My Baby Boy HATES His Car Seat

Updated on July 08, 2009
H.B. asks from Windham, CT
12 answers

We have a 5 month old who has hated his car seat since he was born. It often prevents us from leaving the house for more than a ten minute drive. He screams and cries so much that he starts gasping for breath and turns purple sometimes. We stop the car to calm him down but once we put him back in the seat he starts screaming again. He has a a car seat mobile and a lighted mirror and I sit back there with him and try to entertain him while my husband drives, but this does not seem to make a difference to him. Any advice?

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W.H.

answers from New London on

I was on vacation and my boy was three months old. He screamed and screamed and screamed in the car seat we rented. I realized on the last day there was a piece of hard plastic digging into his back! I still feel bad and he's 9 months old. Maybe there is something digging into him. W.

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M.K.

answers from Boston on

My son had this same problem (also from birth). He did better once we switched him out of the infant carrier into a rear-facing convertible car seat. It didn't solve the problem entirely, but it helped quite a bit. If you haven't already bought a convertible, I recommend taking your baby to a store and trying out a few to see if there's one he likes better. Babies R Us will even let you take them out to your car to try out.

Good luck, I know how difficult it can be to have a child who screams EVERY time you go somewhere in the car!

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M.C.

answers from Hartford on

Sympathy from me, as well. I didn't manage car trips of more than 15 minutes alone with my son for the better part of a year due to the same dynamic. He'd be screaming so hard that I'd feel a need to pull over or turn around and go home because it shattered my nerves and I felt *I* was unsafe on the road beyond a certain point!

I hate to say it but I think the best we can do is lobby for car seat reform: These companies need to find a way to make safe forward-facing infant seats! I think that's the problem for a lot of kids. I think the othe rproblem is that they're tipped back and they're not ergonomical! I woudln't be comfortable sitting in a grown-up one of those, would you?

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M.C.

answers from Boston on

My son hated his infant seat as well. We had him checked and there was nothing physical - he just hated the angle of it. When we switched him to the big convertible car seat (we got a Sunshine Radian 80) he was much happier because he sits up much straighter. We switched at 6 months or so - you can switch anytime, the convertible seats start at around 5 pounds and some go up to 80 pounds or more. I feel for you...nothing helped and we had some miserable, miserable rides those first 6 months.

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E.M.

answers from Boston on

My son loves his infant carrier! He is 20 months old and still rides in It because he hasn't outgrown the weight and height limits yet. I think he loves it so much because he has had positive experiences in it. I have always brought it into the house and let him sit in it or play with it. We put his bear in it and rock him.if u can find fun or soothing things to do with it I think it would help. Another idea is to put something in there with him that he loves. A blanky, lovey, whatever. Could try putting him in and swaddle hm and them rock him in the seat while u r home to get him usf to it gradually. My sons blanky is the bundle me cover we used to attach to the carseat. It was his soothng item. It wil take some time to disasociate the carseat with unpleasantness but u can get over this by finding a way for him to have fun in it. If that doesn't work u could always buy a convertible carseat and rear face it. Take him to the store and try some ovt for comfort. Don't put him in if he's crying. U wouldn't want him to asociate this new one with those feelings as well. Good luck!

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P.N.

answers from Boston on

My DD was the same way. She hated it. It didn't matter if I was back there or not. I didn't go out a lot but when I did I planned it around naps so she would fall asleep usually. Otherwise she just cried the whole time. She did eventually get over it. That was long before she was turned forward as we kept her rear facing until she outgrew it, so it wasn't the rear facing aspect that bugged her, I think it was being strapped in. We tried toys, lovies, whatever, nothing really worked. She just eventually outgrew it. Sorry, I cannot be more helpful. That was a very painful stage for me and I really felt like a shut in!

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L.B.

answers from Barnstable on

H.,
Have you had his hips checked for displacia? (sp?)

My youngest child, now 25 yrs old, did the same. Sounded in pain. Took her to the dr., had xrays done, and sure enough one hip was totally out, the other somewhat. She didn't even have the sockets for her leg bone to go into. Don't want to scare you, it's fixable, but needs to be fixed when they are very little. Colleen is fine now, a Mom herself. Her daughter had the same issue, only not so severe.

Hope it helps.
L.

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B.R.

answers from Providence on

I dont have any real advise except for to say my son had the same problem Untill he was one and was able to be turned around. I think that traveling backwards made him sick or something :( I am sorry you have to go through this as i have been there. Sorry i have no other advise for you .

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

My son did this until I bought a seat that goes rear facing to forward facing (infant-toddler) seat. He seems much more comfortable, its more padded, and I think the angle is better. At 5 months that shouldn't be a problem when you go out because he can sit in a stroller or you can wear him. My son has only screamed once or twice since we got that seat and he is now 2. I wish I had it from the get go.

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H.B.

answers from Boston on

My daughter hated her car seat too - and I think a lot of it was just her temperament (she didn't like being by herself, or confined, etc)... and for months I wouldn't go more than 20 minutes in the car because she was so miserable. And then one day I had to drive into the city, and the drive down was fine because she slept, but on the way back she was HYSTERICAL. I mean, out and out BAWLING... and I was so desperate and didn't know what to do, and I was scanning through the radio stations trying to see if I could find something to calm her (or at least me!) down... And I stumbled onto NPR and didn't mean to, but left it on the station for a minute (I think I was making a turn and couldn't tend to the radio)... No kidding - my sweet, sad, crying baby got very quiet. Who knew! NPR - something about the monotone voices just flicked a switch for her. She's almost 3 now and I still have to listen to NPR whenever we're in the car. Its the only thing that kept her from screaming until she was almost 18 months!

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

i remember leaning over the car seat while driving (not me of course) to nurse my babies so that they wouldn't cry in the car. What we Mom's go through!

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

H.,

My nephew was the same way for awhile as well. He did out grow it though. I'm not sure if they ever figured out what the issue was or not. He is now 4 years old.

However another thought is to have him checked by your doctor. Maybe it's acid reflux or something medical that is upsetting him.

Good luck,
L. M

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