School Behavior.

I would meet with the teacher and see how much seat work they are doing. Most five year old children especially boys can not sit for long periods of time. I own a preschool with a kindergarten program and the children change activities every 30 minutes. When they finish their work they are permitted to get a book or puzzle until their friends finish their work. Is he finishing his seat work first, maybe he is not challenged enough. When a child finishes early and the other children are not finished why can't she allow him to get a puzzle or a book to occupy him while the others are finished. Children who are bored can tend to be disruptive, so I would also ask if she could give him additional coloring work, or cutting work, to keep him busy and seated.

Is his kindergarten teacher a first year teacher???? How long is she expecting a 5 year old to stay seated??? Does he have the option to stand by his chair yet he is wandering the room, or is she literally expectiing a 5 year old boy to sit his bottom in his chair and keep it there?? Sitting in a chair at home is so much different as there are not as many distractions as there are at school................Now to answer your question.... I think it's wonderful that you are being such a supportive parent and wanting to be involved with his school activities... but ultimately this is the teacher's responsibility to reward and give consequences for the behaviors she expects out of her students.

Is there any chance that he is bored at school? I ask because you say he is able to do all the work even though the teacher feels he is not listening.
I used to teach gifted and talented and this was a common problem for my kids. If they weren't beng challenged, they turned the classroom into "social hour." If this is the problem, it could be fixed simply by giving him some more challenging work.
Have you met with his teacher and gotten her take on it?
Maybe bring in some of the work he does at home to show her.
My opinion is there should not be much "sitting" happening in Kindergarten anyway. If the amoutn of sitting seems reasonable and it is still a problem, maybe she could work out a secret handsignal with him to remind him or some sort of incentive plan.
He might also be a kinestetic learner (someone who learns by moving & doing). Sitting still can be counterproductive to these kids. Can he be moved to a place where he can fidget or even stand without disrupting others?
I think the first step is to get more information about what is really happening and work together on a solution. It always works best if parent, teacher, & child are all the same page!
Good luck!

Well T., I have a son who likes to chat and do what he wants at times also. He has had to learn the hard way. His teachers are aware from day one that he is a chatter, but they just get right to discipline. Whatever their classroom rules are, they stick by them. My son has been sent to the principal once or twice for not listening in class. He definitely does not like to go in there, since he knows I will be contacted immediately (I work at his school). Teachers are in charge of their classrooms and they have to make the rules for the consequences. Work with the teacher. Sticker charts work, rewards for working a certain length of time. On another note though he is only in kingergarten. This is where he will learn classroom behavior and he will be ready for 1st grade. He is just young and it will take time in training and learning.

I know what you can do! Kiss him and thank him for being a little person interested in people. And if something so small makes you upset, you need to lighten up and get a massage, a good book, a new baby, or a puppy... do anything but please don't punish this young soul.

A few things. To one of the responses. The Kinder classes in the school I teach have colored square rugs and desks. Standards are very high and since many kinders are full days desks are needed. To the other responses too-as a teacher (and parent) I don't think it is only up to the teacher. Asking if she is a first year teacher is silly too. For a child to have success a teacher and parent must work together. Don't be upset. I teach second grade and most of my kids want to talk to their friends. They are little! Just tell the teacher your concerns. When I have troubles with my students I find rewards work well and like someone else said you can reward him too. Good luck! :-)

Some kids are naturally more active and social. I was one of them. I always trouble sitting still and keeping my mouth closed. The solution for me was to put my desk in the back row, so I would be less of a distraction. Then when the teacher saw I was getting antsy she will ask me to stand. That helped relieve some of my wiggles. I did eventually grow out of it but it was a long haul. It will take time for him to learn how to control himself. I suggest "practicing at home" have him sit at the dining table with some colors or paints or books and have a "still and quiet" time. First 10 min and then gradually increase the time as he is able.

T., I highly recommend watching Sir Ken Robinson's "How Schools Stifle Creativity." -> http://www.cnn.com/2009/OPINION/11/03/robinson.schools.st... or http://3.ly/4vVU

Excerpt:

"Education is about developing human beings, and human development is not mechanical or linear. It is organic and dynamic.

Like all living forms, we flourish in certain conditions and shrivel in others. Great teachers, great parents and great leaders understand those conditions intuitively; poor ones don't. The answer is not to standardize education, but to personalize and customize it to the needs of each child and community. There is no alternative. There never was."

With love,
L. (MAMA to 2 year old Dylan Orion....29 September 2007).

T., first he is 5. And second he is 5! What potential is he not showing? I will tell you what he is showing, brilliance (he 'can do it at home'), friendship, networking, charm, free will, and so much more!

T., every single one of my report cards growing up and now BOTH my daughters say things like : B. should socialize less, Rydel needs to stay in her desk, Taylor Rae should focus on her work more...BLAH BLAH BLAH. We are/were all honour students. We all were/are active in school sports, teams, students union etc.

AND I will tell you that in my 12 years of teaching my BEST students were the ones who got those comments on their report cards. They were/ are the ones who make a difference on this planet. SItting in a desk and conforming to someone else's rules is so 1950's.

Let your boy explore, ENCOURAGE him to explore and let him be 5.

B., B.A.;B.Ed.
Family Success Coach

The 1st thing I thought was, "where in the world is she sending her son to school?". I haven't seen a K class w/ desks. They all have that rug w/ the colored squares...and then some tables where the kids work in small groups. I have a hard time believing that most 5 yr old boys will sit at a desk. Good luck w/ that.

This is the teachers reponsenbility if you want to help you can tell him that you will reward him if he does as he should good lluck A. no hills

What does the teacher do to discipline your son? In LA, where my son is in school, they have Red, Green, Yellow Light cards in the Kindergarten classes for each kid. Each kid starts on Green for the day. The teachers give warnings for disruptive behavior but if you still don't behave you get to put your name under the Yellow Light. If the behavior is really bad you put your name under the Red Light and the parents are called. This method works with most of the kids because they don't want to get up in front of the class to move their names. However there are always one or 2 kids that still can't really control their behavior. That being said, not sitting still is normal behavior for a 5 year old boy, however, this is also the time for your son to learn proper classroom behavior because in first grade things get more serious. The good news is that most of this behavior corrects itself by first or 2nd grade as the kids become more mature. Definitely talk to the teacher about ways to let your son have some time to walk around during the day so he doesn't feel trapped in his seat. At home, you can try using a positive reinforcement incentive chart to help him. First make a calendar chart. For every day that your son behaves properly in school he gets a sticker and tell him that you're proud of him for following the rules. After 10 stickers (you set the number) he gets a special treat. The stickers don't have to be 10 days in a row... it may take a few weeks to get the first ten but after that first treat your son will want to get his stickers everyday. After a month or so the behavior should be better. At some point you won't have to do the stickers anymore.

Hope this helps! Good luck! It will get better!