To Personalize or not.....is It Unsafe?

Updated on July 17, 2010
F.A. asks from Howell, NJ
25 answers

My son is starting kindergarten in the Fall. I'd like to get him a backpack and/or lunch bag with his name on it, or put a personalized kids' luggage tag on them. My husband says this is not safe - that any child is more susceptible to strangers when they use the child's name. What do you think? Do you personalize your kids' stuff? Is there a safer way I can do it so my son is happy?

Thanks in advance!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your opinions! I've decided to go with the Land's End backpack and lunch kit, which can be personalized with shark embroidery rather than my son's name. I'll write his name on the inside of everything, but the shark is cool and will help him identify his bag.

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T.C.

answers from Austin on

You should write something- whether it's first name only, last name only, or initials- on the INSIDE of the backpack, lunchbag, coat, etc. That way a stranger walking down the street won't call them by name, but if it ends up in the lost and found at school they can claim it.

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G.T.

answers from Rochester on

The reason teachers/schools ask you to put the child's name on things is so that if there are 2 children with the same bag they can tell them apart. Or if a bag gets left behind the teacher/bus driver/etc can tell who it belongs to. Their name does not have to be on the outside of the bag. Just take a marker and on the inside of the bag write his name. Show him where it is so he can tell someone it's there if needed.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Better to use initials only. You probably need to put his name somewhere on the backpack, but do it in an inconspicuous area.

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P.W.

answers from Dallas on

Yes, I agree with your husband. The idea is that a stranger will know your son's name and speak to him as if he knows him. That's if his name is easily seen.

However, you can write his name inside the backpack, etc...and hang something fun on it that means something to your son so he can easily identify it. I wrote my kids name inside all their clothes, etc... Or initials. Just some way to identify in case they lose it or it gets mixed up with other kids.

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Your husband is right. If anyone see's his name on his backpack, all they have to do is pretend they know him and that your mommy told me to pick you up "Billy". Your kid could easily believe something like this. We always had a code word to use if someone other than our parents were picking us up, they would have to give us the code word before we knew it was safe to go with them.

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R.C.

answers from Boston on

Please listen to your husband on this one. It is a genuine safety issue. As many children seems to pick the same backpack for kindergarden you could personalize it having it monogrammed or by printing his name on the outside back (the part he would wear against his back). These solutions would make it much easier to pick out from others, before opening it up.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Well, I don't know about your school, but at my son's school we HAD to label all of his things...backpack, lunch bag, pencil box...It had to have his name and his teacher's name on it.
I DO see your husban'd point, but it's not like you are going to put his name on the OUTSIDE of his things...his name should be on the inside of his bag and coat and whatnot. Check with the school and see if they have that policy.
L.

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H.B.

answers from Chicago on

Pick out a specific iron on patch, initials only or name on the inside of the backpack.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I would somehow label his things. So many things get misplaced. At least get initials.

My daughter is 15 and has required wear for cheer practice. One of her shirts (no name) "got legs" and every day she did not wear that shirt she got a demerit for class. Not good. Most of the cheer wear has her name in full view somehow.

On another note, fundraisers want us to purchase a sign for the school that says Cheer and has her name on it. I don't feel comfortale with having a sign in my yard advertising that I have a 15 yr old here.

Just do something basic that identifies him.

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N.D.

answers from New York on

Your husband is right to a point. But I dont think or I hope your son wouldnt be in a position to have a stranger see his name and call him. Also most child abductions are done by someone they already know. If it makes him happy personalize it and then give him a SECRET word to remember so that he knows not to go with anyone ANYONE at all, unless they say the secret word. Emergencies happen where you might have to have a friend or co-worker pick him up at school. That person needs to use the secret word, aunts, uncles, grandparents also need to use the secret word. Make it a ridiculous word, such as elephant, that no one could guess and then practice so he will not reveal it and not go with anyone unless they say it.

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M.B.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

Yeah it is safer with the name not showing, but on the other hand, how often will you call your child by name and a stranger will hear it.... My daughter has a cell phone (she is 8 years old) which she knows that if I am not picking her up from school she will call me, if she cant get a hold of me she will call Daddy... she knows not to leave the school ground without me, her Daddy or a designated person. If there is a designated person picking her up, I either tell her in the morning, or message her.

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L.H.

answers from New York on

I've seen that it's unsafe on one of those safe kids programs, because someone can call out their name and act like they know them. I had to put my son's name on all his stuff anyway, because that is what the prochial school wants so they can itentify lost items. (Everything is uniform, including note books.) It can also help find a child. We just teach our children not to respond or go to anyone they don't know, even if they call out their names.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I put my kids names on things, the school here asks you to. For their backpack I put their names on the inside. The lunch box really doesn't matter becasue it is only out for lunch. On their coats I write our last name becasue I have 3 girls on the inside of their coats.

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

No big letters that can be read from a distance.
There are cute luggage tags -- we got turtle and duck ones for my twin girls.
Names belong inside the bags not outside.
My opinion

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L.V.

answers from New York on

I totally agree with your husband. At this age kids are still learning the concept of "stranger". If a nice looking person walks up to them smiling and uses their name this may make your son feel safe. If you want to get something personalized then get a pencil box that your son can keep in his desk or only use the personalized items when either you or your husband is with him. It's always better safe than sorry.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

I am in agreement with your husband.

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B.A.

answers from New York on

I wouldn't personalize...everything in school has to be labeled...but you can put his name on the inside of his jacket, lunchbox and schoolbag...I will probabaly be crucified for this but I think the kids that have the personalized school bags are "geeky"...I know that sounds immature but I would without a doubt laugh if I saw someone with a personalized schoolbag...it's like a bad tv show.

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J.B.

answers from New York on

Hi, I think your husband is right in this situation. I label everything on the inside. What about initials? And a "cool" design?

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R.D.

answers from San Francisco on

I think that at least labeling with initials is OK. It never ceases to amaze me that parents walk around with their kids names plastered on their cars or on their kids backpacks in plain view. I always feel like I need to point it out to those parents because maybe they just hadn't thought of it. I put our last name on the inside of their sweatshirts or my kids initials because our last name is pretty long. Hope that helps. Trust me, there are always things that are going missing. My son just finished 2nd grade and he never seemed to misplace things, but the last two weeks he literally lost four sweatshirts. He attends a small school just under 300 students and there was at least seven large boxes of lost and found at the end of the year.

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I wouldn't. I think using the initials is a great idea.

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K.J.

answers from New York on

I agree that initials are better. No names. Why risk it for a backpack?

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A.W.

answers from New York on

I put my son's initials on his backpack instead of his name. That way it's personalized without the safety/security issues of personalizing his belonging with his name.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

My son has a cool little bag tag that we got at some event, that attaches to the zipper in his backpack. We put it on the inside.
On the otherhand, I firmly agree with the family codeword (if there was an emergency and the plan changed and someone had to pick him up). I teach my son to say hi to people who say hi to him first (like a store clerk), but that it is ok to not say anything else especially if we're not with him, and never go over to speak to someone, if you don't really remember who they are. I tell him that he'd not get in trouble if he forgets who one of my friends is and doesn't speak, because I'd rather him not talk to strangers. Truth is, kids area always yelling each other's names when playing, or saying bye, or whatever.....it's very easy to catch someone's first name. We don't teach fear though; just wisdom.
We had the opportunity to see that he DOES listen to us! I didn't want him talking to just any adult if he ever got separated from us, so I taught him that if he can't see me, to find a cash register and tell the "worker" that you need help. We were at an event 2 weeks ago at a library where we got separated (fast moving crowd, suddenly, and I had a stroller and couldn't manuever fast enough, and he couldn't hear me call him)....He saw that I wasn't with him, and turned around and went straight to the circulation desk and told the worker "My name is__, my mommy's name is__, and I can't find my mommy, ok?" He was very calm and did exactly as I'd taught him. Three year olds CAN listen!!! So good to know!

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J.F.

answers from Buffalo on

I love the idea of having your son pick out a patch or something else to identify his things to him and make them unique. Initials are ok. But i agree putting his name on only the inside, the name on the outside of the bag would make me nervous -- back in the day it probably wouldn't have been a big deal, but there seem to be many more dangers out there nowadays. Why take the chance?

K.I.

answers from Spokane on

How about just initials? I personalize all our luggage...all my kids have the duffle bags from LL Bean w/their names on them but I never put their names on anything that they themselves carry...I too, have heard it is un-safe and that makes sense to me...you dont want some stranger calling your child by their name and acting like they know them?!

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