Took on Way Too Much and I Have to Honor the Least of My Priorities

Tell them that you need a helper. What would happen if you were in an accident and in a coma for a month? They would not sit and wait on your to wake up to do this work. There ARE other people who can do math, there ARE other people who can read a bank statement, there ARE OTHER people who can do this and would do it happily.

Your education is so much more important than this organization. It is temporary and your education will supply you and your child an income for the rest of your life.

To me this is a no brainer. If you are on a deadline for the group tell them you MUST have help. Either someone to hand this over to for a month or someone that will take a task and do it. That way you can direct them to the most important thing that needs to be done.

Your schooling takes priority. This is when you just have to say, "No."

I would NOT take time away from school. I think it's time to be honest and just tell them you underestimated the commitment. They SHOULD understand that you can't give the job the time and detail, that it deserves and requires. They should want someone who can. Do you happen to know of anyone who does this sort of thing, and would want the position. You CAN bail, but don't look at it that way. When I got pregnant, I fully planned to work throughout my pregnancy, starting full time and ending part. Well, I was sick as a dog. I couldn't even work an hour.They wanted and needed me to stay. I had made the commitment to stay. However, I could NOT give the position the care it called for. I didn't "bail" on my commitment, I realized that I couldn't fulfill it, and they deserved to have someone who could. Stuff happens, and sometimes we have to leave things behind, for someone who can do it better. Unless you signed a contract saying you will never ever not do this, or there is a gun to your head...you absolutely can step away.

No way would I take time from school. I just wouldn't.

You already told them that you could go back to school at any time. They accepted that when they accepted you as treasurer. Ask them to find another treasurer now. I'm sorry, but your schooling comes first.

Do not feel that you cannot bow out of this board position. I know how you feel. I have had to bow out of board positions too. Sometimes because of moving, sometimes because of too many obligations. One was before I really knew the women involved, (which was my mistake) and when I saw the kind of people they were, (barracudas, to be blunt), I knew that I would never feel comfortable with the way they treated other people. So I told them I was sorry that I could not continue - the computer work was too hard for me and I couldn't get my head around it. I had actually hoped that my computer skills would be good enough, and given a little more time, I think that they would have. But it was the perfect excuse. Telling them the unvarnished truth would not have made a bit of difference, and they would have just turned on ME next.

This isn't your issue, and hopefully these women are nice. However, you are right that they don't have a paid job hinging on their work like you do. You must put the schooling above all else.

Tell them to get another lady, have her come and work with you so that you can get her help while turning the reins over to her. It will help the club and help you too. You must NOT let this take precedence over your job security.

I just want to add that if you lose friends over this, it means that they were only your friends because of what you could do for them. That would mean that they are POSERS and USERS. I HATE posers and users. I really do. If they are these kinds of people, they are NOT your friends and you don't want them in your life anyway.

The job of treasurer of any organization is important. Ask for help. Tell the president that you will require assistance in order to get this done. Explain what happened about the erasure on the computer. Perhaps the prior treasurer or someone who is treasurer with a similar group would help you get these tasks completed. You might also check to see if the bank could do anything to help.
I don't know how serious this group is and how many of these issues could apply. If this group has to file reports with a national organization, then they may be violation or could be subject to losing their charter for failing to file financial information. Club members also have a right to see how the funds are accounted for. And if your organization is a 501c3 (non profit) then you have to file certain documents or you will lose your tax free status. That is why it is important.
Asking for help instead of bailing on the job would be a better scenario. Leaving the pieces for others to pick up will leave a bad taste in their mouths. If you are planning to have other dealings with these people as your child advances in school, you may not want to leave things on a bad note. I think you are feeling overwhelmed by the task-and that is adding to your stress level. if you work on it to construct a month at a time and get some help, maybe it won't seem like an impossible task.

Yes, you made a commitment but you are in over your head. Therefore, I think you need to be honest and tell them you need help or an extension. School should be your priority.

I truly understand your conflict. But you must take a step back and look at your own future, and protect what is important. I imagine, and hope, your answer is your school.

I was in your exact shoes, except that I would never volunteer, EVER, to be a treasurer, I was just the secretary and responsible for the monthly newsletter in our moms group, plus notes, etc.. I felt duped by the board when the duties were described to me when I agreed to the position, because once I was in, turns out, they wanted the newsletter done an entire week before the prior secretary told me, and I literally could not do that. It completely conflicted with my other personal obligations at that time. And I also felt the wrath of these board members who were upset as they had their own schedules to maintain for review and turn around back to me.

Fast forward, we ended up moving out of state and I never saw them again. But even if I did stay in the area, I realized I would not have maintained friendships with any of these woman who were disappointed in my output. Gosh, we're all moms and they were rather rude about the scenario.

Look, ES, do not for a moment beat yourself up over this. Things change all the time. It's inevitable. Finding and keeping a treasurer for any organization is difficult, as they have the most work of anyone on a board.

Tell them as soon as possible that your predictions came true, that you have this grant funded program on your plate now, (big YEAH!!!) and that to honor them you have already requested a one month extension on your program, in order to correct the erroneously deleted bank statements, and this means they have one month to advertise and find a replacement treasurer for the remaining of the year, as this program takes precedence in your life right now.

Tell them you are sorry for any inconvenience it causes them, but you cannot juggle this position with your other existing responsibilities. Keep it plain and simple and do not allow them to coerce you to stay on.

Now, you might offer a small amount of time to transfer the materials to the new treasurer.

Also, what about asking for immediate help. Can't any of the other board members help you input bank statements?

Tell them you just cannot do it. School takes up more time then you thought.

The president "encouraged" you to resurrect the files using statements, but did the president at the same time offer you any help, or just "encouragement"?

I think it's clear: School. Comes. First. Getting a grant is a huge deal and the other officers of this club simply may not realize what a very huge deal it is. The grant is a vote of confidence in you and is your priority -- period. I would set yourself a deadline for precisely when you must be done with ANY duties for the moms' club; tell the officers that deadline; and stick to it. Anything not done by then: You hand over the records and directions to the person they designate, but you are done. You really cannot continue in the treasurer job anyway, realistically.Is this bailing? It can be called that. But you're not walking off cold; you're goiing to do what you can before a certain time and they will know you are then out of the treasurer job. Bailing, to me, would be walking off leaving things in a mess, unannounced.

In every organization I've ever been in (churches; social action group; scouting; PTA, whatever) I have always VASTLY preferred that people just confess what is going on, hand over things in as good a shape as possible, and leave openly and frankly with a clean break rather than hang on too long or do things half-well because they just were too scared or too reluctant to know when to stop. The treasurer position needs to go to someone else, as does the work you are now doing. Tell them that you will do all you can by date X but after that you have school deadlines that must take priority for your own and your family's sakes.

Please think of it this way: In two years' time will this all loom as large? In five years' time? In 10 years? No, it won't. I know they have to file certain stuff etc., but these officers also know it's a volunteer organization. Your dedication is wonderful but your school situation is also your LIFE here -- school translates into your career, your earning power, which translates into what you can do for your kids, their future schooling options and finances, etc. That is what will matter, not the moms' group, which does not have any bearing on your career, earning power, what you can provide for your kids.....

You would be letting the group down more if you give them dribs and drabs of your stressed-out self than if you make a clean break on a specific date.

Is the real issue here that if you give up the treasurer's job, you will no longer feel welcome as a member? That you will have to give up partcipating because you won't be able to hold up your head among these moms? If that were to happen -- if they were unable to understand why school is a priority or why a grant is more important -- would you really want be part of that group anyway, if they treated you in that manner after this? Something to consider....

You said you fear losing friends. Real friends are goiing to understand this. Those who don't are more invested in the organization and their roles in it than in you or your friendship.

oh, what a nightmare. i sit on the board of a national organization, and we've had a hell two years of trying to a)recruit and b) retain a treasurer (i'm the secretary, and woefully unsuited to it.) we finally got a board member to take it on a couple of months ago, and just heard from her earlier this week that she's getting divorced and doesn't think she can keep it up.
but life happens, doesn't it?
we absolutely HAVE to keep our 501C3 status, so we've got to figure it out.
in your situation i'd definitely keep your commitment to resurrect the books and balance sheet, and i applaud you for not sidestepping that one. but you just have to tell them that you cannot go beyond that. it is what it is. you can't let it destroy your schooling and prospects for the future.
there will almost certainly be some consternation, and negative judgment from some. it's inevitable. but there's no perfect solution to this. hold your head high, apologize when necessary, but don't abase yourself. the only 'fault' here is the lost information, and you're correcting that.
on a lighter note, i'm thrilled to see someone else use the term 'swimmingly'. the only other people i've heard do so are my brit/bermudian friends. are you british?
:) khairete
S.

Well, as others have said, you need to ask for help.

I think that you need to at least get the books back to a state that you can hand them over to someone else in a condition that it's not a huge mess for the next person. The fact that the files got erased is your fault and you readily admit that here.

Once you have the books in better shape, then you should not feel any guilt in leaving this board position to focus on school.

I was in that situation when I was asked to be treasurer at my church, and out of a mixture of feelings of flattery and obligation, I said yes. I was in way over my head and I finally got the guts to resign. I think they were relieved. Even if the job isn't actually difficult for you, if you are this overwhelmed, you probably aren't the best person for the job, because errors are more likely. You will feel so much better when you get the courage to tell them you can't do it anymore.

A member of our organization wasn't able to keep on top of things due to other obligations and plans. The problem was, she didn't ask someone else take on her duties when she could not. After awhile, her duties were stripped from her, making for hurt feelings and resentment on both sides.

It is a hard thing to do, but you have to tell the other members that you need to resign from the position. School is your priority. That is an honest statement. The longer you drag it out, the worse it will end.

Added: Check the temp file folder of your computer. Sometimes documents have an automatic backup.

You step up and ask for help. Maybe a 2nd person working with you could help you reconstruct the ledger. Two heads are better than one. The other thing that does is start to train a 2nd person to do the organization's books. Maybe a new person would be interested if she had someone to step her through it.

Obviously things need to be backed up and you can't let your child near the computer without supervision, so lesson learned on that one.

Tell the organization the truth, that school is your priority and the work is more time-consuming than you anticipated. You also gave them warning about this - tell them what you predicted has come true. Tell them you need to step away and it has to be now. Tell them you've already made a mistake with the books and created a huge job - you're willing to rectify the mistake and acclimate a new person to the job. Every organization should have a 2nd tier of people interested in positions and jobs that need doing. If they don't, it's not good management.

School has got to be more important than the volunteer position, which doesn't mean you don't value the organization's goals and function. Say that.

I would focus on school first. I would also ask for help to be assigned to me to get the books back under control. I have a degree in accounting, and had to help my husband sort out a mess like this when he took over as treasurer, and the former person seemed to keep no records. I will tell you what I told him, which is to cut to the chase and do better from then on. What is the latest financial report you have? Start with that and go from there. Yes, you will have to use some plug figures - for example, if you know your income (deposits) and you know what you started with and what you have now, the plug figure is expenses. Another tip is that some banks have the option to download your statement into a program like Quicken. That might help too. But you need some help with this, and school comes first.

You have made a huge error and you need to fix it, like soon! Just be honest and speak up and tell them you lost all the figures and you need helpand are not qualified to do it, it was way more than what you expected! I know that no one likes to admit when they are at fault or not good at something but you need to own up to this and not leave it till the last second when it's possible it will be too late to fix it! Speak up and speak up soon! Maybe the President or other chair people might have a copy of the books and it will be an easy fix for the next person...whatever you o, just do it quick!

I accidently deleted my resume and was able to restore it by clicking the 'undo' button. Try that if anything like this happens again. Before closing the program just click 'undo' and it may restore the file.

As far as your priorities go school comes first. Tell the group you either need an assistant or you will not be able to serve as treasurer any longer.