Toddler Pointing Out Private Parts

Updated on September 06, 2008
V.J. asks from Phoenix, AZ
14 answers

My 27 month old son has suddenly become very aware of p****** p****. He points out my boobs, butt, and pee-pee almost every day. There have been a few times when we've been out shopping that he has pointed out bras at which point he says "boobs" or grabs the bra cups. Obviously this behavior isn't something I encourage but I also don't want to make it a taboo subject so I don't make a big deal of it when he says these things. It's good for him to learn body parts, but I don't know how to get him to stop pointing them out when it's not really appropriate. At what age is it no longer appropriate for your children to see you in the nude (like when you're getting dressed or getting in/out of the shower)? I breastfed him as a baby and I nursed his little brother until about 3 months ago which I'm sure accounts for his fascination with breasts. We're also gearing up for potty training so he sits on his potty chair while I use the toilet. I know it would be ideal if his daddy could be here all day to go into the bathroom with him, but as many of you moms know, that simply isn't feasible. Is this just a normal phase that he's going through or should I start being more modest around him? Thanks in advance for your input! :)

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V.R.

answers from Albuquerque on

It's just new to him, children will embaress you at different stages of thier lives. As will you embarras them, don't worry about it, this too will pass.

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D.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I don't think it's anything to worry about, but I would add other body parts to the ones he is pointing out when he says them, "That's right, and this is an elbow, and here is my ankle. Where is your neck?" Pretty soon it will be just another body part.

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C.W.

answers from Phoenix on

HI V.,
My experience was a bit different, I think my son was about the same age as your son is now and he used to pull on the front of my bathing suit when we were in the pool. I finally told him... every time you do it I am going to dunk you under water! And I did! IT seemed to stop it pretty quickly.

As far as too much nudity etc... IT is really whatever your family is comfortable with. some families are very very modest and others more open. Since he is 27 months I would just tell him, we do not talk about other women's body parts and we only talk about ours at home.. He will get the picture soon enough. It probably would not hurt to remind him before you go into the grocery stores etc..
Good luck, you will do fine!
C. W
www.myhomecottagebiz.com

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A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Totally normal- no need to worry at all.
Nudity is not a big deal in our house and my girls have all turned out just fine (my oldest is 11, and my 2 year old in in the same phase your son is. She points out boobs on everything!) Just don't make a big deal about it- and don't stress. He'll find something more interesting in no time!

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J.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Hello Luv,

I'm lol! You and your little sweetie are so adorable! This is a normal phase and I LOVE that you are not freakin' out, making it seem taboo, because that does make it worse.

I have two words for you...shiny object! The best way to get a child off some fixation is to redirect them with something more interesting.

Anything you have that he loves, that you can pull out of your purse or pocket will do. It can be a crystal, marble, seashell, small snow-globe, harmony balls, matchbox car...you probably already know what he loves. Use that.

You're a great Mom and you're doing a great job! Keep the faith, girl!

XXOO, J. :-)

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K.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi V.- My daughter did and does the same thing. Remember too, that those parts of the body are just that, parts of the body and he see no difference between a boob and a foot. I would try really talking up the other parts of the body. "Look at mommies foot, it is so much bigger than your food, and baby brother foot is even smaller." "Look, she has a watch on her arm." Maybe he will then he will notice something else. My daughter talks about who has a "pepis" and a "gina" based on whether or not it is a girl or boy. You can also talk to him about only talking about boob and other privates at home. Just remind him when he goes to say something that you talk about that at home. Good luck.

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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

A lot of people have been through this...it will pass. Something new fascination will take over...keep on not making a big deal of it. Kids know when you are more embarrassed in public. So be on trying not to make a big deal of it even there.
As for seeing adults in the nude. well, I think about other cultures in which minimal clothing is worn or available. Kids just learn appropriate behavior. (what to look at/ not look at/comment on, not comment on) The nudity is not the issue. It is a matter of learning social rules/behavior.
You can teach rules about privacy in your own home, and if slip ups happen (opening a door accidentally at the wrong time), well, then it is not a such big deal.
Having dad involved in toilet training is not a bad idea...but many moms have done it alone too.
Being more modest around your son will help model what you want him to do...the change may seem odd to him at first...but kids survive many changes, like moving, making new friends etc. Just be patient with him.

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D.P.

answers from Tucson on

This is personal to every woman I think. I personally am not modest around either of my boys and they are 7 and 2. I think it is good to teach them that their bodies are beautiful or handsome no matter what is worn.. It was funny. I once had my son changing his top in the car and I was watching a friend's child. She was like eeeeewwwwww, I don't want to see anyone's naked chest. I laughed and said, there is nothing wrong with a naked chest, I wish I could go around without a top on like guys do.....LOL Anyhow, this little 10 year old is mortified at the thought of seeing nakedness. I told her not to look then, and my son teases her a little about it, but I tell him not to of course. This little girl and her siblings have self esteem problems. I am watching them for free as they cannot afford a sitter and the kids deserve a good roll model in their lives while their parents work.

Potty training will happen slowly but surely.didn't decide to actually fully train until about 5 years old. I am hoping it comes quicker for my second since he actually sits on the little potty we have for him while I go and sometimes just pulls his own pants down and sits a while, but doesn't do anything in it yet.

D.

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L.W.

answers from Santa Fe on

I have a ten-year old boy and a five-year old boy, as well as a one-year old girl.

We have always been kind of a naked family...we'll still shower with the kids occasionally, and change in front of them at times. It's just not a big deal. I grew up in a family where nudity was just a part of life (not every day life, but just not made into a "thing") and I feel that I have an incredibly healthy body image and an open and comfortable view of my sexuality, in general. I know a lot of my friends were shamed or taught to be secretive with nudity and body parts, and had silly names for genitalia, etc. Many of them are guilty around sex, or are uncomfortable with their bodies.

I think it largely depends on how you and your husband feel, personally, about your own bodies. If you aren't comfortable with it but try to be, the kids will pick up on that. It just seems really important that you let your little guy know that his curiosity is okay, and not bad or ugly. I tell my boys that certain things are inappropriate, and they aren't ever allowed to touch or even really look too much. If I feel uncomfortable with a certain behavior, I let them know that it's my private body part and they need to respect my privacy. I make it clear to them that it's not okay to be as open around other adults, and that anything their bathing suits cover is their own p****** p***.

I also let them know that "bathroom words" are for the bathroom, and that they can say those words as much as they want in the bathroom, but no where else. A family counselor suggested that to me when my oldest was about 3, as a way to take the power away from those words. It's worked really well. People are very forgiving with little ones, and we always just laughed about their little comments. I tell my five-year old that we can talk about it later, at home.

I think it's all part of the self-esteem thing, to show them that bodies are just bodies, and they're incredible and amazing, and beautiful. Nudity is a cultural norm, not an absolute. You can frame it as dirty or beautiful and normal. You can show them real bodies or have them learn by looking at airbrushed magazines and anorexic movie stars.

Good luck! I'm sure your boys will grow up knowing they're lucky to have such a thoughtful mom.

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Sounds like a normal kid to me. When my kids were little and they pointed out parts I would say, "yes, all ladies have breasts" or " yes, all men have..." And then maybe quiz them on a different body part to try to change the subject in public. As far as modesty goes...it's a personal choice. No right or wrong answer. Whatever you and your husband are comfortable with. Even girls will point out differences in bodies, just because little kids bodies are different than adults. The more they know that's how people are, the less of a big deal it is.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I have four kids and I went through some sort of embarrassing thing like that with all of them at some point. Some more than others but I was patient and kind and just told them that this isn't nice to say. I just said it isn't nice. Quietly and kindly.

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A.G.

answers from Phoenix on

This is another one of those learning processes and one I would not worry about you will know when he is at an age old enough to stop him however, at this moment it is a normal part of growing. The first one always leaves you a little unsure and the next will be "what the heck" your levels of being uncertain will diminish or at least not be a priority.

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

I have to share one of my favorite stories of my son. He used to be fascinated with his p****** p**** at that age so I would just tell him that we only touch them in private. I didn't make a big deal about it. Well, a few months later we were at a gift shop and he was always asking questions. He saw a sign on the back door and asked what it said. I told him it said, "Private." So he asked me if that is where the people go to touch their p****** p****.

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B.B.

answers from Santa Fe on

My son starting doing that and staring at me when I was naked in front of him. That is how I knew it was time to be dressed in front of him. He isn't allowed in the bathroom when I am going potty. Even when we go to a public bathroom, I have him turn around so he can't see me going.

Just keep on him about not talking like that, especially in public. It can be embrassing.

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