Tantrums in a 1 Year Old

I don't have any advice for you K.. But I love the advice the other moms are giving! You gals should give advice to Beth L. Her 13 month old has tantrums. She getting advice from a bunch of moms whose children are 18 months old. Yes, I did say 18 months old. It's a big difference (developmentally) than 13 months old. They're advising her to put her 13 month old in time out for throwing tantrums, that's what they do to their "18 month olds". She could really use the advice you've recieved.

When she throws a fit grab a toy that she likes to play with. Sit as far away from her as you can, but within her line of sight. And you start playing with the toy. when she comes over start playing with her for a few min. Then while playing with her tell her you understand her frustration. This helped with my daughter. BTW is your daughter sleeping napping well?

Thank Goodness I am not alone with this problem. My 14 month old does this too, but only to me, not even his dad. His dad thinks I have "trained" him to do this but I disagree. I think she is testing her boundaries and you just have to keep ignoring it and giving negative feedback. She will lose interest. It is hard though, so somtimes I have to pull myself from the situation and let dad handle it. Sometimes I try and divert his attention which often works but I fear that will only make the problem worse in the long run. Be patient,hold your ground and be firm. If she learns that her actions dont get any results she wont waste her time.

Yes, welcome to the terrible two's a bit earlier than the name would suggest! I have two girls (4 yrs and 19 mo) and girls can be quite dramatic to say the least. Most of the time, ignoring the tantrum is the best option. You can also try distracting her by singing some of her favorite songs softly. We love the Grumpy song by Music for Aardvarks. "If you want to be a grump, that's ok. But could you be grumpy kinda further away. It's not that I don't love you, 'cause you know I do. Sometimes I'm grumpy too." You can check out the music video and hear the whole song on Noggin.com. With my older daughter, I insist that go to her room to calm down and then join us when she is able to talk like a big girl. That won't work just yet for you, though. Good luck! It will pass . . .

Happy birthday! Welcome to the "terrible twos." I know it seems early but every child is different. I've heard it said that the "terrible twos" are from 18 months to 36 months.

I found that ignoring the tantrum worked. As my children got older, I told them that they could cry and fuss all they wanted but they'd have to do it in the bathroom (or bedroom or another room where the sound could be contained and they'd be away from us). That way they could fuss but not disturb the family. Removing them was a great tool but a 1 year old is too young for that part.

Anyway, hope you get a lot of good advice but remember: FOLLOW YOUR GUT above all else!

Our number 1 rule is that you NEVER get what you want when you throw a tantrum -- not even when the tantrum is over. This has helped a lot.

Keeping your child in a structured routine may help reduce the number of tantrums. Think boot camp have them eat, sleep, and play on a schedule. Our two year old has been difficult but the more we stick to the routine the easier life becomes. Also make sure you are including some fun time like going to the park or other activities. Sometimes the child just needs to be entertained. It is easy to get stuck in the staying home routine all the time. Both of you need some "playtime".

It's possible that she's teething, and most babies, from experience of just being around a lot of infants, it can be pretty rough and quite trying for you, as well as, the baby. My pediatrician says that it actually radiates through to the ears and is very painful at times. She could have stomach issues that are related to what she's eating / drinking. What's different that she's taking in daily, etc.? Seperation anxiety is what occurs around that age too. So many factors. You have to go with your instincts "most of the time" and you'll usually be right in the end, but "always" check for fever and call your babies doctor.
Good luck.
p

Well I've been there done that. I have a 5 year old and I'm expecting my 2nd child. I think she may be learning to test her boundaries. I say continue with the ignoring. Make sure she is not in an area where she can hurt herself and you leave the room. Just tell her in a nice calm voice that when she is done you will be in the other room. Eventually entertaining herself will becfome boring and she will stop.

My little girl is almost 14 months and she has been having tantrums for a few months now. They've just started getting worse. She plops to the floor and hurls herself backward! I can't tell you how many times she's done this on the kitchen floor! Of course that makes it worse, because now she's hurt herself. She does it so fast it's rare that I make it to her in time to prevent the inevitable bumped head.
Usually, she has these fits because she wants attention or she's tired. After I get her calmed down, I'll either take her to her bedroom to play for a little while or I'll lay her down in her crib for a nap. I have tried ignoring her, but she gets so worked up, she'll make herself sick. Oh, and when she's really upset and crying, she won't stop to catch a breath and will turn blue in the face! She's done that since she was born.
I can't say that I have any advice quite yet, but you are not alone!! ;)

My son is 5 and has pretty bad tantrums sometimes. They started when he was around 1 and usually only when he was with me. My then husband wondered what I was doing to him. We started out with ignoring the tantrum when it was safe to do so. I made sure that he didn't hurt anywhere and would walk away after telling him when he could be nice we could do whatever it was that the tantrum was about.
Things got really bad during the divorce and we ended up taking him to a child psychologist. She said that we just needed to be firm and consistent and ignore the tantrum. She also said it was separation anxiety. She told me to let my mother take him to school for me and to as much as possible leave him at home with others, even for 10 minutes, and return. This will show them that mom will come back. They also get worse when he is tired, so after a bad one I make sure he gets plenty of extra time to sleep for a few days.

It is hard at this age when they can't speak to you so you don't know if something is wrong. Once you can rule that out, you may try walking away. Have you had any changes in lifestyle or in her normal routine? She may just be wanting your attention. How about a nap? Distraction works well too.

Good Luck,
T.

Kayrn,ahh, yes. i have been there. i have twins. my best advice is first of all, make sure she isn't feeling bad. (teething, allergies, etc.) my son's tantrums tend to be worse when he is feeling bad. if all is okay, i would definitely go with helping her to focus attention on other things when the tantrums start. she does have to learn this is unacceptable behaivor, but she is still very young. i would just have a toy, book or activity on hand for when these tantrums occur. (even a movie, gulp...i know tv isn't the best, but when you are trying to get some work finished, a little sesame street isn't too bad!) good luck, and remeber these words. "this too, shall pass." i took great comfort in that when the twins were one! take care, God bless, Lee

My daughter just turned 1 last month and she has been doing the same thing. I just try to get down on the floor and play with her as much as I can after work and on the weekends. That seems to help a little bit. Sometimes when she gets started there is just nothing I can do about it. Try picking her up and walking around with her and showing her things and let her see what you are doing. Also, take her outside and sit with her and walk around with her. That seems to help with mine. Good Luck!

My son has been doing this on and off for a year (he is about to be 2). Ignoring a tantrum is the best thing you can do. First, be sure you are really ignoring it. I know it sounds stupid, but so many people think they are ignoring a tantrum when they are slowly feeding it ("Are you OK now? No, OK I'll check on you again in a minute").
I made a tantrum spot that is soft and safe and he can flail and kick the ground.
For the neediness - she's probably still young enough that some quick one-on-one before things like starting dinner or taking a bath will satiate her if you can move her directly into another activity like banging pots around. Of course she will have times that won't work, but if she works herself into a fit take her to her safe spot (not the same as a time out, just where she won't get hurt) and let her be mad. Say things in a low, calm voice like "I can't hear whining." She may not understand but if you keep it consistent she'll get the routine down until she can understand the words.