"Older" Mom Looking for Words of Advice...Having a Baby at 40? - Phoenix,AZ

Hi S.,

I have not yet had a baby at 40 - but my midwife had her last baby at 42. She had no problems and her baby is a healthy 9 year old now. My midwife is very active and looks amazing.
You can do it!

Hi S.,
I am 38 and just had my 3rd baby and my second was born when I was 37- both home births, thankfully! So now I have two babies under two plus a 6 year old. I am not going to say it is easy especially as I do a ton of volunteer work for my son's charter school but it is sooooo much easier than I thought it would be for sure!

I don't know what your first birthing situation was like, but, don't let your doctors scare you with the whole 'you are so old so we'll have to do millions of tests' thing and go with your gut over ANY advice. I know this might sound 'new agey' or what ever, but if you live each moment in love not in fear and you will be just fine through out your pregnancy & the birth! I went with home-birth for my second & third births because my first was a hospital birth and the doctors were so filled with fear I couldn't believe it! Their fear caused complications and that is why I wrote live in love not in fear. Always ask the doctors what options you have and what are the pros and cons for EVERY option- they didn't tell me I had ANY options - they just told me what was going to happen... Good luck and enjoy your new bundle of joy!

Just wanted to say congratulations on the advent of a new little one! I believe that having a baby at 40 is fairly common now, and I'm sure your precious little one will receive the benefit of your added wisdom from not being an out-of-high-school mom. Blessings!

Hi S.,
I'm about to turn 40 (next month) and am having twins, so I can relate to your worry! However, I feel more in control and know what to expect now than I did with my son (who is 10). I also take better care of myself now than I did in my 30's and pay attention to what I eat and try to exercise more. You can do it! I was suprised and how many older moms there are now. My advice is to forget your age (it's just a number) and enjoy the moments. Best of luck to you!

I think the problem with having the energy and stamina effects all ages. I'm currently pg with my fourth child at 35 and am zapped at times. This one isn't as bad because I determined I was going to be more healthy with this one. I eat more fresh fruits and veggies and I try to walk a lot more, get more exercise. Sometimes I don't make it, sometimes I do.

My boys help me a lot doing little things for me when I am especially tired and I try to do things with them when I am more energetic.

I know I not an "older" mom, but I do have to say my mother was. She was 37 when she had me, and 45 when she had my baby brother. Having Babies in your 40's is not all that uncommon even in ancient times. We just know more of the risks.

Take care of yourself, try not to stress your mind or body. Eat healthy and exercise when you can.

Hi S. - I had my first (and last) baby at 42. He is now almost 3 years old. One thing to be prepared for is that many in the medical community will give you the "worse case scenario". I think they have to, to protect themselves. While it's true that the percentage rate for birth defects and complications at birth are increased, do your best to not to spend your pregnancy worrying about it! For me, everything turned out fine - pregnancy was great and birth was awesome! I love being a mom at this age. I saved the "best for a little later in life".

Hi S.,

I got pregnant when I was 40 and delivered when I was 41 - I loved being pregnant and my now 5 yr old daughter keeps me young. I climb the playlands at McDonalds, run in the park, ride bikes with her - you name it, we do it - TOGETHER. I can't imagine my life without her. I think my age helped me in many ways - I am focused and committed to her, already established in my career. Also, she has been a blessing to our family, my mom, her "mimi" is 83 and they get on floor and play together, they swing together, my daughter keeps my mom young as well.
My doctor told me that 40 is the new 30. With technology and testing and the knowledge that is known, you will do just fine. God never gives you anything you can't handle - guess he believes you need another little angel in your life.

Congrats.

L.

Hi, I am a new mother at 42 my little girl is now 7 months. Total shock to both hubby & me as they had told us years ago we would not be able to have a child. Age is no longer an issue, more & more women are having their children later in life 35 & up. I personally am trying to get more into shape and my girl is helping me right along with that LOL. I should be looking into getting roller skates. I had gestational diabities and other than that it was a very normal pregnancy, we are now talking about having another miracle so I can say that it was a very good experience for us. Also my hubby helps out a lot with all the household chores and of course he loves taking care of his daughter. Getting help like that is great & takes pressure off of you so much.

You can enlist the help of your almost 4 year old--they can be very helpful. If you are familiar with Love and Logic, that can be very helpful--kids can take care of a lot of things for themselves. I can email you a list of appropriate things for 3 years old to take care of--you help the first few years, then they take over and since it's been fun with you, they have those memories and it's fun by themselves. Get his help with "trash can boogie" --he can carry the bag and be the trash truck and you can empty the cans--eventually the two of them will do it together. He can help with "laundry boogie"--by bringing all his dirty clothes and putting them in a pile in front of the washer. A little creativity (which as a school teacher I know you have a lot) goes a long way in making it fun so that helping out is something they want to do. Contact me if you are interested in Love and Logic for you or your school--I put on trainings for teachers/schools and for parents.
Happy Thanksgiving and Congratulations!
E.

Congratulations S.! I delivered my first child when i was 29 years (normal delivery) and the second a planned decision at age 39 years. What i did do well before going in for the second pregnancy was to prepare myself in terms of being medically aware of possible age related issues due to advanced age pregnancy and ensured that throughout my pregnancy i took good nutrition, was happy and kept a positive frame of mind. What my hubby and myself did was also to go together for the monthly check ups with the doc so that together we kept our ears and signs open to rule out any medical issues. Since we had updated ourselves on these aspects it was simpler to understand and comprehend the various test results. Of course your doc will ask you to take various tests which is quite a norm. Let me also tell you that I worked till almost full term. Now my child is 14 months and was born at full term without any complications though I opted for a c-section owing to age risk and as my doc put in my baby coorperated/supported my decision :-) by being in breech position so she was born planned 2 weeks before her actual due date.
With regards to energy n stamina i guess God automatically equips us with all that and more...so don't worry. Enjoy n All the best.

Congrats S.! I had my son when I was 40 and it is the best thing I have ever done. Take care of yourself and stay in good shape and you should be fine for the long haul!

I am a 44(soon to be 45 yr old) first time mom to our 2 year old daughter. Yes, she is very active but we wouldn't have it any other way. She is a blessing!

I recently returned to work after being a SAHM and lucky to have a great hubby who helps greatly.

Congrats on your new addition!

I had my 4th baby when I was 40-a 14 year gap between kids. I was completely stressed about it because my previous 3 were high risk. That pregnancy had NO issues. It was as perfect as could be. I was working on my bachelor's degree and finished a month before my daughter was born. I will tell you, my body did feel more worn out and being pregnant did affect me more when I was older than younger. The amazing thing is that somehow we make it through it.

When I had another one 17 months later, when I was 43, it was more difficult for me and I was sure after that one I NEVER wanted to be pregnant again. Also with my last one the long nights and going to school and having two babies was extremely difficult. I was lucky enough to get a baby who slept all night just before I lost my mind!

I will tell you, I love being a parent more being older than younger. The wisdom and focus you get with life experience makes it easier to be a better parent. The stuff that really doesn't matter falls away and you can just enjoy the wonder of your kids to a greater degree. Another benefit is that we won't have to experience the empty nest syndrome until we are too old to care!