Trying to Decide Whether to Relocate to Another City or Not with Two Teenagers

Hi J.,

Teenagers seldom want to move even if it's for their own good. In this age of computers, they don't have to lose touch with their old friends. If you think it would be best for your family to relocate, then you are the adult and have to do what is in thier best interest. We moved from another state when I was younger and I go back "home" and can't imagine having stayed there. We are so much better off than our old friends.

Good luck!!

Well first of all why are you relocating? If for Family or for Employeement you should consider her feelings but she will make other friends But she needs to understand the resoning behind the decision to relocate too.
J.

I just relocated myself from a city to a very small town. My daughter didn't want to leave her friends. We have lived in the same place for 14 years and she is 15 so she doesn't know any other home. She was upset for a while, but I assured her she could still talk to her old friends thru email and phone and we would visit once in a while. It has been 4 months now and she has make friends here, even tho it was tough at first. She was labeled the new girl at school so everyone knew who she was and wanted to get to know the new girl, which made her feel important! She was really scared about moving during the school year, but it worked out really good.

Hi J.,
In my experience, sometimes the parent is the one with the "executive" decsion. For instance, my daughter was not sure if she wanted to be homeschooled, she was really on the fence. One day feeling yes, one day, no. Eventually, circumstances happened that led me to making the decsion for her. She was on the verge on anorexia due to the pressures of school life. Even though she did not want to be apart from all her friends, her life was more important. I explained to her that if they are truly her friends, she will keep in contact with them and see them outside of school. Same thing foryour daughter. She can keep contact with them, and make plans for summer visits perhaps. As adults, we have to do this as well. We leave friends behind in our 'adventrues' through life. We have to figure out ways to maintain those friendships we treasure. The purpose of parenting is to prepare our children for the 'real world' or rather, adulthood. What a great learning opportunity for her in this circumstance!! It becomes what you make of it. Good luck in your decision making.

Does your daughter have a close friend that she could stay with to finish out the school year? maybe allowing her to finish 10th grad might ease the stress of it all. We are in the Navy and my daughter is ready to leave every 3 years....and she's 16 now. Every new road leads to new friends and new experiences.....change is always good. Choose where you move by excellent schools! Best of luck. T.

My husband and I moved here three years ago and we have three boys, one who was 15 at the time. He hated it when we first moved here but now he has a lot of friends and doesn't even go visit his biological family (in Indiana) much at all. His GPA before we moved was bad but now he has been on the honor roll for the last three semesters. You need to do what is best for you and the family..your daughter will adapt.

We just moved 6 months ago, my 15 year old daughter wanted to move, so there wasn't a problem there, but she went from a straight A student to almost failing everything. All the attention of being the new girl and all the new selection of boys to chose from has made all her grades drop. When we moved I went to the school and I thought that it was a very good school and it still is but there was one thing wrong, we moved from a small town and the school there is so much behind the new school here. I was told by three teachers here that they didn't know where she went to school at before but it wasn't a very good school. I was shocked, we didn't even move out of the same state. So, these are a few things that you really need to keep in mind. I'm glad that we moved but very upset about my daughter's school problems! I hope this helps you.

Hey J.,

I was moved to NC my junior year of high school. At first I was excited, new start all that, then I really missed my friends. Because I didn't have tons of friends up here I did amazing in school, I brought by GPA up so much. A few years after we moved, I went back to my old hometown to visit and couldn't believe how different it was! This may sound harsh and I could be the only one that this is the case with but I don't even speak to the people I went to HS anymore. You go to college, make new friends and grow apart. I think you need to do what is best for you guys.