Strict Schedule

A.,
Every child is different so it's hard to say what will or won't work for your family. With my both my children, we worked around the family schedule. We try to get them to bed every night right about the same time - but if we run a little late one night, it's not a big deal.

When they were babies, we had a cradle in the family room - so they would sleep through the noise and the house didn't have to be quiet for them to nap. I didn't want to have to worry about a dog barking or someone coming to the door; I could vacuum, do laundry, talk on the phone... It worked beautifully. If we were out and they needed to sleep - they could sleep anywhere. In the car, in their car seat, stroller.. whatever because the noise didn't bother them.

Too strict of a schedule, in my opinion, is detrimental - especially one they can start exerting their opinion and control over situations (which you aren't far from!). If you are a little flexible - on special occassions, or when they are with Grandma & Grandpa, there will be less stress for everyone! But, again, every child and family is different - find what works for you and go with it!

Good luck and God Bless-
C.

I respect my child's need to sleep, therefor I'm very protective of the nap schedule.

My personal belief is that children are members of the family and have needs. If we respect their basic needs, feed them, allow them rest, give them space to be the little people they are then they respect us more when it comes to tougher things like discipline. If we constantly yank the rug out form under them, don't allow them to rest or be fed on a schedule as expected, then why should they respect our needs for correct behaviour and other things? Respect is a two way street, and its starts with us.

If a family member was ill and needed rest throughout the day would 'the family' be so h*** o* them? No? Then why give you grief over allowing a small child the rest they crave?

Don't get me wrong, I hated the nap schedule and being away from fun things, but it was best for everyone involved that my child was rested and happy. Now that they're older and they can stay up late occasionally its been more fun and we have no problems whatsoever with them no sleeping in other locations. Its a small sacrifice and its not forever. GL! And tell the parents to back off :-)

This is all a personal choice and what works better for your family. We had a schedule that was able to be stretched from time to time and i didn't really ever leave anything early just because it was nap time, we left when we knew for sure that they needed a nap and they told us they needed sleep not that the clock said they needed a nap. My sil has a son who had such a strict schedule that if it was interferred with at all it was the end of the world and it really made planning to do things quite difficult because it all had to be planned around tthe clock. I say let your daughter learn to sleep other places, get used to change but keep bed times more strict than nap times. Like i said its all up to what works best for your family. We are on the go a lot and try to see and do different things so we need kids who can adapt to this as well.

Our pediatrician has two daughters. The first one was not on a schedule, was a poor sleeper, slept with her and her hubby, and the parents hated it. The child (now 9) is a good sleeper and adaptable to different environments. Our doc swore the next child would sleep.

They put her second on a strict schedule, and the baby only slept in her crib. The schedule worked at home, but the child (now 7) will not sleep anywhere but her own bed. Traveling is a nightmare. She won't even stay in grammies bed (who lives with them), or spend the night with a friend. She never napped in the car... The family took a two week trip to Bangladesh and the poor girl never slept.

I also have a SIL who is the mother of a 3 year old and twin 1 year old girls. She works outside the home, and the daycare provider required the kids be taking a nap at 10:00 and 1:00 at 3 months, then only 1:00 by 12 months. She did a great job putting them on an eating and sleeping schedule. It worked for the toddler until he was 2, and now he goes to bed later and has a hard time sleeping through the night. The twins have up and down times.

Do you plan on having more children? Will you be able to hold 2 schedules like this?

I think schedules are great for some families. I do think you have to be a little flexible from time to time so when (not if, when) there is the occasion you have to break it, you don't have a nightmare.

I believe rest is very important. I have three girls. My youngest has 3 naps a day because she is only 5 months but sleeps the same time our other daughters do. My middle child takes 2 naps a day. My oldest has one nap a day and if she doesn't then she is so wired. Everyone sleeps at around 8 to 830pm. Both my older girls sleep through the night. My youngest wakes up one time to eat around 1am then sleeps until morning.

In our family, we have a flexible daily schedule but I do try to put them to nap around the same time. They are happy and it makes our whole family happy!

We have a fairly strict schedule, but we also stretch it for special things. We usually plan to have a day to make up for it. Our 2 1/2 will sometimes lay down with his blanket on the couch and sleep. Don't tell him that because he swears he doesn't. :) He'll still take his normal nap. I think when kids have a good routine, they can then learn how to be flexible with it. A little flexibility is a great thing. You have to decide how much you're willing to give. Can you do lunch with family and then have nap at 12:30 or 1:00? What if you stay at friends until 8 and then cut the bedtime routine down, with no nap, etc to make up some of the time. We've noticed that if we fudge a bit (no more than an hour) we can usually do okay with it and the sleep is made up on the other end, or the next day with a longer nap, etc. I think the key is a schedule, though. It still has to be the norm, but it doesn't have to be an unbreakable rule. Next week for Easter our little ones will probably go without naps, but we are planning nothing else for the week, so the little people of the family have plenty of time to make up the sleep as they feel the need.

Well A., I'm the same way.
I have 3- 6, 5 and 22 months. They've all done great on a schedule. Kids love to have something to count on. My kids fall asleep sooo fast because they have the same routine for sleeping every day. I like it. I think it's good for their little bodies.

Ugh as an uncle and I also see it from relatives and family friends it's so frustrating when parents have their children on such a strict schedule.... Such as naps... They must have their kids down at this specific time and yeah a leeway of a few minutes and everyone has to go around "your schedule" it has to be on your/around your time. It's like for instance holidays parents that have their kids too patterned have this routine that they like to follow and if it's a few minutes late these parents go crazy because they want "their kids" to be on time for their naps. It makes holidays for relatives and family not that enjoyable because we have to go by your damn time frame or else patterned parents throw a fit because they want their kids on schedule. Just let your kids cry and if they are tired let them fall asleep where ever you are instead of always running home because you want your kids right in that "routine". Such a disservice to your kid/kids being so rigid.

So effin WHAT if you disrupt their schedule... By having your kids on such a "strict schedule" you are growing your kids up to be anal retentive. Damn right you should go with the flow on weekends or special occasions unless you want seriously pissed off relatives and friends because when they are with you, you not only dictating your kids "schedule" but your friends and family then have to do everything around your damn schedule. If you seriously want your friends and family to NOT want to come around and hang with you then by all means do your "strict scheduling" but "strict scheduling" will come with a steep steep price (friends will start to abandon you and family will be super pissed off and start to exclude you and your family).

Sorry Britta but like you say you have your kids "on the same routine every day". Yeah the kids might like it but it irritates friends and family because parents like you want your kids to be on this "pattern" and you want them to take naps always at this "specific time", have lunch and dinner at this exact time and you have your kids so patterned that your kids expect everything at their specific time. It irritates people because they are fearful that if they aren't going around your damn schedule for your kids then you throw a fit because you don't want to throw your kids off any kind of routine. Parents that have their kids on such strict schedules/routines it puts friends and family on edge and makes them so uptight because it has to be around "you kids routine". Parents like you need to relax, get over your fear that if little Johnny instantly cries you need to take him home, put him down for "nap" just to get him to not cry. Ugh soooo irritating.

I totally agree with Sarah K's comment about "My sil has a son who had such a strict schedule that if it was interfered with at all it was the end of the world and it really made planning to do things quite difficult because it all had to be planned around the clock." Totally train your kids to sleep elsewhere and quit it with constantly simply rushing home for your kids nap's etc.. By having your kids on such a strict schedule and always having to "rush home" for their schedule you’re patterning your kids to run and dictate your life. Training your kids to sleep where ever you are and when "they are tired" not necessarily when you want them to sleep then you the parents can relax and put friends and family at ease because we don't constantly feel the "pressure" around your time frame and your kids and sleep when ever and where ever they are, eat when ever etc....

I disagree with Whizzy's comment.... No don't let parents back off, why should parents, relatives, uncles and aunts let you the "parents" dictate not only your kids time but also everyone else's time, you have to have dinner for little Johnny at 5:30 no if's and or buts it has to be at that time, you have to have little Johnny nap at his home at 2:00 while you’re at a party and so oh everyone has to be around your clock and it's like oh time to go home for his nap and everyone has to be around your time frame. Then you parents that are so "time oriented/strict scheduling" when like little Johnny is down for nap then it's all hush hush everyone has to keep quiet so your damn kid doesn't wake. NO train your kids to "adapt", if you’re at a party or dinner let them cry it out, let your kids just fall asleep where ever you are. Just quit it with everyone and it always has to be around your schedule.... Lunch doesn't have to be specifically at 12:00; dinner doesn't specifically at 5:00. Lunch, dinner, naps should be when ever. When I become a parent I sure am not going to let my kids dictate my life such as being at a fun party and oops time to go for his nap at home. NO if the kid's tired let the kid take a nap there or where ever you are.

Ugh it was soooo nice and such a relief at a Christmas party this year and my friends put down their kids and the nice thing about the party was nobody had to be quiet; we didn't have to feel rushed because their kid went to bed and these friends didn't have the "strict schedule". When the kids were tired they went to bed with ease and everyone at this party could carry on without the ok Johnny is asleep everyone hush hush or ok kid going down to bed everyone go home. No everyone carried on with the party the parents put their kids down and continued on with their party.

I'm not going to let "strict scheduled" parents dictate how I live and have to bend my damn schedule around your precious time!! When it comes around other people and holidays you the "strict scheduled" parents have to learn to be FLEXIABLE and if lunch, dinner going to holiday is not exactly at specific time so be it and you parents have to deal with it (I could care less if your kid cries) why do I need to be sympathetic to you because you have your kids on a "strict schedule" and so you expect everyone to bend and be on your damn time schedule. If you have your kids on such a "strict schedule" and if relatives are doing the holiday party then you better be flexible because no one likes to be dictated by time or a "schedule" or then you the parents can stay the hell home and put your little Johny down at his specific time, eat your cold sandwich or lunch and we will go have our holiday.

Why the hell should everyone else have to be around your schedule, bend for you just so you can get your little "patterned" kids home to bed precisely by 6:30, 7:00-7:30 and you patterned parents have to ruin it for everyone else because you want this stupid "strict schedule? NO!!! I don't care if your damn kid cries or whines to you because of your stupid schedule. If lunch is late its late DEAL WITH IT!!! If your kid doesn't make their nap time deal with it I'm not going to change just for you. By having your kids on a "strict schedule" makes you the parents extremely SELFISH because the clock has to revolve around YOU and it becomes about you. It's no wonder that friends and family want to run and not be around because they all have to be around your time!! It's ironic that these parents that have their kids on a "strict schedule" usually want things easy, casual or relaxed but oh wait it has to be around your kids effin schedule well that makes everyone (family and friends) extremely uptight. I can tell you from experience with my brother or sister and their kids that have the "strict scheduling" It's not really that enjoyable to go and hang with them. By having such a rigid "schedule" it ruins the fun for parents, uncles, aunts and friends because of your stupid "rigid scheduling".