Toys - Columbia, MD

My two and a half year old started that and I threatened to throw them away. She still didn't listened, so I threw one away (it was actually an old bubble bath container that she plays with in the tub, but she still liked to play with it), from that point forward, only if she was giving me a really hard time I would threaten to throw her toys away & I would pick up one of her favorites, this usually works. Two times I have gotten out the trash bag and started throwing little happy meals toys. It gets her cleaning really quick. Good luck!

My kids are 7, 4, and almost 3. I have found that a five-minute timer with my three kids helps. It's not too long a time, and I can usually help without doing everything myself. I try to give them each a specific task. Just saying clean up your room overwhelms them and they just sit and continue to play. The 7 and 4yr olds get: put the dress ups away, or put your dolls in your drawer. The 2.5 yr old gets: Where does (this toy) go? He usually only puts 3-4 toys away, but that's 3-4 that I don't have to do for him. Also, a lot of people have had luck with The House Fairy, an online service at www.HouseFairy.org. The best thing to remember is that if it isn't fun, it isn't going to get done! Find things that can get tossed into a drawer or bucket, or make a relay to the bin if there are a bunch of Little People. It's also been really helpful for me to join in, because I think otherwise they get the attitude of, She's not helping me, so why should I do it? I figure that 5 minutes gives me more floor space and more sanity, so it's worth helping them learn this task. Later on (with the little ones) I can start sitting out and "weaning them" off Mom's help. Good luck!

first of all, GOOD LUCK!! My girls are the same age apart, only now they are 3 and 5... same situation, the older one is my good helper, and the younger one sits back and lets her sis do all the work. sometimes, i will let the 5 year old clean up part of it, and remove her from the room and tell the 3 year old, tough love kid, YOU clean up the rest! it takes a lot of time and tears and patience (on all parts, my 5 year old hates when her sister is upset!) but it gets the job done. after about a year of sticking to my guns, when its time to clean up, they BOTH get to work and do it together. it also helps if you keep an eye on the mess and never let it build up too much. sometimes the girls get overwhelmed by the size of the mess theyve created. i'm a single mommy, i barely have time to work and clean up my own stuff let alone theirs! GOOD LUCK! stick with it, it WILL work! ~R.

forgot to mention, if the stuff doesnt get cleaned up in a timely manner, i 'threw it out' (whatever was left on the floor)... they learned quickly. granted, when they were at preschool or sleeping, i always snuck the stuff back in after a week or so, but it worked ;)

Hi C.,

Cleaning up is no child's favorite thing to do but maybe if it were made fun then they would be more willing to do it. Since there are two little ones maybe you could make it a game. They could see who picks up the most toys in a certain amount of time. Then you announce the winner and say that you will do it again to see if the other can win next time. When I ask my 4yr old son to clean I will say that he cleans half and I'll clean half and whoever cleans the best/fastest will get a treat. Or I'll say that I would love to get a clean-up surprise and that I will look only when he says that he's ready. I keep asking with excitement every minute or so if I can look yet and he usually cleans quickly and happily has me come in (eyes closed) and TADA it's clean! (at least mostly clean, lol!) Good Luck!

Have a contest with a timer - and assign them each a toy location and set the timer to see how many toys each one can put away before it goes off.

Or, see who can put away 10 toys the fastest, and time it with a watch to make it exciting.

Then, if need be, have a rematch, and have them do it again to see if the new one can win, or the same one can win again!
Cleaning up can be overwhelming, but this way it seems like a game, and seems manageable, since they only have to pick up 10 things.

Have a clean up song- a specific, jazzy, upbeat song that you play every time it's clean up time. If the girls both clean up by the time the song is over, they get a sticker! It helps if you clean with them the first few times. Make it consistent and you won't even have to nag them about it any more. Clean up song means clean up time :)

Hi C.,

I have 2 little ones, and have mixed reactions to the clean-up song, clean-up games, and just plain old "come on girls its time to clean up and go night-night." I'm a little OCD myself, so can't let it go all day, and won't allow them to go to bed and leave their mess. If they won't play the game, or clean when asked, then I get tough. The final step is "Mommy will clean your mess up for you, but you don't get to hang around and play while I do it. You can sit in time out and think about who made the mess and who should be picking it up." Amazingly, 5 out of 6 times, that will change their minds about helping me...They did need to sit in time out a few times at first to see that I really did mean that they needed to stay there as long as it took me to clean up their mess. Now my 3 year olds butt just hits the chair, before she decides to help, and her sister watches for a min or two before getting up. Have fun, and just remember that no one method works on the same kids all the time. Keep the expectations the same, even if the methods change, and they will learn to be civilized little people (I hope). <g>

S.

Hi C.! I love to share a book I found that has worked great for us. It's called, Making Your Children Mind Without Losing Yours, by Dr. Kevin Leman. He is wonderful! He teaches us parents why rewards & punishments do not work. He shows us what he calls reality discipline. It works! What you say is what they get. Just like with us, there are consequences for our actions. Same with our little ones. If you tell them it's time to clean up, and they don't (with help and encouragement do to their ages) then they don't play with them. You can put them up in a box in the closet for another day or not let them in that room. I know it's a lot of work sometimes to train up our children. So put your strength cap on and don't ever say something that you don't plan to back up all the way to the end. You consistency is key to their success. When our children don't mind us or misbehave, look at it as a question they are asking you, "Mommy, do you love me enough to make me do it right?" They want to know that we really do love them enough to do what we tell them we are going to do.

Sounds to me like you are a great mom C.! Keep up the good work and be sure to love, love, love on those little ladies every chance you get. They'll be driving and dating before you know it! LOL

Take Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 13, 8 & 2 yrs old and married to my Mr. Wonderful for almost 15yrs. I love to help other moms, who want to become SAHMs, reach that goal!

Well first off i would get an easy to use system with pictures on the places things go. My daughter who is 6yrs old puts her toys away most the time. I have a tub system with a shelf system. The bigger toys like little people houses go on the shelves while the people go in a bag on the bottom. (diaper bag) I also have a toy box with 6 tubs on top. The tubs are labeled and her dress up clothes go in the toy box. Ponies go in a tub, doll accessories (small ones) go in a tub and i have an extra box about 1 foot tall for doll clothes. Everything has a place. If there is no place there is no reason to have it. Label everything with a little picture. Her drawers have pictures i have drawn of what goes in that drawer. Panties and socks in top. PJ's in the next one and so one down. If you have them labeled next i would dictate. It sounds mean but i go in and say on "First i want the stuffed animals put away" i leave she picks them up and comes to me when it's finished. Next i say i want the dolls put away. I leave she picks them up. When she's finished it's snack time. That's the reward. It's normal snack time anyway. It's not an extra snack or a better snack. If she doesn't clean her room i ask her for her fav. toy (or i choose one myself) and i take it away and snack doesn't come until the room is cleaned she has to set alone quietly until she's ready to clean her room. The reward has to be right away and the punishment has to be something that makes her mad when i do it. If it doesn't start tears for the most part it's not good enough. After a few days they will catch on and test you by saying i don't mind not having snack or loosing the toy but after about a week or so of saying that it will actually start bothering them. You have to be firm, don't give in even once. Choose a time to do this each day that it doesn't easily interfere with outings or what not. So it's not often you have to give in or change your mind.

C.,

I'm in the same boat you are. Only I have a 4 year old daughter who is autistic and then I have a 2 year old son. Sometimes they want to clean up their toys and sometimes they don't. I've used rewards (including M&Ms) and I've taken them away. What I found worked best is when I sorted their toys into smaller bins that you can get for about $1 or $2 at Walmart. Each day we get out 2 small bins and those are the toys for the day. All other toys are kept in their bins on a top shelf in their closets. At the end of the day we all pick up the toys and put them in the bin. This way there are less toys to pick up and they don't feel so overwhelmed with all the toys. Now if they don't want to pick up their toys, they don't get them for the next day. They have to find other things to do. Yes, they don't really care and may not understand the significance of picking up their toys. I keep explaining to my kids that if their toys are left out they will fall and could get ouchies. They seem to understand that. Hope this helps. Have fun.

When I am having a hard time with my two girls to clean I make it a race. I put 10,20 or 30 minutes (depending how much of a mess they made) on the microwave timer and the game is beat the beep. They don't get anything but they sure do love to try to beat the clock. And they do. I will supervise in a rushed voice "better hurry quick quick there is 19 minutes and 10 seconds left hurry" then when they say they are done I go in there and if anything is left or not right I say "Oh no hurry you have this and this" works like a charm every time b/c I make it into a game.

Hola C.... I have 3 small kids also and know exactly what your talking about... my middle daughter was always the one who wouldn't help at all and my son always did all the work!! This may sound a little harsh but it's truly the only thing that I have found to work and that is if there toys aren't picked up at the end of the day, than I take a big plastic trash bag and go around and pick everything up and put it out for the garbage truck to pick up!!! Each child is responsible for his/her own toy's... that gets her moving for sure!! It's tough and I have really had to stick with it cause the minute I start to slide, than they do also. Remember, whatever you say your going to do, you really have to do it or they will take advantage of you! :) Little stinkers!!! But there cute little stinkers :) Hope your enjoying being a mom as much as I am!! Good luck!

hi C.,
if they don't care that you took their toys away for a week, that should be a huge red flag for you. there is no need for kids to have so many toys that they don't care about them and are making your life miserable. take three quarters of those toys and give them to a homeless shelter. dole the rest out in quantities that YOU can live with.
khairete
S.

I'm just amazed that you get them to clean up their toys at all! I have a 3-year-old boy who might be considered "high-spirited." If I can get him to put one thing away while I put away the rest, rather than him removing things I am trying to put away and making a bigger mess, I consider that a success. At this age I think the goal is just to get them used to the idea that we pick up after ourselves, not to actually expect them to be able to do it.

Hi C.,
I think the responder Rachael got close to what I was going to say. Check your language...sometimes you have to be more specific than, "Clean up the mess," or "Pick up." Be specific when they are really young, like "Pick up the Little People and put them in this box." Also, I found that when my youngest balks or isn't being productive, I have to get involved and put the toys in his hands and direct him where they go. You may have to get actively involved (don't leave the room but stay and direct or help), but they will get it eventually. My older two (3 and 6) do a pretty good job most of the time. Don't forget lots of positive reinforcement! Good luck.