The Jealous Ex Wife

Hi L.,
It sounds like she is looking for a conflict. Don't play into it or it will just feed the problem. I would suggest going around her, and not confront her. As long as you maintain a good relationship with the children, they will always keep you informed and there is nothing she can do about it. As for the school, have your husband say your email is HIS secondary or home email address. If there are any other problems with parent/teacher involvement see what the schools policies are on tutor involvement. Find the detours for the roadblocks she puts up. But don't confront her, it will just cause more issues and fuel her to be more vengeful. And nothing makes a drama queen more upset then not getting the drama she was looking for. Hope this helps. Hang in there!
H.

Trying to get through the bureaucracy's of school policy can be difficult. What might be easier then changing it would be to get around it. Although you are not the "biological parent", you are married to the children's father. If the school policy states that yourself cannot receive communication from the school, your husband has every right too. I would suggest having all correspondence sent to him and he can forward it to you. That way you still can receive all the reports. If your husband's email has the ability, he can set up a filter so all email's from the school automatically are forwarded to your email.

Sounds like the ex is coming from a place of jealousy and insecurity. Sadly, her children will suffer. I think the best response is no response at all. If you can get the school information through your husband, do that. I'm sure you really feel like you've been slapped in the face, but try to rise above it. Continue to help, guide and nurture the children as you have been. Getting into some kind of contest with their mother will only hurt them.
Good luck.

I understand your anger towards his ex and also your love and caring for your husband's children. I raised my husband's son since he was two years old and am grandma to his kids. What I think about the ex is that she is feeling guilty about not taking care of her kids, so she is trying to feel involved by doing this. I don't think that there is anything you can do about it (besides having your husband automatically forward that email to you). But all three of you DO know that YOU are the one that takes care of them. That can be enough. Show the kids that there is always a way to work things out and be reasonable, even when the other party isn't. They know who loves them. Good luck!

You have a right to have the school inform you as well. You are their mother as well. You AND your husband need to make an appointment with the Principal so you can show him/her that you are a responsible parent and serious about being involved in your children's lives. Request in person to the Principal that you would like to be on the list of being informed. You don't know what the x-wife is saying (that you are married or not), so having your husband there, the Principal will see that you are married and that you have the right to be informed. If that doesn't work, go to the District Office.

Hi L.,

It's sounds to me that the ex wife is being very petty. If you are good enough to care for her children on a day to day basis, then surely receiving email commnunication from the school should not be a problem. I say have your husband forward the emails to you and do not involve the school. Why stoop to her level?