School Principal Behavior...

Updated on May 17, 2011
J.A. asks from Bethesda, MD
10 answers

Hello all of you! This is something that has been bothering me for a while and I don't know how to approach or what to do. Please Help!
My daughter goes to a very, very small private school. She's in 7th grade and one of 5 girls in a classroom of 13 kids. Same with 6th and 8th grades... The problem I found, in such a small "great christian community" they brag and call themselves, is that I feel that it's unsuitable for a principal to feel that she could use the "F" word whenever the soccer team, the basket ball or the tennis team is loosing, in front of her staff or parents (who most happen to be her staff) I did hear about this before when a mom went to the office and heard one of the other moms who also work in the office and whose children attend the school also being very comfortable using this word in front of the others. It didn't click to me until I head her myself. She said it like if I was her best body and I didn't mind...
Do you think it's me the one with the problem or is it that I've the right to feel uneasy about this situation. Not only I and a lot of parents have issues in how she handle kids problems at school and with this I feel it's a little disturbing.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for the quick responses to my question. Even though I know it's not appropriate behavior It makes me feel that l can't say anything anyway because as you read in my post, that's the way the staff gets along (except for a few who are very respectable people), and when I say the staff, I mean teachers and administrators who happen to have their children going to this school too. For some reason I see that their kids have also feelings of ownership and entitlement b/c their moms work there. I guess it's call the faculty children syndrome... but I think the best way to go is to change schools. This is a group of people who know each other very well and therefore they will support each other in any way they can b/c they all are in the same boat... If I say something about these staff/parents their kids will find out (b/c that's another thing. I don't think they know about privacy and confidentiality. They all know everything.... ) And if their kids find out, my daughter will pay the consequences..... I guess private schools are a new culture, where what it matters is how they get money, fundraisings and all the social events that "that" brings with it. I'm so done with it.
Thank you all!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.F.

answers from Fargo on

Talk to the superintendent. Her choice of words is unacceptable, not to mention discouraging to the sports teams if she is getting that angry when they are losing!
This woman is giving a black eye to the education system. She can use any type of vernacular in her home and in personal situations, but she has a professional standard to uphold.

Using foul language, in my opinion, shows a lack of education or discipline. We have thousands upon thousands of words at our disposal and the best that people can come up with are sh** and F***? Good grief, and some of them are in a position to educate our kids!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Redding on

All I can say is WOW.

I can't believe she says it and I can't believe you are questioning if YOU are the one with the problem for not liking it.

The F word at school...any school, is not appropriate.
Let's not be naive, kids hear that word, but it shouldn't be flying out of the principal's mouth at school.
Surely there is someone in a position above her that needs to be aware of this.
I would have a video camera at the next sporting event so you have proof.

1 mom found this helpful

D.R.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Even if this was a public school it is inappropriate. I think the operative word here is duhhh!!! NOT to disrespect the question but you spend a lot of time validating your reasons for questioning this. I think Christian or not, (and I am a believer) you are right on in your concerns.Sounds like you have a Principal without principles! WHO does the hiring at your school?

I am not sure why you are the first one stepping out in the arena about this issue. Perhaps it is like the fable, The Emporer Who Had No Clothes.... the tailors showed him this golden thread telling him only the wisest people could see it. Handed him the finished garment to put on (of course he couldn't see it because they were what we call now, scamming him) and since he wanted to look very wise, paraded around totally naked... while his flock eeeewed and ahhhed over his fine garments (which were NOT there!) Until a young lad asked, "Why is he walking around naked?"
When everyone turns a blind eye to a very obvious issue.... it is no better. Your Principal my dear is parading around naked (metaphoricaly speaking) and everyone but you is acting like it's okay.
Kudos for you for calling her out!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

This is a christian private school and the principal is using the F word??? wow, that is complete unacceptable---what a way to be an example for the kids! I am sure you are not the only one that has a problem with this---I would go to the person above the principal to complain and document everything. I would keep a close eye on this person and if you happen to talk with other parents and they have heard it too, maybe you will have more people backing you. But either way, this is wrong and she knows it! Make her be accoutable. GL!

M

1 mom found this helpful

G.M.

answers from Phoenix on

VERY UNprofessional indeed! I would take your concerns to the School Board immediately. They should be an example to those kids at the school, and they are completely the opposite. If the school board doesn't comply and fix the problem, then I would go to the State Board of Education and file a formal complaint with them. Then, if nothing is done, I would go straight to the Mayor. That has to stop immediately. That is very unprofessional. I would throw a huge fit if I caught my sons school doing that. I hope you get this resolved. Try getting those other moms who you've heard this from as well, to write an affidavit about what they have heard and take it with you when you make your complaint. Also, if you can, have those other moms just go with you. If no one that I mentioned rectifies this, then go straight to the media with this. I bet they do something then. :-D

1 mom found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

That word does not need to be used in the public presence of schoolchildren, no matter what sort of philosophy or religion the school. It's simply unprofessional and inappropriate. As a preschool teacher, there's actually a little "no swearing" switch that seems to flick on in my brain around kids. This doesn't mean that an occasional "sh*t" doesn't slip out at home during family time, but I do correct myself, apologize to my son, and try to model better ways of expression around him.

Having to hear swearing during a soccer game? Sounds like she has some anger/emotional management issues. Kids of any age shouldn't be sworn at for losing a game. I'm sure that improves morale. The fact that she isn't curbing her language at school and feels comfortable dropping the F-bomb in a professional capacity is worrisome and should be addressed. For everyone's sake. Maybe it's time for the parents to start talking with each other and finding resources to address this, or maybe it's time to move to a new school if the principal isn't censured or removed. (Does the principal 'run' the school or have some sort of ownership/investment in it? Just wondering...)

And if you feel there are problems with 'how' she is handling the children, that is a bigger issue. You might give your local school board an anonymous call to see what sort of regulations/options/standard guidelines there are for this. Sometimes, schools do better when these issues are addressed to the board. I hope your daughter's school has more oversight than just this principal.

1 mom found this helpful

D.R.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Even if this was a public school it is inappropriate. I think the operative word here is duhhh!!! NOT to disrespect the question but you spend a lot of time validating your reasons for questioning this. I think Christian or not, (and I am a believer) you are right to have concerns.Sounds like you have a Principal without principles! WHO does the hiring at your school?

I am not sure why you are the first one stepping out in the arena about this issue. Perhaps it is like the fable, The Emporer Who Had No Clothes.... the tailors showed him this golden thread telling him only the wisest people could see it. Handed him the finished garment to put on (of course he couldn't see it because they were what we call now, scamming him) and since he wanted to look very wise, paraded around totally naked... while his flock eeeewed and ahhhed over his fine garments (which were NOT there!) Until a young lad asked, "Why is he walking around naked?"
When everyone turns a blind eye to a very obvious issue.... it is no better. Your Principal my dear is parading around naked (metaphoricaly speaking) and everyone but you is acting like it's okay.
Kudos for you for calling her out!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Wow - terrible example for the kids!!!!! Disrespectful and totally unprofessional.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I think that if someone cannot get their emotion or point across without using a curse that it comes across as being unintelligent. If I were getting a tour of the school and she said this in my presence I would be totally turned off. I agree that it's VERY unprofessional.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

it's disgusting, inappropriate, unprofessional-

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