Siblings Need to Share a Room

Updated on March 10, 2008
T.D. asks from Hutto, TX
8 answers

We moved to a new home a year ago. Each of my children had their own room and we decorated their rooms the way they like them. We just had a new baby and have put the crib in the six year old's room. I would like to share a room with her older sister who is seven. They wear the same size clothes and share the same toys. Plus the room is larger. My six year old is messier and my seven year old is really neat. I was so excited for each to have their own room. There has been a little bit of jealousy since the new baby has come home. How do I make this transition as easy as possible without causing more jealousy of the baby? And how do I make my older girls feel special?

The baby will be moving to her crib from the bassinet in about a month. I am concerned the baby will wake up my six year old

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So What Happened?

I told my 6 year old that she was graduating from the baby room and into the big girl room. That she and her sister will each have their side to decorate. And promised Zac Efron posters for both. I took the girls out to get new clothes and they are doing a fashion show with pictures. I told them that these are things that big girls can do. Thank you all

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K.H.

answers from Austin on

I was so glad to hear what you did. Not only will everyone in the house get more sleep because the baby won't be waking anybody up, but you chose to do the most positive thing. Keep up the good mothering.

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C.M.

answers from Waco on

Hello T.,

It sounds like you really have your hands full.
There are a lot of things that can help the older girls feel special. YOU have to find out what they like and reward them and praise them for just the little things that they do.
NO, I don't have any degrees in Child raising just raised 4 children and have 6 grandsons all ages 8, 5, 3, 2, 17 months, and 6 months.
I have found with my little ones that the more they are involved with helping with the littler ones the more they feel important and special. Maybe the Baby's Bed could be put for a while in each of the girls room. This may help them to not be so jealous over the baby, if they were allowed to take turns helping you by letting the baby stay in each of the rooms maybe a week at a time. That way it would also give each of them a break. Maybe on the week that the baby was in the 7 year olds room the 6 year old could help you do other things for the baby. When the baby was in the 6 year old room may the 7 year old could help do other things for the baby to help. There is always, little clothes to fold up and put away. And the countless other things Mom has to do for a baby. YOU would be also teaching your Girls how to become good Moms in the process.
Do you mind if I pray for you, that God will give you the strength, wisdom and help you in making decissions that will help all concerned?
I can tell that you love your children very much and they are really blessed to have a great Mom like you.

Hope this may give you some ideas.
Rena

1 mom found this helpful
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J.R.

answers from Austin on

Like you, I have children both close together and of wide age range, and I have found it works much better for us to put those together who are farther apart in age, especially if there is a neat/messy split. The problems never end if one sibling is trying to keep the room neat and the other doesn't care. Also, if you ask the messy one whose mess that is, it is too easy for her to say "I didn't make it." And you can't prove one way or the other and even if you could who would want to try to get to the bottom of it constantly? And I don't feel right just automatically accusing one child and taking the word of the other. But if there is a wide age range, it is much more obvious whose mess is whose (different sized clothes, different types of toys), and as long as the younger doesn't have free reign to ruin the older's things, they seem to be much more tolerant of each other's messes.
I think it is wonderful that you want to make each of your children feel special. I recommend the book "The Five Love Languages for Children." Blessings!

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L.B.

answers from Sherman on

i think same sex should share rooms if possible but not boy/girl even though they are same ages...just an opinion, from a mom of four, but i have three boys and then the girl!

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L.D.

answers from Houston on

Always tell the girls how close they are and how lucky they are to have each other. Let them know they will always be best friends. Tell them this everyday. As far as the room sharing goes, it is what it is. Just tell them how nice it is to have someone to share a room with. Like mom and Dad.

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

Hi T.,

My three boys had to share one room when we downsized temporiarly to a smaller house when we were building...they weren't really crazy about it since each one of them had previously their own room...so I allowed them to come up together with their own decorating ideas...it was pretty crazy decorating scheme...but it made the living together bearable...plus I allowed them to paint the room themselves...which was a lot of fun for them.

To cut down on the jealously for the new baby...why don't you ask those who are sharing a room now if they would like to help decorate the new baby's room as a way of showing their joy at welcoming the new baby...let them come up with the ideas...remember you have the right to veto...if it's too crazy...but it might be amazing what kind of decorating scheme they come up with...and the peace you achieve in the long run might be worth more that any crazy color they pick out.

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K.P.

answers from Houston on

When we first moved into our 4 bedroom house 6 years ago, I found out I was pregnant the week after closing. I was planning to use the spare bedroom as an office. No such luck. At the time my two oldest a boy 5, and a girl 1, had their own rooms and I was going to keep it that way. Sacrifices have to be made and my newborn went into the 4th bedroom. It is not fair for the oldest to be kept awake during the night with changing diapers, feedings, etc.. Your six year old and seven should share a room. Again, sacrifices have to be made and a big family meeting should be called to help them understand the situation. I like the previous suggestion of letting the girls have a double theme room or letting them decorate their rooms. It would make them feel special. Also, at six, she should start being more responsible in cleaning her side of the room. It would teach her respect and sharing qualities that would help her develop into a empathic adult.

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G.M.

answers from San Antonio on

I would suggest that you put the six and seven in the same room. Decorate the room in a two persona theme, like Miley and Hanna...or take them to Bed Bath and Beyond or JCPenny and have them pick out comforters that coordinate.

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