SAHM Feeling Hopeless About Job Search

Updated on April 06, 2012
F.D. asks from Ridgefield, NJ
18 answers

I have posted before about my dilemma. I've been a SAHM since late 2008, lived overseas for 2 years and then came back to the US in 2010. I've been looking for a job for over a year now and have only had 3 interviews. I must have sent my resume out over 100 times if not more. I have tried to network with a few people and they said they would help but obviously that's not true. I had my resume done AGAIN, but I know it's my job gap keeping employers away. Does anyone have any advice on how someone like me can get a decent job? And, I really don't have time to volunteer right now. I'm feeling very hopeless about ever finding a job again. :(

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Google "stay at home mom what to put on resume" and see what comes up. You did a lot of things - how they apply to the work world is the key. Hope some of the google links help!

1 mom found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

The job market is tough right now. My twins graduated and it took my daughter 4 months to get a job and my son months to get one. Both right out of college with excellent grades who had worked part time while attending school.

Have you thought about using a temp agency? My son found his job through a temp agency. The company he works for doesn't hire straight out any more. Instead they use a temp agency to get their workers. If someone doesn't work out then they just call the agency and have them send someone else over. If the person works out well then they hire.

Most of the jobs with the temp agencies are a commitment of several months. Why don't you look into something like that?

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Maybe your best bet is to address the job gap right from the get-go?
In your cover letter, discuss that you have not worked from abc to xyz because you were raising your little O.(s).
Then add that you are now ready to re-enter the workforce, solidly covered for child care now that the kid(s) are older and are ready once again for the challenge of a FT career.

5 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Have you asked the people that turned you down what turned them off? A lot of times they will tell you. It may be a simple tweak.

2 moms found this helpful
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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

Focus and spend your energy wisely. Rather than send out 100 resumes, do more research and direct your efforts where you have the best chance to get through.

Make time for friends who support you. This may take longer than you had hoped. You may not be able to change that but you can make sure that your support system is in place to keep you strong as you carry on.

Find resources in your area. Check out the unemployment office, women's resources, the library. In our town, the librarian will give you a free hour of her undivided attention to do a job search using library resources. We also have a Worksource office with free classes in everything from computer skills to interviewing secrets. Our library has free computer classes. Community ed has low cost classes. Not only will you gain skills, but you will meet people and who knows where that may lead.

I'm in the same boat you are. It's tough out there. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

How much effort are you truly putting into your job search? An hour/week, 5 hours/week...50 hours/week??? Did you take the computer classes last year that you wrote about?

Finding a quality job is fulltime+!! There are so many resources and connections but you need to work hard for it. Research companies in your field, connect with recruiters, join groups on Linkedin, be persistent, communicate well, sell yourself and just address that you were a SAHM and move on. You really have to put 100% into this and I'm afraid if you don't have time to volunteer while you are not even working then you don't have the time to work or properly look for a job.

I found myself laid off last year for the first time ever. I was very focused on who I wanted to work for and probably interviewed with 90% of the companies I applied for. I had many interviews, presented many business plans, stalked would be colleagues on Linkedin, flew all over and I landed a dream position that was a promotion in eight weeks...with a 40% increase in pay.

**Sue W. is so right about the job coach! I used a national company, it was part of my severance package. It was extremely helpful, job hunting had changed since the last time I had done it 13 years prior.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I wouldn't just "have your resume done", I'd hire a job coach. Even a few sessions with an experienced job coach could help you refine your resume, your elevator pitch, your search strategy, and your interviewing skills.

Google "job coach ridgefield NJ" or "life coach ridgefield NJ". Some life coaches specialize in job coaching. Here is a site with a list:
http://www.ipeccoaches.com/coaches/new-jersey-life-coach

Interview two are three until you feel comfortable with one.

1 mom found this helpful
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W..

answers from Chicago on

If you don't have time to volunteer, how do you have time for a job? I'm assuming the job will cover childcare? However, volunteering in the area is one of the BEST ways to re-enter the workforce. Even if it's just for a couple hours each week. It gets you 'out there'.

Not sure what area you are trying to get hired in, but the job market is still tough. There are people with stellar job experience and no gaps that can't find a job.
It may NOT be your gap that's holding you back. In fact, the #1 reason for not getting a job right now is OVER-qualification. Your gap may help you because the prospective employer doesn't have to pay a larger salary to compensate for your experience. They can get you cheaper, and that is what they are looking for at this point.
But that's only if you have a realistic expectation of what job you are qualified for and a realistic salary expectation.

Networking and vounteering is how you get a job. Not sending out 100s of resumes. You can also work with a recruiter or headhunter (at the cost of the employer, not you) depending on the field in which you want to work.
Networking is not getting a person to say once that they will help you. Networking is setting up informational interviews. It's joining job-hunting groups. It's going to functions where you can meet prospective employers and following up with them. It's not counting on them to get you a job.

Contact your states employment office (or whatever it's called where you live..... it would be the same place where you would file for un-employment, but they have TONS of resources for anyone who is looking for a job).

Are you marketable? How are your computer skills? Should you take a computer class (usually offered FREE through your state). Should you try and get a certificate in something? This may also be free.

If childcare is an issue so that you can do some job-training or volunteer, find someone with whom you can 'trade out' childcare and they'll watch your kid(s) while you volunteer and you can watch their kid(s) at whatever time.

You can also get a job in the position under the position that you want and work your way up.

You can also go back to school. That puts you re-entering the workforce as a new grad, rather than as someone with a job-gap.

Good Luck

1 mom found this helpful
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L.H.

answers from New York on

1. The job market is really bad, so there's a lot of competition. People who promise to help, may not be able to so don't be so h*** o* them. Keep good relations.
2. List your skills and brush up on creating an awesome resume. Brush up on your vocabulary if you have to. Words are power, so the bigger your vocabulary is, the more learned you appear.
3. Go to your local unemployment office. Often times they have great opportunities that people really don't know are there. They have jobs you can train into and listings not listed in newpapers.
4. Teach yourself new skills...read, read, read.
5. Dress for the job and dress modest. No mini skirts or cleavage, save that for your hubby. Wear sensible shoes like low heeled pumps or flats.
6. Start from the bottom up. You might have to get a low paying job first to get back into the job market, instead of holding out for a "decent job."
7. Be patient.

After my hubby got his masters, he had trouble finding a job in his field too. He had to work as a waiter and a part time low-paying job related to his field first, before he could get a good job. He also studied like crazy. We spent every week-end in the book store.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

You may also want to do a skills vs timeline resume. http://jobsearch.about.com/od/resumes/a/resumegap.htm

If you did any volunteer work (hey, serving on the PTA can count for leadership skills), list that, too.

It is a much harder market out there than when you left it. You really need to apply, apply, apply and not get too discouraged. Also, look outside the box. Not just what you did, but what could you do? You lived overseas - does that mean you have some language skills that you didn't previously?

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

The last time I found myself out of work, I contacted approximately 20 businesses a day.
I contacted people who weren't even posting jobs.

I looked up the local Chambers of Commerce in the cities near me and began contacting the businesses listed with them. I asked them if they knew of any new businesses or "hot" businesses to contact. I asked them if they knew of anyone who might be hiring.
That's how I got my current position. The job was never advertised or even posted. Two employees were leaving and I happened to call out of the blue with the right skills and qualifications. I was hired and absorbed both positions, and then some.

Sending resumes is great, but getting out and actually letting employers see you in person makes a huge difference. Like I said, think outside the box and contact businesses near you even if they don't have jobs posted.
I had another job in a month and I live in a terribly economically depressed area.
Get yourself out there by phone and in person as much as possible.

Best wishes.

P.S. After my divorce, I hadn't worked in 10 years. I walked in to a business on a whim, was hired, and stayed 6 months until I was offered a much better position.
Getting a job isn't easy, but go out, dress ready for an interview, dress ready to start work that day, and sell yourself. Have all your bases covered at home so you don't start off with all the times you CAN'T work.

Turn the energy you're spending feeling hopeless into feeling that you are successful and a job will come along. Be confident.

Working in HR, employers love that.

Best wishes.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

What kind of job are you looking for? I know when I sit in on interviews, I do take a note if there was a gap. However, I am in the IT profession, and gaps are a big problem. It says to me that the person has not likely kept up with the profession, which changes all the time and quickly. If they show they have kept current while being a SAHM, say through side projects or just for fun projects, then I generally feel more inclined to consider the person.
Perhaps it's time to do some refresher with a couple of classes. This will get your foot back in the door and give you some people to network with that are in your profession.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You might call your college and find out some numbers to head hunters for your field. They should still offer those services to Alumni. If not start calling local ones and find out when they have job fairs.

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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

In a lot of areas, it is a full time job just to look for a job... I have been told that you have to put in almost 40 hours a week or more just looking.

I became a SAHM in July 2009 when my employer of 12 years closed their doors... I looked for almost a year (sending out over 250 resumes) before I had an opportunity to go back to school, which took about a year. After getting certified in Medical Billing & Coding - I finally got calls on my resume when I was hospitalized with mini-strokes, a brain bleed and blood clots for nearly 3 weeks... so needless to say I wasn't able to answer the calls :( At this time I haven't been released to work, so hubby has been doing odd jobs in home repairs (was his hobby) to get us by.

Don't get discurages... keep trying. Sometimes when you have gaps, you are better off trying to get a temp position to rebuild you skills - plus a lot of the temp jobs are temp to hire. Which means if they like you after your 30 - 90 day temp contract, they will hire you out right. A lot more companies are going this rount because it is cheaper to bring in temp to train, then someone off the streets and they get to "test drive" you a little without all the personnel expenses and paperwork.

I wish you luck in your search & finding something you will love - in the mean time... enjoy some of your time with your kids & family - you'll miss it once you are working.

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Is there a job placement place or do you know someone who has a friend who does a lot of hiring... and you could sit down w/ them for an hour show up dressed how you would for an interview, answer some questions for them as though they were interviewing, etc. and then get some honest feedback from them?

I had a friend who's husband was in a similar position for 3 years... he spoke in such a blow-hard manner/tone (kind of pompous) and I'm sure that was holding him back big time. I'm not saying that's what you're doing but maybe it's something small like that - that you could easily tweak??

Also - are you utilizing your college's alumni office?? I know mine is super involved and have contacts all over the country. BEst of luck to you, and choose not to be hopeless.... b/c it is a choice. I've been there.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Try getting a job at a school.
That is what I did. I work part time at my kids' school.
Then I have the same holidays and vacations and hours as them.
Convenient for a SAHM.
I am a SAHM. But work part time at school.

Schools know many Moms are SAHMS. Who previously worked.
Depending on the job, you don't have to have rocket scientist resumes or previous job history.

I don't know what your job background is.
But working at a school, is an option.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

Sign up with some temp agencies. It's a good way to get your foot in the door.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

I actually added a "volunteer job" on my resume about being a stay-at-home mom. Some of the skills needed are organizational as well as budget oriented and I am in marketing so I worded it to be positive. I also googled and looked at other people's resumes on LinkedIn.com to get ideas.
I got my part time job by taking a data entry job at the place I worked last before staying home with the kids. They called me since I know the products, even though the work was super simple. That 3 month assignment lasted a year and then they kept extending me to do more and more of my old job, until after 3 years they made me a part time employee.
I suggest to speak with a placement agency and see what you qualify for. Even you do not like the temp job you just finish the contract and then find something else. It is a great way to decide if you like working there.

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