Night Time Potty Training HELP!

Updated on July 10, 2008
B.F. asks from Tracy, CA
15 answers

I have a 6 year old daughter who is a very hard sleeper. She does not wake up to go potty at night, I have cut drinks very early and she cries for one, and is still in a pull up at night. I do not see a light at the end of the tunnel for this one and am thinking she is too old and I need to stop this. Any advice would be great!
Thanks.

2 moms found this helpful

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S.M.

answers from Salinas on

hello, I have read if you give them a tablespoon of honey just before bedtime it will help them hold themselves because honey will help control the bladder. Hope it works!

good luck...

1 mom found this helpful

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K.R.

answers from San Francisco on

The only thing that I can promise you will work is to set an alarm for yourself every couple to 3 hours and wake her up and get her in to go potty. I was chronic bed wetter, and even Urologists will say what I am telling you is true. She needs help with her internal clock that helps her to wake up on her own. It takes a strong commitment and consistency on your part but it will help her in the long run. Pull ups are giving her the wrong message, that she still has a diaper on, they feel the same, and so the message to her is just to go potty in the pull up. Save her self image and wake her up and help to get her own body on the right track to awaken when having to go potty. Hope this helps, and let me know if you try and what happens.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Sacramento on

I know it's frustrating, but a child's bladder doesn't always grow at the same rate as the rest of her body. I've known at many children who've had the same problem at night. They really have no control over their bladder while asleep. You can't change their sleeping habits. So, what worked for us was sending our son to the bathroom before bed (of course), then wake him up when we were going to bed (usually at least 2-3 hours later) and take him to the bathroom. It's really OK that she's still in a pull up. I have a neice who is 8 and she still wears one at night. Developmentally, she's fine, just a heavy sleeper who sometimes has night time accidents. Your daughter will grow out of this phase when her body is ready!

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

It may seem that there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but don't despair. Just like potty-training, night time training varies a LOT from child to child. My 3 kids were 5, 6, and 8 when they became dry at night. Our pediatrician told me that a lot of kids mature sometime between the ages of 6 and 8, so she might start being dry on her own (which is what happened to my 2 girls). When my son turned 8 we decided to use the Malem alarm and it was amazing! Within 2 weeks he was completely dry and hasn't had an accident since (2 years). I bought the alarm used on eBay and enjoyed reading about the successes people reported. You can also find them at www.bedwettingstore.com. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My husband was a bed wetter until he was 8, and he says that he remembers being so embarrassed and ashamed by it. His parents took him to the doctor, who said nothing was physically wrong with him and that he'd grow out of it. Eventually, he did. To this day he's a heavy sleeper. Our older daughter inherited the bed wetting trait and only made it out of pull-ups a year ago (she was almost 5). It was kind of weird because she went from having wet pull-ups almost every night to being completely dry every night, within the span of about a week. It was like suddenly her brain seemed to connect what to do, and that was that!

I know it's hard, but if the pediatrician has checked her over and nothing is wrong, she just has to grow out of it. At least that is what we were told, and what worked for both my husband when he was little, and our daughter.

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello. It's perfectly natural for your daughter to need to wear pull ups at night. Everyone's body is different, and the ability to stay dry at night depends ONLY on her body's ability to produce a substance which allows her to be dry at night. For some kids this substance is produced starting at age 2, for some kids it's later, and our doctor said it can be as late as age 7. Two of our 4 kids wet at night right up until age 7. It was annoying to say the least, but it was helpful to know that they had no control over it. I say give your daughter the drink she wants at bedtime, although not so much that she'll leak through the pull up.

Remember, it's a natural process which will happen on it's own schedule and it's not her fault, there's nothing either of you can do but wait.

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J.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I only have a 2 year old daughter but my brother had a big problem with peeing the bed at night when he was younger. I really don't remember how old he was when he grew out of it but he eventually did. I always felt so bad for him because he couldn't help it and he was always feeling so embarrassed about it. I do believe his body just wasn't mature enough and he was a deep sleeper. That was many years ago and they have lots of new things that can help your daughter. The new pull-ups that you can hardly see seem great. I think the worse thing you could do is make her feel bad about it. It's not like she's doing it on purpose or just lazy. Just remember your daughter won't go off to college peeing the bed. (I believe my brother was about 10 when he stopped). Good luck!!

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I read that in order to stop drinks early enough to make a nighttime difference you'd have to stop drinking at like 2 pm! That's not the issue, so don't worry too much about that. The hard-sleeping is the issue. I have heard that there are alarms that you can put in the bed to wake the child when urination starts, over time it trains the kid to wake on her own. I have also heard that it's not that unusual, especially for a 6-year-old, so try not to worry. She'll get it eventually!

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S.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a teen, who still occassionally wets the bed. One of the biggest things I will encourage you to do is not get upset and not blame her. We took the stance with him (he was frustrated by it as well) that everyone has issues. This was his issue and will help him to be more compassionate towards others with issues. Some are overweight, some have anger issues, some have a limb missing, blindness, short tempers, we all have some issue, this is his. That said, we have made him responsible for help cleaning it up. Maybe your daughter can pull her sheet off the bed or just make sure her clothes get in a place by the washer. When our son was 8 we taught him how to wash his sheets. That's another thing - they make zip up mattress protectors that go over the entire mattress. We tried the "beeper" - the device that sounds when they wet - it often ended up being launched across the room in the middle of the night! We tried the waking before we went to bed, cutting off liquids, even food changes and waking him up a few times a night. We have a different pediatrician now and he said that many times things clear themselves up at puberty, something to do with the pituitary gland. Our son at 12 - when puberty really hit - really made a dramatic cut back in wetting frequency.

Don't loose heart, be understanding and encouraging. You will both make it through ;) You should talk with your pediatrician about it as well and make sure that there is nothing physical going on and ask how they can encourage you in this.

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D.C.

answers from Sacramento on

My niece used one of the alarms, she was 8 before she stopped. The alarm has seven different sounds and it vibrated. It didn't take too long and she started to wake up on her own. In the meantime, I would purchase the "overnites" underwear to avoid having to change the sheets/bedding. Sometimes it might seem like we are going backward to move forward, but it might also take the stress off your daughter if she can't help it.

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S.B.

answers from Sacramento on

first she can't control how hard she sleeps.
Punishments don't work for something out of their control.

Have you spoken with her pedi and asked to be referred to a urologist?

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D.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi there,
I also have a 6 year old girl that has the same problem. The only thing that has worked for us, and it isn't 100% by any means, is to take her to the bathroom a couple hours into her sleep. I typically go to bed a few hours after she does, and so I carry her to the bathroom and she goes. It's funny because she is totally asleep and almost falls off the toilet sometimes! Anyway, my nephew has used the alarm, but he was such a deep sleeper that it doesn't wake him!
I also agree that your daughter, and mine, will grow out of it eventually.
Hope that helps,
D.

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E.E.

answers from San Francisco on

First take her to the doctor and find out if there is a medical reason for her accidents. If not then take away the pull-ups and let her pee her bed. Do not get up with her at night. Tell her if she has an accident not to wake you up. Tell her to change her clothes and sleep on the floor. Then in the morning have her strip her bed and remake it with clean bedding. She is old enough to do all of this on her own. This way she will have to take responsibility for her bed-wetting and will take responsibility for getting to the bathroom in time. If she is sleeping through it then just let her wake up wet and cold and have her clean it all up. NO pull-ups. I repeat: NO pull-ups.

Best of luck!

Good luck!

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P.L.

answers from Bakersfield on

I have been there, done that. When I grew up I too slept so hard that I had many problems. I have no advise except that time will take care.
Don't stress over it as long as you have been to the doctor and they do not find anything medical that is causing the problem. A neighbor of mine gave me this advise a long time ago:

"Don't worry about it, when they get married their spouse will finish the training anyway".

It is very true. You will look back and realize that all the stress is just not worth the time.

Good luck.

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G.W.

answers from Sacramento on

Take her to the doctor and ask about the night time nasal spray that prevents this from happening. The accidents have nothing to do with her being a hard sleeper. The doctor told us there is a chemical that is released to the brain to notify the child that they need to go to the bathroom. The nasal spray is a substitute for this chemical. She will eventually grow out of it and you will no longer need the nasal spray. I'm telling you it was a life saver. She had a normal life and could have sleepovers with no worry of embarrasment!

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