Tough Times Financially

Before I go to the grocery store I look through my cupboards and make a shopping list. I create a meal list for the week and only buy what is on the list. I also organize my coupons and see what is expiring soon and see if I can plan a meal using the coupons and what I may already have in the cupboards.
Eat leftovers or at least be creative with them. I am so lucky that my family does eat leftovers-I know some do not. Who can afford not to these days :-)
Hope that helps!

When my husband & I got married 22 years ago we both had good jobs and purchased a small home. We saved, we prepared and we had lots of plans for the future. When our daughter was born 4 years later with a facial tumor, a problem with her hip and Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis everything changed. Nothing prepared us for this. I never for one moment thought my life would be so difficult and we would have to struggle the way we have.

I gave up my insurance career to care for our daughter and we struggled to make ends meet on a electrician's weekly salary of $400 at that time. The insurance company denied coverage for the surgeries our daughter would need so I held garage sales and fund raisers and begged and pleaded with anyone that would help us. That was our first lesson. Never underestimate the kindness of strangers. The insurance company eventually paid "some" of the medical costs but since her doctor was in another state and not in our insurance network, all of our travel expenses were not covered. Our daughter has had 12 operations so far. We did a lot of traveling. When the children at school did not accept her physical differences and she became an outcast we decided to homeschool. We had two mortgages, mounting medical bills, credit card debt and the possibility of foreclosure and 18 years later we still do. We have no money for retirement and now our daughter is attending college. On top of everthing else she was diagnosed with OCD & ADD several years ago. Believe me when I tell you that her 12 operations were a piece of cake in comparison to the OCD/ADD, therapy & daily struggles she faces. All we ever wanted was for our daughter to be happy and she struggles with that. This diagnosis has been more devastating than the surgery and debt.

I sacrificed everything for my family. I sold all of little bit of jewelry I had and anything of value because monetary things mean nothing. Everyone visited the dentist except me since I already knew I needed a ton of work that we could never afford. In fact, by the time I got to the dentist I had a massive infection that went through the root and into my jaw. I was on antibiotics and lost 3 teeth. I have been told that my teeth are loose, I need a ton of crowns and if I don't get to it soon I will lose my teeth. Here I am getting ready to finally try to get back to work after 18 years and now this. I need my beautiful smile. My family counts on it. It is what has gotten us through these tough times. Positive thinking and lots of prayers. But how will we ever get out of debt?

I don't have all of the answers but I have learned a lot.

1) Pay the minimum but pay your debts "on time". Good credit means everything! I am not joking. You auto insurance is lower if you have good credit. Some jobs won't hire you if you have bad credit. Unfair but true.
2) Don't be too proud to ask for help. Never underestimate the kindness of strangers.
3) Research home remedies. Some really do work. I use Noxema on my feet to soften them and make them smell good, Apple Cider Vinegar & Water for Acid Reflux, Vicks for hemmoroids(yes it did work for me)
4) The Internet is your friend! Use it, research, ask questions. We never qualified for any assistance because my husband made too much money. Hah! So, I had to get very creative & learned about Freecycle, Coupons, Angel Food Ministries, Thrift Stores, Garage Sales, Ebay, Craigslist, Yahoo Groups, Sliding scale fees, dental schools and more.
5) Try to eat healthy & exercise. It is challenging BUT if you do not have your health, you have nothing. Don't forget to floss(really important).
6) Knowledge is power. Learn how to color you own hair, groom your dogs, mow the lawn, clean your carpet, cook HOMEMADE, etc. There are ways to cut back on the Air Conditioning, Heat, Groceries, etc. and there are lots of websites and tips on the Internet to help.
7) Smile, laugh & have a sense of humor. If you cannot find something to laugh & smile about every day, you will have an even tougher time. I wake up with a smile every day and it makes a huge difference to my family. Do not underestimate the power of positive thinking. You CAN do it!
8) HELP OTHERS! IF NOTHING ELSE, DONATE YOUR TIME. Nothing is more rewarding or uplifting than helping someone else in need. Your used items are someone elses treasure. I have helped people by researching things on the Internet that could benefit them. I offer advice here on Mamapedia :o). I have helped people write resumes. I have cooked meals, donated blankets to a shelter, etc. I set an example for our daughter. Everyone is struggling. Don't forget to share.
9) Ask the doctor for free samples of medicine you need. My doctor & the drug companies have been very helpful. Rite Aid has a great discount drug program & there are others offering discounts too.
10) You get more bees with honey. DON'T FORGET THESE TWO MOST IMPORTANT WORDS - THANK YOU! Yes, don't forget to thank the people that help you. Forget about trying to send gifts and I think emails are a bit impersonal. A heartfelt hand written note means more to people than you can possibly imagine. When they know that their efforts are really, really appreciated and they know that they are truly helping you, they will continue to do so if you say THANK YOU! I kid you not. THIS IS IMPORTANT PEOPLE!

These struggles made me stronger, wiser and more appreciative and compassionate than ever. There are lessons to be learned in everything we experience, good and bad. Reach out to your neighbor, don't judge until you know the person's story or history. Sometimes things are not always what they seem.

Yard sales very other weekend. Yep, I made 20 for gas and it helped a lot.

My husband lost his job of 9 years in July 2011.

We are a cash only family and have been since 2006.

We had savings and investments that we used. We cut back on the things that were "fluff" to us. Being prepared makes the biggest difference. Knowing what you spend - how much you have saved/invested.

Helping others - because someone always has it worse than you - volunteering - donating....

Garage sales, ebay, craigslist - sold things we didn't need or use anymore for the "small things".

Communication is key.
Every situation is a temporary situation - sometimes just longer than you want or expect.

Set up your back up plan. Make sure you have AT LEAST six months in salary in savings or investments.
Budget/cash only.
Volunteer your time.
Communicate with your spouse.

This sounds like a survey?
Is it?

I can't really tell you anything..But i can tell you what my parents did when times were hard. When I was growing up my mom was a SAHM and had four of us kids. My dad worked alot. Yes my parents had it hard at times. I remember she would get big bags of potatoes on sale at the store and would make home made mash potatoes,fries,potatoe salad,bake potatoes. She would catch chicken on sale and do the same. Make fried chicken,bake chicken,BBQ chicken,chicken nuggets. Yes i remember we got tired of eating different ways of chicken the whole week,but i didn't understand til i got out on my own. They were going threw hard times and made their money stretch in every different way to get by. My mom did sales and coupons.They had us dress well by going to name brand stores and shopping on sales and clearance deals. They are ways to work and get by during these hard times.

Hope that helps. :)

A budget is really important.
That way it's easier to make sure you're living on less than you make--which is, IMO, the key.
Use cash so you know what it "feels" like to spend money.
Get rid of credit cards.
Save an emergency fund for unexpected expenses.
Grocery shop from a LIST.
Plan meals for the week ahead.
Stay out of malls & stores as much as possible.

When I was a kid, times were very tough. Had we not had a kind landlord that allowed Mom to pay a very small rent, we would have been homeless. We didn't get cable tv. We sometimes didn't have a home phone. We kept the thermostat set very low and wore sweaters. There was no such thing as a steak dinner. So that's my "bottom line" experience. I am willing to give up things to not have to be in that place. Cable is not necessary. There are lower cost alternatives to paid TV and high speed internet access (though currently it's a job requirement). There are lower cost options for most things. I look at the price per quantity on everything and use some coupons. If it is too expensive to buy x brand shoes, we look online (Zappos often has sales) or we buy alternate brands. Kids need shoes but they don't need cool shoes all the time. And I don't buy a lot of clothes for myself. I'm the same size I was (about) that I've been for years and I go for wardrobe staples vs the latest trend. I try to avoid a lot of impulse buying. Sometimes, yes, DD gets that cute hair thing that isn't a "need" but I've cut back a lot since I started working PT. No Starbucks for me.

I do agree that good credit means a lot. My mother has never been able to dig out from a bad divorce where he ruined her credit. If you have a student loan, for example, talk to them before you get behind. You can make smaller payments or take a deferment instead of going to collections. I only have 1 credit card on purpose. I don't sign up for store cards or anything else. I pay cash often and I pay more than the minimum on that 1 credit card. DH pays his CC off in full every month (except recently when he had to charge some of SD's college expenses).

A lot of it comes down to being smart and really thinking about what you spend and where it all goes. If you find that $20 burns a hole in your pocket,think about why. Friend of mine says she's struggled with her DH because he'll say there's no money - but then upgrade his phone. Oh, so there's "no money" for something she wants or the house needs, but he finds it when he wants it. In which case, they need to sit down, make a budget and shuffle the deck to make it more fair and know what they really have. Know your resources. If nothing else, heaven forbid your DH get eaten by bears. What would you do? You need to know.

My hubby had several medical issues last year, was in and out of the hospital for 3 months and had a few surgerys. We have medical insurance, but he does not have disability insurance.

We did have an emergency fund, but didn't want to completely drain it. One of the first things we did was cut back on expenses. We're pretty frugal to begin with so the biggest saving was on groceries and on gas (hubby wasn't driving). As tempting as it was to eat out or grab something at the hosp. cafeteria, I always brought food from home.

Since I had to miss quite a bit of time from work (I used sick and vacation time), I was able to pick up some additional hours after hubby recovered. It was our busy time and my desk was buried.

My FIL out of the blue gave us a substantial check as a loan. We were shocked as it was totally unexpected. Within a month we had paid back over 50%, and eventually paid it all back.

What I learned... That emergency fund is important, make sure you have it. Family is what really matters.

My husband is a small business owner. When the economy first tanked we really struggled. Thankfully things have improved last couple of years, but it was tough for quite a while. Dave Ramsey is a man who has great ideas on how to obtain financial security regardless of situation. You can get his books at the library or google his website. He has consultants that volunteer to help people get finances in order. We loved his program and it helped us make it without going into debt. Take care of the marriage. Money trouble can cause a lot of tension so work extra hard to keep your connection to each other strong. See this as a chance to bond and fight together for your family! Blessings to you during this hard time!

Taking a Dave Ramsey class was life-changing for me.