Prepping for a Cat

i'm glad you're considering a cat, and really glad you're asking questions first. very smart.

i'm going to start with your most concerning question. 'soft adoption' sounds nice but is a terrible idea. do your due diligence first, and when you commit, commit. it's incredibly traumatizing for any animal to start to bond with a family and then get yanked away. and that trauma might well make that cat unadoptable for any subsequent family he might get.

do not go into this thinking it's a test drive. it's unfair to everyone.

DO spend time with each prospective cat and see how it makes you feel. if you're horribly allergic, you'll probably know pretty soon. my husband is mildly allergic to most cats but only has a severe reaction to a few. ditto my daughter-in-law to be (who is a vet tech and has to take meds.) most cats only bother her a little but my siamese sets her off so badly that she increases her meds when she's coming her and (to her great sorrow) she limits her time petting Marley.

yes, you can start allergy shots beforehand.

any cat can be a problem cat but most aren't. don't take the horror stories and run with them. most cats are pretty easy, easier than most other pets.

cats can be conditioned out of certain problem behaviors to some extent, but they're not trainable like dogs are trainable. my cats are good about most things, but will scratch furniture and get on the counters if not checked. we have scratching posts which satisfy the girls, but still have to use a spray bottle (and yelling) with the ancient boy cat. he does like to hook a couch.

that being said, we've had the couch for 20 years and it doesn't look bad. he only does it now and then.

spray bottles are excellent things.

we redirect and/or spray if they get on the counter.

don't leave your chicken on the counter.

they're not like dogs in that you need to find an older one that's litter trained. most cats litter train automatically. you can get a kitten and litter train it in a day. in fact, you might be better off with a kitten, as they won't have any of the psychological trauma of an older cat who has lost its family (possibly through a 'soft adoption.')

most shelters will, hopefully, be upfront about a cat that hates kids. but most don't. the flip side is that you can't be sure that any cat will like YOUR kids. do several visits and have everyone handle and play with the cat BEFORE you adopt.

good luck! i hope you find the right kitty baby to be a family member for years to come.

ETA oh PLEASE don't listen to the advice to declaw. declawing is mutilation. i speak from experience. when i was young i reluctantly agreed to get a cat declawed so i could live with a family member who insisted on it. it went fine, so i thought it was fine and had it done to a cat i acquired several years later. it was NOT fine. and since then there's been a ton of research on how painful and psychologically damaging it is to declaw cats. if your furniture is more important than your pets, don't get pets.

khairete
S.

I am a cat person so can answer some of your questions.

Some in our family have allergies. Have your children been tested? Because I think it can be genetic.

It meant a lot of misery for our one child (allergy quite extreme).

Our cat didn't like kids. So it was kind of a bummer. Didn't hurt them - just was antisocial. So it's quite a lot of work (litter, etc.) and cost for a pet that really wasn't into our family.

If you see if the cat likes your children beforehand (easier with an older cat) this is beneficial. (ETA: by this I mean, just seeing if the cat will come over and say, rub up against you, show that it is friendly if you just hang out and are quiet, for a while .. not necessarily bringing it home with your family for a period of time).

However, we took one in for a friend once, and the cat found children in the house too stressful. It peed in the bed. It was a male and was a few years old. It ruined a bed (once it pees in one spot they tend to want to go back). We were able to successfully rehome and cat was much happier (less stressed) with a lady, no other pets/children.

The claw thing (ruining furniture) can be a concern - but you can clip with clippers. Key is to get them relaxed and used to this early. Vet can show you. (ETA: this is just done like nail scissors).

Litter training is not hard. Litter box clean up is minimal - not pleasant but not a big chore. I never had issues with kittens waking at night or anything of the sort. The only issue I had was when my cat went into heat (she did that meowing nonstop) and then I had her fixed promptly.

I love cats personally :)

ETA: Mine was just antisocial but many are very friendly and come to sit in your lap, etc. She did mellow with age. Quite frankly, I didn't blame her. Our household was like a daycare for many years.

We just adopted a cat and I turned out to be hugely allergic. My allergist is telling me my kids have a chance of developing allergies too so now we are keeping an eye on them. If I had it to do over again, I would do the allergy testing first so I knew where I stood. I have a few other really common allergies so getting rid of the cat wouldn't be that much of a help. For now I am doing the allergy shots and hoping to reach a stable level. We don't let the cat on our bed and he does have a room of his own where he spends a lot of his day and evening. Basics like a good HEPA filter and routinely vacuuming help. We don't have much carpeting so that is also another bonus.

Now with all of that said our young adult dog died two months ago with zero warning. We are and have always been dog people. The decision to get a cat was a HUGE one. I didn't want a cat adoption fail so I researched a lot before taking the plunge. Getting rid of the cat is not really an option for my still grieving kids plus I think it is really unfair to the animal. Fortunately with patience and research, we picked a cool cat who is happily fitting into the mix so we the adults are not much interested in getting rid of the cat either. We chose to adopt an adult cat since we would know the personality as best as possible and we could avoid the kitten phase which we were not keen on. We talked at length with an adoption agency we had used for finding our dog. We used their expertise and honesty to find the best fit for us as a family. I recommend you spend time finding an agency you trust. We tried adopting at a few other agencies but it always felt like they were pushing for adoption regardless if it was a good fit. It left us feeling cold. We believe the right animal and the right family matters more than placing animals quickly and without thinking it through.

We spent a few weeks looking at cats before picking our cat. We were willing every single time to leave empty handed and the adoption agency fully supported us in “just looking.” I looked on my own and also we looked as a family. It was easier to bring the kids in at the last meeting than do the whole family search. At home I created cat zones which are strictly for the cat. He has two window perches just out of child reach but with outdoor views for cat entertainment. We also got him a giant cat tree which is cat only, no kids. We explained how these toys are just for the cat and we must leave them alone. My kids (5, 7 and 14) are fine with the ground rules - everyone needs their special space is not a difficult message to understand. I read some Jackson Galaxy articles and books, Googled and read other blogs, trying to get a feel for what to expect from the adoption to the cat owner experience.

For the first two weeks I had the cat confined to one room. I put a Feliway dispenser in there at the recommendation of both our vet and the adoption agency. His cat tower and one of the perches was also in there along with his litter box and water/food dishes. We spent those first two weeks hanging out with the cat in his room but not forcing him to interact with us. The kids would watch movies and I would read a book. We kept everything very low key and driven by the cat; the vet strongly urged us to follow the cat’s lead and not push too hard, too fast. The first few times I let him out from his room you could see him getting immediately tense so I would put him back in his room to relax. For the next couple of nights we let him out after the kids were in bed so the energy level was lower and he could explore the wider house freely. Over the course of that week as he settled in the wider house, we began to let him out first after dinner and then finally when we first got home. It was a process and we went slowly so he would keep his confidence and not become terrified. Overall he has settled beautifully and seems confident for the most part. Once we let him out of his room, he doesn’t go running and hiding. He hangs out on one of his perches and plays with one of us pretty regularly. We make it a point to play with him often so he doesn’t get bored. A bored cat gets into trouble was the vet’s advice. He is not a lap cat and he does not like being picked up. However, he does like to follow us around the house and he talks a lot much to everyone’s surprise. Just this last week the cat has started spending a night or two sleeping with one of the kids which is a reward for both parties. Overall, I am very glad we got the cat as is my husband. My kids are really enjoying having a cat and learning about how cats are different from dogs. The youngest two are still learning cat appropriate noises and activity levels but the cat isn’t trapped so it works out ok with parental involvement. To avoid behavior issues like going outside the litter box, we keep the two boxes clean – twice daily scoopings and once weekly dumping/washings. The kids know not to mess with the cat when he is in one of his boxes doing his business.

So while I have probably overthought this and over executed this, I didn’t want a cat adoption fail for anyone’s sake. We still talk to the kids a lot about cat body language and how cats are different from dogs. Yes, we call the cat like we did our dog and then wonder why we are being ignored. Old habits die hard. Now at least my kids understand how it feels to be ignored so it is a win in its own way. :)

P.S. Chewy was a great place to go cat shopping and save money. We also hit up sites like NextDoor and Craigslist. While the cat needs his own things, getting set up can be done affordably between resale and some DIY.

We became new cat owners about a year and a half ago. We love our little guy. We too adopted an adult cat. The shelter estimates that he is somewhere between 3 and 5 years old - exact age unknown, but certainly an adult (and a plus of that - already neutered) but still very playful.

Cats can only be trained to a certain extent. They are definitely not like dogs (I had dogs growing up, never a cat). We found work-arounds for most of the things you mention above. Here are ours:
- cat doesn't go in the bedrooms. We keep bedroom doors closed at all times. This both limits his ability to wake us up at 5AM (which is when he is most active) and it help with my allergies which are mild but definitely exist. The cat did meow outside the door at first, but now he sleeps happily in his cat tree at night.
- we have an automatic feeder. It gives him a new portion of food at 5AM and 5PM every day. This works great for us both because he doesn't wake us at 5AM for food, and also because if we run late from work, we don't have to worry that the cat is starving. They cost about $30 from a pet store (PetCo, PetSMART, etc).
- we got a Roomba that vacuums every day to keep the fur down in the house. He's a short-haired cat, and still, no matter how much I brush, he sheds a lot and I want to keep fur under control for allergy and cleanliness reasons.
- our guy is very attached to his litter box. The only time he goes anywhere but in his litter box is if his litter box is disgusting. As long as I remember to scoop every day, he never goes anywhere else. There are some stories of unneutered males spraying to mark territory, but our guy is an adult who was neutered young, and he's never done anything remotely like that, even when a neighbor cat wanders through the yard.
- speaking of the litter box, our guy thinks he needs to dig like he's going to China in his litter. I highly recommend one that you can buy a cover for, to keep litter from flying all over the place. And a small rubber mat to put in front of it to catch the litter that will stick to his feet when he steps in and out (again, all items available very inexpensively in any pet store).
- our cat did get sick his first Easter from eating fake grass from the baskets. You will need to give up tinsel on your tree and fake grass in the basket. Small sacrifices to make.
- we spent about an hour with our cat in a pet playroom at the shelter to make sure he would be ok with the kids, etc. I'm not sure about your 'soft adopt' idea - you would have to talk with the shelter about that. And also think of the ramifications at home about bringing home a cat that your kids will fall in love with really quickly, and what they would think if you then took him back.

If you have any other questions, feel free to message me. I am glad that we took the jump and became cat owners.

ETA: Declawing is considered inhumane, and any reputable shelter will make you promise not to declaw before you can adopt. It is also illegal in some states. Like others below, we use a spray bottle with water in it to discourage our cat from scratching anywhere but on his post, and to keep him off of counters and tables.

Well, my advice is go play with the cats a bunch in the cat room of your local shelter. When we adopted our last cat we hung out in there over 2 hours! We went there a total of 3 times. We got a feel for all of the different personalities and picked a female kitten that was very outgoing and playful and not shy at all. She would run out of her cage to play with us. Many of the cats/kittens hid in the back of their cages. We didn't even consider those. When we brought her home we put her in our daughter's room first -- with her food and water and kitty litter box. After a few days when she seemed comfortable we then let her start exploring the house and meet the dog (our dog is very sweet). It went well. I've never had a cat pee or poo on things (except in one large plant - see below)...but we clean the litter box every single day! Kittens do have crazy amounts of energy and will be really playful at night...but in our experience they outgrow it as they get older and more mellow. The kids tried to get out her energy EVERY night with lots of playtime when she was young and hyper which helped a lot. Boy, she was a SPAZ! But so cute! I do still keep my bedroom door shut at night though bc I hate being woken up. Our kitten is now 10 months old and is getting much more mellow, loves to snuggle or just lie next to you, and is a very sweet cat! The kids both ADORE her. She's very loved. If you are allergic perhaps get a short hair cat or google if some cat breeds are better than others. I have no idea. You should make your bedroom off limits to the cat if you have allergies...so you can get a break when you sleep. We keep our house pretty clean and when friends with allergies come over they say that for some reason our cat/house doesn't bother them. For training: I found that our kitten was really curious about everything! If I said no to her she would go and do that thing over and over just because I said no! She was heck on my succulents! I got these two fake succulents and put them in a pot and hid the rest. She would get them out, carry them around, and bat them around. I said nothing. She grew bored of it. Now she leaves all the plants alone. Training two: She wanted to use this one large plant pot as a kitty litter box. A friend said to put flat rocks or pinecones over the dirt. I put pinecones in and she never did it again. Training three - she wants to scratch on our ottoman instead of her kitty scratching post. I put her post right there and she will use it about 1/2 the time. I put catnip on it which she really liked. I try to squirt her with water when she scratches the ottoman. This is still a work in progress. My advice is again to spend a lot of time with a cat before you adopt to get to know their personality. Pick them up. Get out the cat toys. Pet their head and back. See if they seem scared or mad or freak out or hide...don't get those cats!

lifelong cat owner.
In my experience, males tend to be lazier than females but you must get them fixed!!! That usually will eliminate the random pee spraying stuff. Please don't declaw. Just get a few good scratching posts things. I've never had a cat do much furniture damage. You can also use a spray bottle to correct the cat. I clean my counters with a vinegar/water mix and I just use that, well not anymore cause my cats are 9 and 10 lol. They get so conditioned to the spray bottle, and they hate it, that once they're used to it, you can just make that pssst sound and it'll work haha. Tinsel - no one with animals should have that ever. I free fed my cats dry food and then feed them a bit of wet food for breakfast and dinner, just like I do my two dogs, they all eat together lol. Get a short hair with your allergies and shouldn't be any grooming at all. Personally, if my cats never went outside, I wouldn't worry about flea prevention, if no dogs are around either. Yes, cats like to play at night. Yes, cats like dogs can learn their feeding time and be annoying. I don't know anything about allergies. Also, many people would suggest getting two cats that are friends. :) good luck!!!

i got my Princers when he was about 10 weeks old. litter training was not too hard, i had him fixed and declawed (right after he ruined my couch) he was an indoor boy and never missed the litter box. i always put his wet food, fresh water and added to the dry food right before bed. and he never made a peep in the early morning, he also rarely made noise in the night because he would eat then poop and sleep . he was a sweety that took a liking to my mom, he would hop up in her lap but no one elses. he learned very quickly that he would get a wet face if he got on furniture or the counters. and avoided doing so (i used a spray bottle mister to wet his face)
if you have a library card you can check out books on cat care.
does your landlord allow cats?
there are breeds of cats that are considered hypoallergenic, so do a small amount of research on those to see if they are really better for allergy sufferers
Princers also thought that a different brand of cat food was a treat, and he would come when called for treats, he would also sit and meow on command for a treat. he was 100% indoor cat and was never let out.
sadly he passed, in his sleep at the age of 13. but had a great life and loved being brushed and pet on the back of the neck.