The Never Ending Job of Housework and Laundry.....

You have to take small bites one at a time. Start out with a daily duties list and write down everything that needs to be done and space it out over five days - mornings and afternoons. It will take about a month but the progress will be great. In fact you will have time to go outside and enjoy the sunshine.

I felt this way about 30 years ago and nothing seemed to get done and always clean laundry everywhere. So one day I sat down and wrote down all the things that needed to be done and stuck to it. We had fresh homemade meals daily, homemade bread twice a week, and trips to the park. My laundry included doing cloth diapers three times a week. PM if you need additional help or ideas.

This too shall pass and you will have House Beautiful once the kids are in school full time.

The other S.

I feel your pain! I'm a sahm with four little ones, number is on the way (when this baby is born, my youngest four will be under the age of five...). It's tiring work right now! Being a mom of any number of young children is exhausting (whether it's one or two or three, etc...). So let yourself be exhausted and not up to full speed and let that be OKAY.

Here's things I do that help, but it's still a challenge:-)
- Create a playroom or play area. Our four kids sleep in the same room (they are little, so it works for now) and our other room is a playroom. Can't do a playroom...do a play area. Toys stay in the playroom. They can bring a couple out at a time but that's it. My house gets demolished if they all brought out as many toys as they want. This really helps.
- Have clean up time about 30 minutes before hubby gets home. Turn on fun, energetic music, and clean fast. Don't worry about the playroom/area. Just clean up clutter everywhere else.
- clean the kitchen at least once a day. It wont stay clean, but keep the cleaning cycle going. If you can, clean it in the morning and at night. Have your 8 yr old help by clearing off table & emptying dishwasher (my 2, 4, and 8 yr olds help with this).
- Do ONE load of laundry a day. Don't worry about doing it all. Just tell yourself that your job is one load a day. Wash/dry/fold/put away & laundry is done. My mom told me that "trick" and I was shocked at how much less burdensome laundry became. And I am able to keep it going at a nice pace. We don't run out.
- Toss stuff if you have too much of it. Have a garage sale or donate to a place like goodwill.
- Have assigned days that you vacuum, clean bathrooms, dust, mop, etc.

Having a chart helps a lot. Do what is assigned that day. Try to disburse it evenly so you don't have too much to do each day.

Oh, and with meals, look into crockpot recipes that are typically fast to put together and yummy to eat. Plan your meals per week (have this assigned to do on a certain day). Then base shopping on that. It's much easier to cook when it's planned out.

When I look at my job as a SAHM as an actual *job*, it's somehow easier to organize. And do be sure to plan in free, down time...and try hard to get enough sleep. Sleep does wonders for energy level! I'm on my phone and can't reread what I wrote. Hopefully I didn't write any weird words! I'll edit it later when I get to a computer:-)

Have you tried being a wife and taking care of needs in the morning; wink wink.... Hubby and I are so exhausted in the evening that by the time we hit the bed we fall asleep very fast. But, in the a.m. we can do the deed and it kind of puts a smile on our faces and start the day out happy and refreshed, lol. Kind of motivates us.. as in.. hey we just did that, hehe, what else can we get done today. Also makes us connect first thing in the morning and keeps the motivation of satisfying the other all day (not sexually, but things that the other wants done around the house, cooked, or honey do lists).

Keep up the good work. Sounds like you are doing your best right now!

You are just tired, and when you get tired all the little things seem bigger. Find time to take a power nap so you can get your mind back, and it will all come together.
Demand an "hour of silence" every day. The family will get used to it and it will give you the power to trudge on.

I'm a pack rat and my new husband is so NOT! So I have just taken a little at a time and really downsized. I just ask myself, do I really need this? Do I really LOVE it? If not, it goes to Goodwill. Same thing with the kids toys. They don't appreciate what they have when they simply have so much! So just take a few minutes every day and get rid of things. It makes you feel better and also easier to keep up with cleaning etc. Find some easy tips for cooking too...I brown about 6# of hamburger at a time and put in small gladware containers in the firdge to use for recipes. Same thing for chicken, put a bunch in crockpot with a little seasoning and cook on low all day. Shred and use in tacos, burritos, salads, sandwhiches, etc. Same thing for the beef. And I make a big salad and keep in the fridge so we always have salad. Our house is not spotless but I'm not embarrassed if anyone stops by. After work hubby and I try to just do a few things to keep up with and then on the weekends will sweep, mop, dust, etc. But not all on the same weekend! Life really is just too short. Pick your battles and figure out what is most important, and the rest can just wait! Good luck!

I've threatened many times to bulldoze the whole lot and start over again.

I make lists of things to do in order of importance. Guess how long it's been since I vacuumed? Yeah, it's just not up there on that list, and it's not happening today! Sometime's you just have to say 'screw it all!', refocus, take a day to level your head, THEN tackle it.

No one will judge you if everyone has cereal for dinner once in a while ;)

Get the kids on board and make sure they're doing their own chores and cleaning up after themselves. Multitasking is learned, not inherited... and practice makes perfect!

I'm still getting the hang of 3 kids, housework, work-work, homework, fun stuff, my relationship, etc... just day a day off, lounge in your jammies, and laugh at that big @ss pile of laundry ;)

Stephanie, as you see, you are not alone......every mom, every single mom goes through the same thing....part of being a mom I guess!
The only thing that works for me is just LITTLE BY LITTLE EVERY DAY.
For instance, after I take a shower in the morning, I immediately clean or "refresh" the bathroom, take the trash, pick up the stuff from the counters and put them in a drawer, and wipe all over. (deep cleaning on a other day!) That takes less than 10 min.!
I use a couple of baskets upstairs and at the end of the stairs, and the kids have to pick up stuff and toys that is out of place in that basket, the same with the basket upstairs. Laundry: 3 times a week, and I do it when I am completely sure that all the process will be D. immediately (drying and folding). The kids help to distribute the clothes in each room, and the little one sort out the socks for every one!
Every day I do a little in each room, and during the weekend I declutter the counters in the kitchen and somewhere else (pencils, papers, bills to pay) besides a more deep cleaning in bathrooms and kitchen.
As soon as I get the mail, I throw away the junk (recycle bin) and I put the bills to pay on a wall organizer hung just by the phone. All these little things create clutter and don't let our house to look a little bit better and neat. So that helps too.
Toys? the kids must to clean after they play, and before bedtime otherwise
no more toys! I put some of them in the basement in huge bin, others, a few, in the kids bedroom in just one bin, and another one in the family room. While I am the kitchen cooking meals or preparing snacks, I clean
the counters and do the dishes. Every time you are in some place in your home, do something little, the problem sometimes is that we let everything for later or half way because we are tired...but later is worse. My mom used to say: "Do the right thing the first time, and you won't have to do it twice".
Having a weekly menu that you prepare in advance during weekends helps a lot, or at least some idea of what you are going to eat the first 3 days of the week, so you can buy, cut an freeze some things and get ready for several days. I do that with meat sauce for pasta, ground beef and ground chicken for hamburgers, tacos, onion (I chopped it and freeze it, the same with the green and red peppers); rice, lasts several days in the refrigerator, lasagna, etc.
Choose a day for vacuum and moping, I usually do it Mondays and Thursdays, vacuuming is D. more often though.
This is some of the things I do to make my life easier..but remember just little by little and do it immediately. Have the kids to help you, small things for small kids and big things for big kids.

Heh- my partner and I get to this point all the time. We simply remind ourselves that we are the ones reacting to the situations and as humans, we need to stop and laugh. The kidlet can indeed go to bed without a bath, the laundry can wait one more day and guess what, most of our friends homes look the same as ours does. Sometimes we look at the mess, grab a bottle of wine and two glasses and retreat to the front porch.

I know this is easier said than done, but you need to set time limits. Allot 30 minutes for laundry, 30 minutes for kitchen cleanup, 30 minutes for workout, 30 minutes for reading to kids, 30 minutes for cleaning out a drawer or sorting toys for Goodwill, etc etc. In reality, to complete ALL the laundry it may take an hour, sorting through all the toys might take 3 hours, and there is absolutely no way to get through ALL the jobs completely in 1 day. So just tackle a little bit at a time. Set a timer and once you have been folding laundry for the allotted time, move on to the next task. Don't forget to schedule in time for yourself; if you don't add "me time" or "workout" time to your schedule, it won't get done.

I am a bit of a compulsive cleaner and like things to be very neat and organized. But I do recognize that sometimes the time I am spending cleaning is at the expense of my kids and that time would be better spent doing something fun with them. It helps me to remember that even if I get the house spotless, it will be right back to messy within an hour.

Also I would suggest enlisting your 8 year old to help with many of the jobs. When my kids get home from school, it is "clean up time" and they get a list of about 5 jobs, generally putting away all their laundry, emptying wastebaskets, taking out the trash, putting away silverware, cleaning rooms, tidying bathrooms, etc. It teaches them responsibility and helps me immensely. Then we move on to homework and then we can have play time.

Also, it sounds like you are dreading summer and I just wanted to mention that getting out of the house as much as possible in the summer will help. The less time you are at the house, the less mess that can be made there! :) Try to get to the park, the pool, go on walks, go visit Grandma, have fun. I promise it will help!

www.flylady.net

Very helpful site for good time management!

As for the exercise, eating right, etc., start doing O. thing every day. Even if it's taking a 15 minute walk after dinner or during your lunchtime.

I know exactly how you feel. I am looking at a huge pile of laundry right now wishing it would just GO AWAY. I have a full load of dishes that need to go in the dishwasher and about 35 minutes of dishes that have to be washed by hand. I want to throw everything away and start all over because then there wouldn't be so much to put away/clean up/dust etc.
Right now my particular idea is to completely empty out a room and only move back the stuff we absolutely need and want. It hasn't happened yet, but that is my idea. I also want to find some kind of realistic schedule of house cleaning that actually works for me. Right now, all I can do is remain just above "disaster" level on the house -- and I only work part-time from home.
The only thing that is saving my sanity for the summer (when oldest child will be home all day!!!) is that I have a couple of neighborhood girls who come over to watch/play with them. It's way cheaper than daycare, they are still right there with me all day (so I don't feel like I'm missing out on their lives while I'm working), but I can still concentrate on work or even get some housework done without them immediately messing it right back up.
A few things that have worked for me: only one kind of toy out at a time (but this has to be enforced by you which isn't always easy when you are trying to work too), designating a play area and then forcing myself to not care what it looks like (I make time to "help" my kids clean it up every few weeks), giving chores to my oldest (youngest isn't old enough for that yet) and making sure he does them -- yes it actually takes longer for the stuff to get done that way, but I'm hoping in the long run that it will even things out.
It is a never ending job. My DH works full-time -- usually 60+ hours a week and my hours are only part-time, so I don't kick him off the couch to help out when he is relaxing in the evening. However, since you are full time and so is he, if you are not relaxing because there is still more work to be done then he should not be relaxing either -- because it isn't YOUR work it is FAMILY work.
I know it is overwhelming, I have felt that way too, but somehow it gets done and we all live another day. Good luck!

8 is old enough for chores. Put your daughter to work! If she's not good at doing that stuff now, teach her.

I know, I feel like I'm constantly chasing my tail as far as keeping the house picked up.

I try to pick one big housecleaning chore to do a day so I don't feel overwhelmed. For example, my week looks something like this. (I do it either before my kids are up or during nap/quiet time)
Mon.- laundy
Tue.- mop floors
Wed.- vacuum
Thurs.- laundry again/ clean windows
Fri.- clean bathrooms/dust
Sat./Sun - not worth trying everyone's home & it's crazy

I keep lists of everything I have to get done for the week, it really helps me to feel more in control and organized with everything.

Housekeeper.

I won't pretend otherwise. When I got to the ponit you are at and my husband would ask every single night... "tonight?" Um... no dear- I still have three loads of laundry and lunches to pack and it's 10:00pm... we knew that something had to change. I thought it was out-of-reach for us too (before I took a different job), but the average rate for a housekeeper here is $20/hour (many will do laundry too). I'm not talking about having someone EVERY week, just twice a month and you will be surprised at how much time you get back! I know that you say you can't downsize further, but it may be worth it to have your time and sanity back.

Otherwise:
- hire a teen to watch the kids on the cheap for a few hours each week after school so you can get some housework done
- chore chart for all of you
- little laundry each night
- take a day off once in a while from work and just get caught up (my old "fix" for the problem). I would schedule a doctor's appt in the morning and take a "personal day"... stay home and clean clean clean and cook cook cook to get stuff in the freezer.

You know it's funny, as I was just considering writing a similiar post. I may still get around to it as my situation is different. I really got p.o'ed at my 9 year old daughter this weekend. She said to me "all the other moms do that stuff for their kids."

You can only do what you can do. I do not know if you have enrolled your 8 yr old into household chores (assuming you must be all of the other moms lol), but she should be responsible for part of the household as well. She can put her laundry on hangers and put it away, take care of the leftover food after dinner, set the table, wash dishes, put away dishes, vacuum her room and common areas, and tidy the bathroom that she uses. I'm sure there's lots more you can think of for her to do to share the responsibility. I grew-up having chores, but even though my daughter exaggerates, there are many kids who no longer share the household responsibilities.

Another thing that I have come to embrace is that most people do not have spotless homes. I'm tired of trying to keep up with the Joneses. I work full time and we are involved in so many activities. I just don't care that the house is "lived in."