Hi, It is so hard being a first time mom. I had tons of nieces and nephews prior to having my first child. I knew what to do, my sister was a nurse, I had worked in the health care for many years so I thought I would be okay. Well, when it is your first child, I was anxious, nervous, was I doing the right thing or the wrong thing. Many questions. I would lay awake all night long because I was afraid of SIDS. In regards to placing your child in child care, there is an adjustment. It is actually harder for the parent then the child. Yes there is an adjustment, the baby will cry, but that is okay. I have learned after 3 kids, that you can let a baby cry. As your baby gets a little older, you will recognize the cries. I am not saying to totally ignore the cries of your infant, but like I said you will in time recognize the type of crying your child is expressing. As far as the sleeping situation, your child will begin to move all over the bed, and even though you feel you are being safe as safe can be, your child will be safer in the bassinet. You will need to sleep and rest as well. We all want our children next to us, we want them safe and close to us, but in the end it you are hurting the both of you. People have different thoughts on this, pick up a child as soon as he or she cries, the baby needs to feel secure but the other thought is that the infant ends up controlling the family and as years pass, the infant becomes a toddler, toddler becomes a child, and when you need to drop off your child at daycare, it is harder on the child and the day care. Take little steps, it is a good idea that you are leaving the house for a little bit and leaving the baby with other loved ones. Yes, your baby will cry, yes your baby might not eat at first, but know that when a baby is hungry, regardless of the situation, he/she will eat, he/she will sleep and he/she will adjust to the new changes, The one that will have the hardest adjustment is the mom and it will never stop. My son, the oldest now will be graduating from middle school, I cried when my daughter entered middle school this year and I am very sad that my youngest only as a year left in grammer school. Once in a while my kids hop into bed with me, especially when Dad is working nights, they feel bad for me sleeping alone. I kind of like sleeping alone-it is my free time. But my kids all went to child care as infants, they all went to pre-school, I did not always pick them up when they cried, but my kids are all loving, affectionate, and they are secure and know that they are loved which is the most important thing. So good luck. I truelly believe it is so much harder for mom and moms go through separation anxiety more than the kids and dad.It stays with us for life, but that is okay, because when you see the outcome of your kids, seeing they are becoming good kind hearted mini adults doing well in school and still cuddle with mom, then you did an okay job. Yea you will make mistakes-we all do, we are after all only human, but all you can do is your best, do not beat yourself up, and one of the biggest and hardest things to do is when you make a mistake regarding your child, no matter how young your children are, apologize, admit your mistake, take into account the hurt that you have caused as well, you are acknowledging their pain, their joy, letting them know that we adults are not always perfect and make mistakes as well but we can always try to do better. Yes we want your children to have us up on a pedistal, but reality is we make mistakes, and I would rather admit my wrongs,take into account their feelings, apologize then to see their dissappointment in me in their eyes.
