My husband and I are putting together a father/daughter banquet for our church. Ages for the girls will be 5-14.
My problem is that although we have a name for the theme ("I Promise") I have trouble finding something else to call it when talking or announcing it. Father/daughter I found out by a mom with hurt feelings since she's a single parent will prob bother others. I explained that when we promote this event publicly we will make clear that we are not excluding those without dads we are including those girls by inviting and suggesting they bring another an in their life such as uncle, grandfather, cousin, etc...
I can sympathize myself with this dilemma and feel father figures are really important for those that do not have active dads on their lives. So...I want to call it something else I just don't know what. Any suggestions?
PLEASE no judgemental comments. We are also planning in the future to do other couple events such mother/son, father/son and other daughter and I'm sure will have same issue for all so getting ideas now will help in the future. Thanks!
Thanks everyone for your responses. After reading these and talking about it we have decided what we will do about this. Just to clarify...no this is not a "purity ball" thing. That would be for older girls so this age group will not have anything to do with virginity. I promise theme is spiritual in context and also we will be having games and prizes and skits. But as an important figure in girls lives dads and father figures (uncles, grandpas stepdads etc) play an important role we feel. So as adults that are engaging in and speaking Into to these girls lives they promise to them to pray for them, be there to talk or connect with them, love them and be a good role model in every day life but also spiritually. The girls in turn promise to love and respect them and listen to what they have to say and pray for them as well. Nothing creepy :).
So what we decided was to not refer to it at all as a father/daughter event. We will announce and promote it as the first annual "I Promise" event for girls ages 5-14 will attend with the most important man in their life. Our church has many different types of family situations so for some this will be a grandpa, uncle, father, or step father. That way we hit as many situations as possible without putting too much emphasis on the typical father daughter relationship. Thanks again for helping us get out thoughts straight. :)
My son's school has VIM week, where the dads and other special men in the kids' lives are invited for lunch and activities. It stands for Very Important Male. My husband was out of town last year, so my son's uncle and (adult) cousin split the week. The VIM title made us very comfortable with the substitution.
Is this one of those creepy church things where the daughters pledge their virginity to their fathers? That certainly is what the promise theme implies. If that's not what it is, you might want to change it - I agree with Mamazita. It's just creepy. If that IS what it is, sorry, I wouldn't know what to call that…
ETA: Yeah, that still is creepy. I go to church regularly, but honestly, I don't get it. You teach your daughter (and your son, for that matter) to be true to themselves. To regulate their own choices, to respect their parents because it is right, to pray because it is right. Making a wedding style commitment to do so is just plain old creepy. It's not a covenant in any religion I know of and as far as I'm concerned, commitment ceremonies such as these should be reserved for those creating a family as adults. To bind a minor child (who cannot in any other way commit to agreements legally or maturationally) in any sort of commitment ceremony just is wrong, in my opinion. I agree with Suz T - ew.
I absolutely LOVE Ashlynn R's suggestion! The whole "promise" thing is a bit creepy to me (sorry if I offend anyone) and as a Girl Scout leader I helped out with many father daughter dances. We ALWAYS included "bring daddy or grandpa or the most special guy in your life" type wording to our invites, because let's face it, some girls don't have fathers, and some, if they do, don't want them coming to their special day.
How about, "me and my guy?"
We mostly did dances, but also had a few other things, like a picnic/BBQ, and a camporee.
I don't get what "I promise " is about. Sounds creepy to me.
Can't you do something more lighthearted that helps establish communication with parents or someone the child respects as a parent?
Don't over think this.
Call it something like a care dance where the girls take someone they care about
I do not think I would refer to it as anything other than a "Father Daughter" event. Just make sure in the body of the announcement, that the daughter, can invite one person to attend with her. Yes, of course it could be her mother, if no other man is in her life. Maybe a Grandfather, Uncle, God Father, etc..
Fathers get such limited opportunities to be recognized, honored and appreciated as it is.
And believe me, my parents were divorced and if I had my choice at the time, my mom would have been the person I would have invited.
You can call it a "sharing experience", "a coming together," "a gathering", "a celebration of a special bond". A way to have an important person in her life celebrate with her.
What does the "I Promise" mean?
Oh sorry, I just saw your What Happened? Maybe I am out of line here, but some little girls might want to go just for fun and don't want to declare this spiritual promise to the gentleman that joined them. It is perhaps just a fun outing to them.
Not creepy at all. I wish more fathers would actually promise and keep the promise to care for and be present with their dd s.
Sounds like a great event and while I don't personally think you should have had to worry about what to call it. It was nice of u to be sensitive to the people attending. Good solution.
I'm in the camp that thinks this is a little creepy. And it is a Father/Daughter dance, call it what it is. If people are offended by that, it is what it is. People get offended by sunny days now it seems. I think the whole thing seems a little off, personally.
If it's for fathers and daughters then those who don't have a dad should invite their male role model. They can also attend with their best friends dad.
This takes the pressure off the girls who are in this situation. For the most part I'd have a short meeting after church tomorrow and ask all dads to stay for just a moment and everyone else leave.
Mention to them that there are girls who don't have anyone to turn to and would the dads in the congregation please consider asking their daughters and granddaughters little girl friends to accompany them.
If the theme is "I promise," why not call it the "promise dance?"
