My mother watches DD who is 15 months. She has been doing so since I returned to work in September. Normally she has her Tuesday-Friday from 7 until 4. I am slightly concerned because my mother has a hard time walking. She gets around, but she does have good and bad days. I know she doesn't get on the floor with DD, but is very interactive with her through singing, playing from a chair, and just everyday conversation. Would you look for other childcare or just continue with the current siutation?
ETA: I should have included that she can walk without aid, it's just painful for her. She keeps her knees wrapped and ices them when DD naps.
If your mom is game (she might be really offended if you get other care or she might be relieved) and you feel your little O. is safe and in capable hands, I think there's no better place to be than with grammy.
IF your mom thinks it's "too much" now that she's 15 months and more "labor intensive" than a newborn, but still wants to keep her fingers in the pie, maybe T/R at daycare and W/F at grandma's house would be a good compromise?
I am disabled and cared for my granddaughter from birth to kindergarten. I would "walk her to preschool", her on my lap as we motored along in my wheelchair. We wnet swimming a lot for exercise (one thing I am still good at as an ex-lifeguard) we read, and sang, did crafts, and played with doll houses, paper dolls and I could still teach her to ride a trike and potty trained.
Your mother may be differently-abled, but NOBODY is going to give your daughter this much unconventional love. I think that is an awesome way to spend your early formative years!
what does SHE want? Does she feel good in caring for her granddaughter or is becoming h*** o* her?
ASK HER...don't make assumptions. ASK! :)
Hey Mom! I really appreciate you watching Jane! I love how you take care of her! I know your arthritis is acting up - do you want me to start looking around for another person to care for her?
LISTEN to what she says.
Then tell her to let you know when she doesn't think she can do it anymore.
Don't just pull the rug out from under both of them. That would be a shock to the system. BY communicating with her and being aware of her situation, you won't shock anyone and you will give your mom and daughter valuable time together!
I totally agree with OneAndDone! :)
I think it's important for your daughter to have a relationship with her grandmother and it's great that she wants to care for her while you work. That said, toddlers only increase their energy level as they grow, so I would suggest a compromise of 2 days with a daycare and other children to play with and two days with your mother. Seem like that might be the best of both worlds!
Do you feel your mother would be able to leave in case of fire? Do you believe your mother is able to stay awake all day? Do you feel your mothers home, or yours if she's doing it there, is safe and free of fire hazards?
I would not worry about it if she is capable and willing to be awake all day, the home is safe, and especially if she's wired up to one of those systems that would alert police or fire in case of emergenies.
I probably would find other care in the future. If your Mom has mobility issues now, then it is only going to be worse as your little one starts getting more mobile and running everywhere. It is not a personal thing....you really have to look at it from a safety point of view.
I would ask your mom what SHE wants to do.
My MIL watches our son two days a week (daycare the other 3) and she recently had a hysterectomy and couldn't physically pick up my son or chase after him. We arranged a different carer while she was recovering and then asked her is she still wanted to look after him for the two days or if we should enroll him in daycare 5 days a week. She asked to keep him for those two days.
She still can't pick him up or chase after him that well, but they do lots of fun things together - feed the ducks, painting, water table play, puzzles, books, etc.
I think it is great bonding time for your mom and daughter, as long as your mom is happy to keep doing it. I have a feeling your questioning whether or not your daughter is being stimulated enough in your mom's care. If she is a loving, kind caring grandparent and happy to watch your daughter, I think your current situation is great.
If you feel your daughter needs more activities you and hubby can do them with her Sat-Mon.
can she run out the door holding your daughter in case of fire? what if she falls and cannot get up, who will get to your child? I would look for alternate care and let grandma have the occasional time while you are within phone distance.
I was in a very similar situation when my daughter was 10 months old and I returned to work. My MIL insisted on watching her 3 days a week, while my mom (10 years younger) watched her the other 2. About 3 weeks into my return to work I get a frantic phone call at work saying that my MIL is in the hospital and my daughter was being watched by my sister in law in the ER waiting room. (My SIL has severe epilepsy and couldn't even hold my daughter without supervision). My MIL had an anxiety/panic attack over caring for my daughter, and thought she was having a heart attack. Needless to say, we had to take measures into our own hands, be very cautious not to hurt any feelings, all while keeping our daughter's safety and well being above anything else. There were some hard feelings after we told my MIL that we were looking into daycare, but now, 5 years later, are so very thankful that we did. I know that my MIL would have never said that it was too much for her to handle...the panic attack let us know just how difficult it was for her. She ended up watching our daughter for shorter periods on the weekend while we ran to the store or church. To this day, we are mindful of the time we have her spend with our rather active 6 year old, and there are no hard feelings. Daycare 2-3 days a week, while my mom watcher her the other days was a great combination for her. She got the 1:1 time with her grandmother here at home and the socialization with other kids and chance to experience different environments, people, etc while at daycare. I hope this helps..good luck!
I think that the more active your DD becomes the more difficult this may be. When my DD was about the same age, I made the decision to switch to the infant/toddler program at YMCA and it has wound up being a great situation. My daughter benefited from the all the socialization and no hard feelings within the family about grandma watching the baby.
I'd only be looking for an alternative if your mom isn't able to keep her safe during the day. Mobility is important in preventing accidents. Reasoning skills and memory are also important. If she's getting too old to make wise decisions this wouldn't be good either. If she is unable to help herself, let alone your daughter, this would be a very bad situation for both of them. Your daughter is at the age where kids like to bolt and don't have the understanding to know danger. You wouldn't want mom taking her for walks to the park or doing anything where she would have limited control over a situation involving your daughter.
As for development...which your question seems to be focused on: If your mom is talking with her and playing games, feeding her well and keeping her properly cleaned, napped, your daughter is getting plenty of good interaction, and loving attention, then she's getting enough good developmental interaction for her age.
