Summer Sports

If he doesn't want to play sports, don't make him, but he doesn't just get to be lazy. I'd tell him he can choose a sport, or he can help you complete housework or home/yard improvement projects that are guaranteed to be more difficult and not nearly as enjoyable.

ETA: I agree with others that it doesn't have to be an organized sport--biking, kayaking/canoeing, swimming, fishing, golf, ultimate frisbee, frisbee golf, etc...lots of ways to be active without committing to a team sport.

I'd plan on going to the Y several times per week and do open swim for the whole time. I'd go to the park or on a bike hike and find things to do as a family.

There are many ways for all of you to keep busy and become closer as a family.

We don't make the older kids sign up for anything. At that age the other kids deserve to have a teammate that is at the very least interested. If their hearts aren't in it they aren't going to play worth anything.

Help the older one develop habits that will stay with him his whole life.

In our home we NEVER let the inmates run the asylum. You could sign him up for a sport as well as remove the gaming system, controllers, and/or games.

We did this with our kids. Daily it would be a random thing removed from the gaming system so he couldn't play it. It was so much fun for us as parents. One day we left the entire system set up but took the power cords to the TV and computer.

Our boys are now 18 and 19. Sometimes I miss the good old days. (I'm brilliantly evil when they push me.) LOL

I agree with the moms who say that may be very unfair and unkind to the kids who really are into their particular team sport.
And maybe your kid just doesn't care for sports? Not everyone does.

I did/do... but as a kid, I didn't do organized summer sports. Not many kids did! It wasn't like it is today. We were "latch key" kids in the summer, and we played out side all day long... riding bikes, hiking in the woods, climbing on the monkey bars/swingsets, trampolines, slip n slides, climbing trees... yes, all those "dangerous" things. Mostly without adult supervision, too.

We probably would have spent a lot of time indoors, too, except the a/c didn't get set on 74 and left on all summer long. We had windows/screens and open to the outside--no a/c until 4th of July (it was my Dad's grand idea). And it is sweltering with humidity here. It was just plain cooler outside than inside. So we did stuff outside.
Brother and I played one-on-one football, basketball, and baseball, too. And we'd ride our bikes 4 miles to the high school to play tennis on the courts, and then ride home again (that was an all afternoon endeavor). And yes, we'd stop at the corner store for a soda and to stick some quarters into the Centipede arcade machine, while we cooled off, before making the bike ride home. I was about 12, brother was 14.

Make being inside sitting a little uncomfortable. Maybe set a time limit (or certain days?) for the electronics/TV... and make reading also mandatory.
My "nonreader" son (he haaates reading) is currently reading (and almost finished with) Stephen King's Salem's Lot. It's nearly 700 pages... and he's read most of it in less than a week. He plans to be done before Friday (only 100 pages left). And he is liking it a little at this point.

Get creative in how you approach it, and don't make it sports only or else.
Does he have a bike? Get him some sort of distance reading device (or let him use your phone?)... and challenge him to ride a certain number of miles per week. Or a pedometer, and challenge him to a certain number of steps. Or get a stopwatch and see how long it takes him to run a half mile, and challenge him to beat it by 20 seconds by the end of July--with a reward if he does it.
My 12 year old (almost 13) is going out for cross country in the fall. To qualify for the team, they must run a 5k in under 30 minutes. She can run a mile in under 8 minutes now, with no practice or training, but she has never attempted a 5k distance... so we'll see how it goes. Practices started this week and it's something she wants to do. But you could set up similar challenges and let him figure out how to accomplish the goal.

Don't limit it to sports. Our community center has all kinds of summer things for kids. Mine did cooking, art, woodworking and mad science classes.
Staying physically active during the summer is easy, just take your kids outside several times a week. We did walks/hikes, bike rides, roller/ice skating, played ball at the park, and went to the pool.
Getting out and about was crucial not only for my kids' health but my sanity!

You could tell him that he can either pick a sport, or you will find a few hours of work around the house for him to do (you know, cleaning the bathrooms, yard work, laundry...). I'll bet you he picks a sport less than 10 minutes after you tell him that.

I would not sign sign him up for a sport.
Some kids just aren't sporty.
I would have hated that if my parents "made me" do that.
Think of it this way, I would have had to leave my house every day, not
be able to relax a little, have to socialize w/kids when I'm already
uncomfortable. I just dread it thinking of it FOR him.
Could you think of something else for him to do?
Could you have a standing day or two during the week where you take
him & one of his friends to the park with soccer, basketball stuff? Pack
lunches so they can eat at picnic tables when they get hungry?

Don't put him on a team - if his hearts not in it he'll let the team down.
Try swimming lessons or taekwondo or science day camp.
Regardless - time the video/tv/computer time and set a limit (like 2 hours).
When the time is used up, the electronics get turned off/powered down and the couch is off limits.
He can read, play out side, clean the garage/cars/porches, wash windows, learn to do laundry, clean the bathrooms, etc.
If 'he's bored' give him something to do - weed the garden, build a water rocket, learn a new card game.
There's no excuse for being bored and kids around me don't tell me that more than once or twice because I'll put them to work if they are not creative enough to think of something on their own.

Take away the video games and the ability to watch TV. NO electronics of any kind. If you put up with either of them calling the shots, you will end up with the laziest teens known to mankind, and snotty brats to boot.

Find a soup kitchen or homeless shelter for them to work in with you. A food bank needs help carting boxes. Several times doing this will help them see people in need AND make them think twice about turning down other summer activities.

You should also have them doing summer bridge activities - math and reading. Library books should be required. Let them check out what they want, even if it includes comic books. The graphic novel is very worthwhile.

Really and truly, if he doesn't want to do sports, then he should have to do academics. But throwing them out of an air-conditioned house into the heat, at the park, etc, should have him interested in the swimming pool. If he doesn't know how to swim, he might be much more interested in learning if he's not comfy in the house all the time...

If a child doesn't want to play a particular sport, I am not inclined to make them. I am inclined to encourage them and/or force them be active in some way.

So, he doesn't want to sign up for a sport...that's fine; however, every day for a set amount of time (maybe equal to the time that he would otherwise be at a practice or game....2 hours or so) he MUST be active (riding a bike, swimming, skating, something). In addition, I would probably restrict video game time as well (or at least say...no electronics from 1-3, or something like that).

He may find that he enjoys swimming, biking, etc. and will want to do more of it on his own.

Do your local schools offer any sports camps? That way he gets out of the house to be active but it's a short commitment for both of you and he can try a different sport the next week/month. Our high schools offer tennis, football, basketball, volleyball, and soccer camps over the summer; most last 3-5 days and are only a couple of hours a day.

I would not just sign him up. Nothing worse than forcing a preteen to play something they don't like. I would look at schools in your are--or maybe the park district--and see if they have anything he might be interested in. One of the colleges by me offers classes for grades 5 through 8, sometimes freshman year also. One class is engineering or robotics.

Can you find other things to do to keep him active? Summer is the one season where we don't do sports with our kids. We prefer to let them be kids and really have total relaxation. They love to go to the pool, and get more exercise there than they would playing a game of ball, which they also do in the yard with friends. Unstructured activity rules our summers.

Also, the other parents won't like it. I hate when kids who obviously don't WANT to play are on my kids teams. My kids are very dedicated to their sports and the kids who don't want to be there slow everyone down. Please, don't force him to play a sport...find something else for him.

Nightly family walks or bike rides? Hikes? Swimming? Just normal outside playing? Don't force structure on him if he doesn't want it.

We do a time limit on screen time (TV, computer, tablet, gaming, movies, etc). Mine are younger than yours but you can enforce time limits. I used to live in Alexandria - not too far from you - would he prefer to join a hiking club, swim, play tennis, etc?

Also, I would suggest if he doesn't want to do a sport that he must learn something new - take music lessons, acting, dance, cooking, a foreign language, karate, etc.

Ask son what his friends are doing over the summer - are there any academically minded camps for his age? Engineering, Robotics, Master legos, science, etc. I have my son doing a one week biology camp at the local children's science museum.

Does the library system offer anything for TWEENS?

You may have to do a bit of research here mom, but remind him that he will only have this type of free time in his life for a short time - then make him take advantage of it.

Cheers,
C.

He is a kid, let him relax. Maybe do active thing together. You could take them to the local pool to play and swim. Would you want someone to force you into something on your vacation?

Team sports are only one category of potential summer activity. There are many things you can do to keep kids from sitting in front of the TV all day that don't involve forcing a kid to do something he doesn't like to do.

There are non-team sports like swimming, marital arts and dance. Look into summer camps - they come in all sorts of themes - science, outdoors, artistic, technical, etc. Check locally for workshops and classes that fit his interests through schools, organizations and the library. Go to the pool or beaches for swimming, take them to the park, go on walks in town or on hikes in rural areas, start a 'family book club', check out museums, go bowling, play laser tag, camp in your backyard, have board game night, etc.

what about martial arts? or just arts? music something? reading challenge? those mind olympic type things? My kids (boy 12 and girl 10) have been in martial arts since ages 4 and 6 and they love it!! but they choose not to play team sports.......yet., except just for fun with friends.

my plan for the summer is... about 30 minutes of school work in the morning.. then we will go someplace the zoo .. the park.. the library..meet up with friends.. we will be up and out of the house..

if we are back home in the afternoon.. they can play video games for 30-60 minutes.. but there will be a limit.. just set a limit on tv and video games..

Set a deadline for him to pick something to do. If not you pick. He was forewarned.

We told our older daughter to pick an activity or we would pick it for her. She picked dance.

If you sign him up for a sport that he doesn't want to play, you are wasting your money and the coach's time, because he is not going to put forth any effort.

My daughter played video games over the summer when she was a kid. She also rode her bike, went swimming, did the summer reading program at the library, and volunteered.

I would encourage him to choose an organized activity, but not necessarily a sport.