Question About When to Put Boys in Same Room

Updated on August 11, 2008
J.B. asks from Camarillo, CA
22 answers

I have 2 boys, one is 3 1/2 and the other is just 1 yr. Currently they each have their own rooms. We have a 3 bedroom house and I would like to put them in the same room in order to give us an office/guest room again. Does any one have suggestions for when would be a good time to do this? They have the same afternoon nap time, but my little one wakes up earlier in the morning and goes to bed earlier. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

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E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Now is as good a time as ever. Actually, the earlier the better. That way they will be used to each other in the room and it will cause less conflicts.

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E.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,
I also have a 3 bedroom house so I understand the space issue. I have 2 boys and they are 16 months apart and have shared a room since birth. They are now 9 and almost 11. There has never been any problem with their sleep habits, just an overcrowded room due to all the toys. I think it's great for them to share a room. I think it has helped them bond ever more as they get older. Good luck!

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A.K.

answers from San Diego on

We did a "trial run" when we visited my parents. We put the two kids in the same room at 2 years and 7 months. We decided they are definatley not ready since the younger one is a very light sleeper. I think it depends a lot on your kids. I strongly recommend trying them out sleeping in the same room somewehre other than your own house so you can see how it goes.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi J., No good tim,e like the present, my 2 boys shared a room at 3 and 1, shared a room almost their entire child hood. today they are 24 and 21 and the best of friends. J.

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K.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am going through the same decision right now! It was great reading all the responses. I have a boy and a girl, but still plan to have them share. She will be one at the end of the month and I think we will try then!

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

i have both of my boys in the same room. one son is 3 and the other 9 months. it works out very nice. they both go to bed about the same time well they play but it is ok. i think it helped with bonding

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L.D.

answers from San Diego on

Good question. I raised 3 boy and 2 of them shared the same room. Not always the easyest thing to do. But the younger the better. It will give the oldest boy a chance to be a part of the youngers growing up and helping mon and dad with him. It is not always easy for them to learn to share their space and boys need their space. I would give it a try and see how it goes.

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N.H.

answers from San Diego on

I have a 2 year old boy and am now pregnant with another boy and I have thought about this same thing. We have enough space for separate rooms for each but after reading these wonderful posts about the bond that is generated and the giggles comming from the room at night I am definately going to try them in the same room when their sleep patterns are close enough to warrant it. Thanks for asking the question and thanks to everyone for sharing their stories!

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P.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

J.,
Whenever you are ready - that is a good time to put them together. They will adjust to being together and one another's schedules.
I have four boys. Because of the lack of space, they all share a bedroom. I have a triple bunk bed and a crib in the same room.
I hope that helps.
P.

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C.N.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

J.,

I think that it sounds like a good idea. They will be more companionable and cozy with a buddy to talk and play with and the 3 1/2 year old will be able to help the little one get dressed and give him good advice. That is what happens with my gr grandchildren. They are very close and it makes for a close relationship all through their lives. C. N.

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

We have 2 girls and I resisted putting them in the same room until the small one slept through the night, so she was about 13 months before it happened. It worked out well, my older one had started preschool and needed to wake early to get there and we just adjusted bedtimes so we put them down at the same time and they awoke at the same time. It was a pretty easy transition once we got the bedtimes adjusted. I love having them share a room. Sometimes I hear them whispering to each other and laughing. It is very sweet.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.:
My two sons were 2 years and 2 months apart,and They shared a room from real early on.I had one in the crib for a short time,and then the bunk bed.It didn't take long, and the little one wanted to sleep on the bottom bunk like his bro. I think in the beginning,I may have had them both go to bed at the same time, and then the oldest would sneak out and spend a little extra time with me. They did great.As a matter of fact, when we finally got into a house,where they had the option of having their own room,they said "NO WAY" They were buddies,and didn't want to be separated.They started out with bunk beds with rails of course,then as they got older,we took the bunk off and they had two twin beds across from each other.During their early teens,i'd get the occasional laughing from their room,when it was time for bed, but all and all it was wonderful for them to have company every night.They are grown and on their own now, and continue to have a wonderful relationship.I wish you and your darlin sons the best.

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M.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello J.,
My sons were exactly the same age when my 1yr old was crying every night wanting to be with his brother. So we put them in the same bed (full size bed at that time). They are now 4 & 6 1/2 and still sleeping in the same room. My younger one tends to wake up early - but will go back to sleep when he sees his brother is still sleeping. I believe it gives them a special bond. I will continue to keep them together until they let me know otherwise.
M.

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

Hi J.,
I have two boys who are 15 months apart. They are 3 and 2 years old now and they have been sharing a room since the youngest was able to sleep through the night at about 5 months. I have always separated them for naps since they don't seem to sleep as deeply during the day. And especially at this age, I think they would just play all afternoon in their beds if they were in the same room for naps (we just keep a playpen in the extra room and that is where the little one naps).
When I first put them in the same room, I wanted to wait until the baby was sleeping through the night so he did not disturb his big brother's sleep. I have since found out that they don't really wake each other up anyway. It may just be because they get used to each other, but we have had some illness and nightime upsets and the upset child rarely disturbs the other.
As for the different bedtimes and waketimes, I put my boys to bed at the same time, but the youngest usually falls asleep sooner that the oldest. My oldest is happy to sing and talk in his bed until he falls asleep. In the morning, their wake up times vary and it is usually my older boy who wakes up first, sometimes the younger, but they play happily in their beds until I get them both up at the same time. Maybe you could adjust one bedtime 1/2 hour earlier and the other bedtime 1/2 hour later so they can go to bed at the same time. Or if you don't want to change bedtimes, put the younger boy to bed at the usual time, then just be sure your older boy understands that he needs to get into bed and be very quiet when it is time for him to go to bed (go through the bedtime routine and hugs and kisses outside the room where the little one is sleeping). It may not disturb the baby at all.
My boys love sharing a room, and I hope yours do, too!

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D.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

J.,

I am a mother of two boys, two years apart, who are now in their 20's. Even though we had an extra room, they always shared a room. I feel that this brought them closer. They would talk about things in the night, felt safe having their brother in the room, etc. Later on, they both are musicians and would practice together, etc.

Their room was much larger than most typical bedrooms though. It was one bedroom with a step-down room that originally was a one-car garage. This gave each one their own space while still being one area. (and room for the drums, amps, etc.).

Hope this helps.

D. R.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

It all depends on whether putting them together will interfere with their sleep, or not.

Some kids don't combine well in the same room, some do.
Main thing is, you want them to be able to sleep, sleep well, and have a peaceful time sleeping. Lack of sleep= hardship for them and you.

Just try it. If it does not work, then you will know you need to separate them.

I would talk with the oldest child, or both, and explain the situation....let your boy be able to express himself about it without judgment, and then, explain that if it does not work out that they DO have the option of having their own rooms.

It will be a transition, since they are used to sleeping in their own rooms now. Also, the age difference factor.

For my kids, naturally they have different sleep patterns and bedtimes. But, if my older child is in the same room when my younger son goes to sleep, he will NOT sleep. Then, my girl wants to play with him.. and on and on, and then one wants to sleep and the other is not ready yet.. and then one gets fussy or a battle erupts. So... it does not work out smoothly, for us.

You'll just have to see what transgresses from the situation.. and if it will work out, and if they adapt to it or not.
As your eldest son gets older... you may need to separate them again, because he will probably want his "own space" and room again.

Good luck,
Susan

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm a mother of 2 boys 5 year apart. My son had his own room for 3 years (we lived in a 1 bedroom before we moved to a 3 bedroom house) when my youngest, around 1 1/2, he was able to share a room with him. They are now 10 and 5 and they love being together. Since my boys have a big age difference I wanted them to build a good bond. My 10 year-old helps me so much with my youngest, they never wake each other up and are very considerate (with the exception of who cleans the room):) over all I would do it as soon as possible. Maybe when they get older they would want their own room or not like some other responses.

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C.P.

answers from San Diego on

Hi J.,

My son is 10 months old and daughter is 3 years old. We recently moved into a three bedroom and decided to have them share a room to make the other bedroom into an office as well. To my surprise, they sleep great together! Very rarely does one wake up the other. I had thought that I would need to put one to sleep first, wait a while and then put the other one down but they go down at the same time very well, again to my surprise! When they were in separate rooms, my daughter would always wake up and go to my sons room, climb into his crib and lay with him and sing to him, of course waking him up (and she's up by 6:30am every day!). Since they've been in the same room together, she wakes up and leaves the room quietly, closes the door and doesn't wake him up at all. I'm amazed!

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C.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

i raised two boys two years apart & they always shared a room until they were 6 & 8. no preblem. it works!

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi There!
Great idea, we did the same with our daughters when the youngest was around 15 months and it went pretty smooth. OUr only hard time was naps which was solved by having the older one sleep in our room for naps. This was easier then fighting with them to quiet down and go to sleep. Eventually they were able to handle taking naps together.
Much luck!

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H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Two of my sons shared a room. They were just under 3 years apart. Both went to bed at the same time when small, but after the oldest started school, his bedtime was moved so he had 30 minutes after the other. It allowed me to work alone with him on math facts and reading after the other was in bed. The younger woke up before his brother and would just come out and get me. I think it worked out because he was able to get out of bed when he wanted to safely even when he was a one year old. I ended up leaving the side of the crib down because he was throwing his leg over the top edge and trying to get out that way and I was afraid he would fall.

If the younger one is sleeping through the night so you don't have to nurse/feed the younger, it should work out fine. My younger did not sleep through the night at one, but the older was a very sound sleeper and didn't wake up anyway.

Make sure you plan the change with them. Talk about how nice it is to share a room with a brother. Maybe get new matching bed spreads or something. Make the change special.
H.

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K.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

We put our boys in the same room once our littlest one was out of a crib. He stayed in his crub until he was well into his two's. So the boys were 4 and 2 when we put them together in a room. Even though we have a five bedroom house we want the boys to be close buddies and also it was an attempt to help them not be scared at night. They share the same bed and it has been such a blessing! They no longer wake up in the middle of the night!!! They have the same nap schedule. My older takes a shorter nap but he doesn't wake his brother when he gets up. They do go to bed at the same time which is a pretty key in the whole process. I can't imagine putting them down for the night at different times. That would be really difficult!

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