Screaming/yelling 14 Month Old

Wow... it seems like you were describing my son. He's 14 months, not walking yet... he does babble but not many real words if any at all. And boy does he yell/scream. Sometimes it seems like he is frustrated, like when he drops a toy he can't reach, sometimes I think it's for attention, and sometimes I think he just likes to hear himself yell. I've started introducing the phrase "inside voice", tho he really doesn't understand what that means. After I say this, I whisper to him and sometimes he'll "whisper" back. But, 9 times out of 10... a couple minutes later he's back to his loud voice. So I guess I'm not really giving you any advice, more sympathy than anything, because my husband and I are going through the same thing. Maybe it's just a 14 month old phase.

dear mama bear A.,

sometimes a child will get very frustrated when all they hear is NO. they take it as rejection and in no time at all, just feel lousy that they can't seem to make mom happy.

Here's the solution: when you say NO say Yes to something else. If you take a dangerous thing out of his hands, put something safe in it. if he is acting a particular way, tell him how he should act. this will teach him how to make wonderful decisions throughout his life down the road and the world won't seem so negative to him.

He is normal and so are you. Just time to go to another level together and find love and happiness at the end of the rainbow.

Have a great life together,
L.

He is just exploring his vocal range. Play games with him that teach him loud and soft (or indoor voice & outdoor voice). It will take sometime but he'll get the idea of when it's okay to yell and when it's not.

Maybe call Birth to Three (It may be infants and toddlers in your area). Doctors guidelines are very general. They will have specifics and can offer assistance free of charge in your home if it's required.

Does he point to things? Does he respond to you when he has his back to you? Just to be on the safe side, I would call Infants and Toddlers. Since they are developmental specialists, they may have a lot of suggestions on what to do about the screaming. Is it just screaming or mainly tantrums?

Here is a link about abnormal tantrums (not that this is in any way what's going on):

http://www.kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=KidsHealth&a...

My oldest had the worst tantrums and constant screaming. We did not think it was normal, but since we only had one child, mainly we were mainly told we didn't know what we were talking about. It took three very long years to finally convince our health care professionals something was seriously wrong. Now I am a huge advocate of early intervension. If you think there is the slightest chance your ds might have a developmental delay, I would call Infants and Toddlers. Why not? It's free and they will work around your schedule.

What I am saying is, it won't hurt anything and they might be able to help you quite a lot.

Hi. My son, 17 mos, screams all the time and he has for quite some time. Let him scream if he's like my son he finds it fun. Some children are just like that. If you try to stop him he will probably do it more b/c of your reaction. Now in public I try to control it when we're at a resturant, any other time I don't. We ( society) need to let kids be kids. If we did maybe we wouldn't have so many adults acting like selfish babies! I feel like this as long as it isn't in a movie theater,or somewhere that silence is expected, let him have at it. My son is learning when he can and can't scream, Yours will too. Good Luck

Hi A.,

There is a parenting group for SAHM's.

SAHM.meetup.com/

The Norfolk Attachment Parenting Group may be helpful and any other ones listed that you may choose.

There is also a child Development Specialist that may help too. Dr. Katharine Leslie at ____@____.com

Hope this helps. Good luck. D.

So, this may not be music to your ears, but my son went through this and during that time we had a regularly scheduled dr.s appt where my pediatrician said it was completely normal and that yes, he just like to hear himself. Try not to respond to it too much because that will enforce the behavior, to them attention is attention whether positive or negative. I simply tried ignoring it as much as possible, especially at home and it went away. When I went in public I tried to bring things to other wise to keep him occupied, fruit, other snacks, sippy cup and I started a game with him at home where we had to be really quiet and listen, then I would tap on the floor or somewhere that I could reach that he wasn't looking and tell him it was a lion and we had to be really quiet and see if we could find it. Then we would look around, fun game at home, but then in the grocery store, while he was in the cart I would do the same thing (if he was screaming) and we would look behind items that I was getting at the store to see if we could find the lion, it worked for a while without directly responding to the the yelling. Don't worry too much, it passes semi-quickly (not quick enough when you're listening to it, but it will pass). Good luck and try to stay calm, it's hard, I know!! :-)

Boys are so much fun! My son still does this @ 2 1/2 - he especially likes it in the Mall where the tile is echoey - and take him in the family changing room and it REALLY sounds loud. I just holler with him sometimes. The noise in many public places is such that it just becomes part of the background. At 8 to 10 months I noticed that my son understood pretty much everything we were saying - eventhough he couldn't talk. I started then - I get right to his eye level and talk gently and tell him what I need from him. When we are at home I play games to allow him the yelling and roughhousing behaviors and then we play opposites; Yell/Whisper - Go/Stop etc. Once he knows both sides I tell him the part of the game we need to play when we're out somewhere. If he starts to yell in a restaurant - I say lets see how quiet we can be - whisper. Now that's he's past 2 he understands things like - you don't yell in restaurants. And when we leave the house I remind him how he is to behave when we are in public. It's working pretty well. And your suspision is right - they LOVE to hear their voice.

Loving to try out his boice - that's all! We had the same problem. We made a big deal out of inside voice and outside voice, by going outside and yelling, going back inside and being quiet, and then going out and yelling again. Then all I had to do is remind mine to use her inside voice.

Have you had his hearing checked?

Assuming his hearing is fine, I'd say its time to start teaching him about indoor and outdoor voices. I think little ones just like to scream. My 2 1/2 yo daughter LOVES to scream the second we step outside. I just let her and sometimes wait until she finishes before I take her inside. Sort of like letting her splash in rain puddles when she has her rain gear on.

Once we come in I remind her that we scream outside, not inside.

One last thing, do you and/or anyone else in your home yell? Children model the behavior they see. My daughter has picked up an imitation of a gross thing she's seen me do b/c I had a cold all winter. Its quite embarrassing, but she's just copying me. (I'm very discreet about it though!).

If you say that he is not doing it for attention, then I would say that he is doing it because he can. That is an age of discovery, and it sounds like he is discovering his voice, and it is really cool to him that he can make noises that loud. He is too little to understand indoor and outdoor voices, but that doesn't mean he is too little for you to start teaching him. It will take time and patience, but if he truely is not seeking attention, which he may not be, then there is not much you can do about it right now, so try to turn it into a game, since that is what it is to him. The whispering thing works great, but just try to be creative on different things to do to get him to be quiet at appropriate times.

Has he had a problem with ear infections? In other words, maybe he is yelling because he is not hearing well. It might be worth a trip to the dr. to rule out fluid in his ears. Or it could be that he is a boy being a boy. They are often loud just for fun.

Hello A.,
This happened to my daughter as well. She is now 3 1/2. But when whe was your son's age, I couldn't take her anywhere. Restaurants were near impossible. I see other children this age screaming alot as well. My theory is that this happens right before they talk and are able to express their ideas. But right now, it's just screaming. Hang in there, it will pass in a few months!

try giving him a place where he can sit and scream.

is your house noisy or does he go to a noisy place.

have you had his ears checked

just a few ideas.

babies lke to scream and make noise. mine went through a phase just rcently where she found her voice. it was annoying at times, but not something to punish for. They are not old enough to understand what they are doing wrong. jut have fun with it. i would scream with her. out in public just smile. babies make noise. it's nothing to be embarrassed about. eventually they will stop and start talking

Hello, well I have had a little bit of experience with the screaming and yelling. And I think you are right, it is just cause he likes the way it sounds (most of the time). And I think this is sort of cute! He is showing a bit of his personality and character. :>) I agree, you don't want him to think he is doing something wrong, because if he isn't angry or doing it for attention, then he is just expressing himself. Some little boys are more sensitive. And if when you tell him "no", he cries, well then may be try saying "shhhhh" or you start saying things real quietly like it is a game. Or may be get down on his level and say " silly boy, why are you being so loud" :>)! I know you'll come up with what to say, these are just suggestions. But I am just saying that instead of getting upset, just try and talk to him, they understand WAY more than we think. And if every time he starts yelling, you go right into the "shhhhhhh" quiet talk and may be he'll put two and two together. I don't know, I guess my advice is sort of direct, but I know that most of the time with my kids (before they were old enough for spanking because of disobedience) all I have had to do is talk to them in a manner in which they respond, and whatever problem there is at the time seems to diminish. He is still so young and going to go through the most silly and stressful phases at times. But I say try to enjoy even the hard times, your kids will grow up faster than you will ever believe, and if you have taken the time to enjoy them, it won't feel so sad. God Bless!

That is absolutely normal for that age. You could try teaching him to use and inside voice and an outside voice, and giving him an opportunity to go out and use his outside voice every day. It'll take some time though. You may just want to let some of it go (like let it go at home, but ask him to use his inside voice when you're out somewhere). He'll grow out of it.
My son was sensitive too, still is. It worked better with him to ask him to use his inside voice rather than to tell him No. That way I let him know what behavior I wanted and he didn't feel like he was in trouble. I also felt better since I wasn't reprimanding him constantly for doing something that all kids do at that age.

My son thurned 15 mo. yesterday and does the same thing. We have a lil girl coming at the end of MAy. We are nuts!!!LOL
I really think they are just trying to hear themselves and realize that there voice can change sounds. Try and pay attention to what your doing or what he's doing at the time he yealls. Maybe it's attentions but I doubt it. My son loves music and loves to be sung to. SOmetimes I think he's trying to sing or he wants me too b/c he'll stop almost everytime.
Good Luck with your babies. Know what #2 is?
Beth

It would seem to me that if they *honestly* cry when you say 'no' he may be trying to communicate something and feeling incapable.

I suggest teaching a non-talker basic sign language. They tend to grasp signs far faster than their tongue forms the words. There are good books out there that you can get for 'Baby Signing'. Signs like change (for diaper or soiled clothes), eat, more, drink, milk, all done/gone are a great place to start. I found that we nipped the whining and crying in the bud when we could say "I don't understand your cry. Use your words, please. What do you want?" and they know that they can communicate their need. It does NOT slow down verbal development - especially if you say the words as you sign them and back up their signs, "Oh, you want milk. Ok. Mommy will get you some milk." as your getting the milk as well as (as my 16 mo old will do the milk sign *while she's drinking milk*), "Yes. Milk. You're drinking milk. That's right. Is that good milk?" This technique has been a great help with my two younger children (now 16 mo. and an academically advanced 11 yr old) and I plan on using it with the baby I am expecting in June.

Have his hearing checked! If there is no problem start practicing inside outside voice.

I am watching a one year old that is doing a lot of squelling and screaming. She has picked it up from the noise of the older children. Sometimes she needs something, but most times it is for fun. I try just to talk to her in a calm normal voice, and not make a big deal of it.
Example, earlier today I was changing her when she started squelling, so I just started talking to her. I said "____ are you tired, it is almost time for nap. Are you ready for night night?" Then she got really interested in what I was saying and started repeating me. "Night Night" she said.
He probably just likes the sound. Distraction can be a mom's best friend. Good Luck

hey A.,
first things first...he's a baby/toddler...their very nature is to get what they want by any means necessary.

what your child does need is consistency, discipline and structure. this will require you to allow him to be upset. nobody likes to be told no.

the hardest part is being consistent. i too struggle with this as parent of a very strong willed 2 1/2 year old boy.

he has lots of tantrums when i tell him no. he does get time out and priviledges taken away. however, he's learning that when mommy says no ...it means no.

of course, my husband doesn't have these issues. it could me the "deep daddy voice."

hang in there. we're all learning together.
mzbmore

You already got some really good advise on this. I was just going to put my two cents in and say that my oldest child loved to hear herself squeal for fun, but since I knew that my nerves wouldn't be able to handle it all the time, I tried immediately to correct it. I started out too negative with her, I feel. Eventually, I figured out she responded better if I told her happily and with a smile on my face the appropriate way to express that. Voice control games are a huge help. This made being quiet more fun. When I knew she "got it", the volume control thing, that is, I made a rule that we don't squeal in the car. That's too small an area, and I have sensitive ears. All I had to do was tell her "Remember, quietly (I whispered it to her) while in the car." Then I'd put my finger up to my lips and exaggerate the "shh". I think she quit squealing by the time she was 2. She still talks loudler and louder when she's excited, though, (just her personality) so even at age 12, we still have to work on it.
My second child screamed this high-pitch squeal when he was excited. Only when he was excited. He is my most compliant child, loves to please, so he wasn't trying to do anything wrong. Again, I had to approach it from the positive angle, and model some appropriate ways to show excitement. I'd smile really big and say, "Yeah" (quietly) and clap, or I'd dance side to side while pumping my arm in the air. The key for him not to feel like he was being corrected was to ask him to be quieter in a happy, positive way.
And a lot of these people are probably right that if you did nothing, it would quit on its own. Or if his ears need to be checked, well, hadn't thought of that one before reading that, but never a bad idea.
Have fun!

Kids don't come with volume control. :) Play games to teach him what an indoor voice is. Maybe sing John Jacob Jinglehighmerschmidt (when you start singing loud and get quiter each verse). When you talk to him try talking even more softer than normal - it's amazing how this will work over shouting all the time (not that I don't shout sometimes :) ). Maybe even teach him to whisper in your ear certain things or just for fun. Let him know when he can be loud - maybe run outside on the swingset and yell the whole way to the swing set. Make it fun and he'll learn the rules. I also prep my kids before going places and remind them to use their indoor voices (as well as please and thank you and to pick up whatever toys they take out). Although the last idea is a bit hard for a 14 m.o.

That said, you do have to teach him some degree of volume control. The rest of the world isn't as patient as us moms are. But this phase will pass.

I have a 6 y.o., 4 y.o. and 11 m.o. I still have to remind the older ones to use their indoor voices on a DAILY if not HOURLY basis. They're good kids. They just get excited.

PS - You may also want to mention this to your pediatrician. My mother has always been very loud and it's because she had significant hearing loss as a child and can't hear herself talk unless she's loud. She sometimes doesn't remember this and I have to gently remind her.

PPS - my daughter didn't walk until she was about 14 mo. and my middle son didn't talk until he was around 14 mo. My baby is 11 mo. and isn't walking or talking.

Hi, I can understand what you're going through. Here's what I feel is going on with your little guy. He's just making a splash. Boys especially are attention hounds and also fascinated by all the wonderful varied sounds they are able to produce (wait until he discovers war noises, and he will, they all do :).

About what to do, I would say you are on the right track. You have to begin at this age with letting them know what behavior is appropriate and what is not. Tears can be hard to watch, but you have to tough it out. And they understand more than they let on. With my oldest son, my trick was to start with a firm "no" then get down on his level and get his attention as soon as the water works started. I would then talk to him in a serious tone (like I was treating him like a big boy) and explain in terms he could understand just why that behavior was inappropriate. I then would make it his big-helper job to act correctly until we got home then he would get a treat. The key here is to ONLY reward compliance with your terms. If I just couldn't get him to behave he and I would sit in the car until my husband was finished shopping etc. or if we were home he would spend a little time out in his crib. After a few of these episodes and sticking to my guns on inside voice vs. outside voice he started to get the picture. It works like a charm. (Little boys hate to be cooped up and will do almost anything to be allowed to be in the thick of the action, even follow orders believe it or not.) :)

Just hang in there, communication with your son will improve drastically over the next few months and getting your point across will get easier.

Check to make sure he doesn't have any hearing/ear infection issues. Our son did the same thing but also had trouble hearing us. Come to find out it was an ear infection with no fever and it didn't seem to bother him. After a week of antibiotics he was back to normal.