Number 1 and Number 2 in Pants Again

My son peed his pants two times the other night. Very strange for him. I'm kinda strict about the whole thing. The first time, I couldn't tell exactly HOW his pants got wet so I just said "You know how to use the potty and if this is pee and you do it again you will be in big trouble" and he just said "O, I know Mommy it's ok. Just say it, just say it happens" The second time, in the same night, I was done. I made him take off his own wet clothes, gave him a shower just long enough to soap up, wash his hair and out, and then he sat in time out. He was still crying when time out was over (which he started as soon as he had peed cause he knew he was in trouble), so he went to his room and calmed himself down. We haven't had any trouble since then, so all is good I guess...at least for now.
I honestly think by this time, if they were completely potty trained already, then they shouldn't have trouble making it to the bathroom. Once you find out if everything is ok with him health wise, then I would start with punishment when wet/rewards for staying dry.

I feel bad for you because i know how mad this can make u. All the cleaning up and smell not to mention being scard to go out due to accidents. Hes almost 5. The dr. gonna tell u it normal at his age and he'll grow out of it. Actully it is normal and a "im lazy normal" Hes geting so cot up in his playing and not taking the time to potty. 3 months so far means he knows how far u'll push. Sweetie push much harder. Im the most luving parent but at the same time rules are set in stone. I took all my daughter toys and things away one at a time. I got on her every two hrs to "u hv to try even if u say u dont hv to go" also half and hr after drinking/eating. Just like u did when u had to work with ur little man back when he began potty train. Oh she got the point quickly. At the same time i praised her everytime she went in herself and went. It took me no more than a week to break this spell she was facing. Now i can go anywhere agian with no worries. And our house dosnt smell like a bathroom:D . I hope i dont seem to mean. So many parents today have the most unruly, loud, demanding children. Not that a potty phase u that. Im just saying u have to break down on them while there in there molding stage. This is just lazy and also another way for a child to feel some sort of control as well. Normal yes. Not ur fault. Just up to u to to deal with it or break it. Good luck dear and best wishes:)

My son had been totally trained day and night for 6 months, then last summer he started having accidents. I think he was just so involved in playing that he didn't realize how badly he needed to go. I started making him go to the bathroom every hour (just like potty training) to ensure no accidents. He got no say in it. After a week of that, he was tired of it, and we haven't had any accidents and it has been almost a year.

I agree that shaming the child or getting mad (outwardly, you can certainly feel however you feel!) is totally counterproductive. But at the same time you don't want to let this get out of hand. Checking with the dr is good, to make sure there's nothing physical going on. In the meantime, remind him to go potty every so often (2 hours?) and if he doesn't want to stop what he's doing and says he doesn't have to go, say you have to just try.
Looking back to when it started, can you remember any changes or emotional upheaval? Just to get you thinking, not saying it couldn't just be a normal regression : )
Blessings,
Lynn

Hi, K.-

If he really is wonderfully happy, my guess is that he's not sure why he does it. I have a 5 yr old who doesn't like to wipe b/c then he'll have to wash his hands and that takes more time and he could miss something! (it took me a while to figure that out). It sounds like he was really trying to please you with the incident at your friend's house. Only you would know that, though.
If he's deliberately disobeying you in action & attitude, then there should be rebuke & correction on your part.
But I'd say that punishment will only bring shame on him if he doesn't understand why he's doing it. So, continue to be his helper & protector in the shame he may already feel. Show him how to clean up his mess too, that may help him have less accidents, and he'll know that you're for him and you are a safe place. He will always remember you being for him and will trust you other times in life when he feels vulnerable.

I hope your dr.visit went well today.
Will you let me know how this pans out for you?
Blessings,
A. G

My son was about 3.5 when we had that problem. I remember it well, we were on vacation at Disney. My pediatrician told me that it was not uncommon - that boys regress. Just a phase that they go through. They get so into whatever it is they are doing, they forget or don't realize they have to go until it is too late.

While I can certainly sympathize with your frustration at having to clean up accidents, please please refrain from punishing your little boy about pottying - that can really make it worse, not better. He may be dealing with something physical, too, like a food intolerance or allergy, that you've not yet picked up on - so please keep in mind that there's an excellent chance that he's not doing this on purpose. I'm sure he doesn't enjoy pooping on himself, either, and he's probably a bit embarassed by it too! So your best bet is to be supportive & empathetic, matter-of-fact about clean ups, and help give him options to solve the problem... some examples: "Honey, that must be so uncomfortable to have poop in your pants - are you ok? Let's clean that up together. We'll do the laundry together. I've noticed this is your 2nd accident this weekend - would you like my help in reminding you to use the bathroom every so often for a few weeks until you're able to do it by yourself again?"

And try to keep an eye on his diet - is he eating anything new? Anything in much larger quantities than usual? Is his poop different than usual (smellier? gassier? different color?)? Does he have any dry/rough patches on his skin (eczema, big sign of allergy)? If so, keep in mind that he really may not be aware of his elimination (pee/poop) due to his body having a subtle, negative reaction to a new food.

Work together, be loving, problem-solve together, and please refrain from anger, punishment, shaming, etc. He's still quite young (4.5 yrs), so your support will be much more effective than any negativity. Best of luck, and I hope for *both* of you that the accidents stop quickly!

wow ok this needs to be taken care of right away! here is something you can try. he is 4 so im sure he doesnt want to go back to a dipear, so maybe tell him that if he cant make it to the potty then he will go back to wearing dipears. if you dont want to do that maybe you can sit down with him and tell him, you know all the big boys go potty in the potty and not in there pants. when he goes to kindergarden he will be the only one doing that in his pants.im sure he will stop doing it if you talk to him about it! well best of luck!!!!!