Nail Biting Problem

I was a nail biter as a child and my mom also tried various methods to help me quit - to no avail. I finally was able to break the habit on my own as an adult when I had the will and determination to do it. Now 2 of my three children (ages 5 and 3) also bite their nails. While I am disappointed that they may have picked up on this habit from me, I try to keep it in perspective: As much as I would like them to stop, it may not happen until they have the desire and motivation to stop. In the meantime, it doesn't seem to help to hound or punish them for it, and I don't think it is going to permanently affect their long-term health. I wouldn't necessarily get too uptight about possible "reasons" for or "causes" of the nail-biting since often there are no explanations. Certainly, the poor relationship with her father is a concern, but that is a more serious problem than the nailbiting, imho.

T.,

There is a product on the market (sorry I do not know the name) that you can paint her nails with that should help with this problem. You usually can find the product at a Pharmacy. Hope this helps.

S.

I have to disagree with Melissa T. I don't think that it necessarily runs in families, or that she had to see someone else do it. My brother was a nail biter, and the only one in the family. It used to drive my mother crazy, and he actually quit biting while in college. So, it's possible that the stress of having someone constantly trying to get him to stop made him do it more. Maybe you should try the products at Wal-Mart that were mentioned and giving her something else to fiddle with like a charm bracelet that's full of charms. We picked up some small block puzzles at Cracker Barrel that were about $1 each that might help. They are small square pieces of wood that are strung together with elastic that can be moved into various arrangements. My granddaughter, who is five, loves them. I first saw them when someone gave one to my boss who is very high strung and fidgets a lot. She loves it, and said that it truly helps her nervous habits to keep that around.

My four year old daughter was biting her nails and I sat down and asked her if she really wanted to do it or she just couldn't help it. She said she didn't want to so I told her we would work together to stop. I was very nice about it. When I would see her do it I would say "Do you know what you are doing?" She would take her hands out of her mouth. We also sat down and had a long talk about germs. Her and I drew pictures of what we thought the little germs on her hands looked like and hung them up on the fridge as a reminder. A phycologist might be able to do cognitive behavioral therapy but I don't know that they will be able to do any better then you can. I am sure the absence of her father is causing some problems for you as well. As mother's I think we tend to harbor so much guilt even if things are out of our control. I am sure you know this but it isn't your fault and I bet you are a better mom then most because you are her main role model.

I have found in my parenting experience that the more uptight I become about a particular behavior, the worse it seems to get. I think if you can find a way to stop focusing on it altogether - even if you literally have to bite your tongue (which I have done) - the better off you and your daughter will be. I'd cancel the psychologist if the only reason you're going is for the nail biting. Going is probably making her nervous enough to continue biting. It came across to me that you may have more of a problem with her father's lack of involvement than she does at this point, so maybe a psychologist could help with that. I think you should just let her be if you can. I say this wishing I had been better at doing that myself. It's something I'm working hard at now. Good Luck!

I'll be turning 30 in a few months and I've always bitten my nails. I don't remember a time when I didn't. Maybe you should just accept that it could be a part of who she is? I'm all about incentives to help her stop. And teach her about germs and that they live on the hands and can make her sick, etc. But in the end, the choice is hers.

I have been a nail biter all of my life. My mother would paint this stuff on my nails that tasted HORRIBLE - the problem is...it makes anything you touch with your fingers taste horrible (i.e. pizza, fruit - anything you would eat with your hands). It didn't work though, to this day I go through phases where sometimes I bite, and sometimes I let them grow out. My husband is a nail biter too. Neither one of us is stressed about anything, so I can't blame it on that. I think it's just habit.

Perhaps an incentive? If she goes for a certain length of time w/o biting her nails, a small treat? Lengthening the amount of time each time she reaches the current goal and slowly she will break the habit. Or perhaps a substitute. My son has ADHD and he does not bite his nails, but has a tendency to chew on his finger itself (looks so painful) or on anything else (shirt collars, sleeves, etc) At the advice of one of his teachers, a substitute is sometimes supplied: something of texture that he can carry in his pocket. It varies; an eraser, a rock, a small car....Whenever he has the urge to chew on something or to constantly touch things as is his habit, he can just stick his hand in his pocket and touch the item instead. Sometimes it works, sometimes not...but it has helped some. Good luck!

T., It's tough seeing but i was a nail bitter as a kid through JR high. It's a phase. Now i have to keep them cut down since they grow so long so fast! But as a kid I'd bite sometimes unconciously. I'd wake up at night biting them! And them it u find a rough spot rather get the clippers of file i'd bite it off and of course they'd rip down to the quick. Because they weren't healthy. Maybe if u "played" with her nails, keep them filed down (all the way down), or cut down. maybe that would help. It seemed as soon as i got the nail from catching i'd stop. But that was me. My brother still bites his. But again i think his is out of habit. Good Luck I Hope I Was Some Help.

V. (SAHM Of Two)

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Get off her back. I am a grandmother, I bit my nails until a year ago. I had an aunt who promised me anything, a manicure, money, a trip. It never helped. It is a nervous habit. As a young child, I even bit my toenails!
I never smoked or drank. My mother would say, "get your hands out of your mouth", once in a while. I certainly didn't want to do it, and felt terrible that I did. My advice is, ignore it, and love, love, love her.

Take her to the local health department or a laboratory where they can take a scraping of the crud under her nails and put it on a slide and view it under a microscope so she can see all the ugly organisms that are under there! That should totally freak her out! ;-) Once she gets an upclose and personal look at what she's eating, she will never want to eat "finger food" again!

T.
It sounds like she might be afraid that you and her dad will part or leave.
Show her alot of love and reasure her that you and her Father are there.
He needs to see that he is part of that special childs life.
She needs to see and know all will be ok.
He needs to talk to her and reasure her that he loves her very much.
A family always should be there for one another.

hi nail biter of about 19 years here. i recently tried thums that you get at walgreens bad stuff burs like crazy esp if in eyes. then i found malava stop. you can get it on amazon... very bitter i used it for about 2 weeks and havent bitten my nails since! give it a shot hope this helps

My 6 year old was biting all the time. Every time I noticed I would tell her to stop, telling her that she was going to bite too far down and it would hurt, also it is not a nice habit and her hands are dirty. She finally stopped biting - only to switch to picking. She peels fingernails and toenails. When I see she is doing it I just gently push her hands to her side while looking her in the eye and we go about what we were doing. Occasionally we talk about why she needs to stop, but not every time. She was invited to a party to get her nails painted tomorrow and she cried and didn't want to go. She knows she shouldn't do it but just can't stop. I like the idea of the bracelet and will try that. No stress in her life that is causing this habit...

YOu can talk to the doc about ways to ease her stress. You should talk to her dad about spending some alone time with her. Other than that, you can take her for a manicure, that may be more special. You can also try talking to her about a reward system. The problem is that a lot of times the nails are being bitten when they are not even paying attn. You can try to find that Stop Bite polish that has a bit of a sting at Walmart or Target. It does not work as they are older b/c they just bite around it and not get their tongue near it. At her age, it may work. You can make a point to paint them every single day with this stuff. It serves as a reminder for her to not bite them. Set up a reward, a big one, for if she stops. My mom offered me $10 per nail if I stopped, that was 25 yrs ago. Also, you can try working out a plan where she only bites one hand and leaves the other one alone. That way, at least 5 grow. Then, work on one finger at a time. I stopped as an adult by only biting my thumbs and letting the others grow. Then, once they looked so pretty, I worked on one thumb at a time. Painted it every single day so I paid attn to them and made a reminder to myself not to bite them.

Not sure any of these will work for a 4 yr old but it is worth a shot!

W.

Biting nails is a sign of a person being worried. Alleviate the worry in her life and it will alleviate the nail biting. Punishing her for nail biting by putting gloves on her hands, or sitting on her hands, or cayenne pepper is not solving anything, it is making it worse. I am a former nail biter and my parents did all kinds of things to me, including hot sauce and products that came on the market...I did not care...I found comfort in biting my nails.....it took whatever I was worried about away for the moment. It is like doing something to yourself destructive BUT....not anything major. Your child is asking for HELP in the way of solving the worry issues at hand. Shame on daddy for not being a more part of her life....gosh that is not your fault but it is the mother who generally has to solve everything, not fair, I know. Please just keep it positive and eventually she will stop. I am now 41 years old. I have experienced this first hand by being the "nail bitter" and even my toes.....

Painting her nails is nice but take her (if you can) to a professional nail technician and have her to get her nails painted there.....it will make her feel WONDERFUL....and maybe a tad to proud to have something done so professionally and big girlish to bite her nails. I used to take my own daughter with me when I got mine done, and it cost me about $3.00 to have her nails painted. Nothing extensive, just simple. Gave her choices in what color too, not too crazy...but nice colors.

I hope this helps you. I am just talking from experience being the nail bitter myself and having my parents do everything under the sun but solve my worry issues.

Hi T.,

I'm sorry your daughter is a nail biter. It can be frustrating, hard to understand why and disgusting to some when we think of all the germs she's putting in her mouth. I have to say I agree with Jessica S & Kathy S's advice for you...get off of her back and ignore the behavior.

As a former nail biter I can tell you that having my mom nag me about my nails didn't stop me. The polishes didn't help me either and it drove my mom crazy.

I'm not sure when I stopped, I just did. I do sometimes bite my nails now when I'm driving long distances, nervous or if one of my nails break and I don't have access to a nail file. Half the time I don't even realize I'm doing it but once I do, I stop. ;)

Love your daughter, offer her other things to fidget with for her nail biting habit and cancel the psychologist appointments. There are worse things than biting her nails and it sounds like it's more a problem for you than it is for her. I'd also suggest observing her to see when she bites...is it all the time, when you're going places, when she's bored, lonely, etc.

Peace,
J.

T.,
So you are probably a single mom as you said that her father is not in her life much. Nail biting is more of a nervous habit. Since you are a single mother you may have financial problems. Make sure that she doesn't hear any negativity on that part and don't yell and stay as calm around her as possible. Also try talking to her and ask her what makes her nervous, then see if you can change things that do make her nervous. Also I have heard that sometimes when children start school that gives them something else to do and takes their mind off of other things therefore, she may eventually and gradually stop biting them at that point. Take the time to sit with her and give her all the attention that you can - individually as much as possible. If you have one 3 and ond 4, I will bet she is the 4 yr old and sometimes that can bring on the nail biting when another one comes into play. If you are a nervous type person or a rushed type person, try slowing down a bit and see if that helps. Just sit at night after they go to bed and kind of evaluate what happens in one day in your house hold and see if you can figure out what may be causing it and then make a plan to see how much you can change it. If for some reason you feel like you have the most perfect household and you can't think of any reason for her to be nervous then maybe she is just plain board and school will help and be wonderful for her and may actually be your savior.
Good luck and I hope that she will calm soon.

I know this sounds crazy...ignore it. Try your best not to comment at all about it. My pediatrician said the bigger deal you make about it, the more they do it. I would have to agree. Two of my children were nail biters. I have to say that the less I said the less they did it. They don't hardly ever have their hands in the mouth. I had tried it all before I tried ignoring it. Hope this helps.

Something is not right regarding the your child bitting her nails. Do you yell at her when trying to get her attention? Is there a male figure in her present? What is the situation when she bits her nails? Is someone bullying her? Look at the atmosphere and the surroundings of your child to see what bring on the nail biting. It might be something simple.

I totally agree with Janet L. I was a horrible nail biter for as long as I can remember. As soon as I went off to college, I just stopped. I have no idea how or why I stopped...it was a completely unconscious effort, just as my nail biting was. I hated that I did it and would even try all of the tricks to stop myself and nothing worked. Now I have great nails. Just back off and leave it alone and I'm sure she'll eventually stop on her own.

She's 4, nail biting is common. It will probably stop at some point. If the issue is not enough attention from dad, biting nails is getting her more attention and if fuss over her about it you are providing that extra attention. My daughter bit her nails until recently when she got braces, she is 10. She wanted to stop, it was an unconcious habit.
She would stop when she realized she was doing it. We polish her nails regularly it didn't matter. Peer pressure may help or not. Is it the end of the world if she bites her nails?

They sell a product at Wallmart that you paint on your child's nails that is made for this problem. It tastes very bitter and it worked for my sisters daughter. I think it is called "Stop Bite" ot something like that. It is down the isle where you find other clear nail polish products. Good luck and I hope this helps.

I don't know if it would work or not, but there is a "fingernail paint" that goes on the nail for thumbsuckers to keep them from sucking their thumb. Maybe it would work for biting too? All 3 of my children were thumb suckers and my boys just stopped one day. I can't even tell you when. One day they were sucking their thumb the next day not. My daughter was bound and determined not to stop sucking her thumb. I forget what the name of the fingernail paint is, but if you go to the drug store and tell them what you are looking for, I am sure they can tell you what it is.

There is an oil that you can get at most stores like Walmart, Kmart or a pharmacy. It is bitter not hot. You just have to rub a small amount on the nail and tip of the finger. It makes them not want to bite their nails. I did try it with my daughter and if I wanted to go with the do as I say not as I do, I would have kept using it on her because it did work.

My question would be who did she see bite their nails? I know that it is a family thing with us passed down from generation. My mom did it and now me and my brother do it. I have 1 child that does and and possibly the second. He is almost 4 and I catch him every once in a while biting a nail off and stop him. My brother has 3 kids that do it.

I am 33 and it is annoying and embarrassing. You dont even know you are doing it. It is a nervous habit. It is a bored habit. It is a I'm concentrating habit. Fingers get sore and bleed. The nailbeds are so messed up. Most of the time when there is no more nail then it is time to bite skin and nail cuticle. My mom has actually quit biting her nails but her nails do not grow right because of all the years she had done it. She has thin crooked nails that she has to cut short anyways.

If you can get her to stop that would be great not only now for her but her future also. Save her a lot of embarrassament.

In the reversingautism yahoo group I belong to, they have found that cina 6c (a homeopathic remedy) helps with nail biting.