Need a Advice

It's a hard position to be in and you need to work on your self worth, self esteem, and self Confidence. Maybe you will need to go to a professional therapist to help you with this. So think about that and know the investment in yourself will be well worth it.

Right now he is with you and he's got some issues and feelings to deal with and decisions to make and might turn to you to talk things over to best figure out how best to handle things and you will need to be strong and patient with him. But remember the decisions has to be his to make. What you need to do is set limits ....put a silent time limit on him for making those decisions and stick to that limit.

If this process is going to be to hard for you, then you have your own decisions to make. Personally I would part ways for a while now giving him the space he needs to work out his issues, problems and come up with decisions.

Right now you don't know if the mother of his children will take him back or not but if he wants to go in that direction or is thinking of going in that direction, LET HIM GO and get on with your life without him. Don't see him or take him back unless he comes back a fee man knowing he wants to be with you and only with you and willing to father his children without being with the childrens Mom.

Hanging on to a man who is confused and doesn't know what he wants will put you through hell and chances are, it will destroy the relationship you have with him along with the wonderful memories you have of this relationship.

Hello M.,

I would ask myself a few questions if I were in your situation.

How do I measure my own self-worth and value?

How do I show myself the respect and care I need?

Do I really need to base my happiness on having a man in my life?

How secure is my relationship with this man? Is he honest, moral and decent?

Does he make all the decisions in the household leaving you feeling helpless and unable to make your own decisions? (financially, etc.)

You sound like a sweet, loving, caring individual who has so much to offer the world. Maybe this person is a great guy who had enriched and added to your life, I really don't know.

Please, please understand that if you believe you need another person to make you happy, you will never find true happiness. Especially if he may have feelings for someone else.

Insecurity comes from not learning as a young child how to assert your own independence. You can do this and deal with this whatever happens.

If my spouse/boyfriend expressed to me that he is missing or longing for his former girlfriend or relationship with the mother of his first children and misses her, I would have to question how committed he is to me.

Yes he may need to speak with her on some level about their son, but I think it disrespects and illustrates his inability to make a solid commitment to you if he admittedly wants to get back together with her.

Please re-evaluate your relationship, and seek some counseling. It really does help.

God Bless,

D.

I wish I could help you out on this but you are not really making sense on what you are saying is going on

Tell him to go figure it out.. you deserve to be #1 not to be feel insecure about anyone else, move on.

The only thing I can say is to make sure you keep talking to him. Be honest about how you are feeling. He may not know that you are upset or feeling insecure.

Only time will tell if the relationship will last. My husband and I just went through a really rough patch but it only got better when we started talking about it. When he realized a lot of what he was doing was hurtful to me - he stopped.

Good Luck.

I am not sure of what you are saying. Are you saying that he hasn't seen the childrens mother in 17 years???? As to being insecure, you just do what you feel is best for you. Have confidence in yourself as a good person. If you feel he is still interested in the mother of his children, there is nothing you can do about it, HE has to deside how he feels. If you love each other thing may go through a difficult time for awhile. I would continue to love him as you have. Why weren't they together? If it was because they didn't get along? The reasons for their seperation will surface again.

You may get better responses if you can have someone look over what you have written and help you reword it. It is very hard to understand what you are asking. If you can get some help go to edit my post and delete what you have and add the updated request.

Si espanol es tu primer idioma tal vez te puede ayudar. Si quieres escribirtu pregunta nuevamente en espanol y te lo escribo en ingles. Escribiste unas palabras que dejo tu situacion confundido. No se es el hijo que quiere ver su mama o tu companero que quiere ver su mama. Lo que sea creo que puedes quedar tranquila pero los dos situaciones son diferente y hace dificil a darte consejo. Soy de New Jersey pero vivo en Venezuela. Mi esposo tiene 2 hijos y nosotros tenemos 3. 5 total. Cualquier cosa haz un comentario en Espanol y yo lo transduzco en un commentario despues. N.

from what i can understand your boyfriend has 2 kids, whom he recently go intouch with, they are 17 years old,
and now your jealous about the relationship he has with their mom,

Look, you need to take things slow and see where they go,

I am not sure how long ago they broke up, but he has to have a friendship with her, and his kids.

its up to you to decide what you want from him and where the relationship is going.

If you want to fit into the family then you need to accept, that they have a past and anything goes;

If you don't trust him, then whats the point in sticking around.

M