So How Hard Is This Going to Be Exactly?

I don't know how hard it will/will not be with the children being close in age my boys are 14 yrs apart and it was hard with me having to deal w/a teenager and his activities and a baby w/acid reflux and sick a lot. I wish i would of been able to have my kids closer in age but i tell you that they are very close and they are wonderful together.
As far as the depression, I dealt with that 1st hand. My youngest son's dad left when i was 14 weeks pregnant and disappeared until my son was nearly 6 months old. I was very depressed, he wasn't me to have an abortion, I had a lot of complications, i was in and out of the hospital. My Dr put me on meds and it did help but it made me to the point that i couldn't feel and i didn't like that. I am a very sensitive person and i didn't have any feelings at all but just be cautious and when and if you wean yourself off just do it slowly cause it will make you an emotional roller coaster if you don't. Good Luck and I hope this helps.
M.

Oh, A.! You will be PERFECT!! My babies are 18 months apart! Yes, there will be times when it's hard keeping an eye on the big Brother while nursing the little one, but it can be handled! I would put my daughter in her high chair and fed her a snack while I nursed her little brother, other times I put in her favorite DVD and that kept her tuned until way after brother's feeding! Enlist the help of big brother when changing diapers, giving baths, if you'll be bottlefeeding, let him hold the bottle! I know it may seem like he'll be too young, but naomi was 18 months and she did very well when I asked for her help. After a while she would become upset when I would change brother without her help! The trick is entertaining the older child so you are able to care for the baby--it's much easier than it sounds! I used to wonder what I was going to do! But do have patience, there are days when Carter will not want to cooperate and it's okay to let him cry! One day recently naomi for whatever reason thought she'd act 2 and cried and cried after all my efforts to appease her as much as I could while nursing brother. It didn't work so I just let her and she fell asleep! It didn't last very long at all. And once you get the little one sleep trained it will be wonderful! I sleep-trained both my kids so it was great that I could put Naomi down in her crib and she'd stay down. Now Daniel takes 2 naps and Naomi one. Daniel's 2nd is Naomi's one so I have one and a half hours to myself. There is way more good than bad, and never an UGLY! Congratulations and GOD bless!

Mine are 21 months apart and it has been a Blessing!
I truly believe attitude has everything to do with it. I am a twin and you have a built in playmate and best friend for life. I think it is easier because they entertain each other at times.
I believe it is all on your outlook. I think you are incredibly Blessed!
All my Best!
D.

A.,
Congrats! Mine are 16 months apart and I agree with the last post I would not have it any other way. We wanted our children close together and thought it would take a few months for us to get pregnant. Not the case it took one month. I had the same feelings you are having right now. I was worried my daughter was to young and I would not be able to give her all the attention she needed. When my son was born yes the first month was the hardest. After you get into a routine things are so much easier. I was lucky my son was a very easy baby. The hardest time we had was when I would breastfeed my daughter took that opportunity to get into anything and everything she was not suppose to. I started asking for her help like getting me bibs, burp clothes, diapers, wipes and whatever else I could think of to keep her busy. Once my son started crawling they became the best of friends. They play and do everything together. It is wonderful having them close in age and after the newborn part is over your son will have a new best friend :).

it will be hard but you can do it. i'm 20 years old and i have 2 kids....10 months apart...very very close...my son is 23 months old and my daughter is 13 months old. my son was 10 months old when i delivered my daughter.it was very hard and it still is, i dont get a lot of help. so its all me, my husband travels. i had the postpartum blues but it went away when my daughter turned 6 months around that time. i am always stressed but not depressed. my kids keep me strong and when i'm down, them smiling will make everything better....good luck!

Hi A.,

My oldest two are 22 months apart. It can be done. I promise. I have friends who've had them 13 months apart! Wowsers! Talk about a double whammy.

The benefits are great. Siblings this close in age, are almost usually close in life.

The benefits...you don't get out of the baby stage long enough to actually "lose grips" on things. You don't forget anything is what I'm saying.

My youngest two are about 3 years apart and by time you hit the 3's you are drifting into preschool so it's a shock when you lose sleep again, back into diapers, etc.

He will never remember a time without his brother or sister.

I will say that involving your toddler in the help and care of the baby will really be beneficial to both him, you and help start that bond.

He can bring diapers, socks, blankets, toys, etc. :) Teach him a song for the baby too. Also, include him in the stories, and believe me, older siblings are great entertainment for babies. :)

The only initial thing you may have to deal with is your toddler not comprehending the arrival of a new baby until the baby is home, and in his territory. There are several great books available to help prepare children for their new siblings arrival, also big brother t-shirts, a big brother gift, etc.

Well, her goes with another of my mom's sayings. "One takesup all of your time so how can two take up any more."

You can do it. Mine were 21 months and 14 months. We all survived!

Hi A.,
I think the crying and feeling overwhelmed is pretty normal in the 1st trimester of pregnancy. You are hormonal. I wouldn't jump to take anything while you are pregnant unless your are 100% sure you are clincically depressed and not just plain hormonal. Medical drugs are so easy to obtain that people are quick to take them and label themsleves as "depressed" simply when they have problems. Being clinically depressed is a sickness and shouldn't be confused with having a bad day or even month. Perhaps you ARE depressed but usually its something you've had all your life and doesnt just pop up b/c you're pregnant. Postpartum is a totally different story all together.

Now about having 2 close together. I was planning my son's 1 yr birthday party when I found out I was almost 3 mos pregnant with my 2nd. They are 19 mos apart. I don't have any family that lives close and my husband works ALOT. I was totally stressed out. Not only was I worried I wasn't going to be able to handle it, but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to love the 2nd one as much as the 1st one. The 2nd pregnancy was also more difficult than the 1st. I gained weight right away, my hips hurt,I COULD BARELY WALK. Lifting my son while I was 9 mos pregnant was very difficult. Bending over to give him a bath was even harder. I was too tired and uncomfortable to play with him. So,I started putting him in daycare 3 days a week so he could have a little fun and give me a little break in my "handicapped" state.
When my daughter was born I fell head over heels in love with her and its amazing how I can love them both SO much.
The first 6 weeks was SO hard but then I got the hang of it. I was breastfeeding every 2 hours,changing diapers every hour,chasing my son around the house to keep him out of trouble,laundry,bathtime,...i lost a lot of weight b/c I'd forget to feed myself. The house was a mess and I'd take a shower maybe 2 times a week if I was lucky but I'd have to wait til my husband got home from work. It was pretty tough but just get past that 1st 6 wks and you'll be ok. God won't give you more than you can handle.
Now my son is 23 months and my daughter is almost 4 months and I've got it down like a pro. The double stroller,baby bouncer, and electric cradle swing are life savers. I'll put the baby in the swing while I feed my son,change his diaper,etc..then I put her in the bouncer and move her from room to room with us, like when I give my son a bath or take him into the playroom. We go on walks and to the park in the double stroller. When we leave the house I always put the older one in the car first while baby is in her swing and then I come back for her and put her in the car. When I'm getting them out of the car and into the house, I take the baby out 1st,put her in her swing, then get my son out.
She's now old enough to where I give them baths together while she lays on one of those mesh bouncers for the bath. She is on his routine and has been sleeping through the night, from 9pm to about 5 am since she was 3 mos old. I wasn't able to get my son to sleep through the night until he was 9 mos old!
Its also good to have a room that you can make your "playroom". A fully childproofed room where the older one can't get into trouble and can just run free,watch tv,play with toys,etc while you breastfeed or sit down for a bit of quiet time with the baby. If you don't already have one,convert a guestroom if you have one...or even the office.
You can even gate in your living room.
Anyway,now that my daughter is a little older and can interact a little more wih her toddler brother, its such a beautiful thing to watch the love develop between them. He makes her laugh like no other and she simply adores him. Although i was terrified at 1st, I am so happy I had them this close in age. They will be the best of friends and take care of each other. Congratulations. Focus on the good. It outweighs the bad... i promise! Not only that but you'll have TWO babies who love you unconditionally. I can never explain the feeling of having one child kissing you on the cheek and saying " i lub you" from under 1 arm while the other one is gazing up at you adoringly with a big fat smile that says i love you from under the other arm. Its priceless. :)

My twins were 17 months old when my youngest was born. My recommendation is to get the family on a schedule as soon as possible. That way you will always know what comes next in your day. Scheduling definitely helped to save my sanity! :)

D.

Hi A.,
Well my two are 14 months apart and I would not change it one bit. I will say the first 6-9 months are rough. Any support and help that you have, take it. The house will be in disarray for awhile, but now I have time to clean it so it is no big deal (currently they are 2 and 3), although they are still busy people, it is not like it was when I had the second. The things that helped me were:
*my playroom with gates up so that when I was nursing, I could see the toddler and know she was in a safe area until I could get to her.
*my mom helped a lot with the house stuff when she was over
*once the baby could sit in a highchair and eat cheerios or something, that was wonderful
*once they napped at the same time, that was awesome.

It is not an easy road, but by NO means would I change it or have done it differently. Just know it is busy, enlist help (specific help) when needed, and rest when you can---even when the house is a wreck.

As for depression, I did not have depression during my pregnancies, but I did experience something of the sort when the lil' one was about 9 months old. At the time I was running an in-home day care, so after some counseling we determined I was STRESSED and EXHAUSTED. I also started taking about 2500 mg of Omega 3's (I take Nordic Naturals Cod Liver Oil in liquid/flavored). I read you could take 180 mg/every 10 pounds of body weight. This definitely helped me and I still take it daily. The EPA form of the Omega 3's has shown to help with anxiety and depression; even bipolar disorder. If you need more info, feel free to contact me. ____@____.com

Be excited and know that you will make it...look at it day by day, not being overwhelmed at the idea of life with two for the next three years or so.

My oldest two are 20 months, you'll be fine. Remember to take care of yourself too.

A.,
My son was about 18 months old when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter and I was terrified. But it turned out great! Most of the time they play together really well, have similar interests (usually the younger one will get interested in whatever the older one is interested in). I think that if there was a huge gap in their ages, or even more than just a few years, they would not be as close as they will be. From personal experience, my sister and I are two years apart and we grew up pretty close, our brother was eight years younger than me and ten years younger than her and we weren't close to him until recently (as he became an adult). Granted you'll have twice the diaper duty for a bit, and the sibling rivalry is probably more intense with kids who are close in age, but I would definitely rather have my kids close in age.

Congratulations! I have a daughter who is 4 and another daughter who is 2 1/2. They are 19 months apart and I promise it can be done. Actually, I love that I have them so close because now that they are older they always play with each other. You'll quickly get the hang of it and get a routine that works for you. I'm not going to lie to you, it is more difficult with two than with one - but it's nothing you can't handle. Right now I am pregnant with a baby boy who is due in 3 less than 3 weeks....See, if two was that difficult I would in no way be going for 3!

As far as your depression, talk to your doctor. With this pregnancy I was pretty depressed (more that regular hormones) and my doctor was able to prescribe something that really did help. It was safe for the baby and it helped me get back to normal, and I was able to get off of it with no problems.

Anyway, don't worry MOM - you'll do fine. I have lots of friends with kids close together and we all love it. I'm actually only 13 months older than my brother and my mom made it through with flying colors.

Hi A.,

Don't worry yourself! It's not that bad, really!
I just had my 3rd (totally surprise baby) and freaked my whole pregnancy about how am I going to handle 3 kids and two of them are only 2 yrs apart.
Well, everythings working out great and trust me, you'll be thankful in the long run they are close in age. They will grow up very close with eachother and always be best friends. The further apart they are, the harder it can be to bond. My 6 yr old doesn't care to much at all for her 2 yr old brother but my 2 yr old already loves my newborn and I know they're going to be the best of friends.
I wouldn't take any anti depressants at this point. You're body's going through a big change and is very hormonal which could make you feel depressed but you're really not.....
Trust me, you will feel better and everything's going to work out just fine.
I think having number 2 is always kinda scary because you're not sure how to handle another child yet but it comes very natural....
Good luck and congratulations. : )

You will be just fine. Mine are 19 months apart. The first few days were stressful, but then I developed a routine. Every morning I had all the bottles and sippy cups ready to go for the day and snacks and food planed out for myself and my 19 month old. It seemed for me those times were the most stressful. My new born lived in the baby Bjorn for the first few weeks. She only liked it when I was moving so I got lots of vacuuming done.:)It also helped to have my home completely baby proofed, this way I did not have to constantly hover over my 19 month old all the time. Or just create a space in your home that is gated off with all the toys and movies you can think off. (Just incase you doze off from lack of sleep) You are already doing better than I did by thinking ahead. Continue to do that and start preparing now and you will be ready. I agree with another post attitude is everything. Mine are now 10 weeks and 22 months and everything is just fine. I really enjoy the two ages. I always laugh when I get those "you must be crazy looks” from people, it really is not bad at all. For my son he was the perfect age to not get jealous, he loves his baby. The only stress now is ..oops I forgot to feed the dog.

I am 20 years old and I have a 15 month old daughter and a 4 month old son. I work full-time as a HR Assistant for a drilling company. I am constantly stressed, and I also don't get much help from my husband. The stress is not hard to handle, you just have to kind of get into a routine...and I am still not into a good routine after 4 months! When one fusses, it is a chain reaction. Mickey Mouse will become your best friend. My daughter loves to watch MM and most of the time I can get her still enough to watch it for 10 or 15 minutes while I tend to my son. Kind of have to toggle between the two of them. I am up early in the morning, I go to bed late. I have turned to flylady.net to learn how to keep my house in order without taking up so much time doing it. If you have any specific questions you would like to ask, my email is ____@____.com luck with your pregnancy. I will keep you in my prayers.

You'll be fine. I know several people who have done it, including myself. You may have to relax a few rules for the older child. For example, my 2 year old now gets to watch more videos than he used to so it gives me time to handle the baby. I still don't allow TV - only videos so I know exactly what he is watching. I would invest in a good sling for the baby so you can handle both at once - and start now making your older child walk rather than be carried places. You don't want it to be a shock for him that mommy suddenly stops carrying him because there is a baby now. Anything you plan on giving the baby that was once his should be phased out starting now for the same reason. (His room, toys, a crib, etc.)

I have known people who took Prozac during pregnancy, but no experience with it myself when pregnant. If you really need it, then talk with your doctor. If you haven't already I would join a moms' group and develop a strong support system. My group really made me feel better. I had so many people offering to watch my toddler for me for those first few weeks. Even though I never took them up on it, it really took away worry and provided me with the security and confidence I needed.

My children are 9 1/2 years apart in age..I was planning on an only child..didn't take my pills regularly and got pregnant. I thought I would lose it...my poor husband didn't know what to do with me crying like I was. Now, nearly 13 years later I don't know what we would have done without him. I now have my first grandchild on the way with my oldest child and still playing little league baseball with the youngest.
It is natural to feel overwhelmed and it probably will continue to hit you over and over again in the coming years.
you WILL have good, bad and UGLY situations with having children this close in age but I had them too with mine spread apart.
Just remember that they are little blessings from God. Enjoy them as they grow up way too fast.
I am sure what you are feeling is natural and should be expected.
Know that God is watching over you and won't give you more than you can handle.
Good luck

My first two are 20 months apart and I LOVE it. It was definitely difficult in the beginning because you're so tired with the new baby, but you want to spend time with your oldest too, etc, etc. Just figuring out a system takes a while, but as with your first, it gets easier as they grow more independent. You also have to learn not to panic when they both need you and just prioritize which need is greater. You just learn to take one step at a time. My two boys are now 32 months, and 12 months old and they are best friends. I am not exaggerating at all. They love eachother and always want to be in the same room, especially when they go to sleep. They play well 90% of the time. They are the cutest and it makes me really glad we had them close together, because they wouldn't get along so well if my oldest wasn't so little when the younger one got here. He literally doesn't remember a time when his brother wasn't part of the family. It was definitely hard in the beginning, but we managed, and in fact, got pregnant again ON PURPOSE when the new baby was only 3 1/2 months old. I'm due with our third in 2 weeks and I'm so excited. This will be our last. We really liked the age gap b/w the first two, so we wanted the last to be close to the older kids too so we just didn't try to prevent another pregnancy...

Also, I was a little depressed after #2 got here and resented the new baby a bit at first for all the time I wasn't able to spend with my older son. We also didn't bond instantly the way I did with my first. However, those feelings gradually went away over the course of a few weeks as we bonded and as I saw what a blessing the boys were to each other. Now I am really close with both my boys and couldn't be happier to be adding a girl to the mix!

Congrats...I feel like I'm reading my own story. Mine are 15 months apart and our 2nd was a Pleasant surprise!! (as I like to call it). I cried and was constantly worried but everything happens for a reason. It is now such a blessing to have two kids that close in age. Our daughter was 15 months when our son was born. We had lots of help from my MOm which was great. So if you have someone (family, friends, spouse/boyfriend) who can help with the older when you are tending to the newborn that will be huge. Just get into a routine yet be flexible. It will work out. I'd check out Happiest Toddler on the Block for learning how to speak to your toddler....sounds funny but it is a HUGE help b/c the terrible 2s dont' have to be that terrible if you learn to understand how your toddler works. We have very few meltdowns b/c we have learned how the toddler mind works. Also, Parenting with Love and Logic might help you. These are just some parenting strategies that might help put your mind at ease. As for being depressed talk to your OB but I'd try to stay off meds. Instead go see a therapist..talk therapy works wonders and they can help give you some techniques for when you feel overwhelmed by it all. IN the end you'll know it was meant to be that they are so close in age and it will fly by. I felt like you too and so do many other moms out there...so don't beat yourself up! you'll get thru it!!

My first two sons are 18 months apart. They are 13 and 11.5 now. They are close. The next son came when they were 5 and 3 1/2. So we have a full house of testosterone.
The older two are closer, but love their little brother also. You will do fine. Just remember what one does the other will do.
I think I said, "I just told your brother not to do that, why would you think you could do it?" more times than I could count. But they are great. My other problem is that the older two forget that the youngest is 8. I say all the time "well when you were 8 you did the same things to annoy ....." they forget because they were so close in age they did the same things their little brother does to annoy them, to each other, they just don't remember.
There were alot of diapers and clothes. But they are great.
Instead of thinking of all the bad things think of how they will learn to be close and have a brother to play with when you are tired and there are no friends around.
think of all the fun you will have.
as far as the depression goes, you definately need to talk to your doctor.
good luck,
L.