My on Is Not Able to Adjust to the School or Maybe the School Is Not Able to Adj

if his complaint is he doesn't get to do what he wants then I would say there is to much discipline. He is only 3. What kind of school is this???

Your child is 3 years old and wants to control his day. He wants to play when he wants and he doesn't want to be told to stand in line for this or wait for anything or do what he's told. It sounds like you need to work on his discipline at home before he goes into a more formal environment.

You haven't said if this whole thing is optional or not. If you are doing it just to get him around other children or to make sure he's ready for school, then pull him out. But if you are working and need him in school, then you need to find another place or stand your ground with your son telling him that he is not in charge.

It's not really all that important for a child to go to preschool. I know that people make such a big deal out of preschool. But all schools are forced to work with the children that are not ready to the point of boring the students that know a lot. Kindergarten is a terrible place to be when the child is way over prepared.

It's frustrating on so many levels. I am a provider and know that the world entirely expects us to teach and train the children all day long. They judge us if their babies don't know enough or don't learn as fast as their cousins child or their neighbors child. But when we do work really hard to ready their child for school, we often find out later that they had a terrible time in Kindergarten because they were too smart for the curriculum and too young and not mature enough to handle first grade.

It's a little bit irritating for someone on here to even suggest that daycare is the place for him because it's all about play. TRUE, some providers are more about play. But if they are it's a CHOICE they have made to be that way. So you can call around and talk with providers to find someone that is a step above babysitting and as step below preschool. But don't assume anything. Many in home providers schedule every second of their day and put tons of work into their curriculum. It's insulting to assume that daycare in general is less than preschool.

Sounds like this school isn't a good fit for your son. Maybe look around and find another one.

I dont' understand what it is that the teachers are saying that he is having trouble with. The problem is that he is NOT getting disciplined? Not disciplined by whom, you or his teachers? I'm not really making sense of your post. Some kids at 3 are not ready for preschool, emotionally. Some of them also are not accustomed to following a schedule. It's important to have one at home so that he knows structure. Some parents also let their 3 year olds do whatever they want and rule the roost, never say no to them, and when they got to preschoool, they have a hard time accepting authority and showing repect. I would have a conference with his teacher (and the director if possible) to find out how to help your son have a better experience in preschool. If all he wants to do is play, but the rest of the class is in circle time, listening to a story or doing a craft because that is the structured activity of school, then he is expected to do those things with them. There should be free play time during the preschool day, but it's not a free for all, there will be structured activities that he is expected to take part in like everyone else. If he can't, then he is not yet mature enough for school

Sorry my original post was written early this morning and I am afraid it has insulted some of the people on here.. It was in way meant to put down daycare providers.

I am an early childhood development graduate.
There is a slight difference from a daycare and a preschool. Their main goal is the same, to care for your child.

A preschool can be an excellent place for a child who has been around other adults, knows how to play around and with other children and who is able and willing to follow directions 90% of the time. It tends to be way more of a structured day. There is still lots of play, but they tend to focus on skills a little more.

Daycare has the same goals, but can change up the schedule as needed for an individual child. Same goals. They want to also give the best care for the child. The care givers can assist an individual child more that is needing that extra boost with self esteem independence, and structure. It is a great place for children that have not been around a lot of other authority figures other than their parents, they may not have siblings or older siblings to watch and learn from. Maybe no other children around that are their age to play with.

Our daughter was and still is one of the youngest in her classes. She had just turned 18 when she attended college. She never attended preschool, because we loved her daycare and so did she. She adored her teachers and her little friends. On the first day of kindergarten, she walked straight into the classroom and never looked back. She was totally prepared for school and the expectations.
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The good thing is that parents have choices. Pick what is best for YOUR child. It may be different for each of your children and that is ok.

What kind of school is he in? He should just be in day care where he can play.
Yes, there will be a schedule, but it will mainly be inside play, outside play, craft, story time , snack, lunch , rest.. If it is all day..

3 is awful young for anything really, really structured. Remember a 3 year old has the attention span of about 3 minutes. Some children IF interested can be kept interested a little longer, but not by much unless they are allowed to move around.

IMHO he is way too young for a highly structured, "school" type setting - which can be particularly difficult for boys sometimes.

I have two sons - 16 & 13 - and have first-hand experience (at least how I saw this issue play out for my two).

If I had it to do over I would never have my either of my sons (they are quite different from each other) in "pre-school."

What do you mean by "school?" Are the teachers teaching academic subjects (like reading, math, etc.)? If yes, no 3-year-old, especially boys, should be subjected to that. It's too early.

Sending a kid to school too soon makes them HATE school, which is an emotion that could carry on throughout grade school years. Pushing academics too early does much more harm than good.

Your son is probably bright and normal. School for 3-year-olds is NOT normal. Day care is much more normal. Especially a home day care.

You may want to try an ECFE class -- early childhood family education class offered through community education. ECFE is for parents and children. ECFE teaches parents the right way to guide a child (notice, I didn't say "discipline"). Then you'll know what to watch for when choosing future teachers for your child, too.

There might not be enough structure for him. Speak with the teachers and find out what his day is like. Speak with the administrators to see if they have any solutions. If they don't have any answers, find another school. Don't pull him out of this one until you find another one, though.
LBC

Aqfter 10 days they expect a three your old to be used to something? That is absurd. Move him to a better school. Obviously they expect way to much put of kids.

Every preschool is different. Some are run like the school day while others have no structure at all, then there is the type that mixes those two well. At a preschool there is only so much discipline they can do, they can repeatly ask the child to come join the group, or do the project, but they can not force the child to do it. Of course they will step in if there are hurtful words or actions, but beyond that they do not discipline and it is not their job.

You have to find a preschool/daycare that fits your childs needs.Your little one is only 3yrs old so he may not be ready for a heavy school setting. You can not expect the school to change what they are doing for your child, the only reason to change something if it is harmful. Your child does have to adjust and most teacher I have meet do the best that they can to help the adjustment. This is why you research where you are sending a young child, to find what is best for them.

If your child wants to play then maybe you need to find a place more geared to that. Otherwise if you want him to go here YOU have to let him know that this is where he is going, this is when you are picking him up, he has to listen to the teachers... be the parent and set the rules! In the end if he is not ready for it, he is not ready and you need to find something else or try again next year.

School DOES NOT discipline, that is the parents job... I hate it when parents blame the school for bad behaving children or children that are not disciplined, that is 100% the job of the parent, the teachers give 100% to teaching and educating! Yes they will step in if something is harmful but parents have to be backing that up at home and being the leaders.

The teachers expect that the child will listen and the child needs to recognize that the teacher is the adult they should be listening to. The school is not there to raise your child, the school is there to educate your child. Yes structure is needed but the child also has to adjust and get encourangement to do what is scheduled... you as a parent need to encourage him to do that or change to place that is better suited for your child or try preschool again at another time if it is no a must.

By three years old a child should (for the most part) be developmentally ready to learn certain skills such as learning to sit in a small group for an activity, listen to simple directions, walk in a line, sit at a table for activities or snack, etc. but it does take time to master these skills-much longer than 10 days! He should also be given plenty of time for free play activities at this age as well. Do I understand that the teachers told you that he hasn't adjusted after 10 days, therefore do not send him to school or leave it up to if the child wants to go? If so, there is something wrong with that picture! Especially for a child that has never been in a school setting before. I would clarify with the teachers to make sure you understand that that is in fact what they are saying and then look around for other preschool programs. Ask other moms you know, check with your church or ask your pediatrician for their recommendations. There should be a good mix of age appropriate activities such as free play, art, music, gross motor activities, story time and outdoor time, etc. Your son should be able to pick things he likes to do, however he also should start learning there are times he must follow a schedule as well. Hope this helps!
A.

I simply think your child is not ready and you should remove them and try again next year. Sounds like you are just putting yourself, the teacher and the child out for no good reason. Teachers aren't there to discpline your child in the first place. They are there to teach. Every time your child acts up it takes away from them teaching the children that are ready.

Some kids are just on different levels than others and yours just isn't ready at 3 to start a "schooling" program.