My Son Crys a Lot

Maybe he is trying to get more attention now that the baby is here. You could try to be proactive with him and give him a little more attention up front, then anticipate when he is going to have a struggle and ask him ahead of time, "do you want Mommy to help you _____, or do you want to show Mommy how you can do it like a big boy?" Sometimes I also give an answer for them to mimic; "Please help me Mommy," or "I can be a big boy and do it." That way, you have given him the words to say and he only needs to choose what he wants and repeat it.

I have found that, if you tell him that crying is only okay if he is hurt or very sad, then you ignore any cries he has that are not. When he is crying, look away from him and say, "I can't hear anyone that needs help." Then, when he asks, help him, and tell him how great it is that he can (and did) ask for help. Gradually don't say anything until he asks.

Sounds like a normal 3yo to me. He wants to be more independent and gets frustrated easily. I agree that you should offer help, show the best way to ask and show sympathy during times of frustration. Say "use your words" and be sure to quickly and happily respond to those words!

Hi M.!

At this age the thing I do is just keep repeating over and over in a non nagging way, "talk in words" he will eventually do it. Or you can say "I can't understand unless you talk to me in words". If he is throwing a fit just tell when he is done crying you can talk to him, and leave him a lone. He will soon do it. Of course this is done with love. Most of the time it works, good luck!

MJM

My 4 year old does this sometimes...I usually tell her to stop crying and explain crying is ok when she is hurt or sad and then I have her repeat saying mommy I need help...we do this everytime she does this...she has cut down alot, but still does it sometimes.

My daughter will be 3 in a month and is usually a very sweet girl- who wants to do everything herself. You need to practice A LOT of patience and just watch him figure it out. When he needs help he will ask. If he crys when he gets fustrated then give him the words "Do you want mommy to help?" When I do something for my daughter, like open a bottle, she just says I wanna do it! and puts the cap back on and undoes it again. That is just the way they are. Pick your battles- what really matters/what will have a long term effect? You don't want to be fighting and annoyed all day long. Independence and the ability to figure out problems on your own are what you want your child to learn.

Hi M., you are not alone. My 3yr old daughter does same when she cann't do things at her own. She gets frustrated easily instead of trying again and starts crying. Then she screams and utter the language nobody can understand. I simply say stop crying and talk so that i can understand what do you want. Then she stops and tells her problem in words. But everytime i have to remind her. After reading so many responses to your problem i am releived that am not alone. Good luck to you!

Hi M.,

First of all Congrats on your new baby, from the looks of it your son is most likely trying to adapt w/having a new baby sister(he doesn't know what he's feeling/confused-it's normal) and a new addition to family can definitely create a complete change in your son. The best thing to do is find some alone time w/him, reassure him of how you feel about him and try to re-bond with him by focusing on something he enjoys doing and be consistent by following thru w/this new activity you both choose like reading him a story before bedtime. Also, getting down on his level will definitely make a difference and staying calm(voice)when his frustrated will help him calm down, it doesn't happen over night but you'll see a change in him w/in a few weeks if you do this on a daily basis. Keep me updated and Good Luck!B-}

M.,
I'm experiencing a similar experience with my 3 yo daughter. We also have a new baby in the house and I can see the tears and frustration she displays over simple tasks have increased since he was born last month. Lots of patience is needed here with your son and keep reminding yourself that this is just a phase he will pass through. It seems to help my daughter when I spend more time with her during the day and evening and asking her if she needs help before she begins the task (like dressing or going potty). I'm also trying to affirm her with praise for her independence and show her more affection. Best wishes! This too shall pass. R. (SAHM of 2 ages 3 and 1 month)