Travel W/o Breastfed 8 Month Old

Updated on May 02, 2012
B.H. asks from Marion, KY
14 answers

Hello I'm a FTM and my husband wants to go on an 8 day overseas trip. I'm very hesitant to go because she's still breastfed and her caregiver will be my mom and she's only seen her a couple of times because we live on opposite coasts (my husband is in the service). She's going through major separation anxiety issues right now as well. My husband had me travel with him for 4 days when she was 4 months old and of course she was wonderful for my parents because she mainly ate, slept and pooped and played some. My husband's trip is refundable and as much as I'd love to go (it's to Australia and Thailand) I don't want our daughter to scream and cry the whole time we are gone. I asked my husband if we could just go to one destination for 4 days again, but he's adamant about going to both because he's not sure if he will be going on deployment when we go to our next station. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm not sure if I should go and have to pump the whole time or try to convince my husband to reschedule until she's weaned or take a family trip. I know I'll kick myself if I don't go, but I know I'll miss her and worry about how she's doing each day. Thanks!

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I couldn't imagine leaving my 8 month-old baby. I wouldn't go. I wasn't away from my baby for one night until she was 14 months old and weaned. But even if I wasn't breastfeeding, I couldn't leave a baby that young.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

I never left my kids when I was nursing. It is a short time in your life whenyou have young kids so dependent on you. I was happy to give up some freedoms to be with my kids when they were babies.. they grow up so fast..

an 8 month old will be quite upset without her mom, and without nursing for a week.. I am not sure you could maintain your milk supply while you are gone, or whether she would go back to nursing when you return.. why not wait a while and do the trip later.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.Z.

answers from Toledo on

You need to go. I know exactly how you feel, but you need to go. I had to go on a business trip to Switzerland when my baby was 9 months and she was fine. I hated going, but once I got there and realized she was perfectly fine with my in-laws, it was fine. The worst part of the whole trip was realizing how unimportant it was for her. I think I had convinced myself that no one else could possibly handle her separation anxiety. She was so over it after a few minutes:-) Also, once you get past the first day, you don't have to worry about it. The whole argument of only going for 4 days is not really valid. Once 4 days are over, you might as well stay for another week. Believe me, the baby will not care as long as your mother is a great caregiver. Also, it is a tremendous opportunity for her grammy to be able to spend that time with her.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

as long as she can take a bottle she will be just fine. In fact, it will help her learn that her parents can go, and that they will return so there is nothing to fear. Go, have a good time, and come back recharged and ready to be super mom!

3 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

She'll be fine. You can pump some extra and save the frozen milk for your MIL - so that's solved.

Only thing left is separation anxiety, and I think you have it worse than she will. :)

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I breastfed both my kids exclusively.
My Husband was proud of me, because he knew it was not easy work. He even bragged to his friends that our kids self-weaned.

If that were me, I would not go on an 8 day trip without baby, and if I was nursing. That is me.
That is my answer.
My own Husband would not expect me, to stop nursing, for 8 days, without the baby, and guess as to if that would affect my milk production.

And per pumping, I did that with my firstborn. But even if I had a lot of milk per nursing, I was not able to pump, that much. Hence, "stored" breastmilk, was not in great quantity in our freezer. AND... my firstborn, WOULD NOT WOULD NOT, take any bottles. Even if I tried MANY types and brands.

Next: you do not know if your baby will take bottles.

I also Ditto AV, below.

Some men, have no idea about breastfeeding, and baby and pumping and how it may affect your breastmilk production.

AND... say if you do go on this 8 day trip without baby... you MIGHT come home to a baby, who is weaned. And will have stopped nursing from you. Or will only drink from a bottle. Do you want that? Does your Husband?
My breastfed son... whom I breastfed but he also took a bottle... after a time, he would ONLY want a bottle. Because nursing from me, is harder work. Bottles are easier to drink from.

Some men, sort of 'resent' breastfeeding... because it takes a lot of time, and attention... away from them.

Next: you need to know within yourself, how you feel about breastfeeding and per how long you had hope to breastfeed.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would not leave an 8 month old for that long. Why not take her with you?

2 moms found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from Cleveland on

why not take her? if there is enough time for her to get a passport (if she doesnt already have one) and for her to get her shots GO for it.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think you and your DH need to keep talking. If she is not weaned, then pump and freeze the milk and make sure you have a really good cooler. You may also have to pump at weird hours of the night to make sure you have enough to leave for the trip. I suspect that your DH isn't thinking about the logistics of travel without baby for a nursing mother. If you do not think it is the right time for you and the child, then it's just not the right time. Keep talking to him. I understand he wants to travel as much as he can but if you spend the whole time pumping or worrying, it won't be much fun, either.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.B.

answers from Columbus on

I have 3 children, all breastfed exclusively (one until 10 months - weaned himself, one until 16 months - i weaned, and my third is 6 months old and I plan to BF for as long as she wants....i'd like to make it to 2 years). That being said, you need to consider your goals with this child. If breastfeeding is a priority for you, then I would NOT go. Go sometime when the baby can take breast milk from a sippy cup. You don't get this time with your infants back. You can always take trips later.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I would go on the trip. Pump while you're gone so that you don't lose the milk. Your baby will adjust OK. Babies cry or make a fuss when someone leaves but once that person is gone they settle back down into a routine. It's only for a week. She will be OK.

I would prefer to take the baby with me, tho. Is that not an option?

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J.L.

answers from St. Cloud on

I'd refuse to leave my 8 month old for that long. You're stronger than I to leave her for 4 days even. She's only going to be this age and breastfeeding for a limited time. Honestly, 8 days may be enough for her to refuse nursing when you get back. Screw the boob when the bottle is easier! Plus, if your mom saw her much more often that would help, but it would be a scary experience for your daughter and hard for your mom at first too. I think you offering 4 days is more than a compromise. It would be hard to pump as often as you nurse so your supply would probably suffer. Plus you'd have to find a way to freeze the milk. I think there are way more cons than pros in this situation. Your husband needs to be the father and say, it is better for my daughter if we do a family trip together.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

You have to go you said "my husband is in the service". This could be the difference in promotions and advancement. Traveling and military familes is a different horse from the civilian world.

It doesn't sound like the travel time can be changed and the tickets may have been booked which would take an Act of Congress to change.

I would begin to pump and freeze milk now and have a supply for grandma and go. Yes you will really kick your self for not going as it may never come again. You have to learn that your child will be safe without you and you can enjoy a part of life as an adult instead of being completely tied down. Let go of the guilt. Motherhood is only a small part of who you are. Think of the separation as a nursing strike brought on by the child and that you will work on it when you get back.

Life is too short. Baby won't remember the separation so don't focus on it.

Take many pictures of your journey and put them in your book.

The other S.
Retired Military Wife

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M.B.

answers from Lafayette on

You should go. You can pump and your baby will be fine. I did this with one of my kids -- she & I both were fine. But you need to be able to enjoy the time with your husband -- not constantly being worried about your daughter. Can you do that? You need to decide if you can, then talk to your husband. Share your thoughts & fears & seek his support. Your daughter will be fine, no matter what you decide.

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