Potty-Training My 22 Month Old Girl

Updated on April 16, 2008
K.E. asks from Harrisburg, PA
19 answers

Hello,

My daughter has been sitting on the potty with success on and off since she was 14 months. We have purchased books for her and bought every "training pant" imaginable.
She is just really inconsistant.
She does not seem to care if she is wet even in a cotton diaper or training pant. She'll sleep all night with a wet bottom and bed without even waking up.

Is it to early? Or is she just not ready?
I don't want to push it and have it become a negative thing... but I'm due in August with #2 and a diaper break would be so nice...

Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all the wonderful advice! IN NO WAY DO I WANT TO RUSH/PRESSURE HER! My daughter is a little bit of an exception as she began talking at 4 months and was up to sentences by 15 months. She goes in phases in and out with it and I just wasn't sure when and how to push. She is really getting fussy about wearing diapers, she does like her verious "panties" and she does show interest. She has had a lot of problems w/ teething and diaper rash which makes the diaper/changin issue worse for her. The poor thing seems to always get multiple teeth at one time.

Perhaps I'll try the bottomless method and the stickers are a great idea too! We'll see how that goes for her. If she's not ready we'll just wait no biggie.

She is my first so I am still learning! Thanks for all the great advice!

God bless and thanks again!

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

She is not ready. Please don't push her on this; it can have far reaching consequences and create problems that would be so much worse than having to simply change another diaper. (Holding, constipation, severe pain, stool softeners, mineral oil! just to name a few) Just leave the potty in the room where she is playing; when she seems like she is wetting, casually ask if she wants to sit on the potty. Don't make a big deal out of it; if she does, and she pees in the potty--applaud and compliment her. Sometimes if you let a child play bare bottomed, it helps her to realize she is wetting and she'll move to the potty--just be prepared to clean up accidents! Some moms will spread a splat mat to play on for easier cleanup. Give her a bit more time though--she's not even two yet.

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I just finish training my 21 month old and it took a while. What I have learned is that she gets lazy when she is in the training pants so I started putting her in underpants. That way she really news when she is wet. The only thing is you have to stay after them. I would take my daughter to the potty everytime I could and if she wanted something I would bribe she and tell her she had to go before she got what she wanted. Yes there will be accidents but if we give them the diaper or training pants back they think its Ok. The last two nights she has been sleeping with training pant and has had no accidents I just take her before bed and if she wakes up in the middle of the night to crawl in my bed I take her again. Then first thing in the morning. It is a slow process but she will get there.
Good luck with baby #2.

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A.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Contrary to popular opinions, potty training should NOT take very long. When it takes longer than 2 weeks, then the child is not ready. Potty training that takes extensive amounts of time isn't good for anyone involved! When you push the issue due to YOUR schedule or agenda, you end up setting the child up for failure because their little brains and their little bladders just aren't ready. I had 2 in diapers for about a year and you survive, believe me! Once you commit to training...put her in undies ONLY (no pull ups) and DON'T look back!!

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S.C.

answers from York on

Unless your daughter is Extremely Exceptional, it's a little early for potty-training. I believe someone else said that when they're ready it typcially only takes a few weeks, and that's about right. Every child is different, but the norm seems to be somewhere between 2 & 3 years. My son, who has a learning disability, was nearly four before he was fully potty-trained, and even now he occasionally has an accident during the night. (BTW, what usually happens is that he's Exhaused and sleeps really well, only to wake up & discover that he's wet) I try not to fuss over the occasional accident as it IS an accident! When he wakes up & realizes he's wet, he's usually VERY upset & distraught. We simply strip him down & let him get a shower again. (normally showers before bed). With summer coming, it's a great time to do sundresses with whatever type of underwear or training pant underneath. Fewer layers makes it easier to make it to the potty once they're actually at that stage. Good luck & God Bless!

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L.H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

A wise older woman with six kids told me once that when they are ready to potty train, they will do it. When they're not, it's a waste of time.

Sometimes it seems to be that potty training is a competition among moms to see whose kids get potty trained youngest. It really shouldn't be that way. Another wise older mom told me that often when a child is appearing to be potty trained at a young age, it is really the parents that are trained, they know when their kids need to go and respond quickly.

Sometimes the parent is in denial, like the mom who told me in the church nursery that her son was potty trained. She never sent a change of underclothes and pants for him, but he needed them regularly. He wasn't completely potty trained, and I didn't know his signals. You can't take a kid to the potty every five minutes when you have a room full of other kids to take care of, even with helpers. He needed his own personal helper to make sure he didn't have an accident.

My youngest child potty trained the quickest. All her sisters were in school, and she wanted to go to school also. I told her she could not go to preschool in diapers. She was potty trained way before preschool started. Was she just ready earlier than her sisters, or did she super motivate herself to do it?

The moms here have given good advice. If you have tried all the tips and it's not working, then I'd back off and try again later. I know that it's tough to have two in diapers, well I've been there, and I can relate. But trying when the child isn't ready is not going to work.

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C.S.

answers from Sharon on

Perk up K.! I have a now 6 year old daughter who I swore would be wearing a diaper at her high school graduation. She, too, was sitting on the potty at about 21-22 months but it was like a phase. She would love to sit and read on the potty and would be excited when she was successful, but it wasn't consistant. I asked my pediatrician what to do after so long of trying unsuccessfully to train her. She suggested a potty "party", which if you have the time is not a bad idea. It will help your daughter recognize when she has to go and hopefully get her to the potty more consistantly. Here is how it works:

Pick a room that has no carpeting...because you may have to clean up a few messes. Put the potty chair in that room and make yourself comfy with books, games, etc. because you will be there awhile. Let her drink as much as she can consume. You want her to have to go often. Don't put a diaper or training pants on her. You want her to know she's going. The first time she doesn't make it to the potty chair, don't scold her, but be supportive and suggest she sit on the potty. You may notice as the day wears on that she will get to the potty a little quicker each time...she may still have accidents, but not as much. Make her feel like it's the coolest thing in the world when she makes it without an accident...do a little dance, sing a song, give hugs...they will love the attention.

Don't be discouraged. She may not respond right away. When all else fails, she may just need time. I know it's inconvenient for you because of #2 coming (I too had to double up on diapers for a short time because I had a 2nd child when my daughter was 33 months), but sometimes they are not ready (or willing) to give up those diapers until they want to. My daughter finally decided to give them up (thank God!), but not until she was 3 years, 5 months old. Best of luck. I hope this helps!

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A.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I understand your situation completely. My daughter was 27 months old when I had my second one and didn't become potty trained until a week before she turned three. She was as inconsistent as your little girl is being. She's definitely capable, but I don't think she's really ready. I'd put my daughter in panties and if she had an accident, she didn't really care. She wasn't phased by being wet. You just may have to wait a little longer.

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S.L.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hello, I also have a 22 month old girl whom I am trying to potty train. I have number 5 due in July! It is definitely a struggle as she seems interested at times, but doesn't really have success. I've learned through my others, that if they know what they are doing and can follow commands, I think they are ready. The reason I am not having the success with her right now is that I'm not devoting enough time with her and being consistant enough. She definitely understands the concept of going potty, but unless I am more consistant and try to just matter of factly take her every hour or half hour, then I'm the one who is not successful. I've also found that sticker charts work great! Whenever they are successful, make a real big deal of it and let them put on a sticker. Patience is key, hang in there! I'm a 30 year old SAHM (getting certified to do daycare as well) with 4 girls and we are having our first boy in July, yay!! Good luck to you!

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M.J.

answers from Scranton on

K.,

I have a 25 month old little girl. She likes to go on the potty from time to time. With my experience with my other daugther who now is 6, that it can take to 3 years of age to get them fully potty trained. I was lucky with my oldest she was fully trained by 2 1/2 yrs. Still need the diapers for bedtime (till 3-4 yrsold). All you can do is keep trying to put her on the potty and see what happens. If she doesn't want to don't push it. I let my little one run around with out a diaper and sometime she makes it to the potty and other times she doesn't. Keep asking her if she has to go pee and put her on the potty. When we go out of the house I put her in pullup and she loves to go to the restroom everywhere we go! They like to watch you go too. Everytime she goes on the potty I clap my hand and say yeah!! She loves it. That way your not rewarding her with candy and she loves to hear you happy. Hope this helps.

M.

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi K., I have three girls and I hate to depress you, but none of them potty trained before they were three. This is what I was told (oh so many years ago) First she should be waking up dry and ready to go to the potty. She should be showing intrest in going to the potty (talking about it, watching you, etc). Then you start with a small potty or in our case we bought the little seats to go on the toilet. Once each of my girls decided to use the potty it was pretty much a done deal...the only accidents we had were the ones that were a result of "oops, didn't give myself enough time to run all the way upstairs to the bathroom..." We only had one bathroom on the second floor...they learned quickly that you have to time that "mad dash" just right. But they never wet a bed or had a accident when we were out. I will confess that we did use pull-ups at night (just in case) until they asked if they could wear their panties to bed. But once they asked it was no problem. I know what you mean about wanting a diaper break...between my three girls I carried a diaper bag for 8 long years! LOL I did the dance of joy when I threw out that last one!! Good luck and congrats on the up comming baby!!

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S.C.

answers from Allentown on

It may be too early, but she may be ready. I tried to get my daughter potty trained before a trip to disney world (planned right after her 2nd birthday). She had started to use the potty some and I was afraid I would "miss the window" and have to start all over if she wasn't potty trained before we left.

So, I decided to make an effort an try. We have hard wood floors in the kitchen so I would have her potty on the kitchen floor and let her walk around with just a shirt (or dress) without underwear or a diaper. When she had to go, there was her potty. Well, after cleaning up the misses too many times. I gave up.

BUT 2 weeks later, I tried again. This time she was ready. We used the doctor Phil method which I researched online. Got a doll that "wets" and taught the doll how to use the potty along with my daughter. We "celebrated" when she was successful. I committed myself to be at home (instead of running errands) for a week so we could focus on the potty training. My daughter loves dolls & also attention so this method worked for her. She was quickly potty trained right before her 2nd birthday. She only had one accident on our vacation too!

On a different note, she was not night trained until about 2 1/2 years. I tried several times before than but she just was not ready.

Good luck!

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C.W.

answers from Reading on

She may be a bit young, but I can see wanting her to be done by the time the new baby comes. CONSISTENCY is important here. We decided to just keep our son in diapers all the time. We also used a lot of positive reinforcement to keep him wanting to go. Our reward was jellybeans. Every time he successfully peed on the potty (even though we were initiating the trip to the potty), he got a bean. Pooping is an ongoing issue, but we have a reward for that, too, matchbox cars. It is taking a bit longer than pee, but its getting better. Now we aren't giving a bean for every trip to the potty. We changed the reinforcement schedule to getting one every time he ASKS to go instead. It works for us.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi K.,
Have you tried letting her pick out underwear she really likes? Is t possible that her successes on the potty were kind of coincidences and she's just not interested? Hmmm...maybe take a break for awhile. The summer may be an easier time. I've heard advice on carrying the potty around with you--outside, garage, etc everywhere you go and keep easy-to-get-off shorts, etc on her so she can get on FAST! Good luck to you and congratulations on you upcoming arrival!

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D.M.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hello, My name is Debbie and I am mother of 2 boys. Ages 6 and 4. My 6 year old was hard to potty train. Like yourself, I bought quite alot of potty training things to help us out. I had a video that I found online, we even purchased Potty Elmo, which i think helped us out. My 4 year old was not hard at all. It was much easier to get him interested. He still likes to sleep in pull ups for that just in case i dont make it, but he always wakes up dry each and every day. It may take some time, i would just try to keep working with her, but dont push the issue.

I also read that you work part time from your home, may i ask what kind of part time work you do? I would love to be able to make some extra cash working at home? Thanks.

Debbie from...Carlisle PA.

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M.M.

answers from Harrisburg on

I had to let my girls run around in a dress with no panties cause if I put something on they assumed it was to pee in. I put them on the pot a half hour after drinking and sometimes I used a squirt bottle with water and squirted her spine.

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K.H.

answers from Allentown on

Ok she's not even two yet... her signals are telling you she's not ready...
dont give up hope... every kid is different but dont push it.
the video tape I got for my son... the psychologist that put it together says that you shouldnt even think of pushing potty issues until after they are 2...between 2 and 4 years of age is quite healthy and normal range to potty train... and occasionally longer... (like with my son... there were emotional trials in our lives... an auto accident that changed our way of life... and it upset him about the potty)
so dont listen to anyone who is telling you it SHOULD be done but such and such an age... let her tell YOU when she is ready... by the body language and verbal skills...
talk to her about it leave it there for her to "play" with or Practice... but dont add pressure...
and when she is ready... eliminate 'training pants' they dont work...
regular underpants and plastic protectors are all you need.
Good Luck

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C.H.

answers from Allentown on

would give it a break for a month or 2 and try again but might have to wait till after baby is born. Some kids do tend to regress with new baby around so if it gets close to due date, skip it.

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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

22 months is early to expect a child to potty train. Some have done it, but generally speaking, it's too early. I know you're wanting to have her out of diapers because of a new baby coming, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do, and have two kids in diapers as many have done before. It's goo that she has pottied before but it's expected that she'd be inconsistent, especially for so long. She's obviously not ready yet. Let her potty at every diaper change. If she goes, great. If she doesn't, that's ok. But do not push her. Night time training comes after day training. Some can train rather fast at night, but most others will take much longer, months. Don't expect too much out of her. She's still a baby. I mean, you're still counting her age in months and not years, so that tells you how young she is.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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K.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Take it from past experiences, 14 months is too early, down the road when she is good and potty trained you will go through a stage where she acts like she is not and consistently wets. I know we are all in a hurry to get our kids potty trained but it is not a good idea to start so early.

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