Post- Breast Feeding

Updated on December 21, 2006
J.G. asks from Alexandria, VA
6 answers

I breast fed my daughter until she was 18 months old ( I was the one who wanted to stop). Now she still needs my breast to fall asleep and she will not fall asleep until she gets it. She sticks her hand down my shirt and just holds my nipple!!! It is very strange (I think its kinda weird)I have tried dollies, stuffed animals, and blankets to fill the void but nothing works. Its is very akward in public and needless to say my family thinks its ridiculous. I don't know what to do????

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M.N.

answers from York on

I exclusively breast fed my son for what seemed like forever (especially after having my first who weaned herself at 9 months). I had no intentions of nursing him past 15 months but it went on, and on, until he was about 2, when we were finally able to stop. He still, at age 5, has an attachment to my breasts and if he is really tired, scared or hurt - goes right for them. It used to drive me completely insane because it was all the time. We stopped nursing but he replaced that time with touching and snuggling with my breasts. Gradually, he stopped except for in extreme situations. One thing that helped was gently but constantly removing his hands from going down or up my shirt and holding his hands, lovingly but tightly.

Take care and good luck!

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T.R.

answers from Dover on

I think that is very sweet and I miss those days! But I do remember they can yank on your nipple and it gets really annoying. I would lay her head on your breast so she gets that comfort and hold her hand close to your breast so she cant yank on your nipple. She should begin to understand simple things now like telling her not to go down your shirt in public, it is a good chance to teach her about private parts.

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J.B.

answers from Scranton on

It's normal and natural for children to find breasts a source of comfort throughout the years that they're biologically wired to nurse, even if they are weaned early. Western society finds it weird, but there's nothing unhealthy or inappropriate about it.

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K.D.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, I am a fellow breast feeding Mom. I have nursed all my six children. I, too would have difficulties with having my kids needing me to fall asleep. For them it's a comfort thing. Almost like you're the pacifier. I know it's strange for you when she does it. But it's her sense of security. Night feedings are usually the last to go and a little more difficult to wean from, I have found in my experience anyway. But all babies are different...for some it's easier than others. Is she just holding your breast in her hand or is she actually trying to nurse and hold it in her mouth? My suggestion would be if she's holding it with her hand...try holding her hand close to you but not on the breast, close to your heart. By you holding her hand you can control where she puts her hand. If she tries to go back to the breast, you are able to gently redirect it back to the other spot. Patience is the key. She's not gonna be happy with you at first. But be firm. When she sees she won't be allow to do what she wants...she'll stop.
As for family reactions...that's not always fun to have to deal with...especially when no one in the family has nursed successfully, like in mine. I would find that women in my family who had NO nursing experience would all of the sudden give me expert advice. Family members just don't know what it's like or they have their own opinions as to what the "norm" is. What your daughter is doing...albeit embarassing for you...is normal. She doesn't know any different unless you instruct her otherwise. So my advice...don't let your family's opinions bother you too much. If they insist on telling you how ridiculous it is...tell them you appreciate their concern and you're working on the problem then change the subject. Hope that helps!

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P.V.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi J.,

I breast fed all three of my kids until they were 18 months as well, one of the reasons I wanted to stop, is because with my first two, I was already pregnant and didn't want to be "touched" anymore. My youngest, who will be three in February, would put her finger in my belly button while she nursed. To this day, even though she's not nursing anymore, she's still doing it. When she is tired, or going to sleep, it doesn't matter where we are, she wants to find my boo button, as she calls it. I figure it will eventually pass, although sometimes I feel like it's going to last forever.

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, if you feel uncomfortable because you are out and about, explain to your daughter, that she's going to have to wait a little bit and not now. She will eventually understand!!

At least I don't have to worry about pacifiers and such!!!

Good luck to you!!

P.

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C.J.

answers from Harrisburg on

Not at any point do I think it is ridiculous.I think it is great that you breastfed her for 18 months.You shouldnt have to explain your reasons to anyone.I understand it is awkward in public, and just explain to your daughter that this isnt the place.Tell her not now, and she has to wait.She will eventually wait, and then not want it.Good luck.

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