Should I Wean My Son to Have a 2Nd Baby?

Updated on January 02, 2009
K.N. asks from Salt Lake City, UT
18 answers

I have a breast feeding and fertility type question. I have an almost 16 month old son and we now nurse 2 or 3 times per day. At this point, I have not gotten my period back since I was pregnant with him. It seems likely that I will have to wean him (which I am planning to do in the next few months or so anyhow) to have my period return and become fertile again. We do want to try for a 2nd baby within the next year. Has anyone else experienced this? Did a take awhile for your period to return post-baby? Did weaning your child help your period to return and become fertile again? How long post-weaning did your period return / fertility begin? I do not want to "rush" weaning, but I am nervous about my period and fertility returning and how long it may take to become pregnant again. I will be 35 in February...so time is ticking... also, I would like my kids 2.5 to 3 years apart!

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M.K.

answers from Provo on

I am no expert on the subject by any means,I am pregnant for the first time myself, but I do know that you can ovulate and not even know it when you are breastfeeding.

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P.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I nursed both my kids until around 30 months each. I beleive my periods retunred right around 19 months after birth, so still while nursing. I think it is a perfect form of birth control to space your kids where they need to be! Mine are almost 4 years apart and it has really been a blessing for us!

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N.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Talk to your doctor.

Splurge for a babysitter. Spend more time with your husband. Alone together. Something about having your baby around makes it a lot harder for your body to get pregnant again.

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M.H.

answers from Denver on

Everybody is so different with their fertility. Some women conceive quite early while breast feeding exclusively, and others can't seem to get pregnant unless they wean. Getting pregnant again is not a guarantee, and I would make sure your little one is really ready before you wean him. Don't sacrifice that special time with him just because you want another. Be patient and give it a few months, and wait until he is really ready.

At the same time, if you want to wean him, I would recommend doing it really gradually--one feeding at a time. You might find that your fertility returns as your cut down feedings as well.

Good Luck!

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

Although you can't plan on nursing as birth control, it does affect your fertility. Weaning might help you get pregnant sooner. I'd chat with my doctor first, since nursing is going so well, and see if there is something else you could try if you're not ready to wean. Plenty of women have gotten pregnant while nursing. I did once. GL! I hope you get your baby soon.

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B.W.

answers from Denver on

Babies are such miracles. My second daughter was 9 months old when I got pregnant with my son. I was nursing and on the minipill at the time, so my period had not returned either. When my daughter was about 13 months old, I threw up one day and I had that "feeling", had gained some weight (although I thought it was just holiday weight) took a test and it came back inconclusive. I went down to the health department (their tests are more accurate) and low and behold, my son was on his way. The ultrasound showed that I was 3 1/2 months along! I thought how good it was I was still taking my prenatal vitamins. One good thing is that I went through the whole first trimester with no sickness. We weaned our daughter a few months later because I was just too tired with being pregnant and chasing both an active 4 year old as well as a one year old. I didn't have a period until just recently (my son is now 16 months old too and still nursing, so I have some spotting here and there) pretty much since I got pregnant with my daughter and I was obviously still fertile. I wouldn't worry about it too much, but maybe try an ovulation test thing. Even with nursing though, your period can come back, especially if you cut back- that's why mine did- on it's own. Good luck!

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N.S.

answers from Denver on

Unfortunately there's probably not one correct answer when it comes to this topic.

There are women that don't get their periods until the wean and there are women, like myself, that get their periods while still exclusively breastfeeding. I got mine back when my daughter (who is now 2) was only 14 weeks old. I began charting and realized that I might not have ovulated those first few periods but then things became more regular as my daughter was eating solids and/or only feeding 1-2 times a day (at about 9 months). Luckily for us we got pregnant the month after we started trying for #2 (when my daughter was 11 months old). I breastfed my daughter until I was 25 weeks pregnant with my son (she was 16 months).

Things are a bit different now with my son (who is 6.5 months old). I just got my period back when he was 5 months old and have yet to see another one. In this instance it seems related to him sleeping through the night (which he doesn't do consistently). I plan on charting when I get my next period just to determine if I'm ovulating.

So, weaning might be your "golden ticket" to becoming fertile again or there could also be a possibility that you're fertile right now and you just don't know it. I would highly suggest that you try charting just to see where things are, it can be very reliable if you do it correctly.

A.G.

answers from Pocatello on

All women are different on when their periods return after a baby. I had a friend who didn't get hers back until 3 months after she stopped breast feeding but one it came back she got pregnant right away again. For me mine returned once i had weaned my daughter down to only one nurse a day. Then my husband and i started trying for baby #2 a few months after that and I got pregnant in the first month of trying. So I think you will most likely get your period back once you are done or almost done nursing and you should be able to get pregnant again no problem.

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K.B.

answers from Colorado Springs on

K.,

I nursed my daughter for 13 months and my husband wanted to have 2 children in one year! Ha! I figured out that I was one of those women who would not get pregnant while nursing. For me it was a VERY effective birth control! Once I weaned her, I was pregnant within 6 weeks. I had one period and then POW! Believe me, it was a bittersweet moment when I had my first period after weaning because I wanted to be pregnant immediately! I am a B. now and know that for some women, breastfeeding deters pregnancy and for others, it doesn't. It just a roulette game with that. Just take a deep breath and trust that all will be well and that every child is born when they are supposed to be!

-K. Littau, SerendipityBirthDoula.com

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S.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Congratulations on your wonderful nursing relationship!
I do volunteer work with La Leche League, an international nonprofit group dedicated to helping moms get accurte breastfeeding information. I know many moms who tandem nurse, that it, they nurse siblings who are not twins. It is entirely possible to become pregnant while nursing and even continue to breastfeed both babies after the newborn arrives. A great book about this topic is "Adventures in Tandem Nursing." I'm not necessarily suggestiong you do this unless you want to, I'm just pointing out that it's a very healthy possibility.
I suggest you get in touch with your local LLL Leader and ask about an article in the most recent issue of "New Beginnings," which is LLL's magazine for members. It specifically addressed your question about fertility and offered some concrete information and strategies. You may also be interested in the books "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler," both available to borrow for free from your local LLL group. The Salt Lake area has a couple of excellent and experienced Leaders who will be glad to help you; all LLL services, including phone help, is totally free.
If your baby is older than six months old and is receiving food other than your milk, then lactation can no longer be depended on to keep you infertile. . . a pregnancy is a possibility. It is possible to ovulate without having had a period, so it's not certain (given what *I* know of your situation) that you could not become pregnant. That said, the average delay of ovulation caused by breastfeeding (lactational amenorhhea) is 14 months.
I highly recommend you call your local LLL Leader with this question and/or attend a La Leche League meeting and ask this question to the group of moms. Many of them will have experience both nursing and weaning a toddler and preparing for a subsequent baby and dealing with fertility issues related to lactation.
I think you are so wise not to rush the weaning process. You will never regret it! Even if you are slightly above the average in the length of time your ovulation is supressed by lactation (and you may not be), you are within a few months at most of full fertility returning. So I don't think you need to feel anxious or panicked about babies being too far apart unless you want to ;).
Personally, my first two children are just over three years apart and my first was weaned before I became pregnant. My second and third are not quite three years apart and the second was still nursing when I became pregnant. I did not have a period until #2 was almost 20 months old (although I was trying to avoid a pregnancy then, so I can't say how fertile I was) but it did not take long (a couple of months) to become pregnant when I wanted to be. It's been pretty nice child spacing for my family.
Best wishes on your mothering journey!

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S.B.

answers from Boise on

Its an old wives tail that your not fertile while you nurse. I have several friends that got pregnant while nursing.
I nursed my son for 10 months and after I stopped and dried up I received my period within two weeks. Everyone is different though. Good luck

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C.E.

answers from Provo on

everyone is different about when their periods return. in my case, weaning did help fertility. i became pregnant with my second baby as soon as i started weaning my first. i think maybe the pregnancy hormone change affected the taste of the milk as well because my son began nursing for only a couple minutes, then looking strangely at my breast and stopping feeding. he was still hungry and there was still milk in me, but he just didn't like it anymore. with my second baby, my period returned two months after weaning completely.

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J.W.

answers from Pueblo on

I wanted to be pregnant right away after having my first child. My period came back when she was about 6 months old, and we started trying when she was 10 months old. It took 3 months. My milk supply dwindled when I was about 6 months pregnant, but my daughter did not wean until I was 8 months.

My son is now 12 months, and I have yet to get my period back. He still nurses a lot, though.

Can you ask your doctor about a hormone birth control pill to make you get your period back? Then you can continue to nurse while pregnant.

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L.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter is a year old, and I haven't gotten my period back. My sister was in your situation when her son was 2 years old. She did get her period back soon after weaning at 27-28 months. Then she got pregnant before the next period.

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C.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

K.,
All I can tell you is that I got pregnant with my second while still nursing.
With my whole heart, C.

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

You are fertile now...most likely. Case in point, I was nursing and conceived when my daughter was 6 months old. I weaned her at 9 months because I was pregnant. So start trying now if you want to have some fun...and maye weaning by 18 months is a good idea.

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A.V.

answers from Great Falls on

With both of my kids, my period returned almost exactly one month after weaning them. I weaned, ovulated two weeks later, and menstruated two weeks after that. Clockwork!

Good luck!

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I.C.

answers from Denver on

My son is currently 22 months old and I'm still nursing. I wondered about my period returning and it finally did when he was 19 months old. Did you have problems in the past with irregular periods? If you did, you might think about talking to a doctor about getting your period back on track. Otherwise, just let it come back on its own. You do not need to wean in order for your period to return. Some women get their period at 6 weeks postpartum!

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