Separation Anxiety - Cincinnati, OH

Try not holding her as much. Also try getting baby socialized to other kids, adults, babysitter, etc. Part of this is a lack of socialization and independence. She needs to feel safe on her own, so perhaps looking into building playmates and playing alone skills.

Hi C.!
My daughter is going to be 8 months next week and she has gone through this very same thing since 6 months. Many of the responses talked about you leaving the house, etc. Our problem was so bad that if I set her down on the floor, she would scream! I couldn't even go to the restroom! As soon as I got back and picked her up, she would also smile at me. :) It became very frustrating at first, but I had to realize that it was only a phase and that it did not do either one of us any good if I was frustrated with her. I tried different things such as putting her exersaucer in the kitchen while I did dishes or cooked. She would still cry sometimes, but I would let her for about 5 min. at a time then pick her up and cuddle for awhile. I would also try playing with her on the ground and getting her distracted for awhile before you walk away. I always talked to her if I left the room. I wish I could say that this all magically helped, but we are still struggling with it a little. She was doing a lot better until she got an ear infection then it started all over again. Enjoy your cuddle time with her and just keep reminding yourself that it won't last forever. Pray helps a lot too! Good luck!

My 10 month old granddaughter has been exactly the same way and is still.....so I would say just keep letting others hold her as much as you can stand it.
I am babysitting her tomorrow and really don't look forward to all the screaming and am just waiting for the day when she gets over it.
One thing we do is to try to only give her back to Mom if she has a momentary lull in her screaming and crying, so as not to seem to reward the screaming.
I do not recall any of my 6 children having such a long period of separation anxiety.
So good luck with your situation.

My 16 month old still gets this way occaissionally. I'm a working mom and she is fine all day with the sitter, but when I come home in the evening, she wants to be glued to my hip sometimes. I love to be with her, but dinner must happen. Daddy and Elmo usually don't cut it for this, so my choices are to carry her or listen to her scream. She's only going to be a baby once. I have a sling that she sits in. If I'm cooking over the stove or using a knife, I put her on my back. When she sees me get out her sling she'll stop crying. She just wants the love.

Hi C.,

Neither of my children have been very needy but I have a friend who's son was. So much that she couldn't separate from him even to go to the bathroom at a playdate. She would leave him at the child watch at the Y and they'd come get her out of class bc he would not stop crying....

The only thing I can tell you is that now that he's 2, he has gotten much better. It was really hard for her but she did start leaving him with daddy to go grocery shopping - should mention th first few times the husband called her asking how much longer cos he wouldn't let up. :)
But it has really worked, she continued taking him to the childwatch even if they pulled her out of class... and now she can leave him - not sure if he cries at all anymore.

I could only suggest that you separte yourself from her a bit, leaving her with a safe person - daddy, grandma.... so she begins to learn you are coming back, she is safe without you.... I did this with both of my kids from the beggining, not very often but I can tell you they are not so clingy that its hurting them - sounds like the lack of trust of others in your daughter is hurting her so it is to her benefit to learn that others love her and she is safe ;)

I hate to be a mean, ugly, grouch, but it is time to toughen up. You are just going to have to put her down and walk away. Start lightly, 3 to 5 minutes at a stretch. When you hand her to daddy, leave the room.
I had one that started that game and found out later that if I would leave the house within a minute of me leaving they stopped crying.
P. R

seperation anxiety is a perfectly normal and healthy stage of development. it is not a habit that needs to be broken. if you must leave her than reassure her verbally that everything is o.k. this stage will eventually pass. the more secure she is with you as you continue to respond to her cries the more independent and less clingy she will become. if you ignore her cries and pass her off as others suggested you could make her more clingy and dependent in the long run. do you have a sling or other type of baby carrier? i wear my daughter around the house and it makes it much easier to get things
done. this stage will pass and you will eventually miss her need for cuddles. hang in there!

Edited because I can not believe some of the absurd responses. How can you say that a 7.5 month old baby is being manipulative. She smiles because she is happy to be back in mommy's arms. Is there really something wrong with that? Be tough, let her scream and cry? Are you kidding me?! I can't even believe that you could think it is o.k to treat your little one like that. They need reassurance that mommy will be there for them. This stage will eventually pass. I suggest reading any books by Dr. Sear's or check out his website (or any of the hundred's of studies that have been done on seperation anxiety).

Let her scream & cry. At some point, she'll stop. You're NOT being mean by letting her cry. What she's doing........It's call MANIPULATION! Why do you think she smiles at dad?? She knows exactly what she's doing. If she cries enough, she'll get what she wants. There are TOO many kids like that out there already!!! She needs to learn to be patient and enjoy her time w/ Daddy. She & Daddy need something to occupy their time, too, whether that be manipulation toys, reading, etc....rather than just holding her....hopefully, away from where you are. Use a baby monitor if you want so she can hear your voice if need be. If that makes it worse, lose that idea. Worth a try though.

Seperation anxiety is something all kids go through. Just start small. Play with her on the floor and slowly move away. When you're in another room, don't stop talking to her. Assure her that she's ok and mommy will be right back. Picking her up is ok, sometimes, but if you do it all the time, she'll never get over her anxiety. I have a neice that's 2 and can hardly be left alone while Mom uses the restroom. It's stressful on the entire family. If you can, break the habit now so it doesn't get worse with age. That said, there are times when a little girl just wants her mommy :) Hopefully this stage will pass soon! :D

I had that trouble when I had to go back to work after my divorce when my daughter was only 2. My parents watched her for me while I worked and she did the same thing. It about tore my heart out to hear her scream and cry, but I knew I had to be strong and go to work. She eventually got to the point that she was old enough to go with my Dad when he went to check on a job and she actually looked forward to it. Dad enjoyed it and so did she. She was about 4 when she started going with him certain times. Don't hae a lot to tell you about one under a year, but hang in there. I'll pray for you for a solution. It will hurt you as much as her, but sometimes you have to get away for awhile. Start small, like a short trip to the store without her.

when you give your daughter to her father make sure that he does something to distract her so you can leave the house, yes she will cry for a few min but should settle down. if you are by yourself and say if you have to go to the bathroom put her down let her cry and when you are done go right to her and let her know that you were there the whole time and she doesn't have to worry. had that same problem with my first. and you need to leave the house more often to help her get over the seperation anxiety.

This is something that most kids go through. All the other moms had the same advice....give her a kiss goodbye, let her know you'll be back and leave the room/house w/o hesitation. Then come back a short time later. This way she'll realize that when you leave you really will come back! She just has to learn this so she can feel safe. Now, with that said, it is not easy. When I'd do this I'd get into my car and cry b/c I felt so bad!

C.,
This sounds more like a game than separation anxiety. She has learned that when she says "jump", you will ask "how high?". There is absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to have a little time to yourself, and you should not feel guilt or shame in saying so. My advice is to leave her with Daddy for a short time while you actually leave the house. Make the break as quick as possible, and I do mean quick, and see what happens. Usually, babies cry at first, but within minutes they are just fine and happy to be with Daddy or Grandma, etc. Whoever you leave her with needs to distract her right away and get her involved in an activity that she enjoys so that she sees that Mommy being gone for a little while isn't all that bad. Good luck, C., you can do this and everyone will be happier for it!