of the "restaurant" mentality early on. He will not "go hungry", nor will it hurt him to eat lightly (or not at all) on a meal or two. Trust me, he will make it up at the next one.

One more tip. Cut out all snacks a couple of hours before dinner to make him more hungry for meals. That way he's less likely to be picky. With my older son, this meant cutting milk out until he ate b/c he would just drink his dinner and skip the food!!

I know it's hard, but don't start any habits now that you don't want to break later. It does get harder to change them when they are older!!

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J.J.

answers from Dallas on

If I offer something that is new or that I think my son may truly not like then I offer a second choice. However if he is rejecting something that I know he likes then that's too bad. For example, my son doesn't like beef, so if we are eating hamburger that day, I still offer him some (since you never know whne they'll try it), but if he rejects it I'll give him a gerber meal or something easy that I know he likes. If he rejects that or something else he usually likes, he obviously isn't that hungry.

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with most everyone else. You job is his mother, not a chef or a short order cook. he is old enough to be eating table food.
don't give in or you will regret it with other issues and he will learn how to manipulate you and play on your feelings, and make you feel guilty for doing what is right. i would also cut back on the milk and offer water some, it might fill him up, but it shouldn't make him totally not hungry.
my kids are older, now, but i never catered to their eating pickiness. they eat what i serve, even if they don't like it they still have to eat a scoop. like their vegetables. or i will make two veggies and they have to eat one, or they can substitute a salad. if they only eat a little, they don't like it or they aren't that hungry, then they have the option of snacking later, but they have to make it and it has to be healthy, like yogurt, fruit, V-8 juice. but again mine are 13,11,8. and they know i am not a short order cook.
nip it in the bud now.
good luck,
L.

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J.Y.

answers from Dallas on

I completely agree with what you've already heard - he'll eat when he's hungry, and you should not be short-order cook. I heard something long ago that I swear by, "If it won't be cute at 12, it's not cute at 2." So we don't let our kids do anything now that we don't want them to do later!

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

He's training you at this point. Just fix the family meal...if he doesn't eat, take him out of his chair. He will not starve himself even though it's killing you on the inside. It's behavior at this point. Good luck!!

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

You've gotten some good advice.

He eats what is served with dinner. Getting into the habit of cooking several options for dinner is exhausting and expensive - you're not a restaurant.

I would just suggest that with each meal, make sure there is at least one offering of something he likes. When he gets older, you should make it a rule to have him at least try everything on his plate, he'll never know until he tries.

Good luck! And know that children listen to their bodies better than we do...they'll eat when they are hungry!

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

I don't believe in forcing kids to eat foods they truly don't like. But I also don't believe in letting them be picky just for the fun of it. My rule is the kids have to try everything once. If they don't like it, they don't have to eat it, but they have to give it a fighting chance. And if they don't like something, I'll still ask them to try it again every once in awhile or if I fix it a different way, because their tastes change often.

My girls are now 7 and 10 and both eat a well-rounded diet that includes plenty of veggies & salad. One loves spinach, the other gags at the thought. One loves tomatoes, the other will spend 20 minutes picking each little chunk out of her spaghetti sauce.

But if it's something you know he's eaten and liked before and he's just being testy, then there is nothing wrong with sending him to bed without dinner. My youngest daughter eats in spurts. She used to go for days without eating hardly anything and then she would go through a growth spurt and eat everything in sight. She just doesn't eat as much as her sister. And I still have to fight with her to eat something for breakfast everyday or she'll skip it.

I agree with what most of the moms on here have said. If you start now catering to his every whim, you'll never have a moments peace till you're old and gray!

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

I have noticed that my kids really only need one GOOD meal and the rest of the time they may eat well and may not...I do not stress about it...as long as he is playing and acting normal he is fine. He is at the age when you will not eat as much all the time and he will become more picky...if you cater to that now, oh boy!!!

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C.F.

answers from Dallas on

I don't force my kids to eat unless until they ask for food. And usually I can get a good feel as to when they are hungry. Through the years I have found that there are certain foods that they like and not like. My husband and I eat totally different from what my kids eat. I know a lot of people might think this is bad. As a child I never ate vegetables and I was very picky. I grew up with better health that most of my friends that did eat those things and that where forced to eat. I never had weight or health problems. Until I entered my 20's I started eating vegetables, now I can't live without them. I think most people, including "experts" exaggerate on how and what a kid is supposed to eat.

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