Potty Training Help - San Clemente, CA

Hi J.,
I only have a few minutes so here it goes:
Buy a couple potties, put one in the play area and one outside. Roll up any nice rugs (lol) Then have him go naked - all day. Nothing on his butt at all. Show him that if he puts something into the potty he gets a gummy bear ( or one m&m ) then remind him every 20 minutes to try to go potty to get some candy! If he has an accident - stay neutral, DO NOT SHOUT. he is old enough to be able to test you, so you must stay calm and say only: 'oh, that went in the wrong spot. It should be in the potty.' Then have him help with the clean up ( to an extend ) and have him sit on the potty immediately. If anything - even if just a tiny dribble goes into the potty- make a BIG deal, dance sing - whatever you are comfortable with (lol) and give him a tiny piece of sweets.
My oldest was 3.5 before he decided to try it - he was dry night and day within a week.
:)
good luck!
-C.

http://www.3daypottytraining.com/

Get this- it works- I did it with my son when he was 22 months and he didn't have any obvious interest- it worked. I have known mom after mom that has used it with success.

C., mother of 3, sleep consultant, sleep blog writer www.lullabyluna.com

J.,

My son is 3 YO in July and we started a few months ago with baby steps, I guess you could say.

I bought a bunch of potty books...A Potty For Me; Yes, Potty No, Potty; Big Boy's Potty Book; and put them in the bathroom and then I got cheap potty's for every bathroom and adapter seats too. Every time I go to the bathroom, I take him with me...he sits on the potty and reads a book.

Now, we are almost there! At his preschool they do potty check every half hour, and I started doing the same thing. In case I forget, I set an egg timer for me. We go to the potty, we take down our pants and we check. I always ask him to try and if he gets any pee in the potty he gets a sticker or some little trinket from the Dollar Store.

I think the best thing is to find what incentive will work. Create a routine and be creative and fun about it. Make up a potty dance, make a sticker chart and give him a reason to want to be interested. It shouldn't be scary or intimidating, but if there is the feeling that he's under any kind of pressure then he will sense it and run in the other direction.

Just make it fun. My son loves that he goes potty when he does and we do a dance and you can see the sense of joy and pride in the action.

I've read tons of books on-line and even talked to my therapist about it and everyone agress you need to find a groove that works for both of you and stick with it.

the good news is that its summer which I think is the best time to potty train. You can let him go naked or just in "really cool underwear" that he can pick out. everytime my daughter went I gave her a popcicle. I just made it out of propel water so there were no stains from drips and she wasn't getting hyped up on sugar all day long. I also let her pick out a big toy and every time she went she got a sticker. when the chart was full (I think there were like 25 squares) she got her prize. You may want to set a timer for every hour or so and just go put him on the potty so he gets the idea. He will have accidents, try not to get upset. It took my daughter a good 3 days to really get the hang of it so prepare to not leave the house for a few days. On day 8 it was like she magically was fine. no issues. I did not do night training at the same time, but a few months later because I didn't want her to have too much change at once so that is something to keep in mind. Good luck.

Get him out of diapeers. Take him to the store and let him pick out underwear what ever character he likes. Then go for it. Put him in the underwear and he will have a couple accidents but will soon figure it out. I had a potty in the living room or where ever he will be spending most of his time. Then just keep asking him to try and go. We did a big jar of m&m's he gets one for trying 3 for peeing and 5 for pooping on the potty. We have also done stickers or charts 10 times on the potty and you can pick a toy from the dollar store. Make a HUGE deal when he does go. NEVER get angry when he has an accident. Be prepared to do lots of laundry. Also for boys it's usually easier to sit at first but my son loved to stand up and "shoot" I would put a couple cheerio's in potty and he would aim for them. Just keep trying and get him out of diapers or pull ups so he can actually feel when he goes. Good luck it will work!!!

Looking back at how my mom trained all of her grandchildren including my son, I guess you could try her technique. She'd keep an eye on each child and had a knack of being able to read their facial expressions' and or if they were extra quiet and still, she knew what was coming. She'd say to the child to WAIT, or HOLD ON in a really gentle way pick them up, take the diaper off and sit them on the toilet. As they were doing their thing she'd say good girl/boy and really made them feel as if what they were doing was a great thing. After their duty she'd congratulate each child.

My advice is to keep praising your child for any effort made towards becoming potty trained. It worked then and continue's to work today. We all laugh about it now that the kids are all grown. Try it, you never know...
Keep me posted.
G.

Find a toy such as one that has buttons to push and is really exciting. Tell him he can play with it for 5 minutes after he goes potty in the toilet. Then keep a chart and take him every half hour (the first day) giving him the toy only when he goes in the toilet. Then when you know approximately when he usually voids, expand the time between going to the potty...except if he asks to go...then by all means go. Only when he goes in the toilet, give him the toy for exactly 5 minutes, then it goes away until he goes again. The toy usually continues to be novel until they are trained. The toy is his when he starts asking and going on a regular basis.

I was a special education teacher and had a 4 1/2 year old how was not trained and with home and school cooperation, we managed to have the little guy trained in about 2 weeks. His mother had just about decided he was not going to train because his younger brother, just over 3, was already trained. Mom was so delighted! With a normal child the process should go faster:)

BTW, he is not that late. I had three sons and none of them were trained until after 3 years...was sometime in the third year they trained. Since it is summer, do let him go without diapers or the disposable pull ups that absorb and they can't even tell they have gone. Unfortunately, my one son wanted his off in the winter and his pants, shirts, socks and shoes would all get wet!! What a mess...I finally had to post pone him longer until summer when they played in the yard most of the time. Just remember, don't scold or put pressure on him when you take him. Just take him on a regular basis. When it clicks he should be just about completely trained. They all have some accidents after training:)

Just read some of the other responses...the ones with matchbox cars on the back of the toilet might work, but is such a big temptation, while one special toy he really wants (transformer..or is he too little for that?) you can put away so he can't get into it by himself. We used a Pooh Bear that had fruit all over his tummy to push and Pooh would laugh and name the fruit).
Hope that helps you,
H.

Whatever method you try just make sure you stay home. Dont plan on running any errands other than walking around the block. I personally am a fan of putting the undies on at all times other than bedtime. I had a couple days of lots of accidents but by day 4 we were good. And both my kids really did love the "Pee Pee in the Potty" parade after every potty. Good Luck.

Let him go naked (bottom half). Yes, there may be accidents, but he should be old enough to know not to poop on the floor. My sister did this and he was potty trained in a little over a week.
Good luck!

Hi J.
My son is 2 1/2 and he's potty trained during they day just not at night. What I started doing was having him go first thing in the morning then put the diaper back on. Then I'd have him go at night before/after his bath and before he went to bed. That just got him used to using the potty and there was no pressure. We did that for a few weeks. Then I just picked a day and knew that we wouldn't be leaving the house for an entire week. We didn't even go to the store or anything. We sort of went stir crazy but it was worth it. I got some great advice from a friend, once you take the diaper away you can't go back. I was going to put him in a diaper to go to the store but she highly recommended not to do that. Makes sense. So we put the potty wherever we were in the house and I'd ask him quite often if he had to go. We had a few weeks of accidents but he just needed time to get to know the "feeling" of having to go pee. The poop part was a little harder but after a few weeks he got the hang of that too. He started out not going anywhere but at home so we didn't go anywhere until he pooped. Then I said well I can't do that forever so we just started going out and hoped for the best.....just be prepared for accidents but he will get it. I agree with a lot of the other posts, don't pressure him. If he truly isn't ready and none of this works then it's just not the right time.

Oh, we used a chart on the wall and put a star every time we went potty. He loved putting stickers on. He also liked putting a sticker on his hand each time. Yes, we went through a lot of stickers. But whatever works!

Good luck

I'm not sure if his age is a factor or not (I hear rumors that the 3's are more terrible than the 2's), but what is he really into? Think of something and then use that. Since he's 3 1/2, you could use a sticker chart. You make a chart and each time he goes he gets a sticker to put on the chart. When he gets so many stickers, he gets a prize (something affordable he's really into). Put a picture of the prize at the top of the chart so he knows. I never used a chart because my son was happy enough just getting the stickers (I let him stick them on his dresser so it's COVERED now. He loves it), but an older kid might need a little more incentive. Hehe! Pooping took a little longer than pee, but I let my son look at my hubby's guitar magazines only when he sits to go poo and that REALLY works 'cause he's into guitars like his Dada. Also, it really helped to let him run around naked (or bottom half at least) as much as possible at first. We had less accidents that way. The underwear confused him at first and he would just go in them and get upset. Good luck!

J.,

your the mom what you say goes. He doesn't get a choice this time. The end.

Start with morning pee only put the potty chair in front of the tv then sit him down and tell him no breakfast till you go you can't get up till you go and stay their and watch him. Once he has forgotten about sitting their he will release and go. You can't hold morning pee forever. Day 2 he is faster. Day 3 faster, talk to him about how his tummy fills full before and how it feels after, he needs to understand the full bladder filling so he knows when he needs to go. After about 5 or 6 days of morning pee only he has now go the understanding of full and empty and how to go fast and be quick. Put on the big boy undies after the morning pee tell him that he needs to pay attentiont his tummy it will tell him when he has to go. Leave the potty in the room he plays in so it is convenent. Until you feel he can make it to the bathroom to do this job. Also let him know that if he has an accident then he will be cleaning it up himself. Because you don't clean up dirty undies. If he has an accident then you watch him clean it up. Even pooh. He needs to stand at the potty and wash the pooh out while you watch to make sure he does it. If he refuses then you put the undies in his hand, hold his hand and show him how. It only takes 2 or 3 times then they stop doing that. If he gags let him because he will learn faster that this is gross & I don't want to do that again.

Be the boss don't give in for any reason. He will realize he doesn't get a choice and do it. Good luck. J.

J.,

I had a heck of a time training my now 5.5 year old. He's got autism (very high functioning) a we tried pretty much everything. Finally someone recommended to me that we let him run around when we were home with no pants or underwear on. Once he could SEE himself peeing, suddenly he "got" it. I recently did the same thing with my 2.5 year old son. He's gone from 0 to 90% potty trained in about 2 weeks (I work full time so we've just been training on the weekend but my babysitter does put him on the toilet during the week but doesn't let him run around naked). It sounds kind of weird but it works really well. Good luck,
T.

The DVD 'Potty Power' worked great to help get my daughter into the idea.

My son was the same way. He turned three in April and had no inclination to go potty. He knew how and why, but chose not to. I had realized that it was his only source of total control, so I stopped pestering. When we were running low on diapers and pull-ups, I let my son know that he may have to wear underwear if we run out. Well we did run out and I did NOT buy more. I had several packages of underwear ready. So I put him in the undies and when he peed, I changed him and calmly said maybe we can try going on the potty next time so you won't get wet. No big deal. My son hated having his pants and shirt wet, so it only took 2 days and he decided to start using the potty.
Two other things helped. Ever time I went to the bathroom I would announce that "I feel the pee-pee in my body! I need to go to the potty!" That gave my son the idea of what to do. The last thing that helped was to be able to go pee in the bushes, grass, whatever, outside with his dad. It was this fun forbidden activity that helped encourage him to pee somewhere other than his diaper. I hope it helps you.

can u take him into the preschool and let him see the other children use the toilet? i bought my son a little toilet..let him run around naked..and let him see me and also his father use the toilet and talked to him about it when i'd use it.
then when we were at the preschool he heard the principle and i talking about how he's almost potty trained but he just doesn't tell me when he has to go..after hearing us discuss this..he immediately started telling me when he had to go.

Hi J.:
My advice is to find him a New Preschool. This is one thing you have no control over(His bodily functions) The more you pressure him,the more he will fight it.If you want to help him,along,your going to have to take A (Hurry up,but take your time approach)In other words,use the free time you have at home now,but don't come across like its dire he learn (right now) I don't know anyone,that can have a bowel movement (ON Demand) If someone forced you to sit on a pot and said(GO NOW! you couldn't either. Just for the record,I'm sure we'd agree that suggesting a toddler clean up his own feces is ludicrous,sadistic,and extremely unhealthy.You and I know,Punishment or belittling a child's failures,is unacceptable and of no benefit.It sets children back. The key to your success,is good DRAMA SKILLS.You have to make your son BELIEVE he has all the time in the world.(No Pressure)Take off anything that resembles a diaper,put him in underwear,and pay close attention to times he normally has a movement.In the am,or after breakfast,after a bath when hes had time to relax.Get rid of any baby potty seat that sits on the floor.and get a donut type for the big potty.give him A book to read,while he sits. This helps him relax,Don't make the mistake of forcing your child to sit for long lengths of time,or he will fight you next time you want him to sit.This is why so many mothers complain that their kid has a bowel movement shortly after they had them on the pot for an HOUR! ...Maybe had they taken their child off after a few minutes,and returned. You think? As rough as this is,You have to spend (Precious time) Laziness,and impatience,are a recipe for failure. Your a teacher,you know. You aren't going to accomplish A thing attempting shortcuts,and being in a hurried rush. I wish you and your growing son the very best. J. M

Hi J.,
When my son was 3 and starting preschool, we told him he had no choice anymore. No more diapers and you have to use the potty. We went away for a weekend and took away the diapers. He peed in his pants a couple of times the first day then used the potty. The 2nd day we got him to poop on the potty. He said, "That wasn't scary!" and has been fine since (with some minor set backs that were corrected with a behavior chart). We used underwear during the day and pull ups at night until he learned to wake himself up to go at night.

Hope this helps.

here is what I did....Naked, naked, naked...get a timer or something called the "potty watch" which you can set for 30, 60, 90min. then NO MATTER WHAT" go to the potty as timed. I used candy "short term" as a reward (they do this at potty training boot camps)works like a charm, the nudity helps them be more body aware. Stop using training pants. Just do a little more laundry if they wet their pants, just say "uh oh" never get mad it's important. Just repetition. They have washable training pants called "Kushies" they are cheapest at wall mart online in packs of 2. If you have to go out use those and bring a change. Use the training pants only at night as that another issue altogether. good luck..BTW my little boy learned all this at the birth of our little baby. My hubby was home for 6 weeks for paternity leave and we never looked bacl. He was done with the diaper by 2 1/2

I'm still potty training my 3 1/2 year old son so i feel your pain lol. He was the same way but I have him half ways there now. The best advice i can give is make up a song about going to the potty. That's what i did and every time i would put my son on the potty he would tell me mom the song. have him sit down first because he wont get the hang of it standing up. Good Luck!!!!!!!

My son is just 4 and has only been potty trained for about 6 months, so we just went through all this. First off, do get him underwear he can pick out and thinks are cool. We did that and were able to say, " now you don't want to get Buzz Lightyear all wet, do you?"
Then we bribed him. Call it whatever you want, but it worked. We bought Hot Wheels in the packages and lined them up on the back of the potty. He couldn't play or touch them until he went in the potty. When he did, he could pick one out, open it, play, etc. We made a big deal out of it. He got it in about 10 days. We still had the occasional accident (still do). The only side effect is that we have about 200 Hot Wheels. But for a little boy, that's not too awful!
That's what worked for us! Good Luck!
S.