Quick! What's the Norm for Kids Who Aren't Feeling Well at School?

Call and ask to talk to the principal. When the school secretary screens your call and says she can't talk to you, tell her that you expect a call before she walks out the door because you are EXTREMELY upset with the substitute teacher. (Leave out the Spanish teacher until you tell her on the phone.) Tell her that you are waiting for that call.

Look, I subbed. So I'm being really honest in my opinion here. She had NO business telling the child no. Specifically because she was the sub, she did not know that this is a kid who doesn't just ask for the nurse for any old reason. She has no excuse for this.

The sub and the Spanish teacher need to be reprimanded.

You know, of course, that he can't go back to school until his temp is normal for 24 hours. I hope he feels better soon. Meanwhile, the school needs the wakeup call.

Dawn

You did everything the way most all of us would have. You checked his temperature in the a.m., there was no vomiting, etc. It was OK to send him. But the teacher should have listened. If it were his REGULAR teacher, and she knew for instance that he was (theoretically here) a child who was stressed about and resistant to writing, I could see her saying, "Let's wait a while and see how you feel" because she might know the child was not happy about being in writing class. But the sub was out of line for dismissing him in the way she did and with the word she did.

I would definitley tell the school that your son asked three times to see the nurse, was told no each tiime, and came home with a fever high enough that you would have picked him up right away -- had someone called you. I would tell the main office since they, not the regular teacher, control the subs, and let them know you are displeased that three requests were turned down.

Do an e-mail as well as a call. The person who posted "get a paper trail" is right.

In our school he would have been sent to the nurse on the first request.

At our school, if the kid says they feel sick, the teacher is required to send them to the nurse. The nurse then takes their temperature, and makes a determination if the child needs to go back to class or needs to have his/her parents called. Any fever and the child is automatically sent home.

(After a couple of times being sent to the nurse it becomes obvious who does it to get out of work and who does it when they're sick.)

The teachers should have sent him to the nurse.

Almost this EXACT thing happened to my son in 2nd grade. He had a sub as well, asked to go to the nurse (was told "no"), asked to put his head down (was told "no") and he stuck it out the rest of the day. The MINUTE he got off the bus I knew something was wrong. Before he even spoke. He had a fever and puked 3 times that night.
I was PISSED to say the least. After my son got well I told him that he has the power to get up and leave the classroom if he does not feel well. He can walk straight to the nurses office and tell them to call me. If his teacher or anyone else got mad at him then *I* would take care of it.
I also went to his teacher and let him know how upset I was and told him that I had told my son that he has permission to get up and leave class if he did not feel well and the teacher did not believe him. He looked a bit stunned and asked me if I was sure that I wanted to give my child that kind of power.
You betcha.
I know my kid. He's not an exaggerator at all. If he says he is sick then he is sick.
If I was in your position not ONLY would I have a big talk with the teachers that denied my child care but I would also talk with my own child about what he can do if that happens again.
L.

Its all about documentaion nowadays. I normally send a note in with the sick child to forwarn the teacher, call the school and forwarn the staff or nurse directly, so that when the child says "I don't feel good, they take him seriously". Always document via e-mail, actual note and verbally. It makes things easier on everybody. You are then all on the same page.

I would have done the same as you did. My oldest woke up with a stomach ache every single day in kindergarten and first grade. To this day, she still complains of stomach aches on occassion. Anyway, a few years ago, the same thing happend to her and the teacher told her no twice. Turns out, she was really really sick and had strep throat. But the teacher wouldn't send her to the nurse. When I contacted the teacher about it, she said she was really sorry, but she gets 22 requests to go to the nurse each and every day and she has to determine what needs are real and what needs are "made up." I understand, but I did request that if in the future my daughter, who LOVES school, complains of not feeling well, then she really doesn't feel well and should be looked at.

So, I understand your concern. But, try to see it from the teachers perspective too. Especially a sub, who doesn't know your kids temperment. Request that in the future your childs requests to see the nurse be taken more seriously.

I woud be ripping someone's head off!!!! Ok, I get that the sub might not have taken him seriously the FIRST time, BUT if she had truly looked at your son, she quite possibly could have seen he wasn't acting like a "normal" little boy! She's probably one of these teachers that thinks everyone is faking it!!! Those kind get me soooooooooooooo angry!!!! Then for the Spanish teacher not to take him at his word, that just bugs me!

I've worked with Kindergartners many years, and I get that the teachers are tired of kids requests to go to the bathroom, drinking fountain, etc., all the time but if any of his teachers would have really looked at him and observed his behavior, they would have realized he was not faking it.

I kinda wish your little guy would have thrown up right on the sub!!! Would have served her right!!!

As for sending him in if he wasn't quite up to par - I went thru that with my daughter (more than my son) - it's a tough call to know just how bad they are. I mean come on, who the heck feels 100% ready to jump out of bed and into a classroom so early in the morning every single day! I know I don't!!

Usually I would just tell my daughter she'd feel better once she got in class and got around her friends and if she didn't, then go to the office and have them call me. Sometimes everything went fine; sometimes it didn't. Then I would get a call to come and get her. If she had a fever or diarrhea, then I definitely never sent her in. (She's in high school now, and I still tell her basically the same thing!!)

In my opinion, you did everything right; the school, however, did not!!

Good luck with your phone call and hugs to your little guy!!

In general it is they stay home if you know it is contagious, well and not a cold, colds you send them, fever or throwing up. Most of it is common sense.

Obviously the idea is that they learn, not childcare, so if you know your child isn't going to learn in their condition, you keep them home as well.

A lot of kids lie to get out of things so unless the parent calls the school and says I think he may be under the weather, the school is going to assume it is drama.
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My kids have been taught by their dad that faking gets you what you want, staying home. So when they pull it with me I am not sure what is going on. The school has never given me or the kids trouble when I call and say they claim to be sick but I am sending them. On the flip side I get calls from the school, this is the fifth time he has come down, we know nothing is wrong can you talk to him.

I guess I am saying always best if everyone is on the same page.

For a fever, its the 24 hour fever free without medicine.

I would be ticked! What would it have hurt them to send him to the nurse, and have the nurse check him out. So what if he was just trying to get out of work. For him to ask 1 teacher 3 times and be told no after the 2nd is just wrong. I can understand that she didn't want to be taken advantage of, but there has to be a 'common sense' factor in it too.

Hope he feels better.

Okay Im going to give another view of this. My daughter played the my tummy hurts and her teacher was quick to send her to the nurse, who was quick to call me because she had been in there for 15 minutes and didnt feel better. Went to get her (both of us are working parents) get her home and she is runnign around normal no tummy ache no nothing. Now I know she gets nervous belly and after the S. time I talked to the teacher and we just send mints with her to school and she can go get one to soothe her belly (placebo or not it works) My husband told the teacher unless she runs a fever or pukes dont send her to the nurse. Although I told her since she has been a teacher for quite some time you can tell when a child doesnt feel well and then she could send her if she seemed out of sorts too. Teachers hear my stomach hurts all the time so im sure that a lot of the time they don't want to be so quick to say go to the nurse. Maybe your son was acting totally normal talking, acting like a normal kindy so she didnt send him. I wouldnt be upset and if you go to the school like this they will make sure they call you every little ache your son has and if you are a working mom you will have to go get him.

We've sent kids to school if it was iffy and told them to go to the nurse if they feel worse. Sometimes they make it the full day, sometimes they do not. I would contact the school and ask them why your child repeatedly asked to see the nurse and was denied. Sure, sometimes kids go to the nurse to skip a test, but they also go when it's legit. I can see maybe saying no the first time if you're not sure, but if a kid asks again - what was the reason not to send him? Let the nurse decide if he's sick or not. I actually think the sub should have erred on the side of caution *because* she doesn't know the kid well. And, frankly, so what if a kindergartner wanted to get out of writing? You send it home for homework if he goes to the nurse and misses it. It's not like he's asking in the middle of an AP exam.

I think you are doing the right thing to follow up.

ETA: If your son develops nurse-itis (or a case of the Mondays) then bring him home and treat him like he's sick. No running around doing fun things. If you are sick, you rest in bed. You eat sick food. You don't get to go out to play or play with friends. My SS played sick every other Monday for a while and DH even took him to the doctor a time or two. Explaining how much time and money was wasted was part 1. Treating him like he was truly sick was part 2. Not so much fun when you have to go to bed and can only sleep or read because the TV and game console is in another room. SS learned not to do that anymore.

He suppose to be able to tell his teacher if he feels ill and she/they should send him to the nurse.
The nurse will check temp and decide to either send him back to class or phone home for you to pick him up.
With flu season approaching (and some schools are being hit with it now), they'd rather send a sick kid home than continue having him spread the germs to others.
I would talk to his teachers and the principal (and nurse) and inform them that when your child says he's not feeling well, he's not one who jokes around about it (to get out of work).
You PREFER that the nurse check him out and then make a determination on whether you should be called or not.
It's not easy having/being a sick kid - they can be right on the edge and you just don't know which way they will go sometimes.
I remember being in 2nd grade and telling my teacher I felt like throwing up.
She sent me to the nurse.
On the way, I threw up (which was awful because I was hurrying to get to the nurse so unfortunately it wasn't just one spot, I left a trail that ran a good ways down the hall.
So I get to the nurse and she's asking if I'm feeling any better and I said "A little". She asked if I still felt like throwing up and I said no - because I just threw up in the hall by room 101, 102 and 103.
Oh Dear!
Yeah - they sent me home. The janitor wasn't happy (he got his bucket of sawdust out and was mopping up when I went to get my things from class).
These things just happen sometimes!

You handled it the way I would have. But I suggest writing an email to the nurse, and cc the teachers involved. I always like to have a "paper trail" when dealing with these kinds of school issues. It also gives you a chance to reword your concerns and avoid unnecessary verbal misunderstandings. Good luck.

My daughter can be a bit of a hypochondriac sometimes and frequently says her tummy hurts or her ear hurts as a method to stay with me. Like you, I send her to school unless she has a fever, vomiting or is clearly feeling yucky. However, on days when I think she might truly be under the weather, I send a note to the teacher to let her know that my daughter may be under the weather and to call me if needed. If I'm really worried, I'll call the school and check on her mid-day.

The teachers were wrong not to at least send him to the nurse when he said he didn't feel well. Besides everything else, you want your son to know that adults in charge will believe him when he shares a concern with them. You don't want him to be afraid to tell an authority figure that something is wrong. You also don't want your son accused of lying when he's telling the truth...he should not just be assumed to be lying. So, the teachers were definitely wrong. I'd probably still give the teacher a heads-up in the future, just to err on the side of caution.

I can never tell with my son as he goes to see the nurse on a bi-weekly basis...with a "stomach ache"...one day I sent him to school with a "stomach ache" and he walked off the bus right into the nurses office and threw up all over the floor.

When she called she told me this time it was a "real stomach ache" and we had a good laugh. Then I went and picked him up...

It is such a hard call at 6:30am to decide if they are really sick if there is no vomiting or fever...when in doubt like you I send them and expect a call if they go down hill...

Make sure he asked to see the nurse and not just asked if he could call you to go home...my Kinder girl was feeling bad one day and I asked her why she didn't go to the nurse and she told me she didn't know there was a nurse...but she did ask the teacher (a sub) if she could go home and the sub said no. Her real teacher would have had red lights go off all over as she LOVES school...but alas those subs...mine got off the bus that day running a 102.7

Big hugs to you...hope he feel better!!

Hello... as a parent, we know our kids very well. We are able to really know when something is bothering them & when they are and aren't sick or when they are "faking" it just to get out of something. But we have been mom for a while now & do know our kids a little better then their teachers do.

Some kids do fake things, but not normaly during play time. I do have a son that would do ANYTHING to get out of writing... so the teacher might have said that because that is something she is use to seeing & really doesn't know your son - even more so if it was a sub. As for the Spanish teacher, she was most likely not told that your son had already asked about seeing the nurse, so she may have thought he just didn't like Spanish because he though to was to hard. Kids tend to ask to do other things when they think something is to hard. But for a kids to ask during free time or play time... that should have been a sign that something is wrong.

Now that being said... my daughter has a habit of saying she is in pain just to go see the nurse & talk to her for a little while because she likes the nurse. I usually am told at the end of the day which of my kids came to visit... at least 3 times a week my daughter does. I do know that my daughter is usually in pain on Wednesday... because that is the day after dance & she does need her pain meds that day. So, I do understand that one... but most of the other times it is just to talk. Don't get me wrong, I do know my daughter can be in pain due to her arthritis, but she seems to only have bad spells in school - I haven't figured that one out yet. Part of me thinks it is - if she is in pain she can use the elevator, if she is not she has to use the stairs... and she feels special when she uses the elevator cause no one else can use it.

As to do nurses call home when kids are sick - yes they should call if the kids need to come home. If my kids are "nursed" back to health, I am just told at the end of the day when I pick up the kids... our nurse is also the crossing gaurd.

The rules for sick kids at our school is - they have to stay home 24 hours after the fever brakes or vomiting/diarrhea stops. But sadly most parent don't follow the rule & the kids end up in the nurses room all day cause the nurse can't reach the parents.

I hope your little man feels better soon!!

It's usually the "fever test" that my daughter's school uses. She's had the "Kindergarten Crud" since the S. week of school. Basically one thing just rolled into others, one after another. Poor thing, she's finally on the mend.

So far no one has told her "no" about going to the nurse, the few time she's gone, the nurse checked her temp right off and if it was normal she was off to class again. I did get a call her S. visit in a week though, but we decided it was a case of "I don't want to" and not that she was feeling poorly. The first time she did have a fever and was asked to stay home a day (24 hours) or until she no longer had a fever.

It's obvious the SUB doesn't know your son. Talk to the office staff and the nurse yourself. I suggest doing it on days where you think your son MIGHT need to visit later in the day. Example: Feeling and/or acting "off", but no fever. Find out if he'll have a SUB that day(s) and let the nurse know that your son might be visiting and if there's anyway she could peek in on him and see if he's asked to see her because last time he wasn't allowed to by the SUB.