My Son Not Talking????????

Updated on March 09, 2007
A.M. asks from Waxahachie, TX
42 answers

Ok I know that all kids a different.....However this has been on my mind quite a bit. I wanting to know what ya'll think? Is it completely normall that my 18 month old son isn't talking yet? He says DA DA DA DA DA DA.....and somethings its like he could be maybe saying DADDY, but thats it. Now he will look staight at me and act as if he is talking to me. you know in that baby language. It is funny as all get out....but I'm just a lil worried since we actually have had any real works. SO what do ya'll think?

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So What Happened?

well i have to say thank you to all of you that sent me some of the nicest messages. I called ECI and we have an appiontment this next friday....however from everything i told her she said that she didn't think i had anything to worry about. but she still want to come out and evauate him just to make sure...i will yet ya'll know how that goes.

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C.W.

answers from Dallas on

OH, don't worry about it. My son was nearly 3 before other people could even understand him. And he still to this day (he's now 5) calls his dad dada

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L.G.

answers from Dallas on

My son was alittle over 2 before he started talking. I was worried also and my very wise Grandma told me this:
When he wants something ask what it is that he wants and instead if "getting the drink" as he points to the cup or fridge coax him into saying drink or water or milk.
That is just an example but you get the idea. I worked on this for about 2/3 wks and didn't let up and he soon got the idea and now he won't stop talking,(and he's now 16)! Another thing Grandma said was: be carful what you wish for you just might get it!
All in all don't worry-when he's ready he will talk.

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L.G.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter never made baby sounds. She just woke up and starting talking in sentences. she was old; cant remember exactly how old, but it was past 18 mos.

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G.W.

answers from Auburn on

A., I have two boys that will be 19 months old in a week. I would consider them babblers, too. My daughter who is 8 was way more verbally advanced than her brothers at this age but honestly it really doesn't worry me. I know there are exceptions to every rule but I think it really is true that girls develop more quickly when it come to speaking. Even as adults women are usually much more expressive with words than men are so I really believe its "hardwired" in our make-up of male v. female. I think we live in a society where we spend way too much time worried about what other people's kids are doing (and how well they're doing it)and then feel tremendous pressure if our kids aren't where the other kids are developmentally. Believe me, I am very guilty of that many times myself but I try to often remind myself that my little guys are unique individuals made perfectly by their Creator and I have to do the best I can to help them grow and mature at the rate that is normal for them. I really doubt they will enter kindergarten without the ability to tell their teacher they need to go to the bathroom - LOL. In the mean time, as a former teacher staying at home to raise her kiddos, I recommend books books and more books to foster language development. Singing lots of songs will also encourage verbal growth. And finally, don't stress out too much, one day you're going to have to worry about this little guy taking off in a car by himself, save your worrying for that!! LOL Have a blessed day :-)

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T.M.

answers from Dallas on

You are right, every child is different. My son didn't start really talking till about 34 months. We worked with ECI, but also went to UTD Callier Center. They did a fabulous job with our son. The program is called SmILE. The woman who teachs the class is awesome. We can't say enough good things about her.
If you are interested the number is ###-###-#### and ask for Berkley Williams. My son loved going there! He would get so excited when we would pull into the parking lot. I would check with your pediatrician as well (actually they should have already told you about ECI or already be looking at this). Please don't worry, I know it is so hard not to, but we can't get my son to stop talking now and see how late he started. Good luck, please let us know how it all goes.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

A.,

You may want discuss this issue with your pediatrician to see if your son's language is developing properly.

My little boy communicated well but did not use clear words. I thought everything was okay until his 2 year check up. Once we realized he was delayed we considered ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) for speech therapy. We decided to use a private speech therapist but this may be an option for you as they come to your home for your child's therapy session. You also pay on a sliding scale dependant upon your income.

I agree that all children learn at their own pace. However, you may want to get some pointers on ways to encourage speech by working with a speech therapist. It really helped my son. She gave us "homework" assignments to help speed things along. My son is still a little delayed in his speech (he's three now). But it is worlds better than before the therapy. I think the progress is partly attributed to the therapy as well as maturity.

I would guess your son is an only child. If so, you may want to be sure to schedule regular play dates is he is not around other children regularly. It seems that communcating with other little ones also encourages these skills. Our speech therapist is a pathologist with TREAT Therapy in Plano. Good luck!

- C.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
My daughter is doing the same exact thing at 15 months old. Only says "Da" and very rarley puts them together for "Da-Da". She does babble in that baby language but nothing else. I have talked with her developmental specilist through ECI or Early Childhood Intervention (she's enrolled for Physical Thearpy, Occupational Thearpy and seeing a Nutricinst) and she said more than likely a little bit later on she will need to start to see a speech thearpist for this. This IS something you need to bring to your pedi's attention and see what his/her opinion is. Good Luck!!!

M.

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

We went through the same thing with my son. He was only saying a few words by the time he was two, whereas my niece who is 8 months younger was about on the same track as he was. We spoke with our pediatrician and she tested his hearing, which was fine. She then referred us to ECI (Early Childhood Intervention). The deal with developmental problems in children under 3. He was tested to see if he would qualify for speech services and he did (he was about 3-6 months behind). Once they began services (which consisted of mainly observing my son and then giving his Dad and I suggestions on things to work with on him), he miraculously started talking in full sentences.
One thing we started doing with him that really helped was to stop giving him what he wanted until he at least TRIED to say the word. That really helped. Sometimes he wouldn't say the word that day, but a couple of days later he would say it out of the blue.
Some kids(especially boys) just speak when they are ready, but I would at least speak to your pediatrician and ask her what he/she thinks. I know I struggled with this b/c you want the best for your child, but I always feel it's better to be safe than sorry. He could start talking so much in the next few months that you felt silly to worry. Good luck to you!

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B.T.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter didn't talk until she was almost two. She would make sounds like Da but didn't really seem to be communicating. However, she walked at 9 months and did so many physical things really early. Our doctor said that she probably was getting all her needs met and didn't feel the need to talk. Once she talked, she never stopped! She is now 8 and is a gifted reader and has a great vocabulary. It is so true that ever kid is different. He seems to be talking to you in his own way, so just talk to your pediatrician. He probably understands a lot of words, but just won't say them.

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A.

answers from Dallas on

Have you talked to your pediatrician? My pediatrician wanted to hear 3-6 words by 15 months, but every pediatrician is a little different. I would say that by 18 months, your son should at least have a couple of words. That said, some kids just talk late! But, if you're concerned, it may be worth a call to Early Childhood Intervention. They can evaluate him for free. If all is fine, you'll get the comfort of knowing that your son is on track. If he is lagging behind, you'll be able to start him in therapy before he's too far behind.

Has he had many ear infections? A friend of mine's son had ear infection after ear infection, and it really prevented him from hearing properly and delayed his speech quite a bit. Once he got tubes, he quickly learned many words.

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

I have an 8 year old son and 3 year old daughter. Like you I thought my son should have been saying more words than he was using at that time. I took him to a speech pathologist but it seems that he just was not ready. He started talking on his own time. Boys seems to be a little slower than girls. Don't worry about it he will talk when he is ready. :)

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
My son was about 2 before he really started talking. Until then he would go to the fridge and point when he was hungry. He would go to the sink and point when he was thirsty. He would tug at his diaper when he needed to be changed. And yes he babbled when he wanted to, but not much more. I talked to his pedi who told me that "he did not need to talk." I was catering to his every need with only a point and possibly a grunt. He was only going to do what he needed to do to get his way. When he would point at the sink, I would say "are you thirsty" or "do you want a drink." So really he did not need to use words. The doctor told me to start using "open-ended questions" this would help him to realize he did need to talk. So I started asking "what do you want?" or "would you like milk or juice?" and so on. With in a month or two he was talking and you couldn't get him to stop.

I would mention this to his pedi, but just to make sure that it is not actually a delay. I really doubt it is, but I am not a doctor and cannot diagnose.

Good luck to you and God bless.

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D.

answers from Dallas on

I experienced the same thing and had my child evaluated by ECI. He had therapy for 18 months and has since progressed beautifully. It may work itself out...it may not. I would use all resources available to help him. It just isn't worth waiting it out when you could be wasting valuable time. Speech therapists are trained professionals who know how to help. I know I loved my son and am well-educated, but not in speech therapy.

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S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,

Your son is very fortunate to have a mother who is concerned about his development.

Yes, children do develop differently. That is why there are developmental age ranges, based on the averages of when typically developing children attain various speech and language skills. If you are not sure what children are usually doing at what age, I invite you to visit my web site, www.startherapyprograms.com, and go to the Milestones page. You can then judge where your child falls in relation to his peers.

A speech and language evaluation would either put your mind at ease, or show you your son's communication strengths and weaknesses. This evaluation would need to be administered by a speech-language pathologist. You could contact Early Childhood Intervention (ECI), a private speech-language pathologist, or a clinic (i.e. Callier Center).

If you should have any further questions, please feel free to contact me, ____@____.com luck & trust your instincts. I have been practicing for almost 15 years, and have found that a mother's instincts are usually quite accurate.

S. Ambers, M.S., CCC-SLP
Speech-Language Pathologist

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A.L.

answers from Seattle on

All kids develop at their own pace. However, if you feel that his language may be a little delayed, you may want to look into getting a profesional's opinion. ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) would be a great place to start. It is an organization that provides services for children ages birth to 3 years old at no cost to you. They have speech pathologists that could complete a speech and language evaluation to give you more info. Hope this helps!!

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

I wouldn't worry to much about it. My 9 year old son was babbling still at 5 years old, and all of a sudden he was talkin up a storm, and my 6 year old didn't walk till he was 18 months. I to was worried, but it turned out to be nothing. So be patient, he will start and you won't be able to get him quiet..lol.

K.M.

answers from Dallas on

Encourage it by using the phrase "use your words" or "mommy doesnt understand" and once he uses them make a bit of a tadoo about it have fun wih talking just like potty training; make use of words absolutley fabulous. Do not talk back in the babble only use adult language. you may even want to take him to a childrens sign class and have him "sign and say" my old boss did that with their daughter at one and she was signing and talking as though she were a translater by 16/17 months.

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K.W.

answers from Dallas on

It takes some time for kids to get the fine motor skills that constitute verbalization skills. That is why Sign Language works so well. It gives them a way of communicating without the frustration of not being understood. As long as your child has no hearing deficits, I wouldn't worry about it. Try to not respond to his requests unless he attempts verbalization. Say the word and ask him to reapeat it for everything. If you do any sign, say it sign it and take his hands to demo the repeat. In time he will begin telling you what he wants. I remember my brother would only whisper to me until he was 4 years old. Frustrated my mom and dad terribly. But he would point and whine with them and they would get him what he wanted.

Good luck,
K.
The Nesting Place

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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hey,
My step son, He's not 5, He did not start talking until he was almost 3. He would say dis, dis, and point to stuff. Then one day...out of no where....he started speaking to us as if he'd been doing it all along. I think if there is anything traumatic to a cilds life (in our case a split family living with a father who worked all day) it could slow a child down a little. I would take him for a check up...just to ease my nerves...but Im sure its nothing more than him doing his own thing. :o)

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
He really should be saying words at his age. Esp. things like mama,daddy and bye-bye. Has he had his check up with the pediatrician? If not I would call and schedule one. He may need an evaluation by a speech therapist or they may want to check his hearing although I doubt that has anything to do with it since he does do the baby talking. Try not to worry. He could just be a little slow in the talking department and advanced in other areas. But I would def. call and and schedule an appt. with the doctor. Also, when you tell them the reason don't just settle for speaking to the nurse. Tell them you want an appt. to speak to the doctor. Good luck and be sure to tell me what they say. I am sure everything will be fine. :)
Amanda

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B.U.

answers from Dallas on

i would definitely not worry. My first born daughter didn't talk til almost 3 yrs old!! Not that she didn't have the skill or power to..she just didn't want to. Everyone else kept making comments, which is what started me worrying!! Even had ECI come and work with her. She just wasn't ready..but BOY, when she did start she just flew! Now that she's 9, she talks back so much that i miss those 1st few years!! haha!

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,
Does he point? Does he reference you and want to bring things to you? Does he turn around when you call his name? It is true that all kids are different, but I would talk to a speech therapist. Let me know the answers above and I can help you out. My email is ____@____.com
L.

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N.

answers from Dallas on

When my son was 19 months old, another mom posted a similar question on mamasource. I responded to one of the mothers that left advice with a private message becasue she sounded like she had experience with the same thing. She wrote me back and stated that a child 12-18 months old should have a vocabulary of 50-100 words. She recommended ECI, which I know other mother's have already mentioned in their posts to your question. I was worried because my son had maybe 5 words in his vocabulary, but he was doing that "baby language" thing you described where he was talking up a storm, but no one knew what he was saying. I didn't do anything more at the time, and very shortly after that, my son just started "talking". He started imitating words and making different noises and by the age of two, he was using 2 word "sentences". In that previous post, one of the mother's said she thought it was a gender thing. That girls tended to talk earlier than boys, which was definitely the case in our family. If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about it for now. You might bring it up with your pediatrician if that makes you feel better, but you could also wait for the 2 year mark and see if he doesn't start yammering up a storm like our little one did by then. My son is 26 months now and he can follow simple instructions like "go put that in the trash" or "pick up your toy". And he asks questions all the time like "Mom, what are you doing?" or "Where's Memaw?" He knows the words for the foods and drinks he likes so he asks for them all the time like milk, water, grapes, "tia" (which is tortilla),etc. It's so great when they start communicating. Your son may just need a little more time like mine did. Good luck!

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R.C.

answers from Dallas on

I worked in a daycare for 3 years. Like others have said. Some kids learn diff then others, and some have speech problems. I've seen it all. ECI is great. All the employees are so nice and they will help you out alot. And if you child ever goes to daycare, they will also go to the daycare and meet with your child there. The daycare I worked at had a few children over the years that ECI would meet with. They are a tremendous help. But just remember, tell them everything about your child, don't hold back. I had a parent (the dad) not want to tell the therapist a few things, which delayed the childs progress a little. Always tell them everything, they are there to help and not judge. ECI of Tarrant County/Ft Worth are great and wonderful people !!!!!

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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

My son was just like yours at 18 months, he would just babble no talking at all, everyone just said to wait, boys espically to not talk until later. So I waited, he then turned 2 in January of last year, and we were concerned because he was not putting 2 words together at all and his cousins the same age but a few months apart were talking up a storm! We called ECI and that was the best decison we ever made, he has made so much progress, he started last May, since he will be 3 this Saturday he cannot quaify for ECI anymore, so they approved him for Speech sessions at Allen ISD at no cost to us. I highly suggest calling ECI because they will evaulate and test him to see if he is behind, and if he is they will provide services at no cost to you. It will put your mind at ease espically if they test him and everything is fine if not they will work with him and give you suggestions for improvements and it works! You can call them at 1-800-250-2246.

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,
Well lil' boys do their own thing. It is good that you are aware of his development and it is on your radar. Does he follow 1-2 step directions? For example, "Pick up the ball" or "get the book". If he is following directions that means his receptive language skills are on track and his verbal may very well be coming soon. Is he using gestures to communicate? Does he make eye-contact? These are few questions to ask yourself. If he is not doing these things, I would have him be assessed soon. If he is doing these things he seems to be fine. It is hard to determine something like this through the computer---if you still are concerned I would recommend having ECI evaluate him. I taught the preschoolers with disabilities for a local school district; early intervention does increase progress. If you have other questions that I may help with, feel free to contact me.

K.
____@____.com

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, A..
I totally understand your worrying--have you had his 18-month appt, yet? If not, I'd bring it up to the doctor when you do...I'm sure the doctor will tell you you have nothing to worry about. It sounds good that he's looking at you & pretending to talk. That doesn't sound like autism (I've had some education on recognizing such things as a teacher, and I have a brother with Aspergers). I was a bit concerned with my first-born & our doctor told me that as long as he hears well & seems to understand simple directions at that age, we shouldn't worry that he wasn't talking much.
So, if your little guy has good hearing & can follow simple direction (ie. put the toy in the box) I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

dont worry my 8 year old didnt start talking till he was almost two years old alot of times his sister would do the talking for him then out of no where he started and never stopped he talk when he is ready

C.

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S.F.

answers from Dallas on

Is he around other kids that talk? if not try that. I teach my son sign laugage and it is wonderful they have many books out there about it. You can start teaching at any age but they usally say i think it is 6-9mths. My son was 6 mths old and had starting signing dog already. they signs are really easy. Child learn to use them hands before there speach. look in to sign laugage for babies. My son is now 3 1/2 and talks and signs like a champ. i was great when he couldnt talk and was hungry and did the sign or wanted something to drink. or EVEN need a diaper change he would tell me.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

My son was the same way and his doctor refered us to ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) and it was perfect! Insurance pays for it and they come to your house! They will only work with children up to 2 or 3 years old. I can't remember. It really helped my little boy.

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E.M.

answers from Dallas on

sounds like my friend's boy. it turned out he couldn't hear because of fluid in his ear. they put in tubs and he was talking in 2 weeks!

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I would have his hearing checked. My son went through the same thing, he didn't talk much until he was 2, and even then he had alot of speech problems. We later found out, not until he was in pre-k, that he had been having reoccuring ear infections that went undetected by his peds. He would never complain, have fever, or any other signs of infection. Once we could keep him clear of those, he began speaking very clear and now talks ALL the time. The boy never shuts up! Hope this helps.

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

According to our pediatrician, kids should be able to say about 3 words by the time they're 15 months. You might ask your pediatrician about it. The doctor should bring it up at his 15-month and 18-month well baby visits.

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M.P.

answers from Dallas on

I think you did the right thing contacting ECI. My daughter uses the speach therapy services through them. THEY ARE WONDERFUL! She was delayed when we first started receiving their services, now that she'll be turning 3 she will age out of the program....but she's all caught up for her age. They are always eager to help you and they also look up other services for you if you need it. They really are a great organization!

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

My son just babbled for about 2 1/2 years. He's almost 3, and the past 6 months have been a language explosion. He went from barely saying words to almost conversations. I wouldn't worry about it. Also, my son didn't say "mama" until he was 2 years and 10 days old.

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J.L.

answers from Dallas on

I am the mom of an autistic three year old. I'm not telling you that to freak you out, but to make my point that it's not too early for you to have your son checked out. It's perfectly possible he's just going to be a little slower than others when it comes to talking. That's usually the case, but in the case of my son, if we'd had him checked out at 18 months instead of waiting almost a year later, we'd be ahead of the game in getting our little guy intervention! We're both educated people--school teachers, for heaven's sake, and we listened to too many people tell us "some kids are just slower than others! Don't worry." I wish now I'd listened to my own intuition more. So if your intuition says your little guy should be saying more than he is, then you should follow it and get it checked out. The one thing that they know about developmental delays and conditions like autism, is that the earlier it is caught, and intervention begins, the better chance of preventing lifelong learning difficulties.

Here's how to get help for free if your child is under three and you suspect that maybe he's not quite where he should be developmentally. Call the Early Childhood Intervention office in your area. It's a federal/state funded program that will do an evaluation of your child and see if he's actually on target, or if he might qualify for a little speech or other therapy. If he does qualify, they may ask you to try to pay for some of the therapy, but it's very inexpensive even if they do, and is based on a sliding scale.

They come to your home and work with you. It's a wonderful program that most moms I know have no idea even exists.

You can find the ECI office in your area, and ask them about a referral by calling the main number 1-800-628-5115 during business hours M-F, or go to the website to learn more. http://www.dars.state.tx.us/ecis/index.shtml

Hope all goes well with your little guy. I'd call if I were you. What's the worst thing that could happen? They tell you he's great and you overreated? But you could sleep peacefully and quit worrying!

J.

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L.T.

answers from Dallas on

My 2nd daughter was doing this as well. Didnt know why. They sent her to childrens medical to get ears tested and found that she had drainage from allergies and put her on flonase and claritan, although she could hear it seemed to muffle sounds or something where she wasnt getting the letters sounds etc. She got on meds and with ECI and within just months was talking up a storm and hasnt stopped yet. They passed her after 6months and we didnt need ECI any longer and could have stopped using them before that as the meds seemed to correct the problem. This was just our exp. Take care and good luck.

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L.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter was almost 2 before she said much and is almost 8 now and just blabs away. My son is 3 and was approaching 2 without any real words but I wasn't worried. He was making tons of noises and had inflection in his voice. You knew he was asking you a question. We thought he'd be talking early since he started with his sounds at 3 months but he just liked the noises I guess. His sounds were recognizable and weren't high pitched and screetchy like you might hear from a hearing impaired person so I wasn't too worried. I was on the verge of contacting ECI when he started talking. Now it's so fun to listen to him have conversations with his toys. He's got quite an imagination. You can contact your ped. if you are very worried but I wouldn't stress too much. He'll get there in his own time.

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

Have you had a hearing test done?

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

I have a daughter 19 months she says some things. I just wrk with her on diffrents sounds and do games and songs with her she loves it. and they can imitate at this age so it is well wrth your advantage to play with her. i also have a ot wrkin with her also 2 times a month. she is from the erly child hood intervention. at that age theres still a lot of sounds and punuation they still cant say, but its normal. you can do head shoulders song and play w/ her w/ educational toys that she and you can sit and play and listen. every thing you do you just talk to her and repeat it. some things they say is wat that is but they just dont have all the sounds yet of a wrd.
u just watch listen repeate talk play.

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A.T.

answers from Little Rock on

2 friends of mine had the same problem. One who was about the age of your son was told that it was fine and normal exp in boys as they a lot of the times take longer to talk as girls mature faster, even in the womb. My other friends girl was older and still having problems and the doctor told her since she actually walked before crawling she missed a much needed devlepmental step so she had to take swimming lessons to "correct" it. Sounded weird to me too but then BAM! Couldnt get her to be quiet after that AND she had an easier time in pre-school with learning and such! :o)

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

I was in sort of the same situation. My son just turned two this past weekend and is just now starting to talk well. Of course my daughter was speaking in full sentences by the time she was 18mths. Anyway...to my son. He was pretty much the same way. He would babble to me and my hubby but never really spoke and real words until recently. It seemed that all of a sudden he was coming to me with all kinds of new words. I have also heard that boys are slower in starting to talk. All I say really tell you is I understand how yo feel and just give him a little more time.

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